Fic: You've Got to Hide Your Love Away (7/17)
“If we’re that bad, that much of a threat to the universe,” she snarls as viciously as she can, “Then why don’t you jus’ destroy us like you destroyed your own people!”
Those words - angry, hurtful words - resonate in her soul. Words that she cannot take back, no matter how many stars she may wish upon. Words that, even though she didn't mean them, she knows will forever change the way he feels about her.
~~~
A hush falls over the room.
He can feel their eyes burning a hole in his back, hear their hearts beating in double time, taste their fear in the air…
He knows he should be shocked but he’s not; two days ago he would have but not now, not anymore. The girl that was ripped from his side so long ago is no more; a hardened soul left in her place. His memories of her - kind and caring beyond anything he ever would've dared to imagine - have been tainted and he’s left now with this stranger standing in front of him.
“You’ve changed Rose,” he says and means it. How could this be the same person who once sympathized with a lonely Dalek, once stayed his hand from harming it - more so because it almost took her from him then for any other reason - and felt pity for its plight? How could she have changed so much in so little time, strayed so far from the beautiful, wonderful person he once knew?
He doesn’t know and, now more then ever, he isn’t willing to stick around to find out.
~~~
“Mr. Tyler?” the intercom squeals to life. “Mr. Tyler, sir, I’m sorry to bother you but we’ve got multiple targets on the ground. There’s a dozen…no, wait…two dozen ships. We’re surrounded sir!” There’s a pause and the occupants of the tiny room can just barely make out the sounds of a panicked news report, then the oh-so-familiar drone of the emergency broadcast signal.
Another pause and the still unidentified voice continues, “Oh my God, sir. It’s the United States…we’ve lost all contact with them. We think… Visual contact can’t be confirmed but we think they may have been destroyed.”
The uncomfortable silence now broken everyone springs into action, shifting towards the doorway. There’s an uncertainty though as they glance one after another at the pair standing so very close together, still seemingly frozen in time.
~~~
She feels as though she's in a dream. A horrible, terrifying dream from which there's no escape. Which, she supposes, she is. Because, no matter what happens, she knows she will never, ever escape the brutal truth of what she just did.
She can barely register what's going on around her. It's taking every last bit of concentration she has just to maintain this ridiculous staring contest they’re locked in; a battle of wills between the two most stubborn people she knows. But, though she may not have heard the cries of dismay at the recent turn of events, he has.
Shaking his head in obvious disgust he turns away from her, following the rest of the group that is swiftly exiting the room. Pausing just inside the doorway, his voice is devoid of all feeling and so quiet she has to strain to hear it. “I don’t know you anymore…and maybe I never did.”
Then he’s gone.
Blinking once, twice she tries to regain some semblance of composure, refusing to allow the tears lingering at the edge of her vision to fall. She doesn’t deserve the comfort of a good cry, not after what she’s done, and there’s no one to blame but herself. This is exactly what she wanted from the beginning, pushing him as far away from her as she possibly could…
She hears the commotion going on in the next room and knows that she really should join them, should find out what’s going on and what, if anything, she can do to help. But she can’t. It’s hard enough right now just to remain upright and not fall to the floor in a heap. Her body is shaking so hard that she’s surprised it hasn’t given out on her completely yet.
“Rose?” The voice is quiet, subdued, but she starts a little anyway. She thought she was the only one still here; thought that she had been left as alone as she feels inside.
Looking up she finds a very concerned Mickey looking at her from across the room. “’M alright,” she says, sounding far calmer then she is. “Jus’…I need a minute. Be out in a tic, kay?”
He nods reluctantly and with very little conviction. But her request is honored and once he’s gone too and she’s well and truly alone, she lets out a breath she wasn’t even aware she’d been holding. She needs to get a grip on herself and fast. There’s far more important things right now then her own personal little soap opera and she’s more then a little ashamed she’s let it go on this long.
Shaking it off, she vows to herself that she will not let her emotions take control until this whole mess is sorted, then heads quickly out of the room and right into the thick of things.
~~~
“I appreciate your effort Doctor, I really do, but I think it’s a little late for diplomacy don’t you?”
He had hoped for a better response then this, had hoped that at least one of them would’ve seen the value of his plan. But from the looks of their faces they don’t. Not even Jack seems impressed and, from the way he keeps shifting his weight from one foot to the other, the Doctor can tell he feels uncomfortable about that fact. Well, they can all just sod off then. He came here to help and if they can’t even entertain the idea that this war could potentially end without the bloodshed so typical of their race then there’s no point in him staying any longer.
“So be it,” he says simply, then strides over to the doorway, fully intending to leave them to their own devices. But Jack's standing in front of him, blocking his exit.
