Yes, this.
Having neglected my mocking duties since bloody Febuary and let this thing sit in the back of my hard drive like a Russian bear, I bring you the third MSTed chapter of Primus' Gift. Now with more mpreg and freakish pairings that seem to have been drawn out of a hat!
Part One
Part Two
*Once again, the order of things seems to have changed. The Decepticon leader’s gone missing*
Cyclonus: Scourge…what have you done with Galvatron?
Scourge: What’s he done with himself, is the question. I did a little prereading and then went over to talk to Ultra Magnus. He keeps Galvatron busy until we’re done and I tell him about the attack on the power plant in Las Vegas we’ve been planning.
Cyclonus: Your disturbingly cavalier attitude about revealing Decepticon secrets aside, we weren’t planning an attack in Las Vegas.
Scourge: No, but it’s where the Stunticons are taking their vacation next week and I figure they’ll wind up doing something attackworthy while they’re down there. Magnus gets to feel useful, Galvatron gets to run off shooting things, and we get to enjoy far safer company while we get through this chapter.
Cyclonus: And I’m left alone to put up with you. *turns his head as someone knocks on the wall outside*
Scourge: Did I say that? *leans over towards the right wall and raises his voice* It’s unlocked, Prime!
Cyclonus: …you will never cease to surprise me. *settles back against his chair with a deep sigh, as Scourge folds his hands behind his head with a wide smirk and Rodimus comes down to sit awkwardly next to them*
----Primus’ Gift
Part 3
*** Becky, you’re gonna LOVE the little surprise I toss in’. hehe***
Scourge: Breakdown/Dead End hurt-comfort with a cameo by Elita-1?
Rodimus: Wrong Becky.
He couldn’t get him off his mind. No matter what he did, the face of the young Seeker was embedded in his head.
Rodimus: He, uh, might want to get that looked at.
Galvatron, leader of the Decepticons, sat on his throne trying to figure this out.
Cyclonus: We know who he is, you don’t have to introduce him again.
Never before had he been this enchanted by another. He sighed and tried
not to think about it.
Scourge: And then went to go bang Cyclonus until the disturbing thoughts ran away. Exercise always made him feel better.
Rodimus: *to Cyclonus* Does he ever switch off?
Cyclonus: No. Just ignore him and he’ll stop eventually.
---
Star Fighter lay on his bed coughing. Lately it seemed that he was so weak he couldn’t even stand.
Scourge: Fair enough. We’ve been needing more spare parts anyway.
Cyclonus: Why is he coughing? We don’t breathe.
His body seemed to be falling apart and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Rodimus: He could try superglue.
‘How long will this body last?’ he wondered. Rolling onto his side he contemplated what to do now. The attacks seemed to be becoming more frequent. And they were interfering with his work.
Cyclonus: Attacking is our work.
Scourge: Last I checked we hadn’t attacked since Galvatron randomly shot at the wall over Hot Rod. They’ve probably got him on filing cabinet duty.
All ready this week, he’d been pulled from a job several times. If this continued, he would be punished for his delinquency.
Scourge: And then eaten.
‘What can I do?’
Rodimus: Give them the worst case of indigestion they’ve ever had!
Cyclonus: Stop Furmanning.
---
‘LEAVE ME ALONE.’
Scourge: That’s what I’ve been saying all fic.
Tracks, seven months pregnant, glowered furiously at his lover.
Cyclonus: Seven months of this torture? Even an Autobot would have hacked it out by now.
Scourge: Actually, humans go for about nine months.
Cyclonus: Well, no one accused them of having sense.
All day it seemed that the babies were determined to play hopscotch inside him. And
now he was bound and determined to just stay in bed all day resting. But Optimus was fretting over his health. He seemed to be spending all his time either in bed or trying to get HIM in bed.
Rodimus: Perhaps it’s my limited experience talking, but chronic fatigue and arousal aren’t really that linked.
‘Tracks, please love’ I just want to make sure that everything is all right with the twins.’
Scourge: *snrk*
Rodimus: Somehow this joke is ruined by Tracks not being a female human.
‘Would you PLEASE stop calling them that! I all ready told you, their names
are going to be-’ Before he could finish his sentence, he doubled over in pain. He couldn’t even hear Optimus’s desperate voice as he collapsed.
Cyclonus: You want to call our children ‘aargh’ and ‘urk’? Well, it’s a bit unconventional, but if you say so…
He clutched at his stomach and forced himself to concentrate.
‘Tracks?’
‘Shh’’ Slowly standing, he looked up at his lover. ‘I think I just had a contraction.’
Rodimus: A contraction of what, exactly? We don’t have…things that contract.
Scourge: What would you call the plural, anyway? Uteres? Uterii?
Cyclonus: Inane human anatomy.
‘What!?’ Immediately, a scared, helpless creature replaced Optimus Prime the leader. ‘But, it’s too early! You’re not due for AT LEAST six more eeks!’ He placed a trembling hand on Tracks’ stomach.
Scourge: *flicks through Magically Appearing Laptop* He appears to be undergoing Braxton Hicks contractions. He should probably drink some water or go lie down.
Cyclonus: You are getting far too involved in this research business.
Scourge: It keeps me distracted.
‘Well, let’s call First Aid.’ Tracks calmly walked over to the comm-unit and contacted the chief medical officer. When the rather haggard face appeared, he asked, ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes’ I just finished giving Hot Rod a physical.
