I want to talk to Senna.. I want to tell her everything. But I'm just too fucking insecure. Distractions don't put my mind at ease, they only make me think it's right to bottle everything up. I don't know what to do. I spoke with my mother, why don't I feel better yet?

I woke up from another nightmare. It was so real it made me sick. I had to go to the restroom to throw up. Nightmares have never made me physically ill before. I really hope this never happens again. I don't think I woke Senna up but I'm not going back to our room until I finish writing in this ( Read more... )

I'm so sick of everything. I keep distancing myself from Senna and I keep getting lost in thought. I must have scared her a lot in the past week. I've been trying to shut it all out when I'm with her, so I can deal with it later, but I guess it shows through. Christina tried to get me to talk to her, but I don't feel like it. I'm sick of being ( Read more... )

I haven't been feeling well lately. I went to see Dermot and I found out my mother visited Bruss a couple times since I last saw them. Said she just wanted to see how he was doing ( Read more... )

Just woke up. Felt like I should write something. I'm not very good at this and I don't really have a whole lot on my mind. Tonight was great. Hope we didn't disturb Varen ( Read more... )

Long time no write. Hell, now that it comes down to it, I don't know what to say anymore. If I've done something wrong, please let her forgive me. More than anything, I hope Culgan is all right. I hope he'll always be all right. Best man I've ever known, he deserves everything that makes him happy ( Read more... )

She left. I'm alone.

Senna is so beautiful.

I'm glad I could talk to Christina last night. I would've written something last night after I finished talking with her, but it was late and my hand was still killing me from the last entry I wrote. I really hope she's feeling at least a little better now, but she only got maybe 2 hours of sleep. I hope she wasn't late for work this morning. Two ( Read more... )

I'm going to ramble. This isn't going to make a lick of sense. I'll start talking about one thing then all of a sudden, it's going to turn into something else that's only slightly related. Well, it all makes sense to me, what I'm thinking, but I know when looking over it, if I tried to look at it from someone else's point of view, it'd be ( Read more... )