wow. i completely fucking love my life. last night was so fucking awesome. michat came home for north jersey and completely surpriseeeed me. i have the bestest boyfriend ever.

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monster. reeses peanut butter cups. newport 100's. jeep.

theres only one person who can calm me down when im this upset and scared. its been the same person for years and the day i come home and need him most he leaves for 2 months. =[

i dont remember the last time i felt this shitty. im so fucking upset with everything and i can't take it.

for once in my life id just like to meet someone who is very reliable and who wont judge me. why the fuck is that so hard?

 ill never understand how people can hate life so much. rest in peace scott.

 i constantly sit here and tell myself i can handle whatevers thrown my way. i always just blow it off and say im 18 ima big girl. ill be fine and its not the truth. i cant continue to constantly fuck up like this. i need to get my shit straight. as much as i think i have it all together, i don't and it amkes me so upset when my closest friends ( Read more... )

i just want my boyfriend back.
 

 i think its time that i face the fact the people i surround myself with arent good for me.