Scourge: *snickers* No wonder he looks worn out.
Rodimus: Hey!
So, what can I do for you?’
Scourge: Did you tape the physical? We’re low on medical fetish erotica.
‘Well, I think I had a contraction. What should I do?’
Cyclonus: Invest in apostrophes.
‘You won’t be able to do anything until they’re at least five minutes apart.
Until then, just try to relax. Of course, it may be a false alarm. If they
start to come at about ten minutes apart, contact me. I’ll go ahead and set
things up just in case.’
Cyclonus: Set up for what? They have no idea what they’re doing.
Rodimus: Probably involves a lot of hacksaws and a curling iron.
Shutting off the comm-unit, Tracks turned to his lover. ‘There, you see? Nothing to worry about.’ He smiled at Optimus and then said, ‘Don’t be so worried’’ His smile turned seductive. ‘Why don’t you help me relax?’
Scourge: As strange as this is coming from me, there are times and places when you should not be thinking primarily about sex.
---
‘Silverbolt, we can’t keep this going’’ Slingshot frowned as they watched Air Raid and Skywarp.
Scourge: Look, you just keep putting out the crossfactional jet porn, I’ll worry about the legalities.
Their youngest brother was just barely two months along and yet word had all ready spread. Apparently, Blurr and several others had been very instrumental in getting the news out.
Rodimus: Very, very quickly.
And Optimus was being very cautious about the whole thing. Air Raid was, after all, carrying what some called a hybrid; half Decepticon, half Autobot.
Scourge: And all beef!
And since there were many who opposed the union in the first place, they had to
be extremely careful.
Cyclonus: Careful of what? We already know nothing’s going to hurt the precious little baby…things, no matter what happens. Petty hate crimes won’t change authorial appeal.
‘I know’ but how can we permit this?’ Silverbolt asked as he too watched his brother. It had taken them time to adjust to having the link broken with their brother but it had been something they all agreed on. ‘He’s having that creature’s child’’
Scourge: Two words. Stealth abortion.
‘Are you saying we should kill it?’
Cyclonus: Yes.
‘No. That would hurt Air Raid. Besides, it IS still one of us.’
Cyclonus: I’m still not seeing any reason to keep it alive. Punish the traitor!
Rodimus: Oh, like you guys can talk about Autobot/Decepticon relations.
Scourge: We’re the high command. Rules don’t count for us.
---
Skywarp laughed as he pounced on his lover, who promptly let out a squeal.
Scourge: As the steak knife went through his belly.
They play-wrestled for a bit while Thundercracker shook his head. The
Seeker had gotten used to their behavior years ago on Earth. And now he and
Skywarp were linked to Air Raid. It was a strong bond. Almost as strong as
the bond between them and Star Scream had been.
Rodimus: Complete with the backstabbing of the rest of your faction, apparently.
Tracks came out suddenly, with a very upset Optimus right on his heels.
Scourge: I imagine Tracks wasn’t too comfortable either.
‘Dammit Prime! I am NOT a child.’
‘No, but you’re carrying two. Please Tracks’’
Another contraction, the third one in nearly ten minutes overcame him. Optimus caught him before he could fall. Air Raid trotted over to them. ‘Are you okay?’ he asked worriedly.
Scourge: No, I’m just keeling over in pain for the fun of it. It’s a kink thing.
‘Yes!’
‘No!’ Both lovers snapped. ‘Tracks, they’re almost two minutes apart!’ There was no way he was going to let his babies be born like this.
Scourge: In the middle of the hallway? Hey, why not have the child where you made it?
‘I know, that’s why I’m going to see First Aid’’
Scourge: He wanted a physical too.
He didn’t see why he couldn’t walk.
Almost as soon as he said that, he passed out.
Cyclonus: You know, most humans can get through this all right, and they’re only made of flesh. Tracks is a weakling.
---
News spread like wild fire about the babies.
Rodimus: Inferno was pretty busy.
All of the Protectobots were with Tracks helping in any way that they could.
Cyclonus: Doing what, exactly? First Aid’s the only medic in the group.
Scourge: Boiling water. Lots and lots of water.
Ultra Magnus and Kup were doing their best to keep Optimus from bursting into the room. He would be allowed in when it was time. Until then, he would only be in the way.
Rodimus: Optimus has no self-control here.
The Arielbots (minus Air Raid) and Dinobots were keeping an eye out for
Decepticons.
Scourge: Who also wanted physicals.
The mood in Iacon was a mixture of fear and excitement. This
was certainly an exciting day for them all.
Cyclonus: So now the entire planet cares about Tracks’ little parasites. I think someone is overvaluing the public interest in babies.
‘You know,’ Elita sat primly at a table with Chromia.
Rodimus: Aren’t they supposed to be on Cybertron or something?
‘You’d think that Tracks was the first person ever to give birth.’ She chuckled. ‘And females all over the galaxy have been birthing babies for millions of years!’
Cyclonus: Not on our planet.
Rodimus: Well, the Quintessons technically-
Cyclonus: Human reproduction is bad enough, we are not going to discuss how Quintessons do it!
Scourge: I’ve got tapes-
Cyclonus: No!
