Feel (Chapter Ten)
Title: Feel
Chapter: Nine
Pairing: Elle/Claire
Summary: AU after Eclipse.
Sorry I took so long to update! Life got in the way!
Elle groaned inwardly but she couldn’t open her eyes, which felt unusually heavy. She remembered a feeling similar to this when she had drunk too much of her fathers wine. It was like she couldn’t control her body…but this time she didn’t like it.
Slowly she began to regain the feeling in the various parts of her body. Her legs were heavy and numb, her head was pounding, her stomach was growling and there was a soft hand intertwined with hers…wait a second.
Elle fought to open her eyes, to make sure.
She was greeted by the top of a messy mop of blond hair. Claire was asleep, lying half on the bed, but still sitting on an arm chair that had been moved over as close as it could possibly get to the side of the bed. Their hands were still interlaced and Elle smiled as she touched Claire’s face gently with her free hand, as her brain filtered through the mess of the last time she had seen the younger girl.
Elle momentarily wondered whether she had died the other day at the hotel, but decided this wasn’t so bad if she had. She wouldn’t mind being here for eternity one bit. After she had re-memorised every contour of Claire’s face, Elle managed to pry her eyes away and looked around the unfamiliar room, which was full of strategically placed teddy bears and trophies….and pink! Lots and lots of pink. Elle shook her head softly and rolled her eyes when she realised that she was in was Claire’s room. She was such a dork.
Claire must have felt the movement because she stirred, and Elle fought to maintain a cool façade, as the cheerleader looked up and saw that she was awake. Claire immediately shot up and pulled her chair up towards the head of the bed, never breaking eye contact. She mirrored the wide grin that Elle imagined must be splattered across her face by now. So much for playing it cool.
“Elle….you’re ok”, she breathed, squeezing her hand.
Elle shrugged, “Yeah - I’m guessing I have your super strength blood to thank for that…so thank you”, Elle had to work to keep her tone sincere…she really did mean it but years of talking a certain way had left her unsure whether she even believed herself.
Claire beamed, “It was the first time I’ve actually been thankful for my ability…it was the first time it ever felt right….saving you”, Elle looked at her and then looked down, still unable to look people in the eyes when she had something important to say. A habit picked up from her youth.
“You’ll do more important things then this Claire…you’ll do so many great things for the world. This, well this surely wont be one of them.” Claire shook her head, “That’s where you’re wrong. I don’t thin you realise how… I can’t do this without you. I can’t do anything without you. If I hadn’t met you id still be skulking in my room hating the world. You made me realise what’s out there.”
Elle smiled and shrugged, “I am pretty fantastic”, she said easily, with a sarcastic grin on her face.
“You really are.” Claire said. No trace of mocking in her tone. Elle felt her heart in her throat. Elle looked down again, and Claire put her finger under her chin, “You know how I feel about you. You remember what I said to you didn’t you…I do love you.”
Elle smiled nervously torn between elation of the memory and the fear of having to say it back. Having to expose herself…her vulnerability. It was something she had been warned against her entire life.
“Do you have anything to say?” Claire said finally. Her eyes unsure.
“You know how I feel…” Elle let her sentence teeter off.
Claire searched her eyes, “Not until you say the words”
Elle fought an internal battle, one side of her wanting to do anything to please Claire and the other hell bent of self protection. “You know I’m not that girl…I can’t…”
“You can’t or you don’t want to?”
“I can’t” She whispered and Claire squeezed her hand, “I can wait”
“I might never be ready,”
“I can wait forever”
Elle smiled in spite of the corny line. Then diverted the conversation to cover the blush that had crept over her face, “So how on earth am I in your house without my feet stuck in a bucket or water….it just doesn’t feel right”
Claire raised an eyebrow but said nothing, “Sylar is sedated somewhere….I wasn’t really paying attention….and they were talking about what to do with you and I said…I told them how you saved me….and surprisingly Dad was willing to let you recover here.”
“Who knew all it took to win him over was a pole to the stomach…easy peasy.”
