Alright, so I'm walking in Boston and I see one of those fortune telling machine thingees with the scary lady of possibly eastern european descent hovering over the crystal ball.

I put a quarter in, and this strip of paper comes out that says, YOU'RE HEADED TO THE DL, YOU SORRY SON OF A BITCHWell, actually it said some crap about virtue and being ( Read more... )

Alright, I kept my promise. I'm crying. :)

Hm. Is that a bottle of Tanqueray with MY name on it I spy?

I'm not talking about myself in the third person. I'm merely making a reference to that one movie. You know, that movie, with the....eh, forget it ( Read more... )

What, I'm up to 40 stolen bases now?

And on Fridays back in the 80's, I was always in bed by 8.

And home by 11. Oooh-yah!

P.S.

To all my Oakland buddies: you guys smell like poo.

That's what I said to my ex-girlfriend when she threatened to take away my 8x10's of Jon that are taped to the inside of my suitcase. YOU DO NOT mess with the 8x10's of Gar-boy. Good thing she didn't see the voodoo doll I keep under my bed (I wish it could be 6'6"...sigh), or else she would have fuckin' flipped ( Read more... )

Ben, you won't be a very good co-star if you find me utterly disgusting.

Mark Buehrle and I have been betting on the Connie's Pizza Races that take place in the 7th inning.

So today the pizza race comes up and Mark decides he wants to raise the stakes.

"I bet CHEESE is going to win today."

And I'm all, "yeah, what do you got?"

I already have all his Pokemon cards, his maxed-out platinum Visa, and his collection of ( Read more... )

It seems that in Czech the translation is "podsednik". It dates from around 1800. It was found in the marriage document of an ancestor. It is not in my copy of the ( Read more... )

I so stole 4 bases in one game a few days ago.

....and that was, like, really cool and stuff.

I like making people cry.

That's not a bad thing, is it?

In other news, I fucking rock.

And this ends our broadcast day.