The blue colored Femme smiled. ‘Well, Tracks isn’t a true Femme
Scourge: As far as we know, anyway…
and he’s a machine. Besides, I think Blaster and Jazz have planned a party’’
Both Femmes laughed at the thought.
Rodimus: Hey, Jazz’s parties are no laughing matter. We had five casualties that day.
---
Star Fighter sighed softly as he listened to Scourge.
Scourge: Finally, an admirer. *preens*
Their spies had detected some weird readings from Iacon and now they were going into battle.
Cyclonus: The Autobots had developed a baby-powered cannon.
It had been years since he’d been in actual combat. He didn’t have the stamina for it. Shockwave had been smart enough to put him where he could be useful. But apparently, no one else seemed to care.
Scourge: First IC thing we’ve done all fic.
After receiving their instructions, the assembled soldiers dispersed and the lone Seeker made his way down the corridor. He wandered alone, as usual, down the dark halls not paying attention to anything around him. Suddenly, he smacked into a solid form and looked up.
Cyclonus: It was the author’s unbearable denseness in physical form.
‘Milord!’
The huge form of the Decepticon leader stood over him, with Cyclonus and
Scourge at his side.
Scourge: I swear, we’re accessories in this fic. We’re practically hanging off his arm in a little purse or something.
Rodimus: Thank you, Scourge, for that amazing image.
‘How dare you!’ Scourge snarled viciously. He raised a clawed hand to slap
the insolent boy but was stopped.
Scourge: So close to violence. *sigh*
‘Don’t touch him’’ Galvatron locked gazes with the Seeker, who, remembering
his place, lowered his eyes. He then calmly spoke to the boy. ‘It’s all right. I should have paid attention.’ As the boy raised his head to gape, the larger robot then said, ‘You may go.’
Rodimus: I don’t like where this is going. It’s either further torture for Star Fighter or…
Cyclonus: Torture for us?
Rodimus: Yeah, pretty much.
Scourge: Not quite what I was thinking…
‘Th-thank you, Milord’’ Star Seeker quickly went around them and around the
corner where he then stopped. As he sank to the floor, his personal
comm-unit came online.
Scourge: How embarrassing.
::Star Fighter’ That’s your name, is it not?::
Cyclonus: The namer really must have been slacking off the day he came through.
Rodimus: Or he’d been watching too much Star Wars.
It was Galvatron!
::Yes, Milord’:: His breath caught.
::Come to my quarters tonight after your shift. I would like to’ talk at
length with you.::
Scourge: My, look at the time… */Pyramid Head*
Cyclonus: Galvatron doesn’t talk. Galvatron hits things. Very hard.
Before he could fathom a response, the link was cut. With a feeling of
dread, the younger Seeker climbed to his feet.
---
Several hours later, Star Fighter found himself on his back lying beneath
his leader’s large body.
Rodimus: Um…yay sparring match?
Scourge: Fire in the hole… *scoots away from Cyclonus*
Galvatron kissed the boy’s neck and started to move down his body.
Cyclonus: What?! *flail!* What does that pathetic weak little ball of scrap have to interest him?
Rodimus: Eep! *also scoots*
Scourge: Told you.
As his mouth drew nearer to his codpiece, Star Fighter gasped and jerked free.
‘Milord!’ He had never been intimate with anyone and certainly wasn’t about
to be forced.
Cyclonus: It’s Galvatron. Does he honestly think he has a choice? *fumes*
He knew of Megatron’s reputation; he had been with so many
that it had become a game for him.
Rodimus: Monopoly, actually.
But as far as anyone knew, Galvatron had yet to sleep with another.
*the three of them begin snickering loudly*
Puzzled, Galvatron pushed himself up and looked down at him. ‘What’s wrong?’ He still couldn’t believe how quickly he’d forgotten about Rodimus.
Rodimus: Hey!
All he wanted was to have the boy here and now.
Cyclonus: For breakfast.
‘I…I’m not just some whore who will bend to you. If you just want sex,
you’ll have to force me.’
Scourge: Seeing no problem here…
Cyclonus: What an utter fool.
Gently, Galvatron lifted his face. ‘I couldn’t…I want you to be by my side’’ This time, when he kissed the boy’s mouth, they could both feel it.
Rodimus: Was he numb before?
Cyclonus: Where’s a gag reflex when I need it…
As they fell back on the bed, Star Fighter knew he had made the right
choice.
Rodimus: State Farm Insurance.
Cyclonus: *flops back against his chair* I defer to your judgement in having Galvatron skip that chapter.
Scourge: Told you, but nobody ever listens to me.
Optimus didn’t even notice that his lover was still clenching his hand tightly. All he could see were the two perfect little babies lying in the incubator.
Rodimus: Incubated from what? We can live in space!
Cyclonus: Oh, so the mech who got gutted gets no attention, but the little parasites are everyone’s darlings.
One, the eldest, was black and red with a design similar to Track’s. The other was blue and grey and looked like Optimus. They had named them *Rei Hino and Fire Soul.
Rodimus: Scourge?
Scourge: Googling. *fiddles with laptop* It’s the real name of…Sailor Mars. What the heck.
Cyclonus: *bitter* Well, this was ludicrous enough, why not get Sailor Moon involved?
Optimus had been perplexed by the name for the eldest. But Tracks had explained that in the neutral territory that he’d lived in Rei Hino meant ‘Fire of the soul’. So in a way, the brothers had the same name.
