The Longest Journey: Prologue!
HI EVERYBODY MY BRAIN HURTS
Well, here I am, trying my hand at a screencap adventure. I'm going to be playing The Longest Journey, a game made in 1999 in Norway. It's a fun game, full of AMUSING DIALOGUE, with faintly awkward CG and a lovely take on DA FUTUUUURE. Or the past. It all depends on how you look at it.
Anyway! Never heard of it? I think you'll enjoy it.
Today's tale is the prologue, 154 screenshots encompassing three sets of conversations.
No, seriously.
I think I might be doing it wrong.
Prologue (you are here)
Chapter 1: Penumbra - Part 1
This is the menu! Yes, the Start, Load, and Quit buttons are child's drawings. TRUST ME THEY'RE IMPORTANT.
Spooky. I still don't understand this game's chapter titles, btw.
Our game begins ... with an old women and two apparently Germanic teenagers. Except they look and sound like adults.
Why, yes, old woman. Yes we have.
BUT WE'RE IN ONE NOW, AREN'T WE.
*insert dramatic music here*
Funcom. I have never heard of you since playing this game, really.
YADDAAAAAH
Credits! At the beginning! But only the important ones, naturally. :|
Time for a cutscene! Oo, spooky tower.
And a glowy man, suspended between what looks like a gigantic glowing polyp. I ... skipped that screenshot.
Paintings on walls! Amazing! Looks suspiciously similar to our glowing fellow.
WOAH IS THAT A --
Keep an eye on these dragons. They are important. And they come back a lot.
HEY HE'S AWAKE ISN'T THAT JOYFUL? Oh wait, no, it's not. Trust me, it's not.
One of the dragons is now eating the other's tail more than before. I'm not sure how clearly that was captured by the screenshots (I had to be a fast mofo becuase this thing doesn't automatically save shots). And the guy from before has stepped down from his glowing light pillar. I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS DO YOU
Welcome to the future! Kinda crowded, I think.
And say hello to the game's protagonist, April Ryan. She provides the most entertaining dialogue I've seen in a game yet.
... aaaaand now our bed has vanished and we're standing on the precipice of a strange and mystical landscape. Pretty.
We'd all like that, I think.
Up there at the top of the screen is our Inventory (on the left) and Menu and Quit (on the right) buttons. Menu is the Diary. Quit is the ... circle ... thing. Also, Inventory is, for some odd reason, a trunk. Do we carry a trunk around with us at all times? I'm confused.
By clicking on the landscape when the cursor turns into an eye, you can hear what April has to say about that particular item. For some reason, the cursor only shows up on occasion, but it fortunately adds that little subtitle so you know wtf I'm pointing at.
As I said, the cursor shows up sometimes. When it's broken like that, you can't do anything. NOT EVEN SAVE. Anyway, apparently April's life sucks. Even in her dreams.
Click on her and she says this. Tee hee, semi-nudity.
Let's walk over to the right side of the screen! Gotta be more to do over there.
A wild earthquake appears! And it appears to have shaken something large and white out of its little nest. I WONDER WHAT IT IS
When you select an interactable item, this menu pops up. The three slots are Eye, to look at it, Mouth, to talk with/taste/eat it, and Hand, to grab or touch it. Y'know. The usual. But in shiny blue!
Girl done be afraid o' rep-tiiiiles. Let's try to grab it instead.
Hm. Well, that was a failure. Let's look at the nest it came out of, instead.
And go where? You're on a cliff. OH I KNOW LET'S HIDE BEHIND THAT TREE OVER THERE
The little dagger-like thing indicates that you can interact with an item/person. Snap right off in a second, hmmm ...? LET'S GRAB IT
IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIVE
AND ... EMO
An apt conversation.
"YOU'RE A TALKING TREE?"
"No. Trees don't talk. :|"
" ... oh."
Ouch. Yes, I'm only human, there's nothing I can do about it. YEH LEAFY BASTARD, AH'LL DO WHUT AH PLEEZ
Pick your line of conversation! Let's work our way down the list. Or so. Learn more about this strange, fantastical world of emo tree-spirits and eggs that we've landed in.
