Fic: Shopping Trip, part 1 of 3
Title: Shopping Trip
Author: Fig Newton (sg_fignewton)
Rating: PG
Pairing: none
Word Count: ~12,000
Summary: Jacob and Selmac take SG-1 on an off-world shopping trip. The results, naturally, are par for the course.
Warnings: none
Spoilers: Takes place immediately after the events of Seth, with occasional vague references to events in Seasons 1-2.
Disclaimer: None of them are mine. They all belong to their respective copyright holders.
Author's Note: Written for the sg1teamficathon for dknightshade, who wanted a moment of camaraderie between Daniel and Teal'c (in and amongst the teamy goodness), Jacob Carter, and a puzzle or mystery, and didn't want the Asgard, Jonas, or Jaffa Nation politics.
As always, thanks to randomfreshink for being the best beta reader ever and helping me find the right ending. Random, this story wouldn't be half as good without you!
This story is divided into three sections due to LJ posting constraints, not preference.
***
Shopping Trip
As the trap door swung back into place, three people rolled down the steep stone slide in a graceless tumble of flailing limbs. Pained grunts and muffled yells echoed in the clammy darkness.
They spilled into an open space and slid to an ungainly, bruising halt. The sudden rumble and thud suggested that the ramp had been neatly closed off, blocking any hope of escape. A numb silence settled over them, broken only by their panting breaths.
"Everyone okay?" Jack snapped.
"I'm all right, sir," Sam's voice replied, still a little breathless. "Dad?"
"I'm fine. We're fine." Jacob's tone was weighted with disgust.
There was a somewhat embarrassing scramble as the three of them untangled themselves as best as they could in the pitch blackness. Then Jacob's voice came again.
"I've got a light here. Hold on."
Sam and Jack clapped their hands over their eyes just in time to avoid the agony as a small, sharp beam of light suddenly stabbed through the dark. Jack squinted through his fingers and saw, to his annoyance, that Jacob's eyes had apparently already adjusted. Cheater.
He followed the sweep of the penlight as Jacob played it along the walls of their new prison. The room was perhaps six feet square, composed of blocks of roughly-hewed stone. At least they would have enough air to breathe for a while, as the ceiling was easily ten feet high. Getting out, though, was definitely going to be a problem. There was a smoother slab of rock that marked their entry point, and a second, similar slab almost directly opposite it; but there were no panels, no levers, not even a door handle. For the time being, the three of them were definitely trapped.
He winced as the light swung around to shine directly in his eyes. "Couldn't you have just stayed still, Colonel?" Jacob snapped.
"If certain people had mentioned that the place was boobytrapped, I might have!"
"You saw what Sefik did! The warnings here right there on the wall!"
"Would that be warnings written in Goa'uld, by any chance?" Jack batted the penlight away. "C'mon, Jacob. Teal'c and Daniel will get us out. How bad can this be?"
"How bad can this...?" Jacob's face twisted with frustration. "Colonel, it'll take an hour, maybe more, before Teal'c and Daniel get back. And they'll probably go back to the rooms, not the demonstration areas. They'll have no idea what happened to us!"
"And since you wouldn't let us take any equipment - including our radios - we can't call for help," Jack said sweetly. "I'm surprised Selmac let you get away with taking that penlight along."
"It's actually disguised as a - that's not the point!" Jacob's left hand clenched into a fist. "Of all the -" He stopped short and looked at Sam, clamping his teeth on his lower lip. "This is the most -" Once again, he bit the words back.
"Don't stop on my account, Dad," Sam said, her own teeth fixed in a forced smile. "It's not as if I haven't heard it all before. Or used it myself," she added pointedly.
"I doubt that," Selmac replied unexpectedly. "I find your planet's epithets to be sadly lacking in imagination."
Jack sat up, his interest piqued. "Oh, really?"
"To be fair, I have had hosts from many different cultures and planets, which allows me to refine my choices considerably." He paused for a moment, and a bemused look settled on Jacob's features. "Jacob's interest in expanding his vocabulary still surprises me," he said thoughtfully. "I will cede back control, if you would like to hear him exercise -"
"Daniel would never forgive us if we got to listen to a whole bunch of Tok'ra swear words without him," Jack said, brushing himself off. He gave Jacob his most wicked grin and settled more comfortably against the wall. "So let's have 'em."
A good round of cursing, he decided, would sum up the whole mess quite nicely.
* * *
The mission had first made Jack's hackles rise when Selmac and Jacob initially proposed it, three days ago. Slightly risky, he told them, but with the chance to get good intel. Hammond had been cautiously optimistic while Jacob explained, but Jack's instincts kept sniggering that nothing was ever that simple.
"Thoth isn't quite up to the status of the System Lords," Jacob began, "but he has carved a nice little niche for himself out there. For one thing, he can offer the other Goa'uld something they don't have: literate servants."
"Whoa!" Sam said, startled. "I know Ra outlawed reading and writing on Abydos, but I didn't know they all did that!"
"Most do, Captain Carter," Teal'c told her gravely. "I myself was not taught to read and write until after I came under Master Bra'tac's tutelage. On Chulak, only the priests and the more elite Jaffa are educated. Human slaves remain ignorant, with little chance to learn enough to rebel against their Goa'uld masters."
"So Thoth supplies them with scribes that can read?" Hammond frowned and turned to his resident mythology expert. "Doctor Jackson?"
"That makes sense," Daniel said, nodding. "Thoth, or Djeheuty, was a mediator and scholar. He was supposed to have created the first hieroglyphics, the solar calendar..." He paused. "The creator of magic. Huh."
"Abracadabra?" Jack suggested brightly.
Daniel shot him one of his best glares. Jack just shrugged.
"You think he might have invented some of the Goa'uld technology?" Sam asked, ignoring the byplay with the ease of long practice.
"It's hard to say," Daniel said judiciously. "We know they steal most of what they use, right?" He looked at Jacob for confirmation.
