Comments | secritcrush: Revenge of the Petty Sort

secritcrush

Revenge of the Petty Sort

Feb 23, 2013 14:10

So there's a woman who keeps emailing me and thinks I am her mother. I've sent her a couple of emails back saying she was emailing the wrong person. She is apparently not the brightest of bulbs because both times she's responded to those emails with "Mum? Did you get it this time ( Read more... )

polls

Comments 17

wldhrsjen3 February 23 2013, 15:14:57 UTC

Guilt trip! "You never visit me! You never send me flowers or cards or gifts! My hip hurts and I need someone to do the grocery shopping for me. When are you coming to the house?" I'd go on for _pages._ That should do the trick! ;)

secritcrush February 23 2013, 15:28:11 UTC

Ha! Though I imagine that won't work as she appears to be heloing her Mum redecorate (she sends me lots of pictures of chairs.)

barbarienne February 24 2013, 19:38:41 UTC

I said "send money" though I also like "I'm getting remarried." Either of those will likely prompt an in-person conversation that might lead your doofus correspondent to conclude that she has the wrong email address.

dorianegray February 23 2013, 15:16:48 UTC

Sorry love, I killed your mum for being an annoying cow. It obviously runs in the family, so let me know where you live and I'll come and kill you, too.

secritcrush February 23 2013, 15:30:42 UTC

Tempting, but threatening murder is probably a step too far. Though maybe I will ask for her address and send her a box of meat. That has been sitting in the sun for a week.

lamentables February 23 2013, 15:54:24 UTC

"It's time I told you that I'm not really your mother. I found you in the cereal aisle of the supermarket and I needed a child to programme my VCR. I don't really want you any more, now that I've got Tivo."

secritcrush February 23 2013, 19:51:56 UTC

If only I had a Tivo!

nwhyte February 23 2013, 18:03:59 UTC

Can't you do both the first and fourth? Please send £1000 to help pay for the wedding?

purplecthulhu February 23 2013, 19:19:54 UTC

Or 3 and 4...

I'm a furry and I'm marrying Mr Cuddlegoat (who may, or may not, turn out to be a goat).

secritcrush February 23 2013, 19:50:29 UTC

I wonder which one he is.

secritcrush February 23 2013, 19:51:14 UTC

Maybe I can work them all in.

houseboatonstyx February 23 2013, 19:08:48 UTC

How old is she? What is her health condition? Downs Syndrome?

There are obvious ways this could turn out horribly regrettable.

secritcrush February 23 2013, 19:48:26 UTC

What I know:

She has an iphone.
She can take pictures with it.
She can email (badly) from it.
She knows what chairs and curtains are.
She (allegedly) can arrange deliveries from John Lewis.