Fifty Credits on the Wookiee (G)
I wanted to squeeze in at least one more fic this year, so here's another entry for my bingo card. The central square is marked Wild Card. Technically, you're supposed to be able to swap it with another square on your card. I chose to take it literally. :)
When Jack introduces Teal'c to Star Wars, he never imagines how obsessed his friend will become. Set immediately after 1969 with a few vague spoilers. ~1,400 words. Rated G.
Fifty Credits on the Wookiee
Jack groaned when Teal'c hit the pause button so quickly. "C'mon, it hasn't even started yet!" he protested, reaching for the remote.
Teal'c only settled back, his iron grip on the remote daring Jack to even try. "Those are the words you and Daniel Jackson used when we convinced Michael and Jenny that we were aliens," he observed.
"Yeah," Jack said, grinning. "I told you this is classic stuff, Teal'c. Trust me, you're gonna love it."
Teal'c's eyebrow looked a little skeptical, but he allowed the movie to resume. Jack's grin grew even wider as the first triumphant burst of the timeless score erupted from the speakers.
This was going to be good.
He was still a little embarrassed that it had taken Teal'c's question regarding Jack's two choices of pseudonyms, back in 1969, for him to realize that when he set out to educate Teal'c in the classics, he'd missed out on Star Wars. They'd covered The Wizard of Oz first, of course, and Jack had introduced Teal'c to many of the old-time classics, ranging from the original King Kong and Citizen Kane to North by Northwest and Casablanca. He'd included Rocky and Die Hard and other more modern films, too - he'd been pleased at Teal'c's enjoyment of The Princess Bride in particular. The hours that the two of them had spent in front of the TV screen in his home, debating the cultural significance of Clint Eastwood, Ginger Rogers, and Errol Flynn, were memories to be savored, even if Teal'c kept making dry comments about his inability to fix the annoyingly blinking 12:00 on his VCR.
But somehow, he'd never rented Star Wars.
The omission was remedied easily enough. He'd planned on introducing Teal'c to Marty McFly, thinking he might enjoy Back to the Future after their little temporal jaunt, but that could wait until another occasion. Jack got permission to take Teal'c out of the mountain, then stopped at the local Blockbusters to rent the Star Wars trilogy. If they were going to do this, they might as well make a marathon out of it. Another quick pit stop for beer, energy drinks, and munchies covered the rest of the essentials.
Now Jack watched Teal'c watching the words scroll up the screen, his gaze focused in the mental effort to read English quickly enough to avoid having to pause the movie again. He wasn't entirely certain how his Jaffa friend would react to the concept of the Force - his rejection of Goa'uld falsehoods of divine magic tended to leave him overwhelmingly skeptical of any supernatural claims these days - but he knew, without a doubt, that Teal'c would love the idea of a brave minority battling against an evil Empire.
Unsurprisingly, Jack was absolutely right.
He dozed off sometime around 3 a.m., while Teal'c was patiently rewinding the first movie back to the beginning so he could watch it all over again. Teal'c considerately used headphones for his rewatch, although Jack found himself opening a sleepy eye on occasion. Teal'c was enthralled, watching every scene with undivided attention. Jack made a mental note to buy a new set for Teal'c to keep in his quarters and drifted back to sleep.
Jack expected Star Wars to be a general topic of conversation over the next few days, and he wasn't disappointed. Sam, amused at Teal'c's new obsession, scoffed at the bad science and the sheer absurdity of Han's claim that he made"the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs." Daniel enjoyed discussing the cultural impact as well as the the societies that made up both the Empire and the Rebellion, but he also readily admitted to enjoying the movies as sheer escapist entertainment. Jack contented himself with random quotes interjected into the conversation, especially I have a bad feeling about this, which was amazingly apropos in oh, so many ways at the SGC.
The premiere of Star Wars: the Phantom Menace took place only a few weeks later, and Jack had to do some very fast talking to get Hammond to allow Teal'c to go to a theater instead of waiting a year for the home release. When Daniel helpfully pointed out that so many moviegoers would be in costume that Teal'c couldn't possibly stand out in the crowd, Hammond granted permission for a team outing. Teal'c's disapproval of the storyline was obvious, but he seemed to enjoy the theater experience as well as the leisure time with the rest of his teammates.
