Voicemail!

Nov 10, 2015 21:01

"Hi, you've reached Billy Kaplan. I can't come to the phone right now for some reason, but if you leave a message, I'll get back to you soon. Bye!"

voicemail

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dollpocalypse January 17 2012, 02:51:10 UTC
dont be mad at me just cuz of the hot tub but he said i was the best hed ever had

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selfhelphero January 17 2012, 02:54:27 UTC
Topher might have felt the glare coming from Billy's direction, if he wasn't too drunk to notice it.

plz stop i dont want to want to drown you again. we both got to make out with him lets be happy.

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dollpocalypse January 17 2012, 02:57:27 UTC
oh no i didnt make out with his face

TOPHER. TOPHER. NO.

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selfhelphero January 17 2012, 03:01:10 UTC
...what did you make out with?

Look, that would have confused Billy when he was sober too.

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dollpocalypse January 17 2012, 03:04:52 UTC
you kknow what fellation is right?

Almost, Topher. Almost.

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selfhelphero January 17 2012, 03:08:17 UTC
And that noise would be Billy choking on his drink.

OH MY GOD YOU SUCK.

Which was quickly followed by:

LIKE FOR REAL. OH MY GOD WHY DO THESE WEEKENDS NOT LOVE ME LIKE THAT?!

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dollpocalypse January 17 2012, 03:11:22 UTC
DONT CHOKE I KNOW CPR!!!11145

Topher. Don't knock over a table in your haste to rescue Billy. Just don't.

And don't pounce on him, either. It was rude.

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