Ive been doing a lot of diary posting over at the lunchbox forums

The month of May I barely ate which is probably good because the month of June I've been binging like crazy. No purge. Runs are going better I am increasing both my miles and my speed. A lot of heavy family shit I need a BREAK. Miss y'all

 made my goal weight for the month
the guy I have a crush on is dating someone else
the guy I had a crush on in high school 10 years ago finally noticed me and thinks Im hot- too bad he is now in WI 
it is so F-ing hot I might melt
I need a boyfriend and a hobby. Maybe I can multi task?

 So I don't know how it is possible to go to bed last night and feel pretty upbeat about my life and then wake up and feel down.  Maybe it's because I ate yesterday and did not work out. Part of me is like ok...it happens sometimes. I mean I was getting really weak not eating. The other part of me feels disgusted. I don't know if weighing myself ( Read more... )

 I need to find some more of my old friends on here. I'm quite lonely actually

lost 6lbs

feeling much better

drank some warm liquids to fill me. sweet relief 

a friend from the past I cut ties with wants to hang out tomorrow. I decided to distance myself in the past because I felt like  I was doing some pretty bad things around her...so I'm not sure if I want to do this. But she was also my best friend and someone I felt really knew me. So I am contemplating going...

 Just received a wedding invite from a very dear friend of mine in college, Megan. She will be married July 31st. All I can think is I must be as thin as I was when I graduated. If you recall from my previous post that was the year when things got bad. Well they got bad again in 08. I go through these vicious cycles. I starve myself thin and work ( Read more... )

 Wow its been forever since I've posted here. I really dont think any of my old friends are here- but maybe I will make new ones! So whats happened since my last post?

In the 2005-2006 school year my eating disorder got quite bad 
In June 2006 I graduated with a bachelors degree
In August 2007 I started graduate school
In August 2009 I got my masters ( Read more... )

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

so here is some very focused mental notes that will probably come out all in a disorganized fashion. A big one. So first off, Ray dumped me. Hardcore. Like he said he all wanted to remain friends and what not but has he called me once to ask me how Im doing since he dumped me? No. I kinda realized he has a lot of growing up to do. Let me back up. I ( Read more... )

ive been writing a lot today and im kinda all written out. im tired of explaining stories and explaining feelings over and over again. But I dont know what else to do to make this feeling go away. Im just about going crazy. I need something. I dont know if its a therapist or what. But I need to change something major in my life. Im so unhappy with ( Read more... )