Jacob's head dipped, and Selmac replied. "Most of the technology used by the Goa'uld is cannibalized from other sources," he clarified. "It is, in fact, quite possible that their original functions were entirely different from how the Goa'uld use them. We do know that Thoth was responsible for refining much of the technology currently in use. He did quite a bit work for Ra on a personal basis, and he continues to modify current technology to this day."
"Does that mean we might find weapons or other cool stuff?" Jack leaned forward, seriously interested for the first time.
Selmac held up a warning hand. "This will be an undercover mission, Colonel," he stressed. "I know that the SG teams are accustomed to traveling in uniform, but you will need to be incognito for this trip - and to stay in character at all times. Consider this a fact-finding mission only, please. Perhaps the intelligence we gather will enable us to plan a raid at some future date."
Jack slumped back in his chair, disappointed.
Jacob's head bowed again, and Selmac withdrew. "Of course, we might actually find ourselves having to do a little actual shopping," Jacob added. "I doubt it, but it's always possible. It depends what's currently available. Let's look at it as a last resort."
"Do you mean we'd actually buy Thoth's latest doodad?" Jack sat up again. "A little lame, don't you think?"
"A lot expensive," Jacob corrected, making a face. "Thoth charges outrageously high prices. Payment is usually through a kind of letter of credit - a crystal, actually, which is impossible to forge. And quite frankly, the Tok'ra don't have all that much spare cash lying around."
"So if it's so impossible to forge, how can the Tok'ra have any?" Jack pressed. "I can't imagine you'd have your bills sent to your super-secret base address."
"Hm, not exactly." Jacob looked a bit uncomfortable for the first time. "On my last mission before coming to Earth, Selmac and I infiltrated one of Heru'ur's treasuries. We, ah, swiped a credit crystal."
"Why, Jacob!" Jack crowed, his face lighting up. "I didn't know you had it in you!"
Jacob gave him a look that Jack recognized from long experience with his daughter, only without the hint of respect that Sam had to include. "Think of it like a stolen credit card that hasn't been reported," he continued. "The chance of the actual loss being discovered is minute, but if we do use it, word will get back to Heru'ur pretty quickly. So yes, we'll have some credit along, but I'd rather not use it. Once we do, we'll be on the clock; we'll have to get off Thoth's planet in a hurry, before our cover is blown. Hopefully, we can get the information we want without actually having to pay for it."
"How do you plan to do that?" General Hammond asked, frowning.
Jacob retreated to allow Selmac to explain more fully. "Since the System Lords prefer to keep their own subjects ignorant, they come to Thoth to purchase slaves that can serve as scribes, or to have their personal favorites educated by the local instructors in reading, writing, or handling Goa'uld technology. This means that SG-1 can move around with relative freedom - as long as we don't attract undue attention to ourselves. Humans are sometimes searched without warning, so we must be sure that we carry nothing that suggests you are actually Tau'ri."
"Why?" Daniel wondered. "If Thoth is worried about infiltration, human slaves wouldn't be the ones carrying weapons or -"
"It's not something actually sanctioned by Thoth, Doctor Jackson," Selmac said. "It's Thoth's Jaffa, who see enough of the world outside their master's domain to resent the deference they are required to give to Thoth's scholars." He blinked for a moment, then added, "Jacob calls it 'petty payback.' I'm afraid that means that it is a completely random event, although unusual behavior might very well put us at greater risk. That is why I stress that it is imperative that your disguises be completely accurate."
"If we risk inspection, will not my tattoo put us in danger?" Teal'c asked calmly.
"You can play the part of a Jaffa, Teal'c," Selmac assured him. "I would pose as a low-level Goa'uld, accompanied by a single guard and several human slaves. You would have to wear full armor at all times, I'm afraid." A rueful smile twisted Jacob's lips. "The face of Teal'c, the sholva, is rather well known."
"And ours aren't?" Jack sounded a little insulted.
"Doctor Jackson's altered appearance is actually quite helpful," Selmac declared, causing Daniel to start in surprise. "With the short haircut, and without the glasses, he looks very different from any of the images that have circulated among the System Lords. It might be wise, perhaps, if Doctor Jackson serves as the main spokesman for the humans, to avoid drawing attention to the others."
"That will probably be necessary anyway," Sam said a little ruefully. "Neither the colonel nor I can speak Goa'uld."
"I imagine multiple languages are used on Thoth's planet," Daniel pointed out. "But if Selmac thinks I should take point..." He shrugged. "I don't have a problem with that. And it'll be interesting to see how Thoth trains his people."
Hammond narrowed his eyes in thought. "Let me get this straight, Selmac. You want to take SG-1 through the Stargate to a hostile planet, disguised as a Goa'uld with a Jaffa bodyguard and three human slaves? And without weapons or any other technology?"
"And with the possibility of being rumbled for credit card theft?" Jack added.
"Thoth encourages visitors, General Hammond," Selmac said. "He thrives on trade in scholarship, knowledge, human traffic, and upgraded technology. As long as we act the part, there should be very little risk. And Teal'c, at least, will be able to carry his staff weapon." He paused, then added, "I will also carry a ribbon device. And -" He stopped again and looked at Sam.
Sam swallowed, but lifted her chin. "I can use the hand device if it becomes necessary, General," she said steadily.
"So what do we get out of this whole mission, especially if we don't really plan to do any serious shopping?" asked Jack, drumming a restless tattoo on the table with a pencil. "And - no offense, Selmac - but what do you get out of it?"
Selmac's eyes flashed, but it was Jacob who replied. "It gives the SGC a little more intel on the state of things out there, Colonel. Thoth has a finger on the pulse of most of what's happening in the galaxy. This is a chance for a low-profile reconnaissance mission. As for what the Tok'ra get out of it... Two things, really. Officially, it's to give us a chance to infiltrate Thoth's workshops and see what he's currently offering. And it'll be pretty useful if Doctor Jackson can compare the various scripts Thoth uses to the languages here on Earth, so that we know what we can identify more easily in the future."
"And unofficially?" Hammond prompted.