Jack expected Teal'c's enthusiasm to wane after that, but his love for Star Wars persisted and, if anything, increased. He subscribed to Star Wars Insider. Siler introduced him to a vast amalgamation of Star Wars comics. A number of action figures were now posed on a shelf in his quarters, next to his stack of Star Wars video games. Teal'c even managed to track down a copy of The Star Wars Holiday Special, although he did admit that it was nearly unbearable.
"I would not have believed that George Lucas would so debase his own mythology," he said solemnly, "but the presence of Jar-Jar Binks in the prequel should have warned me that there are no guarantees."
Then Teal'c became absorbed in a conversation with Daniel about Chewbacca's son and wife, and what parallels might be drawn to their lives under Imperial rule compared with Jaffa families living on Goa'uld worlds, and Jack decided to back out of the room.
Jack abandoned all hope of reforming his Jedi Jaffa on the day when he came into Sam's lab and found her delicately manipulating various crystals into wafer-thin rectangles of what might have been silicon, while Teal'c oversaw her work with benign approval.
"What are you doing?" he asked, trying to peer over her shoulder
"Making a working sabacc deck, sir."
"And sabacc is...?"
"The Star Wars equivalent of poker," she explained.
"It is a game of great cunning and skill," Teal'c elaborated. "Han Solo won the Millenium Falcom from Lando Calrissian in a game of sabacc."
Jack screwed up his lips in thought. "I don't remember the term," he admitted.
Sam snorted. "That's because it's not actually in the movies, sir. Han just reminds Lando that he won the Falcon fair and square. The rules and descriptions for sabaac come from other Star Wars material."
"Of course they do," Jack sighed. He peered over Sam's shoulder. "So you're designing the cards? I'm surprised there isn't some kind of deck out on the market."
"Well, it's a little more complicated than that." Sam straightened up, easing the muscles in her back. "Sabacc cards shift at random during play. You can be holding the Mistress of Coins, and suddenly it's the Seven of Staves." She gave Teal'c an amused glance. "Did I get that right, Teal'c?"
"You did, Major Carter," he assured her.
Jack rocked back on his heels. "So you have to bet on a hand without knowing whether or not it's going to change at the last second? Talk about wild cards!"
"Indeed," Teal'c nodded. "It is a most interesting challenge."
Sam bent over the lab table again, carefully fitting a crystal into its slot. "The thing is, sir, I think I can use our knowledge of holograms to come up with an actual working deck. I promised Teal'c I'd try, anyway." She flashed him a bright smile. "It'll be a change to lose to Teal'c when we're playing sabacc rather than just losing to him when we play poker."
"I don't always lose when we play poker," Jack protested automatically, even though he knew that Sam was mostly right. Teal'c was a holy terror at poker - no one at the SGC dared play with him. Even the rest of SG-1, who could read the subtle shifts of his apparently expressionless face, couldn't tell when Teal'c was bluffing. The only time someone beat Teal'c at poker was when they had a perfect hand.
Teal'c said nothing, allowing his sardonic eyebrow to do all the talking.
Jack coughed into his fist. "Sabacc, huh," he mused.
"It's a nice change from working on my latest bike," Sam said, shrugging. "Why not?"
Jack sighed and gave up. "If you were going to make Star Wars technology real, why couldn't you start with a lightsaber?" he grumbled without really meaning it.
"Already done, sir," Sam answered absently, even as she gently tweaked a crystal. "Talk to Bill Lee."
*
End notes: "Jedi Jaffa" is snagged, with affection, from the Stargate SG-1 2007 Special comic. If you're interested, you can find an image from that comic posted with this slightly cracky ficlet.
Despite Jack's S5 assertion that he's never watched Star Wars, calling himself Luke Skywalker when he's in 1969, not to mention quoting "A long, long time ago," kinda puts the lie to that. The only way it makes sense to me is to assume that he's being sarcastic in Ascension. If you're bothered at the contradiction here, feel free to consider this AU.
