How has this become my life?

[seeking_joely]

Wow.  I haven't posted in a year and four months (someone pointed this out to me...I didn't even realize it had been so long!), but you would think it was four years based upon how drastic of a turn my life has taken.  Despite me trying over and over to keep this weight off...I have done nothing but gain.  I am now closer to 700 pounds.  What???

Comments

[jejuneraccoon]

I'm so sorry that you're struggling and hope things get better soon.

<3

[seeking_joely]

thank you. :)

Care about you

[anonymous]

I followed your blog years ago, and for some reason you came into my mind tonight. My heart breaks for you. You are still young, and there is always hope. I suggest reading some of Geneen Roth's books. It is possible to completely mess up your metabolism. Overeating and dieting can be like trying to control the heat in your house by turning the thermostat all the way up and all the way back down constantly. If you do that for 20 years, your thermostat gets broken. I believe you can find a way out. I am going to be thinking of you and following you. I know exactly how you feel. I am 60 years ago and don't know how much more fight I have left in me. I pray this does not kill you anymore than it kills me. But believe me Beloved, it will. Let's not let it take us out.

Thought for the day

[anonymous]

"You can do it. You can rescue yourself. No matter how miserable or fat or ugly you feel. No matter what you believe about your competence or worth or your capacity to love and be loved, YOU CAN CHANGE. It doesn't matter what you weigh. You can become someone who knows without a doubt that she is powerful and strong and gorgeous. You can stop following the instructions you were given ten or twenty years ago. You can become your own heroine, but you HAVE TO ACT. It's up to you. No book, no teacher, no lover, no child, no God can do this for you...The most important thing is that you start acting on your own behalf and that you begin to understand that YOU ARE CAPABLE of so much more greatness than you ever imagined." Geneen Roth, When You Eat At the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair.

From Kathy in Florida

[anonymous]

I have sent you a couple of messages. I don't belong to this site, so they all come across as anonymous. I just wanted to tell you I'm thinking about you. I pray that you will get help but most of all that you will find peace within yourself to overcome this disorder. I think about you every day. There is a reason you popped into my mind after several years and I found you here struggling more than ever. Just like me. We may weight different numbers, but you and I are EXACTLY the same. I understand how you get to be 700 pounds. That's what we have that the outsiders don't. I know how it happens, and I know that we can overcome and survive.

Re: From Kathy in Florida

[seeking_joely]

thank you kathy for all your kind words and prayers, they really mean a lot to me. i am still fighting and will keep fighting, i hope you do the same. i'll have to check out that author, thanks for the suggestion.

Hang in there

[anonymous]

I've been following your challenges for years, and offer my best wishes. Might I suggest asking your doctor to try something for a few months to see if it helps? An SSRI like Prozac. See http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16197794