Jacob grinned. "Unofficially? Selmac likes you guys. We've worked together here in the SGC, and we're worked together here on-world. We seem to make a pretty good team. Selmac wants a chance to play with you off-planet."
General Hammond couldn't quite hide his returning smile. "All right, SG-1," he said. "You have a go."
There was still some desultory arguing on Jack's part when Jacob supervised their preparations. No weapons, no radios, no tape recorders or cameras, no eyeglasses for Daniel - even ballpoint pens and spiral-bound notebooks were verboten. Daniel was permitted to wear contact lenses, which would hardly be noticed unless they actually fell out. GDOs were too dangerous, so they planned to go home via the Alpha Site, after some random planet-hopping to avoid leading Thoth to the base. Sam did manage to rig Jacob's ribbon device to deliver a one-time burst that would transmit their codes to get back to the SGC - just in case.
They selected simple, homespun robes from the racks of off-world clothing that the SGC had acquired over the years. Sam wasn't sure who was more embarrassed - herself or her father - when Selmac took over at one point and calmly instructed her not to wear her regular sports bra. And Jack nearly trashed the entire mission when Daniel took him aside to instruct him on the art of making secure loincloths out of cotton strips.
"You can't tell me that my boxers are a security risk!" he bellowed. "Exactly what kind of search techniques are you expecting, Jacob?"
"Grow up, Colonel," Jacob told him impatiently. "Daniel managed for months on Abydos. You can survive for a day or two. Are your Fruit of the Looms worth possibly compromising your team?"
Jack retreated into the showers, muttering imprecations under his breath.
Finally, they gathered in the Gateroom, waiting as the technician called off the chevrons. Teal'c, the only one properly armed, looked uncomfortable in his Horus guard armor, one of several that they'd retrieved from Hathor's stronghold after her death. Jacob had discarded his usual subdued Tok'ra outfit for something impractical and gaudy. And Sam, Jack, and Daniel couldn't help sneaking peeks at each other and snickering; the resemblance to the robes that they'd worn as Seth's disciples was uncanny, even if the quality of the fabric didn't match.
"So," Jack said conversationally, as they watched the fifth chevron lock into place, "Thoth invented 'magic,' huh?"
"Magic and philosophy," Daniel replied absently, "as well as -" He did a double-take and turned to stare at Jack. "You were listening?"
"I listen sometimes," Jack said, looking a little defensive. "Once a week, at least."
Sam rolled her eyes and placed a warning hand on Daniel's arm. "He just wants you to feed him the right line, Daniel," she cautioned him.
Daniel frowned at her, then groaned as understanding dawned. "Don't you dare, Jack," he growled.
"Of what do you speak?" Teal'c asked as the wormhole exploded outward. He prudently closed his helmet as they prepared to depart.
In reply, Jack gestured grandly at the now shimmering event horizon. "Let's go, people!" he sang out. He grinned cheekily at Sam and Daniel before adding triumphantly, "We're off to see the wizard!"
* * *
Thoth's Stargate was located in a vast, soaring atrium of red-veined marble and stained glass. Golden velvet ropes, looped through intricately carved crystal pillars, directed them towards the robed officials waiting for them. As they moved forward, a phlanged voice boomed over some kind of loudspeaker system. Jack glanced at Daniel, who gave a one-sided shrug and said quietly, "Basically, they asked someone named Potif to meet his party at the front desk."
Jack shook his head. If he ignored the typically grandiose Goa'uld décor, the glimpse of the greenish sun hovering overhead, and the Jaffa guards serving as low-key security, the resemblance to an airport was downright eerie.
They had to undergo a formal processing procedure, which had Jack muttering under his breath about "passport lines" and the universal constant of bureaucracy. Selmac identified himself as an agent of Heru'ur, sent to examine Thoth's latest upgrades in technology. Jacob was treated with fawning deference; Teal'c, menacingly anonymous in the Horus guard armor that lent credence to Selmac's claim, got wary respect. Sam, Jack, and Daniel, however, were a little discomfited to find themselves addressed as if they were rather slow-witted five-year-olds.
"You'll have to prove yourselves," Jacob muttered as they followed an overdressed official through an elegant hallway, decorated with mosaics of crystal and semi-precious stones. "As soon as they see that you're not completely ignorant, they'll address you more or less as equals."
"At least English is in use here," Jack muttered back. Before that detail had been confirmed, he'd been worried that he and Sam were going to have to muzzle themselves for the duration in order to avoid giving themselves away.
Without looking, he reached out an arm and snagged Daniel's sleeve in passing, pulling him away from the mural he'd been studying with reverent fingers.
"But I was just going to -" Daniel protested.
"Daniel," Jack said warningly.
"Jack!"
"Daniel."
Daniel sighed and swung back into position. "Okay, okay," he groused.
Once they had settled in the rooms allocated for them - opulent and gaudy for Jacob, and plain and non-descript for the others - they split up into groups for the remainder of the day. They had some six hours before nightfall to see what they could accomplish.
That evening, they gathered in Jacob's room to pool information - and food - and discuss what to do next. Daniel had procured a tangy meat concoction wrapped in leaves; Teal'c had stopped by the local barracks and obtained some rather tasty flatbreads from his fellow Jaffa warriors. Jack had snagged a half-dozen apples - or, at least, the local equivalent, which were grapefruit-sized and slightly purple. Sam contributed a cloth sack filled with roasted, sweetened grains, and Jacob waved a tired hand at the eight crystal bottles of wine that he'd been given over the course of the day.
"No one is going to offer a Goa'uld real food," Jacob grumbled as he stirred the roasted grains with a curious finger. "No one dares, just in case it's considered insulting - or an attempted poisoning. Don't ask me what they expect us to eat."
"Too bad," Jack mumbled around a mouthful of flatbread. He swallowed and eyed Daniel's offering. "The leaves are edible?"
"It's the local version of dolmodes," Daniel said patiently. "Very popular in Greece, as well as other Mediterranean cultures."