Rodimus: Tracks lives in Japan?
Cyclonus: I suppose it’s technically neutral territory, even if Earth tends to ally itself with the Autobots on occasion.
Scourge: Japan brought us giant penis-tongued Decepticons that look just enough like Megatron to be unsettling. I’m declaring it our enemy anyway.
It didn’t matter though; they were the most perfect babies ever.
Cyclonus: Of course they were.
Scourge: *makes a few gagging noises*
---
Star Fighter lay next to his lover as he slept. Galvatron smiled gently as he watched him sleep.
Scourge: Hey, he never smiles when he watches me sleep.
Rodimus: How would you know? You were asleep.
The boy had been a virgin up until a couple of hours ago. He’d received word just a few minutes before that Optimus’ children had been born, but he would deal with that later. In actuality, he didn’t really care anymore. All he wanted was to stay right here, in his bed with Star Fighter forever.
Cyclonus: And if he’s the sort of Galvatron who acts like this, he can stay there.
Rodimus: Holy pronoun confusion. I can’t tell what the heck’s thinking what here.
---
Hot Rod was awakened that night by a strange glowing light. Without thinking, he followed it outside onto the balcony.
Scourge: Can’t see this ending well.
Rodimus: We have a balcony?
An image of a person appeared. It was a woman. She had long silver hair and was naked. She smiled a sweet smile.
Rodimus: …well, that’s different.
Scourge: Incoming Sue!
‘Rodimus’’ Tenderly she laid a hand on his belly and smiled again.
Rodimus: Question one, why’s she calling me Rodimus? Question two, why’s she groping my midsection?
Scourge: Probably on account of you also being knocked up.
Rodimus: …I’m WHAT?
Cyclonus: You didn’t tell him?
Scourge: I figured he’d find out eventually. And he did.
‘Your first born’ He is only one of the many children that will lead your people to a new world, a new life.’
Scourge: Wasn’t that part of the plot of Silent Hill 3?
Rodimus: *slight gurgling noises*
Cyclonus: *in mock sympathy* At least it’s only the one?
‘Who are you?’ Hot Rod wasn’t afraid. She seemed familiar somehow.
Rodimus: No, I tend to remember my nightmares and they don’t involve human nudity. Mostly.
‘I am your mother. I am all of yours’ mother. I have come to give you a message.’ Now her expression turned grave. ‘The time for peace is nearing. But first, your courage will be put to the test.
Scourge: I don’t know what she’s talking. My mother is a giant fanged monster whose head hangs in the sky and stares with sightless eyes down upon our planet.
Rodimus: You’re related to Carly’s great-aunt?
As the one chosen to bare the Matrix, you must keep faith in those you love.
Rodimus: I’ve already done that. The whole Unicron-destroying thing, remember?
Be willing to view all sides. Peace cannot be reached without you and the others becoming as one.
Scourge: She’s like a giant naked fortune cookie.
Your brothers, the Decepticons and the Neutrals, they must all come to you.’ Her pale eyes darkened a bit.
Scourge: That must have been some horrible high grade.
Cyclonus: Why don’t they just come to us? We’ll be happy to recruit, enslave, or execute them.
‘And the greatest test of all will come from here.’ She indicated his abdomen.
Rodimus: If the fate of the universe rests on a drinking contest, I am totally there.
‘I cannot return Cyberton or her people to glory until that day, until all
are one’’
Scourge: Anyone else think this line could be interpreted as a massive planetary orgy?
Cyclonus: No, Scourge.
‘Hot Rod?’ Ultra Magnus had awakened alone. He frowned. ‘Who are you
talking to?’
Looking back, Hot Rod couldn’t see the woman anymore. But now he knew. Turning to his lover, he replied, ‘Primus.’
All: *…*
Rodimus: Last I checked, Primus was male.
Scourge: Last I checked, Primus was a robot.
Cyclonus: Last I checked this fic didn’t seem to care about reality anyway.
---
‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes’ that was incredible!’
‘You did such an amazing job today. I felt that you deserved to know how
much I love you’’
Scourge: Okay, that cannot be interpreted cleanly.
Rodimus: Fair enough.
‘Love? You really love me?’
Scourge: No, I just said that to get you into bed. You’re not mad, are you?
‘Yes’’
As he two lovers lay together, First Aid wondered why he had denied himself this joy. He gazed at Thundercracker with tears in his eyes. ‘I love you.’
Rodimus: Tears? Must have been some pretty violent sex there.
To be continued…
Okay, I know it was shorter than the other parts, but what can I say? Lol
Cyclonus: We’d rather you not say anything at all.
Scourge: Except perhaps ‘the end’.
Okay, Rei Hino is Japanese for Fire Soul. Sailor Mars uses it for her
attack in the first couple of seasons of Sailor Moon
Scourge: Told you. *shuts Magically Appearing Laptop*
Cyclonus: Why you’d name two mechs the same thing is beyond me, you’d never tell them apart. *leans back and pauses, looking at the back wall* Where are the explosions?
Rodimus: The what?
Cyclonus: Galvatron should be trying to blast his way in here by now, or at least-- *and an explosion behind him sends him reeling out of his seat onto the floor*
Galvatron: *pokes head in, grinning fiendlishly* Prime, there you are! Come out and fight like an Autobot instead of hiding in this ghastly place!
