UNTITLED BY obsessed101 [LFWS #1 ROUND 6]

[x_erikah_x]

Title: Untitled
Author: obsessed101
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Stargate belongs to Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc., no infringements of any rights is intended.
Spoilers: Season 5 general spoiler
Prompt for the Round: Write a whump fic using Teyla and any female character(s). Teyla POV.

Comments

[rustydog]

The idea of balance you introduced is lovely, and you followed through with it well. For me, unfortunately, a couple of details got in the way overall. I think the death in childbirth would have been more believable if Teyla had had some previous idea that the woman was not doing well. Even in the dark, if the woman could tell Teyla was injured, Teyla, who has been through labor herself, would know if the woman was having trouble. It was a stretch for me to accept that she would die that quickly without any warning. I also wondered, if they are swathed in darkness, how did the woman see Torren's picture?

[2bluaeryn]

OH WOW. that ending was beyond unexpected. Excellent job.