Claire rolled her eyes, “So Dad, Dad two and Peter are downstairs.” Elle felt her body tense slightly but tried to hide it. She wasn’t successful though as Claire’s interest had been peaked by her bodies reaction.
“Oh”
“What is it?” she asked, genuinely concerned.
“Nothing. It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”
“I worry about everything. Tell me”
“Nothing I just….Me and Peter don’t get along that great.” Elle shrugged, trying to be nonchalant about the whole situation.
“I remember you said something about that in the hotel room….care to elaborate?”
“Not really”, Elle said, feeling like a petulant child.
“Why!?”
“He is your family; I’m not going to say anything bad about him. I’m not that stupid”
“Don’t say anything bad then, just the truth.”
“He just….we just…we had words….and he explained something to me, and I thought it would be best if I left you alone.”
“Left me alone? Something he said is the reason you never followed me? What did he say?” Elle watched as Claire’s voice increased in pitch and intensity…it was making her slightly uncomfortable.
“I don’t….”
“Don’t protect him; I have a right to know what he said. I never asked him to be my big brother. What did he say?”
Elle hesitated, not liking to tell on someone…she thought it was of ill taste, but she was angry at herself for upsetting Claire again…and if she had to say something…then choosing between having to say I love you out loud and this, well she knew which one would be easier.
“He just said…he said that you didn’t really care about me, that it was more a pity thing…,” Elle trailed off and waved a hand in the air, “Or you know…whatever.”
Claire tensed and the grip she had held on Elle’s hand faltered. Elle knew she shouldn’t have said anything! Now she was angry at her….scrambling to rectify the situation Elle started to formulate words but was shocked when Claire jumped up and made off towards the door.
“Where are you going?” she blurted before her brain had even registered what was happening.
“Where do you think?” Claire said, looking furious. Elle swallowed to try and get rid of the dry throat that was preventing her from speaking but it was to no avail. No words would come out.”
“I’m sorry” she stuttered quickly, “I know I shouldn’t have said that but I wasn’t…I’m not…I’m sorry.” Claire’s anger dissipated quickly, “I’m not angry at you Elle don’t be ridiculous! I’m furious at Peter…I don’t know why he thinks I need him to interfere with my life…but I don’t. I know what I want.”
# # #
Claire’s heart strained when she saw how relieved Elle looked…like she even had to worry about her feelings for the older girl at this point…it was endearing and infuriating at the same time.
“I want you…and if there are people that aren’t happy with that then they are going to have to live with it, because I’ve lost you once I’m not going to do it again. Ever.” Elle smiled and grabbed her hand again loosely, tracing her fingers over them softly, making the hairs on the back of Claire’s neck stand to attention.
Once touch and her whole body was already on fire….she is in recovery she reminded herself, to stop from jumping on her right there and then. She waited this long, she could wait another few days. Her resolve, however, was rapidly disappearing as Elle continued her sensory assault, her hands now roaming up her arms.
“Elle”, she breathed and opened her eyes to see the older girl smirking in her usual way, her eyes sparkling softly.
“Yes cheerleader?” She said innocently as the lifted her hand to her lips and kissed it softly.
“We should wait….” Claire said, trying to be rational. Her whole family was home, her whole extended family too. It was too dangerous to start something she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop.
“For what? Elle whispered. “For you to join the company and me to go on a cross country rampage? Aren’t you tried of waiting? I am”.
Claire said nothing which Elle took as agreement; she tugged Claire’s hand softly and pulled her down on to the bed beside her. Elle smiled softly as she brushed loose strands of hair back from Claire’s face.
“My whole life I’ve followed everyone else’s plans…their dreams. I’ve never really been able to follow my heart. And I might not be ready to say the words…but know that the only thing I’ve ever wanted this badly is you. I didn’t choose this life, but I choose this …You…forever.”
Claire didn’t fight the tear that rolled down her cheek, as their lips finally crashed together, months of longing culminating in one perfect moment.
Author’s note: Wow, sorry about the massive update delay, I’ve been so busy! But the review love always brings me back, thanks guys! Its not that long I Apologize, I’ll be a good girl and crank out a longer one next time.