Sisyphus, by rhymer23 (Not Dead Yet challenge)

Mar 07, 2008 08:09

Title: Sisyphus
Author: Eildon Rhymer (rhymer23Rating: PG-13 ( Read more... )

author: rhymer23, challenge: not dead yet

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Comments 47

americanleaguer March 8 2008, 01:17:02 UTC
Ooo, this was crazy and good. Such a nasty trial, and of course John never gives in. And Reynardine with the red hair! Love the symbolism. Whatta trickster. :)

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rhymer23 March 8 2008, 15:26:59 UTC
Thanks! Reynardine strayed in from various folk tales - mostly from the traditional folk song "Reynardine", in which he's a handsome man who lures women to his doom, although more modern versions of the tale make him a magical fox-man spirit thing. I thought I'd just drop him in and see if anyone noticed. ;-)

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Sisyphus - story maxinemayer March 8 2008, 01:47:34 UTC
What a wonderful story! Bleak and frightening and terribly intense! Thank you for sharing.
Love, max

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Re: Sisyphus - story rhymer23 March 8 2008, 15:27:15 UTC
And thanks for reading! :-)

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khriskin March 8 2008, 20:48:43 UTC
I've been working my way backwards through the posts for this challenge and this one was just perfect! Great blend of last challenge and this one, even if it wasn't intentional. *sneaks treats your plotbunnies* ^_~ Kudos!

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rhymer23 March 9 2008, 14:23:31 UTC
Thanks! I was too busy posting a WIP to answer the last challenge, but clearly the ideas were working away in my subconscious, since as soon as I started to think about this challenge, they emerged. I love the way story ideas can develop even though you're not consciously thinking about them.

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sholio March 9 2008, 00:40:59 UTC
I really thought I reviewed this, but it looks like I just stashed it aside to review later. Um. Oops. Anyway, this is creepy and painful and good; I love how he keeps trying even if it kills him, and the ending is just great, including the breakdown that only his team is allowed to see (and I love how you described it that way, too; it's so much more powerful than if we'd gotten every detail).

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rhymer23 March 9 2008, 14:26:36 UTC
Thanks. Oh, that's good. I was worried about the "off camera" breakdown, and almost removed it, but it often happens that those things that I worry about most and almost delete end up being something that at least one reader comments on as particularly effective. It shows that as a writer one really should go with one's instinctive "first answer", and worry less.

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Wow linziday March 9 2008, 01:36:32 UTC
*Loved* this! Very intense, very cool. Great idea!

And this line was perfect: Not real? Of course it had been real, in all the ways that mattered.

Very nice job.

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Re: Wow rhymer23 March 9 2008, 14:21:54 UTC
Thanks! I was actually working on a totally different idea for the challenge, but this one struck me out of the blue and just wrote itself.

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