"I know what stuffed grape leaves are, Daniel," Jack retorted. "But those aren't grape leaves. Are you sure they're okay?"
"Yes, Jack."
"I find them to be adequate," Teal'c announced blandly, even as he snagged a third helping.
Daniel picked up one of the flatbreads and examined it. "Very finely ground," he muttered. "If this was done by hand, it was intended for a special occasion." He looked up at Teal'c. "You say you got this from the local Jaffa?"
"Indeed I did."
"No rivalry, then?"
"Not here, Daniel Jackson. It is true that a meeting with these same Jaffa on a different planet would most likely lead to bloodshed. Here on Thoth's homeworld, however, all Jaffa are neutral." Teal'c paused, then added, "Unless, of course, someone offers violence. I believe it has happened twice in the last six decades."
"What happened?" asked Sam, who was deftly peeling one of the purplish apples.
Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "The Goa'uld and Jaffa in question were slaughtered by every other warrior in sight. No one wishes to lose the advantages of Thoth's neutrality and the services he offers."
Jack looked thoughtful. "So, if we were to kinda sorta start some trouble and blame the other guy...?"
"Not wise," Selmac said flatly. "It would draw attention to us."
"And that's the last thing we can afford. I know," Jack sighed, nibbling at one of Daniel's dolmodes. "It was just an idea."
As they ate, they reviewed the events of the day. Jacob and Daniel had headed for the language workshops, where Selmac had hoped that Daniel's acumen could pick up some watercooler Goa'uld gossip. Daniel had been quite excited to discover that out of fourteen different distinct scripts, only two of them were unrecognizable as being evolved from Earth. Sam couldn't decide if he was pleased at how many he could identify, or happy to find two completely new languages.
"I was worried that Daniel was going to come across as too knowledgeable," Jacob admitted at one point, "but he did an excellent job of mangling the spoken languages. The scholars here accepted him as a sort of prodigy without being overly suspicious. In fact, a few of the more senior teachers seem to have adopted him in their efforts to train him properly, and we were able to pick up some decent intel we might have otherwise missed." He gave Daniel a nod of approval.
"That must've been hard," Sam said, looking at Daniel with sympathy. "For you to act like you can't speak a language..."
"Ummm." Daniel shifted a little uneasily in his chair. "I wasn't, uh, exactly pretending."
"What do you mean?"
Daniel's attention was suddenly very focused on the handful of grains he'd been snacking. "You can't expect the spoken language not to drift," he said defensively. "The written languages, at least, tend to follow the same rules. It doesn't matter if I'm not pronouncing it the same way they are."
"Like how Sha're taught you how to speak Abydon," Jack suggested blandly.
"Um. Yes."
"Only without the vibes," Jack added, one corner on his mouth curling into a smirk. "At least, I hope not - how old were these senior teachers, exactly? And how many of them were female?"
Selmac overrode Jacob, his expression one of surprise. "Doctor Jackson, are you saying that you really cannot speak those languages?"
"I can speak the Earth versions!" Daniel glared at Jack, whose expression was speaking volumes. "And the more I hear the people here speaking, the more I can correct my pronounci - shut up, Jack!"
"I didn't say anything," Jack protested, blinking innocently.
"You were looking it!"
"O'Neill." Teal'c's voice easily overrode the squabbling. "Perhaps you could tell General Carter about the new technology you saw today."
Daniel shot Teal'c a grateful look as Jack rolled his eyes one last time before allowing the topic of conversation to shift. During the course of the day, Teal'c had served as Jaffa supervisor for his master's "slaves" as they studied some of the newer technologies that Thoth was peddling to his customers. The military applications had left Jack uneasy and intrigued in turns; Sam had simply been itching for the opportunity to do a little up-and-close examination, with an eye for possibly doing a little back-engineering of her own.
"They wouldn't let me actually handle the equipment, though," she said moodily, slicing her apple with a little too much emphasis. "The supervisor was perfectly happy to demonstrate, but I couldn't get close enough to touch anything." She hesitated. "Actually, I was afraid to get too close, even if he had been willing to let me handle anything. I think the supervisor was actually a Jaffa. I was worried that he might sense the protein marker." Her expression grew pinched at the reminder of just how different she'd really become.
"Sefik was indeed a Jaffa, Captain Carter," Teal'c said gravely. "That is why I made sure to remain close to you at all times. If he did sense anything, he would have assumed it was my symbiote."
"Maybe I should go with you tomorrow," Jacob suggested. "We can go back there and take a closer look. He might have been reluctant to allow a mere, ah, 'slave' to test his new products, but I'd be a serious customer. You can stick close to me. Between what you've picked up over the last couple of years and Selmac's knowledge, we ought to get a clear idea of what's involved."
"I'm supposed to show up tomorrow for that lecture on Ancient Greek," Daniel protested, pointing to his dolmodes as proof. Then he amended conscientiously, "Well, on 'Artolisos.' But it's essentially Ancient Greek, only with several thousand years of linguistic drift."
"I can accompany Daniel Jackson tomorrow," Teal'c offered.
"I'll come, too," Jack announced, a little too enthusiastically for Daniel's taste.
"I am not going to provide you with fodder for whatever you're thinking about, Jack, so you can -"
"I'd rather you came with us, sir," Sam said diplomatically. "Dad's going to have to keep up the arrogant and aloof act, but the two of us would be able to actually discuss things. I'm not sure why you insisted that the cloaking device was more important than the improved shielding..."
"Ah, ah, ah! Save it, Carter!" Jack waggled a stern finger, the effect slightly spoiled by the smear of sauce from his dolmodes. "I'll come with you tomorrow, and you can talk tech at me as much as you want when the time comes, okay?"
"Yes, sir," Sam said politely, swallowing her grin at the fervent "Thank you!" that Daniel mouthed behind Jack's back.
They kept watches that night, but no one disturbed them. In the morning, they agreed upon a time to meet for lunch, then separated to follow the day's agenda. Once again, the hours passed quietly and productively, but Jack couldn't the shake the feeling that they were due to have a spectacular disaster at any moment.