When Jack introduces Teal'c to Star Wars, he never imagines how obsessed his friend will become. Set immediately after 1969 with a few vague spoilers. ~1,400 words. Rated G.
Fifty Credits on the Wookiee
Jack groaned when Teal'c hit the pause button so quickly. "C'mon, it hasn't even started yet!" he protested, reaching for the remote.
Teal'c only settled back, his iron grip on the remote daring Jack to even try. "Those are the words you and Daniel Jackson used when we convinced Michael and Jenny that we were aliens," he observed.
"Yeah," Jack said, grinning. "I told you this is classic stuff, Teal'c. Trust me, you're gonna love it."
Teal'c's eyebrow looked a little skeptical, but he allowed the movie to resume. Jack's grin grew even wider as the first triumphant burst of the timeless score erupted from the speakers.
This was going to be good.
He was still a little embarrassed that it had taken Teal'c's question regarding Jack's two choices of pseudonyms, back in 1969, for him to realize that when he set out to educate Teal'c in the classics, he'd missed out on Star Wars. They'd covered The Wizard of Oz first, of course, and Jack had introduced Teal'c to many of the old-time classics, ranging from the original King Kong and Citizen Kane to North by Northwest and Casablanca. He'd included Rocky and Die Hard and other more modern films, too - he'd been pleased at Teal'c's enjoyment of The Princess Bride in particular. The hours that the two of them had spent in front of the TV screen in his home, debating the cultural significance of Clint Eastwood, Ginger Rogers, and Errol Flynn, were memories to be savored, even if Teal'c kept making dry comments about his inability to fix the annoyingly blinking 12:00 on his VCR.
But somehow, he'd never rented Star Wars.
The omission was remedied easily enough. He'd planned on introducing Teal'c to Marty McFly, thinking he might enjoy Back to the Future after their little temporal jaunt, but that could wait until another occasion. Jack got permission to take Teal'c out of the mountain, then stopped at the local Blockbusters to rent the Star Wars trilogy. If they were going to do this, they might as well make a marathon out of it. Another quick pit stop for beer, energy drinks, and munchies covered the rest of the essentials.
Now Jack watched Teal'c watching the words scroll up the screen, his gaze focused in the mental effort to read English quickly enough to avoid having to pause the movie again. He wasn't entirely certain how his Jaffa friend would react to the concept of the Force - his rejection of Goa'uld falsehoods of divine magic tended to leave him overwhelmingly skeptical of any supernatural claims these days - but he knew, without a doubt, that Teal'c would love the idea of a brave minority battling against an evil Empire.
Unsurprisingly, Jack was absolutely right.
He dozed off sometime around 3 a.m., while Teal'c was patiently rewinding the first movie back to the beginning so he could watch it all over again. Teal'c considerately used headphones for his rewatch, although Jack found himself opening a sleepy eye on occasion. Teal'c was enthralled, watching every scene with undivided attention. Jack made a mental note to buy a new set for Teal'c to keep in his quarters and drifted back to sleep.
Jack expected Star Wars to be a general topic of conversation over the next few days, and he wasn't disappointed. Sam, amused at Teal'c's new obsession, scoffed at the bad science and the sheer absurdity of Han's claim that he made"the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs." Daniel enjoyed discussing the cultural impact as well as the the societies that made up both the Empire and the Rebellion, but he also readily admitted to enjoying the movies as sheer escapist entertainment. Jack contented himself with random quotes interjected into the conversation, especially I have a bad feeling about this, which was amazingly apropos in oh, so many ways at the SGC.
The premiere of Star Wars: the Phantom Menace took place only a few weeks later, and Jack had to do some very fast talking to get Hammond to allow Teal'c to go to a theater instead of waiting a year for the home release. When Daniel helpfully pointed out that so many moviegoers would be in costume that Teal'c couldn't possibly stand out in the crowd, Hammond granted permission for a team outing. Teal'c's disapproval of the storyline was obvious, but he seemed to enjoy the theater experience as well as the leisure time with the rest of his teammates.
