Feel (Chapter Nine)
Title: Feel
Pairing:Elle/Claire
Summary: Claire Vs. Sylar. Vs. Elle - take two.
9.
Claire finally broke the silence which had lasted so long that there was now a thick air of tension. She wanted to tell Elle everything, to tell her anything that would make her understand what she meant to her. Claire was having trouble finding the words to let Elle know that thoughts of her consumed her so much that every choice, every action made in these past months had been done to get to this place. To get to her.
Claire had so much that she needed to get out, that she didn’t know how she could ever begin. “Hey”, was all that she could actually get out of her dry throat and she immediately felt stupid. Like the child she had been so desperately trying to leave behind.
Whilst Claire was internally berating herself, she realised that there was a small half smile on to the lips of the older girl. Claire beamed back at Elle, unable to wash the grin off her face, but neither of them moved, both rooted to the ground on which they currently stood.
She had to stop herself from reaching out to grab Elle right there and then. Baby steps, she reminded herself. Claire had to ball her hands in to little fists kept tightly by her sides to obey her internal command. To stop from reaching out to her.
She saw the way Elle was studying her face, her head cocked to the side as they continued their staring contest. As stupid as it felt she was wishing she had worn something else, done her hair differently….when did I become such a girl? She mused silently. She had never given a second thought to such things, but suddenly she wished she had. Elle looked so glamorous and she felt like a kid playing grown up.
Elle had yet to speak and it was making Claire anxious, she didn’t know how much time they had, and she had so much ground to cover. But she knew better then to push the older girl, as she wouldn’t respond well to that.
So Claire waited patiently as she drank in Elle’s features, greedily letting her eyes memorise her. She had no pictures of Elle; well none that weren’t pulled from security cameras…and that wasn’t who she was. Her Elle and everyone else’s Elle were very different people.
Elle opened her mouth to speak, before shutting it promptly and looking at the ground. Claire ached to touch her but she wasn’t going to give her any excuse to run away. Not again. Finally Elle looked up and met Claire’s eyes, they were searching for something and Claire wished she knew what it was so she could give it to her.
Claire took one step towards her and Elle took a step back, her eyes flashing. Claire tried to bite down the rejection, “What are you doing here pom-pom?”, she asked finally. Her arms still wrapped tightly around her body, forming a barrier between herself and the world.
She opened her mouth to respond but the words were spilling out of Elle’s mouth now, “Why are you here? Who are you with….what do you want from me?”, Claire took a step forward once again but this time Elle stayed glued to her spot, she was trying to act indifferent but Claire could see she was confused…scared.
“Are you actually going to let me talk?”, she asked with a small smile, hoping to lighten the mood a little.
“That depends”, Elle responded softly, a pout on her lips.
“Depends on what?”
“On whether or not I’ll like the answer,” she said with a shrug. Claire was about to answer when a stricken look suddenly made its way on to Elle’s face and she shook her head violently, “Shit”, she quickly closed the gap between them and grabbed Claire’s wrist, pulling her along behind her toward the door. Claire tried to focus on what was happening and was about to protest when Elle’s touch suddenly made her light headed. Her hands were as soft as she remembered.
“Sylar will be back any minute; you have to get out of here. He will…”, Claire held a hand up and stopped her from going any further, closing the door which she had just whipped open. “He is…busy, he won’t be back soon.”
Elle looked confused, “I don’t understand…” Claire fought back the urge to smile when she realised that Elle had yet to remove her hand.
“You’re with them?” She asked, looking horrified, whipping her hand back off Claire’s skin like she had been burned.
Claire shook her head softly, Elle took two steps backwards but her eyes never left Claire’s face. “I’m not with them….well I’m with them, but I’m not with them.” Claire swore internally, she couldn’t even understand what she was trying to say.
“You can’t make me go back there with you, I won’t go.” Claire was confused now, “I’m not trying to….”. She began, but Elle turned on her heel quickly, putting a hand up to her forehead, “I can’t believe that I didn’t see this coming. Peter said you would always stick together but I didn’t think….”
Claire had no idea what was going on but she knew it wasn’t going well, she struggled to keep up with what was going on, why the fuck was Peter talking to Elle about her?
“Peter?...I don’t…” She struggled to form words, to keep up, she was trying so hard to be grown up but she just wanted to fall to her knees and apologise for anything she did or didn’t do. She would do anything to stop this conversation from going south, which was where it looked like it was heading, and fast.
# # #
Elle didn’t know what to do, she wouldn’t go quietly but she could never hurt Claire. Claire the new shiny perfect company girl, why hadn’t she seen this coming? It made complete sense; she just couldn’t believe Noah had agreed to it.
Claire had always been better than Elle at everything, it made sense that they would figure out how useful she would be to the company. But she didn’t belong there; she deserved so much more then that.
