Tinker, player, soldier, spy...

[sealwhiskers]

By now, most people have at least tangentially heard of "players" as in pick-up artists a la Neil Strauss' "the Game". Guys who have a whole sub-culture of methods on how to "pick up hot women and "get sex

Comments

[stefan11]

'could be material for a longer study, a story, a book...

[sealwhiskers]

I think, while I would most definitely use a character like this type in a story I wrote, I'd not want to devote a whole book on it. Some recent thoughts just made me want to summarize some things and write them down.
I really agree with you though, that the time is supremely ripe for a proper study and book on players in general, and maybe even on borderline personality disorder, and all the shapes it can take, because we do encounter such individuals pretty regularly in daily life.

[stefan11]

http://www.amazon.com/Special-Karma-Novel-Love-Folly/dp/1453887210

based on the author's encounters with Eido Shimano Roshi (who, by the way, used to be my Zen teacher).

[sealwhiskers]

the first to address the issue of sexual misconduct by a Zen master...
Special Karma is the only novel I know of that presents the theme of the sexual misconduct of a Zen master

This looks like a really interesting read!
The author sounds like a person who gained a lot of personal wisdom and used it in a good way.

[catsidhe]

As far as I can tell, the entire set of instructions for "The Game" can be summarised as: "Be, or make a good impression of being, on the Psychopathy Spectrum."

Really. The whole point of the exercise is to manipulate other people for your own gratification without regard to their feelings. That's basically the definition of a psychopath.

And the thing about psychopaths is that their very presence in your life is poisonous.

[striver]

Nod nod... That sums up what I was thinking, catsidhe, psychopathy. Very toxic people.

[sealwhiskers]

Possibly toxic and definitely dysfunctional, although psychopathy is its own very heavy bag of bones, and should not be called on lightly.

[sealwhiskers]

This is why pick-up artists, like the ones in "The Game" can only function in the very basic of short snapshots of social situations (a couple of nights in a bar, a one-night stand, etc etc) with the same person. And also why they have to compartmentalize and rationalize their behavior so much - unless they really have streaks of psychopathy of course, which I don't think the bulk of them have (although I wouldn't rule out many of them having other issues, of the kind I touch upon in this post).

[blue_mangos]

Incredibly insightful. I'm just sorry it took you, or any of us, going through this to reach this level of understanding. From what I've read on borderline personality disorder it is often born of trauma and I have a great deal of sympathy for that. But not to the point where it can be allowed to adversely affect my life and emotional well-being.

[sealwhiskers]

Well, to be fair, I've known people who've had bad traumas and processed them in ways that were healthier and without a disorder in the long run. I think there needs to be other seeds and inclinations except the childhood one, for a person to turn out this way.

Thanks for reading btw, the ppl going through this lengthy text are impressive readers, haha. I just thought I should finally get my thoughts on this down, so I can use it in future writing or something.

[sealwhiskers]

Thanks! In these short thymes of ze faceboob you never know... ;)

[kejn]

half of the people at my work place seem to be players. all successful politicians are. i think most people should come with a warning sign:
"may contain traces of a player and pick-up artist"
;-)

[sealwhiskers]

Oh come now Cookie, do half of your work mates create push-pull flare ups/make-ups bi-monthly?

A pick up artist is not necessarily a player, it's just someone who uses certain methods that are superficially the same to reach a goal through marketing. I can believe that all successful politicians need to have some skill in that, but I actually think a politician's long run success would be severely tampered with if he/she was a real player on the BPD scale of things.

If you believe this is the behavior of most humans, it simply means my text isn't very well written.

[kejn]

no, it just means i see people as potentially life threatening allergens. :)

[sealwhiskers]

Well, if it makes any difference, YOU have been one of those humans who've scored extremely low on these traits, in my observations. You're just a a great human and a great friend.

[geezer_also]

It was interesting, possibly over analyzed, but it's it's your journal :D

I'm a compulsive reader and I would have read it even if there would have been a cut :P
(I have a "cut" fetish, what can I say)

[sealwhiskers]

Well, I often screw over lj-cut like that, when it's text and not photos! :)