so my coworker alexis has a pet cockroach and she brought it in to work today since this is where she caught him in the first place and she's worried that he's been acting depressed. so the cage is on the desk and a second ago, i shit you not, we both found ourselves cooing over how cute he is when his little roachy head dips down into the plastic ( Read more... )

How it works: post your CURRENT six favourite tracks, then pick six other people to do the same ( Read more... )

I'm the obnoxious adolescent boy that never shuts up about titties but would baste himself in sweat if a woman actually gave him the time of day ( Read more... )

I wonder if victims of real sexual trauma hate people that are recreationally into S&M ( Read more... )

my windshield has crusty watermelon on it because Alexis and I have found that throwing splatterry food at each other's cars is a hobby we have in common ( Read more... )

So on Wednesday morning I got a call from my landlord yelling at me because I'd allegedly had a loud raging party until all hours of the night and had thrown beer bottles over the fence and ruined my neighbor's coi fish pond. She also shouted that I needed to 1) pay $1,000 to fix it and 2) go over now to apologize and clean up and 3) never do ( Read more... )

Hurray for the new Duke City Derby practice coordinator or whatever my title is. hip hip
hooray!
hip hip
hooray!
Now get to work on those quads, bitches!

We decided on a logo tonight, we get fliers shortly, I'll be making patches and some cheap shirts in a few days. Shit is finally coming together...

Someone has started stocking the bathroom at work with Jet Magazine. I have no idea who's behind it. One of the guys here is an African American studies major, but he's genuinely Christian so I think he'd be offended by the bikini girls in the middle. And I don't know why he'd put them in the ladies' room. And mini-trash magazines have nothing to ( Read more... )

So yeah. Narcolepto the Security Compromising Security Guard has a new name: Gene Gene the Sperm Machine. That's because he told Alexis that he has a hat that says "Sperm Machine" on it. I just have to wonder what kind of response he was expecting/hoping for. She should have stared at him and yelled "STICK IT IN ( Read more... )

Sooo... Over the weekend my brother got offered a job that would pay $200,000 a year but turned it down because he doesn't want to leave New York and his girlfriend (the job would be in Vancouver ( Read more... )