Amnesty Harlequin by Speranza
I think this is a personal best (worst?) for me--141k of flashfiction. I would say that this story is really weird, except actually, scarily, this story is really kind of typical for me. SGA seems to be the fandom where I feel like I should preface everything I write with an apology, and so--hey, I'm really sorry. Hope you enjoy it anyway
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Comments 286
That was fun--I like the way you make the military and physics jargon fit in naturally, so the dialogue feels real without being Astrophysics 101.
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You know, at a certain point, you go--in for a penny, in for a pound. Why the hell pull not, right?
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Seriously, this was incredibly hot, sweet, in character, and gack! incest! But somehow you made it work, and I was actually rooting for them to be really brothers in the end.
My hat's off to you, because I don't know how the heck you did that.
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Well, seriously, as I told seperis above, it was really supposed to be a Harlequin where a parent dies and the sexy guy shows up and he's the brother, and initially I thought I would do the plot where John's the army buddy of the real brother who's dead, so whew, but then I thought--hell, this is Atlantis, and so why not? And then I fell in love with the idea of John being raised by lesbian astrophysicists at CERN, and that's it, game over.
Still, I came this close to not finishing it, because-OMGWTF am I doing?? But astolat insisted, so...
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(and then I'll be back to squee at you;)
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You actually made them brothers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The only way I made it through this fic was because I knew in my heart/head they weren't really!!! Ahhhh!!!
Oh, who am I kidding? For you, I would read anything.
When the door burst open, and the men with the machine guns poured in, they were totally taken aback.
"Holy crap!" Rodney yelled. "Jesus!" and suddenly the air was full of corn chips and gunfire
Now see, this is where I get into serious trouble for kinda skimming the porny parts before reading them throughly. I thought they were still having sex when I saw this part and almost had a heart attack. I had to cover my mouth with my hands and whisper-scream "Ah! Ah!" until I could calm down enough to go back.
He looked around at them, the crumbled wall, the bag of corn chips, and said, "Whoa."
Perfect awesome Jack.
I spotted one typo: Rodney shot a glance at him over his shoulder. "Actually, it's isn't; the safe's interior has its own temperature controls ( ... )
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Er, yes, I did actually. I mean, what the hell: it wasn't like I had to pay extra to make them actually brothers. Meanwhile, you can thank astolat for the perfect awesome Jack: I wrote a line, and she said, "Too wordy," and I cut some, and she said, "Too wordy," and I said, "Whoa?" and she said, "Perfect." *g*
(Thank you for finding the typo! I fixed immediately!)
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Completely.
It keeps bouncing back and forth between "OMG SO HOT" and "OMG SO WRONG WRONG WRONG" and it WON'T stop. Except it kind of keeps lingering on hot. Which is wrong! Because insest was one of the few firm squicks I had left!
But, this is just so hot and so well put together I just can't help but adore it, truly and madly.
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Which, I think, is ultimately a testimony to the quality of your writing, that I could get so pulled into the story and the hotness and the snark that my discomfort with the concept pretty much short-circuited for a while.
Which is, I guess, my long-winded way of saying that yeah, I really liked the story, but I'm going to have to take the minority view here and say that actually, I wish it had turned out to be a mistake and they'd not been brothers after all.
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