Comments | sebastian1971: ex fiancees and engagement rings

sebastian1971

ex fiancees and engagement rings

Jul 23, 2009 22:11

how would you persuade an ex fiancee to return an engagement ring? You need it back for financial reasons but she doesnt listen to your requests or make any attempt to understand the situation you are in ( Read more... )

Comments 20

emperor July 23 2009, 21:56:10 UTC

ii) I think - you'll struggle to persuade a court that an engagement ring isn't a gift, I think. Also, reconciliation good generally.

sebastian1971 July 23 2009, 22:51:14 UTC

but i never said the ring was hers, so what constitutes a gift?

astartesyriaca July 23 2009, 21:58:06 UTC

Engagement rings are gifts. They are a token symbolizing the proposal. When accepted, they symbolize a pending marriage. If that doesn't work out, the decent thing to do is to give the ring back, but no way do I think that it is required. I think it is rather tacky to ask for it.

sebastian1971 July 23 2009, 22:01:37 UTC

it would be tacky to ask it back if one was simpl being petulant but in this case the financial concerns outweigh such sensibilities entirely

astartesyriaca July 23 2009, 22:13:27 UTC

Sounds like you have a pretty clear opinion, so why ask?

And I don't think that the financial concerns make it any less tacky to ask. Necessary, perhaps, but still tacky. From the tone of this query, it sounds as if it is being approached in entirely the wrong way (with a sense of entitlement), rather than the recognition that it WAS a gift, but that perhaps, considering the situation, one that should be rescinded.

So I suppose option 2. Options 1 and 3 are ridiculous.

sebastian1971 July 23 2009, 22:16:18 UTC

of course option 2 is the first course of action but if it fails (which i think likely) then what?

Thread 6

atreic July 23 2009, 22:09:52 UTC

Oh, I did a poll on this once - here Random people from the internet said there is caselaw that you don't get it back if you take the legal route.

sebastian1971 July 23 2009, 22:13:05 UTC

so public shaming/attempt reconciliation/other?
what would you do to close a £500 gap?

atreic July 24 2009, 07:05:30 UTC

I think she's under less obligation to offer you the ring back because you broke off the engagement than if she did. I think I would rather try to borrow 50 pounds off 10 friends than go back to a woman who I'd dumped and demand an engagement ring back for purely financial reasons ( ... )

meirion July 24 2009, 08:50:18 UTC

I know it's only once a week, but there's a charity lunch for £2.50 at LSM on Fridays at 13h00 so that would at least see you get one meal a week. I'm aware this is not much help ....

Reconciliation, and attempting to appeal to her better nature, is the option I'd choose. Anything else is just likely to end up making you out to be a cad.

I'm not much cop at making money myself (I do work for people who then refuse to pay me) so I can't offer useful suggestions there.

Thread 6

(The comment has been removed)

sebastian1971 July 23 2009, 23:48:25 UTC

well tbh it was largely mutual, and i instigated the break up, but there is
still £500 at stake, a small claims action would cost £50 if i lost.

sebastian1971 July 24 2009, 00:31:54 UTC

which is basically i broke off the engagement and asked for the ring back at the time

astartesyriaca July 24 2009, 08:04:00 UTC

It seems like you only want opinions that agree with or support your own, since, at trying to respond to you this morning, you deleted a whole host of other comments - including your own continued questions trying to suggest "moral obligation". Why ask?

You asked why I was being nasty. I'm not, just offering an honest opinion as to why I find your query inappropriate (which you deleted, wonder why?). You just need to move on.