“You can’t do this, Doc.”
“Yes, I can Jack, and I will. I am not about to be witness to the atrocities that you apes seem to be more then willing to commit.” He whirls around to face the rest of the room anger apparent in his voice, “You lot never learn do you? You just…you never learn.”
They can’t even look him in the eyes much less construct a reasonable response. Not like he expected them to but still. It’s so sad and pathetic the way they continually ignore their failings as sentient beings; never willing to change, never willing to even accept the possibility that they may be wrong. What he ever saw in them over the years he’ll never know.
He’s just about to remove Jack - forcefully if necessary - from his path when one brave soul, one bright light in a sea of darkness, steps forward. “It seems to me,” she begins, “that it couldn’t hurt any if you just gave his plan a try.”
She’s hesitant and unsure of herself but Gwen Cooper isn’t about to let that stop her and he can’t help but smile just a little bit because of her.
“Have you or haven’t you seen what’s outside?” Mickey asks voice filled with disdain.
“I have, and I know just as well as you do what’s at stake here. See, this might not even be my universe but I’ve dealt with threats back home that could’ve just as easily destroyed mine as well. And every time, every single time someone, human or not, has to die in order to save our world I feel like I’ve failed at my job.” He watches as she slowly walks in a complete circle around the room, her confidence growing with each step, each sentence.
“I used to be like everyone else. Get up, go to work, meet my mates for a pint, maybe manage a quick shag before bed, then do it all over again. I know now there’s so much more out there and we are nothing, nothing compared to the rest of the universe. And he’s right ya know,” she jerks her thumb in his direction. “We’re all so full of ourselves, so focused on our own petty little lives, that we think we know what’s best and ain’t no one gonna tell us otherwise.” She stops her pacing and shakes her head, “We don’t even stop to think about the consequences of our actions.”
He takes a quick peek around the room and finds it not surprising in the least that all eyes are on her. This is greatness, this is exactly the reason why he keeps coming back to them…this is one of the reasons he fell in love with Rose...
She’s watching Gwen too, her expression blank, her body language muted.
“I don’t even want to think about what all those other races, all those alien beings we haven’t even met yet, think about us. Because even though we’re not, us humans we act like we’re the center of the universe. It begins and ends with us, doesn’t it?” Her voice becomes accusing. “Well, I’m sorry to say but it really doesn’t and now that we’ve taken those first few steps out into space we need to start thinking about that.”
She’s exhausted herself, allowed her anger to get the best of her and now she’s drained. There’s so much more she could’ve said, he can see it in her eyes, but her spirited lecture has left her without the energy to go on. It was passionate and perfect and he can’t forget to ask her if she’s ever longed to travel to the stars.
“Alright, Doctor,” Pete says with a slight nod. “You’ve got an hour. Let’s see if you can perform a miracle. Oh, and Gwen?” The brunette turns to him. “What ever Jack’s paying you, I’ll double it!”
~~~
“I jus' don’t understand why it has to be me,” she says in a voice verging on whining.
“I've gone over this with you already, luv. Only a handful of people know the code to that particular hanger and everyone else is otherwise occupied right now.”
“So why can’t you jus’…I don’t know…give someone else here the security clearance?”
Pete pauses in the middle of loading the gun he wants her to take with for protection and gives her a perfect ‘I’m trying to be patient with you’ look. “You know we don't have the time for that. As we speak the Wraith are practically knocking down our front door.”
“Which is why I wanna stay here, help you fend them off.” It's a lie and she knows that he knows it.
He lets out a sigh before continuing with the task at hand. “Look, I realize the two of you must've had quite a row before you got here, but it can't be that bad.” The pistol is fully loaded now and he places it on the table, picking up the next in line.
“ 's not about that. I--”
Before she can finish her sentence, he slams his fist on the table so hard it re vibrates throughout the room. “Stop lying to me Rose! I know I haven't been your dad for very long but I had thought we'd gotten to the point where we trusted each other.” She's never seen him like this, never even heard him raise his voice before, and, as frightening as it is, it's also eye-opening. “I don't know what your problem is but I'm sick of watching you wallow in self-pity and lash out at the one person who would...no, the one person who has, gone to the ends of the universe for you.”
Shame burns her cheeks and she turns away from him. “You're right and there's no excuse for it. I jus'...I don't think I can face him right now.”
“ 'n I understand that but you're going to have to find a way to cope.” And, as he shoves her weaponry across the table, she knows the conversation is as good as done. “Just make sure you get it all sorted before you get back. Because if you don't I may just take you over my knee, parallel dad or not.”
And with that, he walks out the door, leaving her alone with her thoughts once more.
Chapter Eight...