The Mother and the Black Chaos. Keep those terms in mind, I'm sure they'll be useful later.
WHY DON'T YOU KILL YOURSELF THE -- oh, wait.
BURN wait no. Seriously though, you can hear the tree-spirit being all condescending and soforth. It's like, "Oh, no, not a human. You can't help us. :|"
Words to live by. RIP, Douglas Adams. *sob*
Friendly. So now our goal is to find some way to bring water to the tree, so the spirit will stop being an emotard and save the egg. TO THE NEARBY STREAM!
Fifteen bucks? INFLATION AHOY
This is your inventory. Right now we have one thing in it: that twig we broke off from the tree. We're terrible environmentalists, aren't we? Let's find something else to grab. BACK TO THE CLIFF!
Grab the nest. It had scales in it. Very large scales.
A souvenier ... from your dream.
And now to combine these two items, because wtf else are we going to do with them? Click on one (either) and click it on the other, aaand ...
A FUNNEL HOORAY let's use it on that stream.
Set down the funnel and enjoy another brief cutscene of the tree turning less emo!
ISN'T IT LOVELY?
Let's go talk to it again.
Great babysitter, isn't it.
Close save.
AND THEN SOMETHING LARGE FLIES BY but very quickly so I couldn't get a decent screencap of it.
O SH - IT'S A DRAGON GET IN THE CAR
Long drawn-out conversation goes here.
In every single game, I hear a line similar to that. Or I manage to get it eventually. I am always on my own. :<
And then we hear a loud noise from the edge of the cliff.
Even the great big dragon is kind of worried about it. Let's lean over the edge of the cliff to find out what it is!
O SHI --
Large black oozing thing shoots white lasers at me. YAIGHT
NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo
WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? WILL WE SURVIVE THE FALL? WILL WE WAKE UP? TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ... CHAPTER ONE!
... ow ow ow. God I love this game, but taking these screenshots kind of hurts.
Well, here I am, trying my hand at a screencap adventure. I'm going to be playing The Longest Journey, a game made in 1999 in Norway. It's a fun game, full of AMUSING DIALOGUE, with faintly awkward CG and a lovely take on DA FUTUUUURE. Or the past. It all depends on how you look at it.
Anyway! Never heard of it? I think you'll enjoy it.
Today's tale is the prologue, 154 screenshots encompassing three sets of conversations.
No, seriously.
I think I might be doing it wrong.
Prologue (you are here)
Chapter 1: Penumbra - Part 1
This is the menu! Yes, the Start, Load, and Quit buttons are child's drawings. TRUST ME THEY'RE IMPORTANT.
Spooky. I still don't understand this game's chapter titles, btw.
Our game begins ... with an old women and two apparently Germanic teenagers. Except they look and sound like adults.
Why, yes, old woman. Yes we have.
BUT WE'RE IN ONE NOW, AREN'T WE.
*insert dramatic music here*
Funcom. I have never heard of you since playing this game, really.
YADDAAAAAH
Credits! At the beginning! But only the important ones, naturally. :|
Time for a cutscene! Oo, spooky tower.
And a glowy man, suspended between what looks like a gigantic glowing polyp. I ... skipped that screenshot.
Paintings on walls! Amazing! Looks suspiciously similar to our glowing fellow.
WOAH IS THAT A --
Keep an eye on these dragons. They are important. And they come back a lot.
HEY HE'S AWAKE ISN'T THAT JOYFUL? Oh wait, no, it's not. Trust me, it's not.
One of the dragons is now eating the other's tail more than before. I'm not sure how clearly that was captured by the screenshots (I had to be a fast mofo becuase this thing doesn't automatically save shots). And the guy from before has stepped down from his glowing light pillar. I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS DO YOU
Welcome to the future! Kinda crowded, I think.
And say hello to the game's protagonist, April Ryan. She provides the most entertaining dialogue I've seen in a game yet.
