this really isn't that important of an entry for anyone to read, it's mostly me talking to myself and not caring enough to make it private
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I'm glad that you have those happy things, but I really do get being in that frustrating place of no motivation. It's a self-defeating cycle, and I wish I quite knew how to snap out of it. (This most recent case, for me, required having my heart broken slowly, and I wouldn't really wish that on anyone, even if it did eventually make me snap out of it.)
Sometimes, I like taking walks and making lists. Not necessarily "to do" lists for the immediate future, but lists of other things. It helps me organize my thoughts, and the lists can be completely silly and irrelevant. Like, lists of new outfits I want to wear, or lists of cities I'd like to visit, or people I've kissed, or things I like about the place I'm sitting, or what I'd do if I were President.
Reading that was a lot like reading my own thoughts. Getting out of those cycles is so hard! I hope HP was amazing. I can't wait to see it. Love love love.
Maybe you don't feel it now, but you are one of the bravest people I know and it amazes me every day. I know how you feel - the impending pressure of all these things to the point that all you can do is hide and hope they go away. If you think you'll be fine for August and July without a job, then let that drop to the bottom of your list. If you need help setting up your new place, give me a call and I can drop by. We'll blast some music, order cheap chinese (or something equally delicious/gross), and figure it out. I think most importantly, don't be afraid to ask for help because sometimes just letting yourself know that you have people supporting you in your tasks can make them less daunting. xox
maybe talking to someone completely foreign (like doc hoff) would help? we all want to help you sort through your thoughts, and we're all here for you, but it's hard when we know you well but, like you said, can't get inside your head...? just a thought (along the lines of things that are brave and helpful and motivating) I agree with jo's idea of making lists or having some sort of concrete piece of something to hold on to... I used to do it and it really grounded me and i feel scattered now that i don't... xo
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Sometimes, I like taking walks and making lists. Not necessarily "to do" lists for the immediate future, but lists of other things. It helps me organize my thoughts, and the lists can be completely silly and irrelevant. Like, lists of new outfits I want to wear, or lists of cities I'd like to visit, or people I've kissed, or things I like about the place I'm sitting, or what I'd do if I were President.
I like you.
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I agree with jo's idea of making lists or having some sort of concrete piece of something to hold on to... I used to do it and it really grounded me and i feel scattered now that i don't...
xo
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(brackets mean i'm whispering)
xo
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