Continued in part 2 and part 3.
Author: Fig Newton (sg_fignewton)
Rating: PG
Pairing: none
Word Count: ~12,000
Summary: Jacob and Selmac take SG-1 on an off-world shopping trip. The results, naturally, are par for the course.
Warnings: none
Spoilers: Takes place immediately after the events of Seth, with occasional vague references to events in Seasons 1-2.
Disclaimer: None of them are mine. They all belong to their respective copyright holders.
Author's Note: Written for the sg1teamficathon for dknightshade, who wanted a moment of camaraderie between Daniel and Teal'c (in and amongst the teamy goodness), Jacob Carter, and a puzzle or mystery, and didn't want the Asgard, Jonas, or Jaffa Nation politics.
As always, thanks to randomfreshink for being the best beta reader ever and helping me find the right ending. Random, this story wouldn't be half as good without you!
This story is divided into three sections due to LJ posting constraints, not preference.
***
Shopping Trip
As the trap door swung back into place, three people rolled down the steep stone slide in a graceless tumble of flailing limbs. Pained grunts and muffled yells echoed in the clammy darkness.
They spilled into an open space and slid to an ungainly, bruising halt. The sudden rumble and thud suggested that the ramp had been neatly closed off, blocking any hope of escape. A numb silence settled over them, broken only by their panting breaths.
"Everyone okay?" Jack snapped.
"I'm all right, sir," Sam's voice replied, still a little breathless. "Dad?"
"I'm fine. We're fine." Jacob's tone was weighted with disgust.
There was a somewhat embarrassing scramble as the three of them untangled themselves as best as they could in the pitch blackness. Then Jacob's voice came again.
"I've got a light here. Hold on."
Sam and Jack clapped their hands over their eyes just in time to avoid the agony as a small, sharp beam of light suddenly stabbed through the dark. Jack squinted through his fingers and saw, to his annoyance, that Jacob's eyes had apparently already adjusted. Cheater.
He followed the sweep of the penlight as Jacob played it along the walls of their new prison. The room was perhaps six feet square, composed of blocks of roughly-hewed stone. At least they would have enough air to breathe for a while, as the ceiling was easily ten feet high. Getting out, though, was definitely going to be a problem. There was a smoother slab of rock that marked their entry point, and a second, similar slab almost directly opposite it; but there were no panels, no levers, not even a door handle. For the time being, the three of them were definitely trapped.
He winced as the light swung around to shine directly in his eyes. "Couldn't you have just stayed still, Colonel?" Jacob snapped.
"If certain people had mentioned that the place was boobytrapped, I might have!"
"You saw what Sefik did! The warnings here right there on the wall!"
"Would that be warnings written in Goa'uld, by any chance?" Jack batted the penlight away. "C'mon, Jacob. Teal'c and Daniel will get us out. How bad can this be?"
"How bad can this...?" Jacob's face twisted with frustration. "Colonel, it'll take an hour, maybe more, before Teal'c and Daniel get back. And they'll probably go back to the rooms, not the demonstration areas. They'll have no idea what happened to us!"
"And since you wouldn't let us take any equipment - including our radios - we can't call for help," Jack said sweetly. "I'm surprised Selmac let you get away with taking that penlight along."
"It's actually disguised as a - that's not the point!" Jacob's left hand clenched into a fist. "Of all the -" He stopped short and looked at Sam, clamping his teeth on his lower lip. "This is the most -" Once again, he bit the words back.
"Don't stop on my account, Dad," Sam said, her own teeth fixed in a forced smile. "It's not as if I haven't heard it all before. Or used it myself," she added pointedly.
"I doubt that," Selmac replied unexpectedly. "I find your planet's epithets to be sadly lacking in imagination."
Jack sat up, his interest piqued. "Oh, really?"
"To be fair, I have had hosts from many different cultures and planets, which allows me to refine my choices considerably." He paused for a moment, and a bemused look settled on Jacob's features. "Jacob's interest in expanding his vocabulary still surprises me," he said thoughtfully. "I will cede back control, if you would like to hear him exercise -"
"Daniel would never forgive us if we got to listen to a whole bunch of Tok'ra swear words without him," Jack said, brushing himself off. He gave Jacob his most wicked grin and settled more comfortably against the wall. "So let's have 'em."
A good round of cursing, he decided, would sum up the whole mess quite nicely.
* * *
The mission had first made Jack's hackles rise when Selmac and Jacob initially proposed it, three days ago. Slightly risky, he told them, but with the chance to get good intel. Hammond had been cautiously optimistic while Jacob explained, but Jack's instincts kept sniggering that nothing was ever that simple.
"Thoth isn't quite up to the status of the System Lords," Jacob began, "but he has carved a nice little niche for himself out there. For one thing, he can offer the other Goa'uld something they don't have: literate servants."
"Whoa!" Sam said, startled. "I know Ra outlawed reading and writing on Abydos, but I didn't know they all did that!"
"Most do, Captain Carter," Teal'c told her gravely. "I myself was not taught to read and write until after I came under Master Bra'tac's tutelage. On Chulak, only the priests and the more elite Jaffa are educated. Human slaves remain ignorant, with little chance to learn enough to rebel against their Goa'uld masters."
"So Thoth supplies them with scribes that can read?" Hammond frowned and turned to his resident mythology expert. "Doctor Jackson?"
"That makes sense," Daniel said, nodding. "Thoth, or Djeheuty, was a mediator and scholar. He was supposed to have created the first hieroglyphics, the solar calendar..." He paused. "The creator of magic. Huh."
"Abracadabra?" Jack suggested brightly.
Daniel shot him one of his best glares. Jack just shrugged.
"You think he might have invented some of the Goa'uld technology?" Sam asked, ignoring the byplay with the ease of long practice.
"It's hard to say," Daniel said judiciously. "We know they steal most of what they use, right?" He looked at Jacob for confirmation.
