My stepmom was in my dream for the first time in a while. I was explaining to her how dangerous I was and she said "how can you be dangerous when all you do is lay on the couch". my subconscious self esteem was blasted to peices. It was after I had followed her, this beautiful women who was everything i'm not, and her young son around a fair. we ( Read more... )

There is a time machine in the bathroom and your closet is a portal to narnia. I was trying to sleep, avoiding portals, listening to you fucking in the bathroom, as I wondered what the chances of being reincarnated as your fucked up spawn would be if i killed myself right now. I feel like my boring life has no grounds and there will never be any

Make lots of money. Get my own place. laptop/camera, take photography and belly dancing classes, go to a couple of  festivals?, meet lots of cool people, modelling?, write and draw all the time, burn in hell, collect costumes, start web page type thing/get more accomplished at computer type stuff, become my own woman.

 planning on doing a three day fast, than going vegan. I just feel like it is a way to be that makes sense. especially with the fucked up, wasteful ways of the world . I'd like to be done being selfish and/or apathetic. that dont make you feel so good. however, sometimes it seems like rebellion doesnt mean shit. sure you can be a vegan but (at ( Read more... )

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life is crazy and so am I. but honestly, asking politely for masochism can be HEALTHY mother fuckers.... and so is calling you on your bull shit.

Had a childish, borderline personality-style break down this morning. there was a blizzard and I missed my bus. basically my boyfriend ended up calling me pathetic and that he couldnt see how I could do my job well. I can pull it togethor as soon as I need to. that comes from living in an oppressive/semi abusive enviroment, i guess ( Read more... )

1. The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds
2. Van Morrison - Astral Weeks
3. The Beatles - Revolver
4. The Rolling Stones - Exile On Main Street
5. Bob Dylan - Highway 61 Revisited
6. Marvin Gaye - What’s Going On
7. The Rolling Stones - Let It Bleed
8. Bob Dylan - Blonde On Blonde
9. The Velvet Underground - The Velvet Underground And Nico
10. Patti Smith - ( Read more... )

I had a really nice dream the other night. I was hanging out in a parking lot teenage style with some old friends. We sang this;

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Placebo love

We kiss and you say "mmm, strawberry". This lip gloss is flavorless.