i can't have what i need.

i'm coming to accept the fact that my cabbage is probably cooked, but jesus christ i'm going to wish it wasn't for the next few months. total bummer. at least everything else in real life (school, friends, artistic inspiration) is going well.

oh god my only weakness

i can taste it, spring is here. i may lose my will to cope with real reality, and enter the real world.

christ.

today i get re-upped and also this weekend i'm going to get mad drunk. jessie attempted to try and not be a bitch and act like she wanted to come see me, but i denied her. fuck that, all she's going to do is jump all over me and try to kiss me and shit. not in the mood.

v day is going to fuck with me a lot this year. i don't know why though. i guess that's just how it is.

my life has been significantly better since my car broke down and i've been out of work. things are so much simpler. sometimes i wish i had the car, but since i've been walking, riding my bike, and exercising i've felt so much better. i don't really worry about how lonely i am, i'm content with myself and staying fit. also right now has been ( Read more... )

i have a good feeling about this year. i miss a woman's touch to be honest. i love being completely reliant on walking.

i'm not moving
i'm not going anywhere
i've realized how much free time i have here
i've realized how much i love my friends
i'm less than 2 years away from completing school here
i can wait for grad school for a serious education
i can wait to meet more people after school