... aaaaand now our bed has vanished and we're standing on the precipice of a strange and mystical landscape. Pretty.
We'd all like that, I think.
Up there at the top of the screen is our Inventory (on the left) and Menu and Quit (on the right) buttons. Menu is the Diary. Quit is the ... circle ... thing. Also, Inventory is, for some odd reason, a trunk. Do we carry a trunk around with us at all times? I'm confused.
By clicking on the landscape when the cursor turns into an eye, you can hear what April has to say about that particular item. For some reason, the cursor only shows up on occasion, but it fortunately adds that little subtitle so you know wtf I'm pointing at.
As I said, the cursor shows up sometimes. When it's broken like that, you can't do anything. NOT EVEN SAVE. Anyway, apparently April's life sucks. Even in her dreams.
Click on her and she says this. Tee hee, semi-nudity.
Let's walk over to the right side of the screen! Gotta be more to do over there.
A wild earthquake appears! And it appears to have shaken something large and white out of its little nest. I WONDER WHAT IT IS
When you select an interactable item, this menu pops up. The three slots are Eye, to look at it, Mouth, to talk with/taste/eat it, and Hand, to grab or touch it. Y'know. The usual. But in shiny blue!
Girl done be afraid o' rep-tiiiiles. Let's try to grab it instead.
Hm. Well, that was a failure. Let's look at the nest it came out of, instead.
And go where? You're on a cliff. OH I KNOW LET'S HIDE BEHIND THAT TREE OVER THERE
The little dagger-like thing indicates that you can interact with an item/person. Snap right off in a second, hmmm ...? LET'S GRAB IT
IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIVE
AND ... EMO
An apt conversation.
"YOU'RE A TALKING TREE?"
"No. Trees don't talk. :|"
" ... oh."
Ouch. Yes, I'm only human, there's nothing I can do about it. YEH LEAFY BASTARD, AH'LL DO WHUT AH PLEEZ
Pick your line of conversation! Let's work our way down the list. Or so. Learn more about this strange, fantastical world of emo tree-spirits and eggs that we've landed in.
The Mother and the Black Chaos. Keep those terms in mind, I'm sure they'll be useful later.
WHY DON'T YOU KILL YOURSELF THE -- oh, wait.
BURN wait no. Seriously though, you can hear the tree-spirit being all condescending and soforth. It's like, "Oh, no, not a human. You can't help us. :|"
Words to live by. RIP, Douglas Adams. *sob*
Friendly. So now our goal is to find some way to bring water to the tree, so the spirit will stop being an emotard and save the egg. TO THE NEARBY STREAM!
Fifteen bucks? INFLATION AHOY
This is your inventory. Right now we have one thing in it: that twig we broke off from the tree. We're terrible environmentalists, aren't we? Let's find something else to grab. BACK TO THE CLIFF!
Grab the nest. It had scales in it. Very large scales.
A souvenier ... from your dream.
And now to combine these two items, because wtf else are we going to do with them? Click on one (either) and click it on the other, aaand ...
A FUNNEL HOORAY let's use it on that stream.
Set down the funnel and enjoy another brief cutscene of the tree turning less emo!
ISN'T IT LOVELY?
Let's go talk to it again.
Great babysitter, isn't it.
Close save.
AND THEN SOMETHING LARGE FLIES BY but very quickly so I couldn't get a decent screencap of it.
O SH - IT'S A DRAGON GET IN THE CAR
Long drawn-out conversation goes here.
In every single game, I hear a line similar to that. Or I manage to get it eventually. I am always on my own. :<
And then we hear a loud noise from the edge of the cliff.
Even the great big dragon is kind of worried about it. Let's lean over the edge of the cliff to find out what it is!
O SHI --
Large black oozing thing shoots white lasers at me. YAIGHT
NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo
WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? WILL WE SURVIVE THE FALL? WILL WE WAKE UP? TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ... CHAPTER ONE!
... ow ow ow. God I love this game, but taking these screenshots kind of hurts.