-26- [voice]

[firebornfidelis]

[There is something hollow and raw about her voice. It could have something to do with the fact that she spent the night on the floor of Roy Mustang’s apartment. Not sleeping, unwilling to get up. It could be the weight of this unfathomable loss, hollowing her out since she saw the body yesterday

Comments

[girl_unlocking]

[Processing.]

Yazoo.

[But he helped me with--- (With what? Torturing the wrong guy? Sure, maybe you didn't know, but ...maybe he did. Ya think? And then again, maybe you did after all. Did you?)

No.

But that was wrong, wasn't it? Yes. No. Yes. I don't know. I don't---]

Killed them.

[Still processing.]

And he shot at---

[She just doesn't know anything anymore. Except that she can't trust anyone after this. Maybe a handful, and who knows how long they'll even be alive. She knows her next question doesn't have an answer, but she can't stop herself from asking.]

---why?

[(Come on, Dawn - maybe it's just a misunderstanding. Like with Malfatto? Oh, wait. That's what you get for trusting people. Most of them are probably killers and liars in the end. They'll turn on you, just like in your dream. Still think you know what's what?)]

[firebornfidelis]

Yes.

[Simple. She's sure of it. Reid was there to positively ID him, and he wasn't exactly hiding what he'd done.]

I don't know Dawn. But is there really any reason that could justify it?

[Her voice is not harsh. She screamed herself out already. She is deader sounding now than any time during her recovery from her own death.

The only up side to doing this all over again is that at least this time she didn't have to go through the irrational fears and screaming she was subject to the last time she lost him. Or... at least not as much. She has skipped ahead to being numb.]

[voice]

[girl_unlocking]

[Her answer to the question is very quick.]

No.

[I can't think of a single one and THIS SUCKS because it's Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Colonel Hughes (Roy and Important Corn Guy!) and maybe the mist it's always the mist isn't it maybe it made him go crazy and---

---does that matter?

That's what Malfatto was claiming, too, right? What made this different? Maybe it was all the same. All of it.]

I'm sorry. [And that's NOTHING. Every sorry that came after Riza died hadn't made a difference, either. Not really.]

[voice]

[firebornfidelis]

So am I.

[And part of her wants to try to console Dawn. She knows it must be difficult for her, too. But she just. Can't. Do it. There is nothing anyone can say that could make this better, could make this even remotely all right. Even having killed the man who did it did nothing for Riza but make her feel hollow.

But even if there were some magic words that could take the pain away, she wouldn't be able to say them. There is nothing inside her now capable of reaching out. She has drawn herself in so far that she cannot even reach herself.]

Private | woah icon misfire

[supercilious]

It doesn't seem to cease, does it.

I do not find the execution of killers to be unjust. If that is what you say happened, then I believe you.

I'll schedule your test. Please let me know if... there is any other way I can help.

Private | emotional about face!

[firebornfidelis]

It wasn't meant to be an execution.

[But that sure as hell is what it looks like.]

... I don't know what it was.

But thank you, Arthur. I appreciate it.

Private

[supercilious]

It was self-defense.

Private

[firebornfidelis]

I suppose so.

[Voice]

[i_love_squats]

[What can he say? He did it before himself, and though he wants to protest it, he just... he just doesn't know how without being a hypocrite. At least he came back and realized what he had done; he wondered if anyone else did.]

I'll check on his stuff. Get his things before someone else does.

Riza, I--

[And he shut up, turned it off.]

[Voice]

[firebornfidelis]

Zack--

[But she's too slow. He's already disconnected and she doesn't have the emotional wherewithal to pursue the conversation.]

[private] /One in the eye for magical snobbery!

[lumenrelegandus]

[and still can think of nothing to say. You would think one would get better at this. One only learns the futility of words.

At last, switches to Video long enough to record a salutelike nod to her, and backs officially off.]

[private] don't underestimate muggles, Loopy :)

[firebornfidelis]

[She acknowledges him with a returned nod but there is nothing in her eyes. It is as if she has completely closed off and locked herself up somewhere unreachable.]

[ voice | private ]

[lonestray]

[He hates this. It seems like every time something good happens to either of them, the other is suffering. And he's no better at this no matter how many times it happens--however many times he or those close to him deal with loss. And he's no less awkward with his words than he's ever been, either. If anything...perhaps he has gotten more awkward with them, as there are now those who would listen, and care what he has to say. There's silence for the longest time as nothing but static is recorded, and then he finally speaks, quietly but firmly.]

He'll be back.

[Doesn't say "might" like he did last time. Hope might be as poisonous a thing as it is potent, but sometimes it's all there is to hold onto when everything else is crumbling down.]

...Do you need anything?

[ voice | private ]

[firebornfidelis]

Don't say that.

[She snaps. But at least there is life in her voice now rather than the empty tone from before.]

Just. Don't. I can't, Scar.

[ voice | private ]

[lonestray]

Why not? Would you rather believe he'll stay dead?

[It's harsh, but...again, he's not very good at this. Comfort. Reassurance. And with her, he only knows how to be blunt. How to be honest. It's something of the what his relationship with her has been built on--no lies, nothing hidden; all there was about him has been laid bare for her slowly starting from the first day they spoke.]

[ voice | private ]

[firebornfidelis]

Yes! I would!

[She doesn't have to censor herself, or edit or attempt to appear calmer than she is. He's already seen her at her worst before this, the last time.]

I would rather have no hope than be crushed when it runs out.