THE SQUICKERY. PORN NC17 Do not read.

[septemberoses]

Fandom:  True Blood
Rating: NC17 for Nasty
Genre and/or Pairing: Eric and Godric
Word count: 1700

Okay, so -- this is the part I took out of Godric's Birthday, whereupon I got a couple of comments and PMs from folks who wanted it back!  I think it works better as a separate story.  This was part of a Daddy! fic.  So when Godric says his father, he's

Comments

[flwrpwr_vampyre]

I really like this story. I like the differences in the two parts, how one is fun and innocent and giggly and the second is about the ritual and it's about how Godric feels during. It gives you a feeling of security, oddly enough.

[septemberoses]

YES. I was looking at enema stories online (there are tons) and there's this theme of the ritual, and the comfort, and I thought, I can write that. I can make it work with Godric wanting the ritual and the security, the way he feels after -- sort of like Eric after he gets whipped in Sickle Moon 7(?) And the other thing I was fascinated by in some stories (which I worked into mine) was ... this total disconnect, between what's happening (which I'm thinking, no thanks!) and the way they feel! And then the infantilization part (I can't believe nobody's mentioned the diapering) where my mind says, that is so wrong... and yet... kind of hot. So you got exactly what I wanted, which was that feeling of security and familiar comfort it gives Godric. He feels safe and loved.

[septemberoses]

And I'll add, the part of this story that gets me? Is that Eric tells him to leave his pants on (and Godric wants to), and then punishes him for it. And then, "He was on his side again; Eric had permitted him that after the beating, because he was kind." Yeaahhh.... lord, I am peculiar.

[tourniquetkiss]

it's not that I'm especially squicked out by the fic, I just don't understand what about godric's psychology would make him into receiving an enema.

can you explain?
i'm curious about why you picked this particular fetish for him.

[septemberoses]

Okay. Here goes... 1) I should explain, I got a fic request for an enema, and I was working on the first part, and I linked the ideas together, but maybe I should have left the two stories separate in the first place. So the fetish-picking was essentially by someone else :).... although, I was okay with it, it made sense to me. (please see my response above as well) - A lot of the enema kink stories online are about men receiving, often from some trusted figure (like the Mother.) There's ritual and clearly -- for those people -- this huge element of comfort/reassurance. (And this would be in contrast to another type of enema story, which is force/humiliaton, although there can be some overlap.) So ... in my mind in this fictional world ... I thought, Godric, he's the top vampire. But he likes to be topped sometimes, like a lot of alpha males, for the novelty. And there's this huge emotional dynamic there... who else is going to take care of Godric? I've constructed this whole universe of role-reversal and power-play for them in

[septemberoses]

Also, and then I'll shut up because I'm starting to sound like a loon: Godric is really really REALLY old. So, if part of what we miss in our lives is something we can never have again, what might Godric miss? He might miss being young -- being a child, being cared for, comforted. (plus he was turned as a teenager, already tattooed... what kind of human childhood did he have? not a long one...) So, again, to me, one possible aspect of his very long relationship with Eric is that Eric can grant that emotional wish -- he can BE that parent from time to time, whether or not either of them could or would express it in those words.

[tourniquetkiss]

Ok. I can totally see it now.

Thanks for explaining so lucidly.

[shuhzay99]

It's unfortunate for you that people got upset by this. I've encountered fic in many fandoms that deals with this kink and other, arguably weirder ones. My suggestion for the future would be to include a kink warning in the notes so people who aren't into it can avoid it.

[septemberoses]

Thanks for your comment. I think I made a strategic error, which was to put this fic as a second half (slightly thematically linked) with another fic I'd written which was more in my dirty/whimsical style. And, okay, obviously the subject matter of this one bothered some people :) It just didn't seem that weird to me? So .... oops. It's better now separately anyway, people who want to do so can. I did giggle at the PMs asking me to put it back up after I cut it :) oh, btw, in the first setup I did warn right at the top, but it was UTC because I wasn't sure I could use the word "enema" on the comms? Like, too much info? I figure since I reposted under SQUICKERY DO NOT READ THIS, folks can decide whether to take the risk! You seem to have survived.

PS I love your icon.

[panderia]

I will say that this is definitely not my kink. But that being said, I think this was a great piece. The whole ritualisticness (is that even a word?) of it and Godric's need to be the one comforted and taken care of was so palpable. You could feel the security he got from it especially being that it was Eric with him. There is something so touching about the dynamic between these two. And I have to say, while I like both parts, I think I much prefer this one.

As far as the drama surrounding this one, all I can say is put a warning. Those who are squicked can go along their merry way and those of us who aren't can still enjoy. Don't feel you have to limit yourself. You'll only stifle the talent you have for writing.

[septemberoses]

Thanks for your thoughts and support. As I said ... up there somewhere, I think my main error was a strategic/newbie one of posting it as the second half of another fic I'd been working on, which is a familiar style and completely different from this one (as you saw.) So I think people felt ... kind of tricked into it, for lack of a better word. And so then I felt like I'd done everyone a disservice, including the person I'd written it for! (who btw LOVED it, which made me happy.) I think in the future I'm going to put my freakiest stuff just in my journal and not even post it to the comms. I think people who like my writing style come in here and wander around... which reminds me, now that I (sort of) know what I'm doing I'm going to go back and redo my tags before I have too many stories.

Also, thanks. I was really, really pleased with this as a writing piece. I thought it was beautiful and tender and I managed to evoke exactly what I'd wanted to, which doesn't always happen.

[panderia]

Do you mind if I add you? I'd definitely like to keep up with your fics.

[septemberoses]

Add away. btw I did a post yesterday called The Photographer, it's part 2 of Godric's Birthday, if you're interested it's in my journal. It's mostly porn.

[ohpleaseshutup]

Okay, so maybe enemas and Daddy-stuff are not things get me going. HOWEVER... that's just my personal preference. This is one of those stories that I enjoyed simply because it was well-written and I could tell that you put a lot of thought and effort into the imagery. I hope you won't ever let your writing be dictated by what you feel people want to read. Write from your heart, and if other people like it, that's great. If they're squicked, that's their problem. I just don't want to see you start censoring yourself because you're afraid it won't be well-received. You have an amazing gift, and it would be a shame if you held back your ideas because you started worrying what other people might think of them.

[septemberoses]

I find your icon very distracting in the best possible way... where was I? Well, I'm torn. On the one hand, of course it's only going to work if I find it erotic, and obviously I have some kinks that not everyone shares, and I'm fine with that! On the other hand, I have a writer's desire to satisfy a (theoretical) audience, I get off on that too. Fortunately, I seem to have attracted a small band of perv-- uh, fans, who enjoy my kink as much as I enjoy writing it. Each time I am writing porn, though, I frequently find myself questioning some new and different boundary, which in its own way is interesting and exciting.

BTW congrats for being brave enough to comment on this fic.