Jacob's head dipped, and Selmac replied. "Most of the technology used by the Goa'uld is cannibalized from other sources," he clarified. "It is, in fact, quite possible that their original functions were entirely different from how the Goa'uld use them. We do know that Thoth was responsible for refining much of the technology currently in use. He did quite a bit work for Ra on a personal basis, and he continues to modify current technology to this day."
"Does that mean we might find weapons or other cool stuff?" Jack leaned forward, seriously interested for the first time.
Selmac held up a warning hand. "This will be an undercover mission, Colonel," he stressed. "I know that the SG teams are accustomed to traveling in uniform, but you will need to be incognito for this trip - and to stay in character at all times. Consider this a fact-finding mission only, please. Perhaps the intelligence we gather will enable us to plan a raid at some future date."
Jack slumped back in his chair, disappointed.
Jacob's head bowed again, and Selmac withdrew. "Of course, we might actually find ourselves having to do a little actual shopping," Jacob added. "I doubt it, but it's always possible. It depends what's currently available. Let's look at it as a last resort."
"Do you mean we'd actually buy Thoth's latest doodad?" Jack sat up again. "A little lame, don't you think?"
"A lot expensive," Jacob corrected, making a face. "Thoth charges outrageously high prices. Payment is usually through a kind of letter of credit - a crystal, actually, which is impossible to forge. And quite frankly, the Tok'ra don't have all that much spare cash lying around."
"So if it's so impossible to forge, how can the Tok'ra have any?" Jack pressed. "I can't imagine you'd have your bills sent to your super-secret base address."
"Hm, not exactly." Jacob looked a bit uncomfortable for the first time. "On my last mission before coming to Earth, Selmac and I infiltrated one of Heru'ur's treasuries. We, ah, swiped a credit crystal."
"Why, Jacob!" Jack crowed, his face lighting up. "I didn't know you had it in you!"
Jacob gave him a look that Jack recognized from long experience with his daughter, only without the hint of respect that Sam had to include. "Think of it like a stolen credit card that hasn't been reported," he continued. "The chance of the actual loss being discovered is minute, but if we do use it, word will get back to Heru'ur pretty quickly. So yes, we'll have some credit along, but I'd rather not use it. Once we do, we'll be on the clock; we'll have to get off Thoth's planet in a hurry, before our cover is blown. Hopefully, we can get the information we want without actually having to pay for it."
"How do you plan to do that?" General Hammond asked, frowning.
Jacob retreated to allow Selmac to explain more fully. "Since the System Lords prefer to keep their own subjects ignorant, they come to Thoth to purchase slaves that can serve as scribes, or to have their personal favorites educated by the local instructors in reading, writing, or handling Goa'uld technology. This means that SG-1 can move around with relative freedom - as long as we don't attract undue attention to ourselves. Humans are sometimes searched without warning, so we must be sure that we carry nothing that suggests you are actually Tau'ri."
"Why?" Daniel wondered. "If Thoth is worried about infiltration, human slaves wouldn't be the ones carrying weapons or -"
"It's not something actually sanctioned by Thoth, Doctor Jackson," Selmac said. "It's Thoth's Jaffa, who see enough of the world outside their master's domain to resent the deference they are required to give to Thoth's scholars." He blinked for a moment, then added, "Jacob calls it 'petty payback.' I'm afraid that means that it is a completely random event, although unusual behavior might very well put us at greater risk. That is why I stress that it is imperative that your disguises be completely accurate."
"If we risk inspection, will not my tattoo put us in danger?" Teal'c asked calmly.
"You can play the part of a Jaffa, Teal'c," Selmac assured him. "I would pose as a low-level Goa'uld, accompanied by a single guard and several human slaves. You would have to wear full armor at all times, I'm afraid." A rueful smile twisted Jacob's lips. "The face of Teal'c, the sholva, is rather well known."
"And ours aren't?" Jack sounded a little insulted.
"Doctor Jackson's altered appearance is actually quite helpful," Selmac declared, causing Daniel to start in surprise. "With the short haircut, and without the glasses, he looks very different from any of the images that have circulated among the System Lords. It might be wise, perhaps, if Doctor Jackson serves as the main spokesman for the humans, to avoid drawing attention to the others."
"That will probably be necessary anyway," Sam said a little ruefully. "Neither the colonel nor I can speak Goa'uld."
"I imagine multiple languages are used on Thoth's planet," Daniel pointed out. "But if Selmac thinks I should take point..." He shrugged. "I don't have a problem with that. And it'll be interesting to see how Thoth trains his people."
Hammond narrowed his eyes in thought. "Let me get this straight, Selmac. You want to take SG-1 through the Stargate to a hostile planet, disguised as a Goa'uld with a Jaffa bodyguard and three human slaves? And without weapons or any other technology?"
"And with the possibility of being rumbled for credit card theft?" Jack added.
"Thoth encourages visitors, General Hammond," Selmac said. "He thrives on trade in scholarship, knowledge, human traffic, and upgraded technology. As long as we act the part, there should be very little risk. And Teal'c, at least, will be able to carry his staff weapon." He paused, then added, "I will also carry a ribbon device. And -" He stopped again and looked at Sam.
Sam swallowed, but lifted her chin. "I can use the hand device if it becomes necessary, General," she said steadily.
"So what do we get out of this whole mission, especially if we don't really plan to do any serious shopping?" asked Jack, drumming a restless tattoo on the table with a pencil. "And - no offense, Selmac - but what do you get out of it?"
Selmac's eyes flashed, but it was Jacob who replied. "It gives the SGC a little more intel on the state of things out there, Colonel. Thoth has a finger on the pulse of most of what's happening in the galaxy. This is a chance for a low-profile reconnaissance mission. As for what the Tok'ra get out of it... Two things, really. Officially, it's to give us a chance to infiltrate Thoth's workshops and see what he's currently offering. And it'll be pretty useful if Doctor Jackson can compare the various scripts Thoth uses to the languages here on Earth, so that we know what we can identify more easily in the future."
"And unofficially?" Hammond prompted.
