Prisoners of Purolator
On August 9th I ordered a t-shirt for my wife from ThinkGeek.com for her birthday on August 28th. On August 23rd, they sent me an e-mail to tell me they were cancelling the order since I didn't respond to their "Please confirm your shipping address" e-mail (which I never received). So I re-ordered it on August 23rd, and paid extra to have it priority shipped by Purolator, so that it might still arrive in time for her birthday.
A tragic, tragic error, and one I shall not make again. Here is a brief calendar of the nightmare that is Trying To Get My Package From Purolator:
Friday, August 26th
Purolator attempts to deliver the package at 11am, but no-one is home. They leave a message, and I call in, to be informed that I can pick up my package at 100 Arrow Road in Downsview. I don't have a car, so we're talking either a $40 cab ride each way, or a 2-hour TTC run each way. I tell them I will /try/ to pick it up today, but if I don't, please re-send it on Monday. The timing doesn't work out, so I don't go out to Downsview, and have to content myself that Mrs. Clubber's t-shirt will arrive the day after her birthday (which is Sunday).
Monday
By 1pm the package hasn't arrived, and we'd like to go out (as opposed to waiting around all day for the package), so I check the status online: Awaiting pickup as requested by customer. No, no, no. I call them up, and the operator tells me oops, yes, she can see where it was supposed to be delivered, so sorry, it will be sent tomorrow. The error was that my original instructions (will try to pick it up, if not picked up, please re-deliver) hadn't been logged with the package yet. The package will be sent first thing Tuesday morning, and will definitely be at my place before noon.
Mrs. Clubber and I can now go out, so we do. When we get home, there is a message on the answering machine: as per my instructions, my package is now ready to be picked up at the Downsview location. I get on the phone (it is now 5pm), and after being "held in priority sequence" for 45 minutes, give up and hang up.
Tuesday
I get on the phone at 8am to confirm my package is indeed being sent today. Nope, as per my instructions, it is sitting in the Downsview location. The woman on the line informs me that they can't possibly ship it to me today; I have to give them 24 hours' notice if I want it re-delivered. I insist that I have done so, but have no confirmation number to back my foolish claims up, so I have to content myself with the guarantee that it will be sent by Wednesday prior to noon.
Wednesday (today)
By 12:30 the package has not arrived, so I check status online once again: With delivery courier. Okay, good, they're sending it. Still, my Spider-Sense is tingling, so I call in to check anyhow. The woman on the phone informs me that I'll have to re-schedule another pick-up, since the delivery man tried to deliver it today but there was no answer.
Anger... rising...
What do you mean, 'no answer'? I've been here all day, up since 8am, waiting for this package. I've made sure the phone line was kept free (our lobby-buzzer is tied to our phone line) just so he could make the delivery.
It turns out he didn't have the buzz-code. He tried entering my 3-digit apartment number as the buzz-code, despite the fact that (a) the buzz-codes clearly must be 4 digits in length, and (b) that he had my apartment number and last name and was standing in front of the buzz-code directory, and, surprise surprise, nothing happened. He tried this at 12:20.
I glance at the time: 12:28. Are you telling me this guy was here 8 minutes ago, and didn't try to come up and knock on my door, he just pushed a 3-digit best-guess and then gave up?? ...yes, that's exactly what she is telling me. More, she is being reproachful that I failed to include my buzz-code when I placed my order with ThinkGeek, so that Purolator's chimp-like delivery guys would have to strain their dubiously-proportioned grey matter by looking it up on the directory in front of them.
So: she eventually does me the magnanimous favour of arranging to have the driver paged. He will try to make his way back to my apartment before 5pm today, but if he can't, then it is up to me to call them and re-schedule a pickup. "And this time," she says with a soft 'we could have avoided all of this if only you'd done it right' tone of voice, "be sure to include the buzz-code."
So now we are trapped in the apartment again as we wait for this t-shirt. We can't use the phone, do laundry, take a shower, anything that takes us away from the phone. If Delivery Guy does not make it back here today (and I gotta say, I'm not expecting him to), I'm going to call them up and tell them just to hold the package there; since they appear to be incompetent and incapable of actually delivering a package, I will borrow my parents' car and drive out there to get it myself.
I can't wait until people at work ask me "So how did you spend your vacation?" and I can say "Waiting for a fucking T-SHIRT".
