Voicemail!

[selfhelphero]

"Hi, you've reached Billy Kaplan. I can't come to the phone right now for some reason, but if you leave a message, I'll get back to you soon. Bye!"

Comments

[hoorayimrich]

Tony had words of wisdom that might have only been meant for one person, but...

I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous

[momslilassassin]

i just sent this text using only my big toe

Aren't you impressed, Billy?

Though it led to an important follow up text:

where r my shoes

[selfhelphero]

tinkerbell does not need shoes. tinkerbell takes only shirts and sometimes pants.

[dollpocalypse]

WALK AWAY. WALK AWAY IM TALKING TO TONY NOW YOU CANT BE NEAR HIM OK!?!?!?!?/AS YOU CAN HAVE A TURN LAZTER

[dollpocalypse]

As an apology of sorts for having thrown Billy under the bus earlier that day, whether Billy knew it or not, Topher compensated by texting him a picture.

Of Tony's very attractive arms. While he was smithing. You're welcome, Billy.

[selfhelphero]

Billy wasn't sure what he'd done to deserve such an amazing picture, but he wasn't going to complain, and Topher got a THANK YOU! in reply.

[dollpocalypse]

dont be mad at me just cuz of the hot tub but he said i was the best hed ever had

[selfhelphero]

Topher might have felt the glare coming from Billy's direction, if he wasn't too drunk to notice it.

plz stop i dont want to want to drown you again. we both got to make out with him lets be happy.

[dollpocalypse]

oh no i didnt make out with his face

TOPHER. TOPHER. NO.

[selfhelphero]

...what did you make out with?

Look, that would have confused Billy when he was sober too.