Rodimus: You have to catch me first! ^_^ *merrily shoves his way out the back door while Scourge attempts to help Cyclonus up off the floor*
Part One
Part Two
*Once again, the order of things seems to have changed. The Decepticon leader’s gone missing*
Cyclonus: Scourge…what have you done with Galvatron?
Scourge: What’s he done with himself, is the question. I did a little prereading and then went over to talk to Ultra Magnus. He keeps Galvatron busy until we’re done and I tell him about the attack on the power plant in Las Vegas we’ve been planning.
Cyclonus: Your disturbingly cavalier attitude about revealing Decepticon secrets aside, we weren’t planning an attack in Las Vegas.
Scourge: No, but it’s where the Stunticons are taking their vacation next week and I figure they’ll wind up doing something attackworthy while they’re down there. Magnus gets to feel useful, Galvatron gets to run off shooting things, and we get to enjoy far safer company while we get through this chapter.
Cyclonus: And I’m left alone to put up with you. *turns his head as someone knocks on the wall outside*
Scourge: Did I say that? *leans over towards the right wall and raises his voice* It’s unlocked, Prime!
Cyclonus: …you will never cease to surprise me. *settles back against his chair with a deep sigh, as Scourge folds his hands behind his head with a wide smirk and Rodimus comes down to sit awkwardly next to them*
----Primus’ Gift
Part 3
*** Becky, you’re gonna LOVE the little surprise I toss in’. hehe***
Scourge: Breakdown/Dead End hurt-comfort with a cameo by Elita-1?
Rodimus: Wrong Becky.
He couldn’t get him off his mind. No matter what he did, the face of the young Seeker was embedded in his head.
Rodimus: He, uh, might want to get that looked at.
Galvatron, leader of the Decepticons, sat on his throne trying to figure this out.
Cyclonus: We know who he is, you don’t have to introduce him again.
Never before had he been this enchanted by another. He sighed and tried
not to think about it.
Scourge: And then went to go bang Cyclonus until the disturbing thoughts ran away. Exercise always made him feel better.
Rodimus: *to Cyclonus* Does he ever switch off?
Cyclonus: No. Just ignore him and he’ll stop eventually.
---
Star Fighter lay on his bed coughing. Lately it seemed that he was so weak he couldn’t even stand.
Scourge: Fair enough. We’ve been needing more spare parts anyway.
Cyclonus: Why is he coughing? We don’t breathe.
His body seemed to be falling apart and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Rodimus: He could try superglue.
‘How long will this body last?’ he wondered. Rolling onto his side he contemplated what to do now. The attacks seemed to be becoming more frequent. And they were interfering with his work.
Cyclonus: Attacking is our work.
Scourge: Last I checked we hadn’t attacked since Galvatron randomly shot at the wall over Hot Rod. They’ve probably got him on filing cabinet duty.
All ready this week, he’d been pulled from a job several times. If this continued, he would be punished for his delinquency.
Scourge: And then eaten.
‘What can I do?’
Rodimus: Give them the worst case of indigestion they’ve ever had!
Cyclonus: Stop Furmanning.
---
‘LEAVE ME ALONE.’
Scourge: That’s what I’ve been saying all fic.
Tracks, seven months pregnant, glowered furiously at his lover.
Cyclonus: Seven months of this torture? Even an Autobot would have hacked it out by now.
Scourge: Actually, humans go for about nine months.
Cyclonus: Well, no one accused them of having sense.
All day it seemed that the babies were determined to play hopscotch inside him. And
now he was bound and determined to just stay in bed all day resting. But Optimus was fretting over his health. He seemed to be spending all his time either in bed or trying to get HIM in bed.
Rodimus: Perhaps it’s my limited experience talking, but chronic fatigue and arousal aren’t really that linked.
‘Tracks, please love’ I just want to make sure that everything is all right with the twins.’
Scourge: *snrk*
Rodimus: Somehow this joke is ruined by Tracks not being a female human.
‘Would you PLEASE stop calling them that! I all ready told you, their names
are going to be-’ Before he could finish his sentence, he doubled over in pain. He couldn’t even hear Optimus’s desperate voice as he collapsed.
Cyclonus: You want to call our children ‘aargh’ and ‘urk’? Well, it’s a bit unconventional, but if you say so…
He clutched at his stomach and forced himself to concentrate.
‘Tracks?’
‘Shh’’ Slowly standing, he looked up at his lover. ‘I think I just had a contraction.’
Rodimus: A contraction of what, exactly? We don’t have…things that contract.
Scourge: What would you call the plural, anyway? Uteres? Uterii?
Cyclonus: Inane human anatomy.
‘What!?’ Immediately, a scared, helpless creature replaced Optimus Prime the leader. ‘But, it’s too early! You’re not due for AT LEAST six more eeks!’ He placed a trembling hand on Tracks’ stomach.
Scourge: *flicks through Magically Appearing Laptop* He appears to be undergoing Braxton Hicks contractions. He should probably drink some water or go lie down.
Cyclonus: You are getting far too involved in this research business.
Scourge: It keeps me distracted.
‘Well, let’s call First Aid.’ Tracks calmly walked over to the comm-unit and contacted the chief medical officer. When the rather haggard face appeared, he asked, ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes’ I just finished giving Hot Rod a physical.
Scourge: *snickers* No wonder he looks worn out.
