That Last Day

[shadoweon]

It's still hard for me to believe shes really gone, I keep feeling like shes just away until she gets better but thats not the case. Everything reminds me of her outside of my room and I can't not cry when I see the food i'll never be able to give her. The leash I can never use with her again

Comments

[kurikuribebi]

I had to think long and hard before commenting because this is a sensitive issue for me -- I've been in your shoes twice. My first dog went in to the surgery room and she was supposed to come out, but things were worse than assumed so my father returned empty handed and informed us that they had had no choice but to put her to sleep. My father stayed with her of course, but none of the rest of us got to say goodbye because we had assumed she was coming back.

My second dog had been in her golden years. We knew she'd pass soon but it happened suddenly, so she passed alone in the back yard. Again, no one got to say goodbye and I wasn't even in the country so I felt worse.

It is very tough for people like us, people who love our dogs as actual family and often times more than we like people. We end up with a blank space that just doesn't go away.

[shadoweon]

I didn't know that you went through something similar, i'm very sorry if this post has brought back harsh memories. Even if you couldn't have been with them then I can tell you cared alot for both of them. :c

What breeds were they? Cookie was a collie (the lassie sort,not border collie).

Tonight will be the one week anniversary but i'm still having a pretty hard time. I'm not crying all the time but its still hard coping with her not being here anymore

Thank you for your kind comment. <3 I do read your entries I just don't often know what to say on them that's why I don't comment. Its not that I don't care about it.

[kurikuribebi]

Don't worry about that -- if I only commented on people's entries in order to receive comments back, I wouldn't be a very good friend. And I totally get that sometimes there just aren't words to be said!

The first dog that died was a Labrador-retriever mix. Both breeds have a high cancer rate, so we should have assumed that cancer would be the end of her some day but we never even considered the thought.

The second one, the one that died of old age, was a mutt we rescued from a sewer pipe after her mum gave birth down there. She was a cocker-spaniel, terrier mix who lived forever. She died at a good age of 18.

Both were cremated and we've mixed their ashes.
I know it's not what you might want to hear but it's never going to get easy -- never. Forgetting someone who did you wrong is easy. But moving past someone that loved you unconditionally without expecting more than a few slices of bacon in return? Very very difficult.
All you can do is take it day by day and not rush in to getting another pet too soon.