Jacob grinned. "Unofficially? Selmac likes you guys. We've worked together here in the SGC, and we're worked together here on-world. We seem to make a pretty good team. Selmac wants a chance to play with you off-planet."
General Hammond couldn't quite hide his returning smile. "All right, SG-1," he said. "You have a go."
There was still some desultory arguing on Jack's part when Jacob supervised their preparations. No weapons, no radios, no tape recorders or cameras, no eyeglasses for Daniel - even ballpoint pens and spiral-bound notebooks were verboten. Daniel was permitted to wear contact lenses, which would hardly be noticed unless they actually fell out. GDOs were too dangerous, so they planned to go home via the Alpha Site, after some random planet-hopping to avoid leading Thoth to the base. Sam did manage to rig Jacob's ribbon device to deliver a one-time burst that would transmit their codes to get back to the SGC - just in case.
They selected simple, homespun robes from the racks of off-world clothing that the SGC had acquired over the years. Sam wasn't sure who was more embarrassed - herself or her father - when Selmac took over at one point and calmly instructed her not to wear her regular sports bra. And Jack nearly trashed the entire mission when Daniel took him aside to instruct him on the art of making secure loincloths out of cotton strips.
"You can't tell me that my boxers are a security risk!" he bellowed. "Exactly what kind of search techniques are you expecting, Jacob?"
"Grow up, Colonel," Jacob told him impatiently. "Daniel managed for months on Abydos. You can survive for a day or two. Are your Fruit of the Looms worth possibly compromising your team?"
Jack retreated into the showers, muttering imprecations under his breath.
Finally, they gathered in the Gateroom, waiting as the technician called off the chevrons. Teal'c, the only one properly armed, looked uncomfortable in his Horus guard armor, one of several that they'd retrieved from Hathor's stronghold after her death. Jacob had discarded his usual subdued Tok'ra outfit for something impractical and gaudy. And Sam, Jack, and Daniel couldn't help sneaking peeks at each other and snickering; the resemblance to the robes that they'd worn as Seth's disciples was uncanny, even if the quality of the fabric didn't match.
"So," Jack said conversationally, as they watched the fifth chevron lock into place, "Thoth invented 'magic,' huh?"
"Magic and philosophy," Daniel replied absently, "as well as -" He did a double-take and turned to stare at Jack. "You were listening?"
"I listen sometimes," Jack said, looking a little defensive. "Once a week, at least."
Sam rolled her eyes and placed a warning hand on Daniel's arm. "He just wants you to feed him the right line, Daniel," she cautioned him.
Daniel frowned at her, then groaned as understanding dawned. "Don't you dare, Jack," he growled.
"Of what do you speak?" Teal'c asked as the wormhole exploded outward. He prudently closed his helmet as they prepared to depart.
In reply, Jack gestured grandly at the now shimmering event horizon. "Let's go, people!" he sang out. He grinned cheekily at Sam and Daniel before adding triumphantly, "We're off to see the wizard!"
* * *
Thoth's Stargate was located in a vast, soaring atrium of red-veined marble and stained glass. Golden velvet ropes, looped through intricately carved crystal pillars, directed them towards the robed officials waiting for them. As they moved forward, a phlanged voice boomed over some kind of loudspeaker system. Jack glanced at Daniel, who gave a one-sided shrug and said quietly, "Basically, they asked someone named Potif to meet his party at the front desk."
Jack shook his head. If he ignored the typically grandiose Goa'uld décor, the glimpse of the greenish sun hovering overhead, and the Jaffa guards serving as low-key security, the resemblance to an airport was downright eerie.
They had to undergo a formal processing procedure, which had Jack muttering under his breath about "passport lines" and the universal constant of bureaucracy. Selmac identified himself as an agent of Heru'ur, sent to examine Thoth's latest upgrades in technology. Jacob was treated with fawning deference; Teal'c, menacingly anonymous in the Horus guard armor that lent credence to Selmac's claim, got wary respect. Sam, Jack, and Daniel, however, were a little discomfited to find themselves addressed as if they were rather slow-witted five-year-olds.
"You'll have to prove yourselves," Jacob muttered as they followed an overdressed official through an elegant hallway, decorated with mosaics of crystal and semi-precious stones. "As soon as they see that you're not completely ignorant, they'll address you more or less as equals."
"At least English is in use here," Jack muttered back. Before that detail had been confirmed, he'd been worried that he and Sam were going to have to muzzle themselves for the duration in order to avoid giving themselves away.
Without looking, he reached out an arm and snagged Daniel's sleeve in passing, pulling him away from the mural he'd been studying with reverent fingers.
"But I was just going to -" Daniel protested.
"Daniel," Jack said warningly.
"Jack!"
"Daniel."
Daniel sighed and swung back into position. "Okay, okay," he groused.
Once they had settled in the rooms allocated for them - opulent and gaudy for Jacob, and plain and non-descript for the others - they split up into groups for the remainder of the day. They had some six hours before nightfall to see what they could accomplish.
That evening, they gathered in Jacob's room to pool information - and food - and discuss what to do next. Daniel had procured a tangy meat concoction wrapped in leaves; Teal'c had stopped by the local barracks and obtained some rather tasty flatbreads from his fellow Jaffa warriors. Jack had snagged a half-dozen apples - or, at least, the local equivalent, which were grapefruit-sized and slightly purple. Sam contributed a cloth sack filled with roasted, sweetened grains, and Jacob waved a tired hand at the eight crystal bottles of wine that he'd been given over the course of the day.
"No one is going to offer a Goa'uld real food," Jacob grumbled as he stirred the roasted grains with a curious finger. "No one dares, just in case it's considered insulting - or an attempted poisoning. Don't ask me what they expect us to eat."
"Too bad," Jack mumbled around a mouthful of flatbread. He swallowed and eyed Daniel's offering. "The leaves are edible?"
"It's the local version of dolmodes," Daniel said patiently. "Very popular in Greece, as well as other Mediterranean cultures."
"I know what stuffed grape leaves are, Daniel," Jack retorted. "But those aren't grape leaves. Are you sure they're okay?"