Rodimus: Hey!
So, what can I do for you?’
Scourge: Did you tape the physical? We’re low on medical fetish erotica.
‘Well, I think I had a contraction. What should I do?’
Cyclonus: Invest in apostrophes.
‘You won’t be able to do anything until they’re at least five minutes apart.
Until then, just try to relax. Of course, it may be a false alarm. If they
start to come at about ten minutes apart, contact me. I’ll go ahead and set
things up just in case.’
Cyclonus: Set up for what? They have no idea what they’re doing.
Rodimus: Probably involves a lot of hacksaws and a curling iron.
Shutting off the comm-unit, Tracks turned to his lover. ‘There, you see? Nothing to worry about.’ He smiled at Optimus and then said, ‘Don’t be so worried’’ His smile turned seductive. ‘Why don’t you help me relax?’
Scourge: As strange as this is coming from me, there are times and places when you should not be thinking primarily about sex.
---
‘Silverbolt, we can’t keep this going’’ Slingshot frowned as they watched Air Raid and Skywarp.
Scourge: Look, you just keep putting out the crossfactional jet porn, I’ll worry about the legalities.
Their youngest brother was just barely two months along and yet word had all ready spread. Apparently, Blurr and several others had been very instrumental in getting the news out.
Rodimus: Very, very quickly.
And Optimus was being very cautious about the whole thing. Air Raid was, after all, carrying what some called a hybrid; half Decepticon, half Autobot.
Scourge: And all beef!
And since there were many who opposed the union in the first place, they had to
be extremely careful.
Cyclonus: Careful of what? We already know nothing’s going to hurt the precious little baby…things, no matter what happens. Petty hate crimes won’t change authorial appeal.
‘I know’ but how can we permit this?’ Silverbolt asked as he too watched his brother. It had taken them time to adjust to having the link broken with their brother but it had been something they all agreed on. ‘He’s having that creature’s child’’
Scourge: Two words. Stealth abortion.
‘Are you saying we should kill it?’
Cyclonus: Yes.
‘No. That would hurt Air Raid. Besides, it IS still one of us.’
Cyclonus: I’m still not seeing any reason to keep it alive. Punish the traitor!
Rodimus: Oh, like you guys can talk about Autobot/Decepticon relations.
Scourge: We’re the high command. Rules don’t count for us.
---
Skywarp laughed as he pounced on his lover, who promptly let out a squeal.
Scourge: As the steak knife went through his belly.
They play-wrestled for a bit while Thundercracker shook his head. The
Seeker had gotten used to their behavior years ago on Earth. And now he and
Skywarp were linked to Air Raid. It was a strong bond. Almost as strong as
the bond between them and Star Scream had been.
Rodimus: Complete with the backstabbing of the rest of your faction, apparently.
Tracks came out suddenly, with a very upset Optimus right on his heels.
Scourge: I imagine Tracks wasn’t too comfortable either.
‘Dammit Prime! I am NOT a child.’
‘No, but you’re carrying two. Please Tracks’’
Another contraction, the third one in nearly ten minutes overcame him. Optimus caught him before he could fall. Air Raid trotted over to them. ‘Are you okay?’ he asked worriedly.
Scourge: No, I’m just keeling over in pain for the fun of it. It’s a kink thing.
‘Yes!’
‘No!’ Both lovers snapped. ‘Tracks, they’re almost two minutes apart!’ There was no way he was going to let his babies be born like this.
Scourge: In the middle of the hallway? Hey, why not have the child where you made it?
‘I know, that’s why I’m going to see First Aid’’
Scourge: He wanted a physical too.
He didn’t see why he couldn’t walk.
Almost as soon as he said that, he passed out.
Cyclonus: You know, most humans can get through this all right, and they’re only made of flesh. Tracks is a weakling.
---
News spread like wild fire about the babies.
Rodimus: Inferno was pretty busy.
All of the Protectobots were with Tracks helping in any way that they could.
Cyclonus: Doing what, exactly? First Aid’s the only medic in the group.
Scourge: Boiling water. Lots and lots of water.
Ultra Magnus and Kup were doing their best to keep Optimus from bursting into the room. He would be allowed in when it was time. Until then, he would only be in the way.
Rodimus: Optimus has no self-control here.
The Arielbots (minus Air Raid) and Dinobots were keeping an eye out for
Decepticons.
Scourge: Who also wanted physicals.
The mood in Iacon was a mixture of fear and excitement. This
was certainly an exciting day for them all.
Cyclonus: So now the entire planet cares about Tracks’ little parasites. I think someone is overvaluing the public interest in babies.
‘You know,’ Elita sat primly at a table with Chromia.
Rodimus: Aren’t they supposed to be on Cybertron or something?
‘You’d think that Tracks was the first person ever to give birth.’ She chuckled. ‘And females all over the galaxy have been birthing babies for millions of years!’
Cyclonus: Not on our planet.
Rodimus: Well, the Quintessons technically-
Cyclonus: Human reproduction is bad enough, we are not going to discuss how Quintessons do it!
Scourge: I’ve got tapes-
Cyclonus: No!
The blue colored Femme smiled. ‘Well, Tracks isn’t a true Femme
Scourge: As far as we know, anyway…
and he’s a machine. Besides, I think Blaster and Jazz have planned a party’’
Both Femmes laughed at the thought.
