Well I can't answer the question of where you are, but I think that you had a very true realization - at least it's true for my life!
It took me many years into my current relationship (now marriage) to realize that you do not need to, nor should you, get EVERYthing from your partner. We spend quite a lot of time together, yet have hardly anything in common. We definitely have become interested in the things the other likes, but even so... we don't agree on movies, music, politics, not even decorating style. You'd think we'd be that couple that "argues all the time", but that's not even close! I have other friends, and so does he, that share our more unique interests and we pursue them that way.
"I think both of us--he more than me--forget how much chemistry we have. Not just physical (though definitely physical), but in every way."
From one of your last posts, that doesn't sound like settling.
I'm confused by what you're asking though. Are you expecting someone you want to be around 24 hours a day? Do you want "endless togetherness?"
After, just about nine years, endless togetherness with Mike sounds, well, terrible. I've been gone for the past nine days. We talked everyday, I missed him and by the end was ready to come back, but if we spent every moment together, we wouldn't still be together. We spend most our time together. But you have to have breaks.
It seems as if you and skydiver have more than just an hour worth of conversation in common. Why do you need to have the same interests? I love poetry, I'm working on my master's in writing poetry. It's quite a chore to get Mike to read my poetry.
"You have to have breaks" sounds like good advice. I appreciate hearing about your experiences.
Unfortch, I'll have to apply my new-found knowledge to somebody else. :( The Skydiver would not be settling, but he is just not available right now because of his life situation (recent divorce). It's been a great experience for me to date him, but he has been very clear that he is not looking for or offering a real relationship.
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It took me many years into my current relationship (now marriage) to realize that you do not need to, nor should you, get EVERYthing from your partner. We spend quite a lot of time together, yet have hardly anything in common. We definitely have become interested in the things the other likes, but even so... we don't agree on movies, music, politics, not even decorating style. You'd think we'd be that couple that "argues all the time", but that's not even close! I have other friends, and so does he, that share our more unique interests and we pursue them that way.
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From one of your last posts, that doesn't sound like settling.
I'm confused by what you're asking though. Are you expecting someone you want to be around 24 hours a day? Do you want "endless togetherness?"
After, just about nine years, endless togetherness with Mike sounds, well, terrible. I've been gone for the past nine days. We talked everyday, I missed him and by the end was ready to come back, but if we spent every moment together, we wouldn't still be together. We spend most our time together. But you have to have breaks.
It seems as if you and skydiver have more than just an hour worth of conversation in common. Why do you need to have the same interests? I love poetry, I'm working on my master's in writing poetry. It's quite a chore to get Mike to read my poetry.
Reply
Unfortch, I'll have to apply my new-found knowledge to somebody else. :( The Skydiver would not be settling, but he is just not available right now because of his life situation (recent divorce). It's been a great experience for me to date him, but he has been very clear that he is not looking for or offering a real relationship.
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