One Minute to Curtain
The second of the S3 bingo ficlets for the A Player of Games square: Jack will do his duty, even if he hates playing the game. Jack's thoughts on his team in Shades of Grey. 555 words, rated PG.
And whee! I have finally completed one line of my bingo card! 'Bout time. :)
One Minute to Curtain
He'd searched the house last night and discovered four new bugs. His fingers itched with the desperate need to dismantle them, but he left them were they were.
He hated this kind of game. He'd gone undercover before, and he never liked it much. But it was one thing to stalk enemy territory wearing a mask of deceptive friendship; it was another matter entirely to muddy his own backyard and endanger the trust of his own people. He understood the stakes, knew that those three months of forced exile proved his innocence, but none of that changed the bitter truth that he was lying to his team - to his friends - and the success of his mission depended on his ability to pretend betrayal.
He slumped over the chessboard, playing white and black against each other and deliberating sabotaging both. He knew his team all too well. After the stunt he'd pulled and the scripts that he and Hammond had acted out, there was no question that one of them was going to turn up. The only question was: which one?
Part of him wished it would be Teal'c. Former First Prime, used to obeying orders, with an all-too-intimate knowledge of the occasional need for things to get really ugly... With his own checkered history and the innate stoicism of a Jaffa, Teal'c would remain unflinching, no matter what Jack dished out. And he'd accept the explanation, too, when the time finally came when he was able to tell his team the truth.
But Jack knew that Teal'c had turned on Apophis because he'd trusted a man who shouted, I can save these people! Help me. The thought of robbing Teal'c of the courage of that conviction was almost more than he could bear.
It wouldn't be Teal'c, he reminded himself sourly, because even after three years of personal sacrifice and intense loyalty, the SGC still wouldn't let him off-base on his own. It would be Carter. Or Daniel.
Neither of those choices appealed to him, either. He'd already lashed out at Carter at the SGC, cutting and cold, and if he had to get any more personal with her, the trust between them as CO and subordinate might be irrevocably destroyed. It was small comfort to consider that she, like him, understood the need to follow orders, even distasteful ones. He knew that when she learned the truth, she would stand at attention, posture ramrod straight, and look him in the eye with cool professionalism. She would accept it, yes. But they'd be a unit, not a team, after that.
Daniel? Jack gripped a pawn, glaring down at it. Daniel might be worst of all. He'd actually known Jack when he was every bit as cold-blooded and bitter as the man he was pretending to be now. I haven't been acting like myself since I met you. Now I'm acting like myself, he'd told Carter, and doubtless she'd repeated it to Daniel. What if he believed that? Would three years of intense familiarity be enough to shield him from the memories of their original mission to Abydos, or would it make Daniel view their friendship through distorted, cracked lenses?
The doorbell rang. Jack swallowed, closed his eyes momentarily, and steeled himself to play the game... no matter who he had to face.
And whee! I have finally completed one line of my bingo card! 'Bout time. :)
One Minute to Curtain
He'd searched the house last night and discovered four new bugs. His fingers itched with the desperate need to dismantle them, but he left them were they were.
He hated this kind of game. He'd gone undercover before, and he never liked it much. But it was one thing to stalk enemy territory wearing a mask of deceptive friendship; it was another matter entirely to muddy his own backyard and endanger the trust of his own people. He understood the stakes, knew that those three months of forced exile proved his innocence, but none of that changed the bitter truth that he was lying to his team - to his friends - and the success of his mission depended on his ability to pretend betrayal.
He slumped over the chessboard, playing white and black against each other and deliberating sabotaging both. He knew his team all too well. After the stunt he'd pulled and the scripts that he and Hammond had acted out, there was no question that one of them was going to turn up. The only question was: which one?
Part of him wished it would be Teal'c. Former First Prime, used to obeying orders, with an all-too-intimate knowledge of the occasional need for things to get really ugly... With his own checkered history and the innate stoicism of a Jaffa, Teal'c would remain unflinching, no matter what Jack dished out. And he'd accept the explanation, too, when the time finally came when he was able to tell his team the truth.
But Jack knew that Teal'c had turned on Apophis because he'd trusted a man who shouted, I can save these people! Help me. The thought of robbing Teal'c of the courage of that conviction was almost more than he could bear.
It wouldn't be Teal'c, he reminded himself sourly, because even after three years of personal sacrifice and intense loyalty, the SGC still wouldn't let him off-base on his own. It would be Carter. Or Daniel.
Neither of those choices appealed to him, either. He'd already lashed out at Carter at the SGC, cutting and cold, and if he had to get any more personal with her, the trust between them as CO and subordinate might be irrevocably destroyed. It was small comfort to consider that she, like him, understood the need to follow orders, even distasteful ones. He knew that when she learned the truth, she would stand at attention, posture ramrod straight, and look him in the eye with cool professionalism. She would accept it, yes. But they'd be a unit, not a team, after that.
Daniel? Jack gripped a pawn, glaring down at it. Daniel might be worst of all. He'd actually known Jack when he was every bit as cold-blooded and bitter as the man he was pretending to be now. I haven't been acting like myself since I met you. Now I'm acting like myself, he'd told Carter, and doubtless she'd repeated it to Daniel. What if he believed that? Would three years of intense familiarity be enough to shield him from the memories of their original mission to Abydos, or would it make Daniel view their friendship through distorted, cracked lenses?
The doorbell rang. Jack swallowed, closed his eyes momentarily, and steeled himself to play the game... no matter who he had to face.