Rodimus: Hey, Jazz’s parties are no laughing matter. We had five casualties that day.
---
Star Fighter sighed softly as he listened to Scourge.
Scourge: Finally, an admirer. *preens*
Their spies had detected some weird readings from Iacon and now they were going into battle.
Cyclonus: The Autobots had developed a baby-powered cannon.
It had been years since he’d been in actual combat. He didn’t have the stamina for it. Shockwave had been smart enough to put him where he could be useful. But apparently, no one else seemed to care.
Scourge: First IC thing we’ve done all fic.
After receiving their instructions, the assembled soldiers dispersed and the lone Seeker made his way down the corridor. He wandered alone, as usual, down the dark halls not paying attention to anything around him. Suddenly, he smacked into a solid form and looked up.
Cyclonus: It was the author’s unbearable denseness in physical form.
‘Milord!’
The huge form of the Decepticon leader stood over him, with Cyclonus and
Scourge at his side.
Scourge: I swear, we’re accessories in this fic. We’re practically hanging off his arm in a little purse or something.
Rodimus: Thank you, Scourge, for that amazing image.
‘How dare you!’ Scourge snarled viciously. He raised a clawed hand to slap
the insolent boy but was stopped.
Scourge: So close to violence. *sigh*
‘Don’t touch him’’ Galvatron locked gazes with the Seeker, who, remembering
his place, lowered his eyes. He then calmly spoke to the boy. ‘It’s all right. I should have paid attention.’ As the boy raised his head to gape, the larger robot then said, ‘You may go.’
Rodimus: I don’t like where this is going. It’s either further torture for Star Fighter or…
Cyclonus: Torture for us?
Rodimus: Yeah, pretty much.
Scourge: Not quite what I was thinking…
‘Th-thank you, Milord’’ Star Seeker quickly went around them and around the
corner where he then stopped. As he sank to the floor, his personal
comm-unit came online.
Scourge: How embarrassing.
::Star Fighter’ That’s your name, is it not?::
Cyclonus: The namer really must have been slacking off the day he came through.
Rodimus: Or he’d been watching too much Star Wars.
It was Galvatron!
::Yes, Milord’:: His breath caught.
::Come to my quarters tonight after your shift. I would like to’ talk at
length with you.::
Scourge: My, look at the time… */Pyramid Head*
Cyclonus: Galvatron doesn’t talk. Galvatron hits things. Very hard.
Before he could fathom a response, the link was cut. With a feeling of
dread, the younger Seeker climbed to his feet.
---
Several hours later, Star Fighter found himself on his back lying beneath
his leader’s large body.
Rodimus: Um…yay sparring match?
Scourge: Fire in the hole… *scoots away from Cyclonus*
Galvatron kissed the boy’s neck and started to move down his body.
Cyclonus: What?! *flail!* What does that pathetic weak little ball of scrap have to interest him?
Rodimus: Eep! *also scoots*
Scourge: Told you.
As his mouth drew nearer to his codpiece, Star Fighter gasped and jerked free.
‘Milord!’ He had never been intimate with anyone and certainly wasn’t about
to be forced.
Cyclonus: It’s Galvatron. Does he honestly think he has a choice? *fumes*
He knew of Megatron’s reputation; he had been with so many
that it had become a game for him.
Rodimus: Monopoly, actually.
But as far as anyone knew, Galvatron had yet to sleep with another.
*the three of them begin snickering loudly*
Puzzled, Galvatron pushed himself up and looked down at him. ‘What’s wrong?’ He still couldn’t believe how quickly he’d forgotten about Rodimus.
Rodimus: Hey!
All he wanted was to have the boy here and now.
Cyclonus: For breakfast.
‘I…I’m not just some whore who will bend to you. If you just want sex,
you’ll have to force me.’
Scourge: Seeing no problem here…
Cyclonus: What an utter fool.
Gently, Galvatron lifted his face. ‘I couldn’t…I want you to be by my side’’ This time, when he kissed the boy’s mouth, they could both feel it.
Rodimus: Was he numb before?
Cyclonus: Where’s a gag reflex when I need it…
As they fell back on the bed, Star Fighter knew he had made the right
choice.
Rodimus: State Farm Insurance.
Cyclonus: *flops back against his chair* I defer to your judgement in having Galvatron skip that chapter.
Scourge: Told you, but nobody ever listens to me.
Optimus didn’t even notice that his lover was still clenching his hand tightly. All he could see were the two perfect little babies lying in the incubator.
Rodimus: Incubated from what? We can live in space!
Cyclonus: Oh, so the mech who got gutted gets no attention, but the little parasites are everyone’s darlings.
One, the eldest, was black and red with a design similar to Track’s. The other was blue and grey and looked like Optimus. They had named them *Rei Hino and Fire Soul.
Rodimus: Scourge?
Scourge: Googling. *fiddles with laptop* It’s the real name of…Sailor Mars. What the heck.
Cyclonus: *bitter* Well, this was ludicrous enough, why not get Sailor Moon involved?
Optimus had been perplexed by the name for the eldest. But Tracks had explained that in the neutral territory that he’d lived in Rei Hino meant ‘Fire of the soul’. So in a way, the brothers had the same name.
Rodimus: Tracks lives in Japan?
Cyclonus: I suppose it’s technically neutral territory, even if Earth tends to ally itself with the Autobots on occasion.