Jack expected Teal'c's enthusiasm to wane after that, but his love for Star Wars persisted and, if anything, increased. He subscribed to Star Wars Insider. Siler introduced him to a vast amalgamation of Star Wars comics. A number of action figures were now posed on a shelf in his quarters, next to his stack of Star Wars video games. Teal'c even managed to track down a copy of The Star Wars Holiday Special, although he did admit that it was nearly unbearable.
"I would not have believed that George Lucas would so debase his own mythology," he said solemnly, "but the presence of Jar-Jar Binks in the prequel should have warned me that there are no guarantees."
Then Teal'c became absorbed in a conversation with Daniel about Chewbacca's son and wife, and what parallels might be drawn to their lives under Imperial rule compared with Jaffa families living on Goa'uld worlds, and Jack decided to back out of the room.
Jack abandoned all hope of reforming his Jedi Jaffa on the day when he came into Sam's lab and found her delicately manipulating various crystals into wafer-thin rectangles of what might have been silicon, while Teal'c oversaw her work with benign approval.
"What are you doing?" he asked, trying to peer over her shoulder
"Making a working sabacc deck, sir."
"And sabacc is...?"
"The Star Wars equivalent of poker," she explained.
"It is a game of great cunning and skill," Teal'c elaborated. "Han Solo won the Millenium Falcom from Lando Calrissian in a game of sabacc."
Jack screwed up his lips in thought. "I don't remember the term," he admitted.
Sam snorted. "That's because it's not actually in the movies, sir. Han just reminds Lando that he won the Falcon fair and square. The rules and descriptions for sabaac come from other Star Wars material."
"Of course they do," Jack sighed. He peered over Sam's shoulder. "So you're designing the cards? I'm surprised there isn't some kind of deck out on the market."
"Well, it's a little more complicated than that." Sam straightened up, easing the muscles in her back. "Sabacc cards shift at random during play. You can be holding the Mistress of Coins, and suddenly it's the Seven of Staves." She gave Teal'c an amused glance. "Did I get that right, Teal'c?"
"You did, Major Carter," he assured her.
Jack rocked back on his heels. "So you have to bet on a hand without knowing whether or not it's going to change at the last second? Talk about wild cards!"
"Indeed," Teal'c nodded. "It is a most interesting challenge."
Sam bent over the lab table again, carefully fitting a crystal into its slot. "The thing is, sir, I think I can use our knowledge of holograms to come up with an actual working deck. I promised Teal'c I'd try, anyway." She flashed him a bright smile. "It'll be a change to lose to Teal'c when we're playing sabacc rather than just losing to him when we play poker."
"I don't always lose when we play poker," Jack protested automatically, even though he knew that Sam was mostly right. Teal'c was a holy terror at poker - no one at the SGC dared play with him. Even the rest of SG-1, who could read the subtle shifts of his apparently expressionless face, couldn't tell when Teal'c was bluffing. The only time someone beat Teal'c at poker was when they had a perfect hand.
Teal'c said nothing, allowing his sardonic eyebrow to do all the talking.
Jack coughed into his fist. "Sabacc, huh," he mused.
"It's a nice change from working on my latest bike," Sam said, shrugging. "Why not?"
Jack sighed and gave up. "If you were going to make Star Wars technology real, why couldn't you start with a lightsaber?" he grumbled without really meaning it.
"Already done, sir," Sam answered absently, even as she gently tweaked a crystal. "Talk to Bill Lee."
*
End notes: "Jedi Jaffa" is snagged, with affection, from the Stargate SG-1 2007 Special comic. If you're interested, you can find an image from that comic posted with this slightly cracky ficlet.
Despite Jack's S5 assertion that he's never watched Star Wars, calling himself Luke Skywalker when he's in 1969, not to mention quoting "A long, long time ago," kinda puts the lie to that. The only way it makes sense to me is to assume that he's being sarcastic in Ascension. If you're bothered at the contradiction here, feel free to consider this AU.