EVENT THREAD: Wondering

[sevencolorgems]

*There is a point in the middle of the night where the weight of worry and insomnia seems to shift from dwelling on how long you have been lying awake since bedtime toward how little time it's going to be until you're doomed to survive another day. Johan figures that the shift begins somewhere between three and three-thirty in the morning. He

Comments

[sees_the_light]

*An odd note about Hikari: Despite wearing elaborate dresses and the like, she moves around absolutely silently, like a fucking ninja. So it's sometimes almost impossible to notice her presence before she calls attention to herself... like by speaking.

By this point, she had heard Johan leave, and decided to follow him. She'd actually been tailing him for a while, yet as she got there, she waited for a while to see what he was up to. After he sat for a while, she finally spoke up:*

... What are you doing...?

[sees_the_light]

... I love Isabel, Harua, and Akuma, but... That's different, isn't it...?

[sevencolorgems]

Yeah... that's more like love for your family and friends. More platonic. I was talking about romantically...

[sees_the_light]

... No...

*... remember that time she ended the universe, Johan? You're talking to the wrong person about this.*

[sevencolorgems]

Ah... that's alright. It's hard to know the difference if you haven't experienced it, but I guess it comes with time, too... Maybe not now, but it'll come to you one of these days just what the difference is.

*Shush, he's just treating her like a normal person. D:*

[sees_the_light]

... I doubt it...

*... appreciated, but kinda unwise. XD*

[sevencolorgems]

*No one ever credited Johan for being wise, ne?*

Why?

[sees_the_light]

*True.*

... It's dangerous.

[sevencolorgems]

...Dangerous to love someone?

[sees_the_light]

... You... remember what I did...

[sevencolorgems]

I do... but you didn't do that out of love. Love for your sisters, maybe, but I think that was the wrong way of expressing it.

Lots of people try to put it into words, and it usually winds up being something along the lines of not wanting to hurt the people you love, no matter what. And you're only just starting to live a normal life, right? I don't think it needs to happen right away, but life's unpredictable, so it just might.

...I think a lot of people tend to think that it's dangerous to get too close to someone for a lot of reasons. Vulnerability, the way they could easily just take your heart and crush it... or even the fear of hurting the other irrevocably. But... I think the pros outweigh the cons when it comes to being close to others.

[sees_the_light]

...

If I... do love someone... what do I do? ... Never tell them... that I killed them once...?

[sevencolorgems]

Well... if it really bothers you that much, and you think they should know, then it wouldn't be a bad thing to tell them the truth if you think they can handle it. Or you can keep it to yourself, and no one else ever has to know if you want... I think it's pretty much up to you, because no one who knows about now it is going to say anything unless you tell them to.

Naturally, it might be a little surprising if you do say something, but if they truly can't accept you after that... they might not be worth it to begin with. A better person would probably just say "it's over with now" and keep caring about you for you, not stopping for what you did in the past that most everyone will have likely forgotten about by that point.

That's what I'm doing, anyway... not that I can claim to know you that well or anything, though.

[sees_the_light]

... Could you do something like that...? Love someone who killed you....

[sevencolorgems]

You'd be surprised what people can forgive, and what they can learn to love as well.

It depends on the person, though, I guess. Look at me, for example. I was possessed once by someone very close to Juudai, but... I don't hold it against her. Someone else who is more inclined to hold grudges might still be wary around her, but I have no problem with her now.

By that time, though... it just might be so far in the past and so small and insignificant in that person's memory that it may turn out to be no problem at all.

[sees_the_light]

... I don't... think such a thing is possible...