Scourge: Japan brought us giant penis-tongued Decepticons that look just enough like Megatron to be unsettling. I’m declaring it our enemy anyway.
It didn’t matter though; they were the most perfect babies ever.
Cyclonus: Of course they were.
Scourge: *makes a few gagging noises*
---
Star Fighter lay next to his lover as he slept. Galvatron smiled gently as he watched him sleep.
Scourge: Hey, he never smiles when he watches me sleep.
Rodimus: How would you know? You were asleep.
The boy had been a virgin up until a couple of hours ago. He’d received word just a few minutes before that Optimus’ children had been born, but he would deal with that later. In actuality, he didn’t really care anymore. All he wanted was to stay right here, in his bed with Star Fighter forever.
Cyclonus: And if he’s the sort of Galvatron who acts like this, he can stay there.
Rodimus: Holy pronoun confusion. I can’t tell what the heck’s thinking what here.
---
Hot Rod was awakened that night by a strange glowing light. Without thinking, he followed it outside onto the balcony.
Scourge: Can’t see this ending well.
Rodimus: We have a balcony?
An image of a person appeared. It was a woman. She had long silver hair and was naked. She smiled a sweet smile.
Rodimus: …well, that’s different.
Scourge: Incoming Sue!
‘Rodimus’’ Tenderly she laid a hand on his belly and smiled again.
Rodimus: Question one, why’s she calling me Rodimus? Question two, why’s she groping my midsection?
Scourge: Probably on account of you also being knocked up.
Rodimus: …I’m WHAT?
Cyclonus: You didn’t tell him?
Scourge: I figured he’d find out eventually. And he did.
‘Your first born’ He is only one of the many children that will lead your people to a new world, a new life.’
Scourge: Wasn’t that part of the plot of Silent Hill 3?
Rodimus: *slight gurgling noises*
Cyclonus: *in mock sympathy* At least it’s only the one?
‘Who are you?’ Hot Rod wasn’t afraid. She seemed familiar somehow.
Rodimus: No, I tend to remember my nightmares and they don’t involve human nudity. Mostly.
‘I am your mother. I am all of yours’ mother. I have come to give you a message.’ Now her expression turned grave. ‘The time for peace is nearing. But first, your courage will be put to the test.
Scourge: I don’t know what she’s talking. My mother is a giant fanged monster whose head hangs in the sky and stares with sightless eyes down upon our planet.
Rodimus: You’re related to Carly’s great-aunt?
As the one chosen to bare the Matrix, you must keep faith in those you love.
Rodimus: I’ve already done that. The whole Unicron-destroying thing, remember?
Be willing to view all sides. Peace cannot be reached without you and the others becoming as one.
Scourge: She’s like a giant naked fortune cookie.
Your brothers, the Decepticons and the Neutrals, they must all come to you.’ Her pale eyes darkened a bit.
Scourge: That must have been some horrible high grade.
Cyclonus: Why don’t they just come to us? We’ll be happy to recruit, enslave, or execute them.
‘And the greatest test of all will come from here.’ She indicated his abdomen.
Rodimus: If the fate of the universe rests on a drinking contest, I am totally there.
‘I cannot return Cyberton or her people to glory until that day, until all
are one’’
Scourge: Anyone else think this line could be interpreted as a massive planetary orgy?
Cyclonus: No, Scourge.
‘Hot Rod?’ Ultra Magnus had awakened alone. He frowned. ‘Who are you
talking to?’
Looking back, Hot Rod couldn’t see the woman anymore. But now he knew. Turning to his lover, he replied, ‘Primus.’
All: *…*
Rodimus: Last I checked, Primus was male.
Scourge: Last I checked, Primus was a robot.
Cyclonus: Last I checked this fic didn’t seem to care about reality anyway.
---
‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes’ that was incredible!’
‘You did such an amazing job today. I felt that you deserved to know how
much I love you’’
Scourge: Okay, that cannot be interpreted cleanly.
Rodimus: Fair enough.
‘Love? You really love me?’
Scourge: No, I just said that to get you into bed. You’re not mad, are you?
‘Yes’’
As he two lovers lay together, First Aid wondered why he had denied himself this joy. He gazed at Thundercracker with tears in his eyes. ‘I love you.’
Rodimus: Tears? Must have been some pretty violent sex there.
To be continued…
Okay, I know it was shorter than the other parts, but what can I say? Lol
Cyclonus: We’d rather you not say anything at all.
Scourge: Except perhaps ‘the end’.
Okay, Rei Hino is Japanese for Fire Soul. Sailor Mars uses it for her
attack in the first couple of seasons of Sailor Moon
Scourge: Told you. *shuts Magically Appearing Laptop*
Cyclonus: Why you’d name two mechs the same thing is beyond me, you’d never tell them apart. *leans back and pauses, looking at the back wall* Where are the explosions?
Rodimus: The what?
Cyclonus: Galvatron should be trying to blast his way in here by now, or at least-- *and an explosion behind him sends him reeling out of his seat onto the floor*
Galvatron: *pokes head in, grinning fiendlishly* Prime, there you are! Come out and fight like an Autobot instead of hiding in this ghastly place!
Rodimus: You have to catch me first! ^_^ *merrily shoves his way out the back door while Scourge attempts to help Cyclonus up off the floor*