"Yes, Jack."
"I find them to be adequate," Teal'c announced blandly, even as he snagged a third helping.
Daniel picked up one of the flatbreads and examined it. "Very finely ground," he muttered. "If this was done by hand, it was intended for a special occasion." He looked up at Teal'c. "You say you got this from the local Jaffa?"
"Indeed I did."
"No rivalry, then?"
"Not here, Daniel Jackson. It is true that a meeting with these same Jaffa on a different planet would most likely lead to bloodshed. Here on Thoth's homeworld, however, all Jaffa are neutral." Teal'c paused, then added, "Unless, of course, someone offers violence. I believe it has happened twice in the last six decades."
"What happened?" asked Sam, who was deftly peeling one of the purplish apples.
Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "The Goa'uld and Jaffa in question were slaughtered by every other warrior in sight. No one wishes to lose the advantages of Thoth's neutrality and the services he offers."
Jack looked thoughtful. "So, if we were to kinda sorta start some trouble and blame the other guy...?"
"Not wise," Selmac said flatly. "It would draw attention to us."
"And that's the last thing we can afford. I know," Jack sighed, nibbling at one of Daniel's dolmodes. "It was just an idea."
As they ate, they reviewed the events of the day. Jacob and Daniel had headed for the language workshops, where Selmac had hoped that Daniel's acumen could pick up some watercooler Goa'uld gossip. Daniel had been quite excited to discover that out of fourteen different distinct scripts, only two of them were unrecognizable as being evolved from Earth. Sam couldn't decide if he was pleased at how many he could identify, or happy to find two completely new languages.
"I was worried that Daniel was going to come across as too knowledgeable," Jacob admitted at one point, "but he did an excellent job of mangling the spoken languages. The scholars here accepted him as a sort of prodigy without being overly suspicious. In fact, a few of the more senior teachers seem to have adopted him in their efforts to train him properly, and we were able to pick up some decent intel we might have otherwise missed." He gave Daniel a nod of approval.
"That must've been hard," Sam said, looking at Daniel with sympathy. "For you to act like you can't speak a language..."
"Ummm." Daniel shifted a little uneasily in his chair. "I wasn't, uh, exactly pretending."
"What do you mean?"
Daniel's attention was suddenly very focused on the handful of grains he'd been snacking. "You can't expect the spoken language not to drift," he said defensively. "The written languages, at least, tend to follow the same rules. It doesn't matter if I'm not pronouncing it the same way they are."
"Like how Sha're taught you how to speak Abydon," Jack suggested blandly.
"Um. Yes."
"Only without the vibes," Jack added, one corner on his mouth curling into a smirk. "At least, I hope not - how old were these senior teachers, exactly? And how many of them were female?"
Selmac overrode Jacob, his expression one of surprise. "Doctor Jackson, are you saying that you really cannot speak those languages?"
"I can speak the Earth versions!" Daniel glared at Jack, whose expression was speaking volumes. "And the more I hear the people here speaking, the more I can correct my pronounci - shut up, Jack!"
"I didn't say anything," Jack protested, blinking innocently.
"You were looking it!"
"O'Neill." Teal'c's voice easily overrode the squabbling. "Perhaps you could tell General Carter about the new technology you saw today."
Daniel shot Teal'c a grateful look as Jack rolled his eyes one last time before allowing the topic of conversation to shift. During the course of the day, Teal'c had served as Jaffa supervisor for his master's "slaves" as they studied some of the newer technologies that Thoth was peddling to his customers. The military applications had left Jack uneasy and intrigued in turns; Sam had simply been itching for the opportunity to do a little up-and-close examination, with an eye for possibly doing a little back-engineering of her own.
"They wouldn't let me actually handle the equipment, though," she said moodily, slicing her apple with a little too much emphasis. "The supervisor was perfectly happy to demonstrate, but I couldn't get close enough to touch anything." She hesitated. "Actually, I was afraid to get too close, even if he had been willing to let me handle anything. I think the supervisor was actually a Jaffa. I was worried that he might sense the protein marker." Her expression grew pinched at the reminder of just how different she'd really become.
"Sefik was indeed a Jaffa, Captain Carter," Teal'c said gravely. "That is why I made sure to remain close to you at all times. If he did sense anything, he would have assumed it was my symbiote."
"Maybe I should go with you tomorrow," Jacob suggested. "We can go back there and take a closer look. He might have been reluctant to allow a mere, ah, 'slave' to test his new products, but I'd be a serious customer. You can stick close to me. Between what you've picked up over the last couple of years and Selmac's knowledge, we ought to get a clear idea of what's involved."
"I'm supposed to show up tomorrow for that lecture on Ancient Greek," Daniel protested, pointing to his dolmodes as proof. Then he amended conscientiously, "Well, on 'Artolisos.' But it's essentially Ancient Greek, only with several thousand years of linguistic drift."
"I can accompany Daniel Jackson tomorrow," Teal'c offered.
"I'll come, too," Jack announced, a little too enthusiastically for Daniel's taste.
"I am not going to provide you with fodder for whatever you're thinking about, Jack, so you can -"
"I'd rather you came with us, sir," Sam said diplomatically. "Dad's going to have to keep up the arrogant and aloof act, but the two of us would be able to actually discuss things. I'm not sure why you insisted that the cloaking device was more important than the improved shielding..."
"Ah, ah, ah! Save it, Carter!" Jack waggled a stern finger, the effect slightly spoiled by the smear of sauce from his dolmodes. "I'll come with you tomorrow, and you can talk tech at me as much as you want when the time comes, okay?"
"Yes, sir," Sam said politely, swallowing her grin at the fervent "Thank you!" that Daniel mouthed behind Jack's back.
They kept watches that night, but no one disturbed them. In the morning, they agreed upon a time to meet for lunch, then separated to follow the day's agenda. Once again, the hours passed quietly and productively, but Jack couldn't the shake the feeling that they were due to have a spectacular disaster at any moment.
Continued in part 2 and part 3.