Turning around she saw that Claire was still struggling to form words, but Elle didn’t have the time to wait for her to get them out. “Fuck”, she whispered softly. This had to be some sort of cosmic joke.
Elle turned her back to the girl and grabbed her packed bag, “Fuck you cheerleader,” she tried to slide past her but Claire stopped her. Her eyes pleading. “I don’t know how I managed to fuck this up so badly, but this wasn’t how I wanted this to go,”
Elle was furious, “And how did you want it to go pom-pom?”, you wanted me to put my hands together and be led back to that hell hole quietly. “You have no idea…”
“I do,” she interjected quickly, “I do”. Suddenly Elle felt her face flush, Claire’s Eyes let on that she did know. Elle suddenly felt humiliated. Ashamed. Everything she was trying to run away from was here and in her face. And the one person she wanted to think that she was strong and independent knew all of her weaknesses.
“You know nothing”, Elle said. Her voice quivering.
Claire moved towards her and Elle made no movement. Her heart was beating too fast and her legs were shaking too violently. She was stuck, here at the mercy of the only person who could truly break her.
“Maybe not”, she agreed softly. “But I know a few things”.
Elle took the bait, “Like?….”, Elle couldn’t resist the bait.
“Like…,” the indestructible girls voice was quivering and Elle wanted to comfort her, despite her mind screaming at her to run.
“Like, I know that when I woke up and you weren’t there…you broke my heart,” Claire broke eye contact but moved closer still, so that there was mere inches between them and if Elle had simply looked up and tilted her head they would have been touching.
She continued, “Like I joined the company to look for you….like I can’t live without you. Not know that I know what its like to live with you in my life,” Claire still didn’t look up. “I thought that I was losing feeling because of my ability, because of what my body could do, but you woke something up within me. It wasn’t my body that was shutting down…it was my heart.”
Elle was positive that she must have heard her heart beating violently out of her chest. She shook her head softly trying to clear her head, because she could not have just heard that correctly. There’s no way….
# # #
Claire finally looked up and saw Elle shaking here head softly. Her chest tightened, afraid of everything that could mean. Shaking head was a bad sign. Shit, shit , shit…
Flustered, Claire took a step backwards. Rejection wasn’t her strong suit. But Elle shot out her hand and grabbed her, keeping her in place. She slowly let her hand slide down Claire’s arm until their hands were intertwined. Claire’s whole body pulsated with the touch. She held her breath, afraid to ruin this perfect moment.
Elle opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the front door opening. They jumped apart, out of some weird reflex and both looked towards Sylar, who stood at the entrance grinning.
“Clare-bare!”, he said and laughed softly, “I should have known. Like father like daughter and all that,” he waved his hand in the air as he closed the gap between the three of them. Claire remained in front of Elle wanting to protect her. She saw a movement out of her left eye and was surprised when Elle quickly stepped around her, so that she was now the one in between them.
Claire didn’t know whether the move was to protect her or Sylar. Claire’s mind suddenly flashed to Andrew, her stomach flipped.
“Where’s Andrew?”, she said evenly.
“Andrew?” he put up a finger to his lips, pretending to mull it over, “Oh, skinny guy? Bad suit?…he ran as soon as I figured out his little ruse. So pitiful I couldn’t even be bothered following him,” Claire let out the breath she hadn’t known that she had been holding.
He studied her over Elle’s shoulder, “Though I am interested as to why Elle got the company’s number one new recruit and I got Joe nobody…intriguing,” he smiled.
Elle stepped forward, “Sylar,”, she said sternly, as though she was reprimanding a child, “Claire was just leaving. So were we. Let’s not do this. Please”
“Do what, Sugar?” he smiled. “That’s all I want to know… what the fuck is going on?”, Claire stepped out from behind Elle, and stole a glance to see that the older girl was pretty pissed at her for doing so.
“What the fucks going on? Sylar, you didn’t think that everybody was going to let you criss-cross the country reeking havoc wherever you went and not step in.” Claire did her best to look at him with no trace of fear.
“Let me?”, he laughed harshly, “You say that like you think you could stop me if you wanted to…silly child”, Claire felt her face flush. She hated being referred to as a child, especially in front of Elle. Claire went to retaliate, to tell him that they had something that could bring him down. Her common sense stopped her, giving away her upper hand may not be the brightest idea if she was trying to assert how grown up she was.
She shut her mouth promptly, and Elle took over. She walked up to Sylar and put a hand on his chest pulling his face away from its lock on Claire so that it was focused on her.
Claire felt a stab of jealousy. It ripped through her entire body, she couldn’t watch this….but she couldn’t look away. It was like a car wreck. She couldn’t help herself.
“We knew they were after us…and there will be more coming soon, we should take our head start.” She cooed softly. His features softened when they locked on her. It would be fascinating if she weren’t so horrified…that the greatest monster of their time was brought to his knees by the electric girl. Just like she was.