This is one of those times (and there are many) where I wish I was a millionaire so that it would actually matter to companies when I said "I will never use your services again". I will never use Purolator's services again.
A tragic, tragic error, and one I shall not make again. Here is a brief calendar of the nightmare that is Trying To Get My Package From Purolator:
Friday, August 26th
Purolator attempts to deliver the package at 11am, but no-one is home. They leave a message, and I call in, to be informed that I can pick up my package at 100 Arrow Road in Downsview. I don't have a car, so we're talking either a $40 cab ride each way, or a 2-hour TTC run each way. I tell them I will /try/ to pick it up today, but if I don't, please re-send it on Monday. The timing doesn't work out, so I don't go out to Downsview, and have to content myself that Mrs. Clubber's t-shirt will arrive the day after her birthday (which is Sunday).
Monday
By 1pm the package hasn't arrived, and we'd like to go out (as opposed to waiting around all day for the package), so I check the status online: Awaiting pickup as requested by customer. No, no, no. I call them up, and the operator tells me oops, yes, she can see where it was supposed to be delivered, so sorry, it will be sent tomorrow. The error was that my original instructions (will try to pick it up, if not picked up, please re-deliver) hadn't been logged with the package yet. The package will be sent first thing Tuesday morning, and will definitely be at my place before noon.
Mrs. Clubber and I can now go out, so we do. When we get home, there is a message on the answering machine: as per my instructions, my package is now ready to be picked up at the Downsview location. I get on the phone (it is now 5pm), and after being "held in priority sequence" for 45 minutes, give up and hang up.
Tuesday
I get on the phone at 8am to confirm my package is indeed being sent today. Nope, as per my instructions, it is sitting in the Downsview location. The woman on the line informs me that they can't possibly ship it to me today; I have to give them 24 hours' notice if I want it re-delivered. I insist that I have done so, but have no confirmation number to back my foolish claims up, so I have to content myself with the guarantee that it will be sent by Wednesday prior to noon.
Wednesday (today)
By 12:30 the package has not arrived, so I check status online once again: With delivery courier. Okay, good, they're sending it. Still, my Spider-Sense is tingling, so I call in to check anyhow. The woman on the phone informs me that I'll have to re-schedule another pick-up, since the delivery man tried to deliver it today but there was no answer.
Anger... rising...
What do you mean, 'no answer'? I've been here all day, up since 8am, waiting for this package. I've made sure the phone line was kept free (our lobby-buzzer is tied to our phone line) just so he could make the delivery.
It turns out he didn't have the buzz-code. He tried entering my 3-digit apartment number as the buzz-code, despite the fact that (a) the buzz-codes clearly must be 4 digits in length, and (b) that he had my apartment number and last name and was standing in front of the buzz-code directory, and, surprise surprise, nothing happened. He tried this at 12:20.
I glance at the time: 12:28. Are you telling me this guy was here 8 minutes ago, and didn't try to come up and knock on my door, he just pushed a 3-digit best-guess and then gave up?? ...yes, that's exactly what she is telling me. More, she is being reproachful that I failed to include my buzz-code when I placed my order with ThinkGeek, so that Purolator's chimp-like delivery guys would have to strain their dubiously-proportioned grey matter by looking it up on the directory in front of them.
So: she eventually does me the magnanimous favour of arranging to have the driver paged. He will try to make his way back to my apartment before 5pm today, but if he can't, then it is up to me to call them and re-schedule a pickup. "And this time," she says with a soft 'we could have avoided all of this if only you'd done it right' tone of voice, "be sure to include the buzz-code."
So now we are trapped in the apartment again as we wait for this t-shirt. We can't use the phone, do laundry, take a shower, anything that takes us away from the phone. If Delivery Guy does not make it back here today (and I gotta say, I'm not expecting him to), I'm going to call them up and tell them just to hold the package there; since they appear to be incompetent and incapable of actually delivering a package, I will borrow my parents' car and drive out there to get it myself.
I can't wait until people at work ask me "So how did you spend your vacation?" and I can say "Waiting for a fucking T-SHIRT".
This is one of those times (and there are many) where I wish I was a millionaire so that it would actually matter to companies when I said "I will never use your services again". I will never use Purolator's services again.