Sylar shook his head, “Or we stay and get them off our backs,” he smiled, “Think of how much fun it would be Elle.” Elle’s hand dropped from his face but her hand on his chest stayed in place, much to Claire’s dismay. Elle made no move to speak, seemingly trying to find a way out of this situation.
Sylar motioned towards Claire who was standing awkwardly in the centre of the room, “We have bait, and I know how to work it so she wouldn’t heal…we have an Achilles’ heel”, Elle stiffened and dropped her hands. Claire thought it weird that she was relieved about the lack of contact between them and not worried that she had just been threatened. She really had lost her mind.
“No” was all Elle replied. She looked like she wanted to say more but she was choking on her words. Claire’s heart swelled up when she realised she was scared. Scared for her. There was hope yet.
It was Claire’s turn to sneer, “You think that you’re keeping me here Sylar?”, She shook her head with a laugh, “If I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t. You couldn’t stop me.”
“Why would you possibly want to be here Claire?”, he said, his eyes cloudy with confusion.
“You know what, this is stupid. Is this a pissing contest?, I’m sure your both badass, but in this particular instance lets everyone just go our separate ways.” Elle said quickly, her voice dripping with desperation.
“No”, Claire and Sylar both said in unison. The room was deadly quiet as Sylar mulled something over in his head before his eyes cleared and his confusion lifted. He smiled widely.
“You want her to go with you? You want to save her from me?”, He spun to Elle quickly, “Look at that! You must have pulled off the lost little girl better than I thought. The company wants you back.” He stared at Elle for a moment, who currently had her eyes locked on Claire…the fear evident in her posture…her face. And it wasn’t fear for herself.
Sylar then slowly and then turned back to Claire, the smile vanished from his face when he saw the same desperation in her. His features had hardened. “Not the company.” He said in a low voice, “You”.
Claire said nothing but lifted her head up high. Elle was looking at Claire, there eyes were locked and Sylar made a move towards Claire but Elle stepped in and blocked him, “Don’t”.
He grabbed her arm violently, “You want her?” Elle said nothing, but whimpered from the force of his grip.
“Let go of her”, Claire said, her voice quivering with rage.
“Don’t you tell me what to do girl”, he snarled, before focusing his attention back on Elle, “This whole time. You’ve never let me in, never given yourself to me. It was because of her.” Claire’s heart beat fast, her mind racing, what did that mean?
“I told you from the start that I could never give you what you wanted,”
“Why!?”, he roared. His eyes wild, teetering on the edge on control.
“Because somebody already had it. Somebody else already has it.”
“Has what?”
“Me. All of me…”
Claire’s heart soared, this must be what happiness felt like. She had Elle’s heart. She could stop the smile that spread over her face though she was cautious to look at the ground. Afraid to antagonise Sylar further.
He let go of Elle in disgust. His fists shaking in fury, “She’s mine” he spat. Elle walked over and stood next to Claire, “I don’t belong to anyone…not anymore.”
He flicked his wrist and Elle went flying in to the wall, Claire moved to go to her but another flick and Claire was on the ground on the opposite side of the room. She fumbled trying to get her gun as her broken ankle repaired itself.
Sylar advanced on her and sent her flying again just as she had reached the handle of the gun that could save them. She cried out as her wrist snapped, and she could feel red hot liquid pouring down her face. Claire heard Elle cry out to her and wanted to respond but she was to focused on her gun and the ripping pain. He wouldn’t hurt Elle, she reminded herself. She wiped the blood away with her good hand and looked up at Sylar who was wearing a menacing grin.
“Bye cheerleader”, he said as he levitated a pole from the tv unit in the air, aiming for her skull. For where she wouldn’t heal. Claire closed her eyes and waited for the impact. She heard terrible screaming, and waited….but it took her a moment to realise it wasn’t her voice….it wasn’t her screaming.
Looking up she saw Elle on the ground with the rod in her stomach. Sylar stared horrified. Claire pushed him out of the way, but he grabbed her. Claire did a sweeping kick to the back of his knees and he fell to the ground with a thud. He moved his arm to retaliate, but Claire had her hand on her gun in an instant, and she shot the liquid bullet in to this thigh. Wounding and incapacitating him.
Running over to Elle she cradled her in her arms, “Its going to be ok, I promise”, she tried to smile reassuringly as she held her hand over the wound. Hearing the door fly open and hearing the rush of back up sweeping the premises, asking her questions, she ignored them. Focusing completely on Elle. On her Elle.
“I love you”, she said, a tear running down her cheek. Elle smiled softly and struggled to speak, her voice coming out husky and broken, “I know you do pom-pom”. Claire laughed through her tears and kissed her lips, not caring who saw. But when she pulled back, Elle’s eyes fluttered closed.
Authors note: Mean I know. But be nice and I might keep going ;) Thanks for the reviews guys, I adore them. They make my day. xox