so tell me when you're gonna let me in

[wotchesyou]

Who: Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks
When: June 10th, before the masquerade.
Where: The dojo.
Format: Prose to start and then ???
What: Tonks meets up with Remus before the party.
Warnings: N/A

Comments

[lumenrelegandus]

In answer to her call, the appearance of the entrance subtly shifts: rendered brighter, clearer, more vivid, suddenly beautiful in its very nature. Then the patronus, still Snuffles-shaped, pads eagerly out from an archway to plop its tail down on the broad, shallow steps, panting happily, waiting for her to approach

[wotchesyou]

Remus patronus is familiar to her. She smiles at the sight of it. It acts so much like Padfoot that it's startling. It causes Tonks misses her cousin. Her longing isn't terrible, merely the result on being slightly homesick.

When the patronus morphs, Tonks' mouth falls open. "How the bloody hell..." She looks around. How had Remus managed that? Patronus charms did not change on their own. They were a reflection of the people who cast them. They didn't often change.

She follows the doe. There is a still a look of puzzlement on her face as she enters the room where Remus is. "It's alright. I'm not quite ready myself." Tonks begins and then stops when she finally sees him. Oh. He looks nice. Better than nice, actually.Tonks shakes her head, clearing a bit of the fog. "How did you manage that with your Patronus." She takes a few steps toward him, careful to avoid the flying papers. "I've never heard of that before

[lumenrelegandus]

He smiles and echoes, "Wotcher." Then shakes his head a bit, undazing, and refocuses his eyes on her eyes. "Sorry. Manage what?"

[wotchesyou]

Her smile deepens and it's more than just cosmetics that are causing her cheeks to pinken. "Your Patronus Charm. First, it was Padfoot and then it became a doe. How did you do it?"

[lumenrelegandus]

His turn for a colour change, though it's slightly paler. "I… ah, it wasn't supposed to."

Spoilers. Even if she knew (yet) that intense emotion can alter a patronus, she may or may not realise that the crucial aspect of his patronus's appearance is not any particular animal, but its very ability to metamorphose

[wotchesyou]

"It wasn't supposed to?" Tonks tilts her head slightly and examines him closely

[lumenrelegandus]

He watches the dragonfly. Its light and shape can't quite reach the ache in his chest. Nothing to change it.

In a way he's glad. He'd never wanted to cause anyone enough pain to reshape a patronus, least of all her. But even the loss of regrettable moments is a loss. When they led to…

…well, him learning better. He didn't have to protect her. Not from him.

"Yes," he said belatedly, refocusing again. "In more ways than one. This is a way to keep them present. Also… I don't know how many people knew this. They camouflaged it with flash like Quidditch and spell casting, and only used it for silliness. But Sirius's and James's real genius was spell-building. They'd design new ones, take apart and modify old ones." The Map was only noteworthy for being a physical artifact. "Still, I don't know if I could do it with a patronus if not in Anatole. As you may have found, magic works a bit differently here

[wotchesyou]

She listens quietly as Remus talks about his friends. Tonks thinks that she could listen to him talk about almost anything. His voice is nice but that's not the reason. He has a way about him and a little bit of passion when he talks about the people and things that he loves

[lumenrelegandus]

His hand pauses on the wand with hers. For a moment they're both holding it. He looks away to pocket it and happens to look back just as she does.

He has a strangely closed expression-"what was wrong? You? Me? Scares me, not for myself…"-which was worse than getting upset would be. He'd looked away when she'd removed her wand, without shock or aversion, with a smile; and for a moment that person is gone. She's being so gentle, so generous, smart as well for her own sake, not to really ask, because then he'd have to answer. But unresponsiveness only compounds the not-a-question…

I want to tell you more. But I don't think it can be yet.

To his great relief she goes with the subject change. Relief that turns abruptly to electrification at her touch. How many times do you get a first touch with someone twice…? He doesn't tremble, doesn't move away or move toward; stays absolutely, perfectly still, as if she is a dragonfly that landed on him and he doesn't want her to lift away

[wotchesyou]

"Remus..." Tonks abruptly shakes her head and clears out her head. She shakes free of where she wants go, what she wants to ask.

It's alright.She smiles and her fingers finally withdraw from him. Tonks wants to linger but she can't. She won't make things awkward. She has gone down that road before. "You should. Wizard robes can be a bit stuffy." Her statement comes out too fast. As though she's saying it to move as quickly from her thoughts onto something else and she is

[lumenrelegandus]

She'd given the opening. She'd said… The situation surely demanded he say something back. But his terror of pushing too far took hold. And the doubt, that he was hearing what he wanted instead of what she meant.

(SB: Really? How many ways can you interpret-?)
(JP: Y'know what, she's still her, but he's also still him. Give it a moment.)
(LE: You're aware how strange it is to carry around this peanut gallery.)
(SB: When these two start their tripping-all-over-each-other dance, I always know about it.)

"I think you look amazing," he said-one of those Remus moments where he says something millions of people have devalued by saying billions of times, and somehow he makes it mean what it was supposed to again. "And it's a masquerade, so is 'too much' possible

[wotchesyou]

Tonks blushes. One of the things she admires about Remus is that when he says something, he means it. She doesn't need compliments. Her vanity and ego aren't easily bruised when it comes to her appearances.

"Thank you Remus. That means something, coming from you." What else could she have said? I appreciate that. Well, she does appreciate it. To just leavee the comment plain hadn't felt right either so Tonks went with her instincts, to say the first thing that pops into her mind.

Because it does mean something.

When Remus takes the wings from her, Tonks reaches up and pulls her teal, magenta and cobalt blue colored hair over her shoulder to expose her backside. The back of her dress isn't overly low nor is it particular high. Some of her skin is exposed, from a few inches below her shoulder blades to the back of her neck.

"It was more fantastic than some of his other plays." She could interpret his words so many ways. Remus likes Peaseblossom. He's glad that she picked this costume. On the other hand, you're not defined by who you

[lumenrelegandus]

He's been standing still, eyes closed into her hair, for a moment too long. With a will he stands back. En route he notices one of the garters for the wings is twisted around. His fingers brush up her shoulder blade as he untwists it.

Either the feel of her skin is making his hands shake, or she's shaking.

His hand pulls away.

-he wanted to tell her something, but the issue is not to tell her everything. Nor, with or without details, in emotion/expectation, to jump ahead.

Protecting her from himself again… only he's not. It's not just for her sake. He betrays if he slips into behaving like this is a continuation of what they had before. …Because she never had it. It would be unrealistic, overburdening; cruel to do that to her and suicidal to do it to himself. If they have a hope this time around, it has to be this time around, each as they are now, solely, independent of…

But you're lying and equally dooming if you hold back everything.Tentatively, very lightly, he puts his hand on her bare shoulder

[wotchesyou]

Without thinking about it, Tonks reaches up and pats the hand that is on her shoulder. When her hand comes back down, it rests on his. Her pinky and thumb curl slightly around his hand. It's a loose embrace.

"You don't have to thank me Remus." She pats his hand once more before turning around.

No one could ever say that Tonks is a selfish person. She doesn't want him to be awkward neither in feelings or how he acts around her. It's not fair to him to expect anything. There is a smile on her face. However, she can't hide all of it. She is too in touch with her emotions and is so used to wearing her heart on her sleeve.

There are signs, if you know her. Her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. Her eyes glisten as though she had already spent a single tear. She has.

"Like I said earlier, you deserve a bit of frivolity." Suddenly, her lips form a very thin line. "If you could.." She bites her bottom lip after her voice nearly cracks, "save me a dance, that'd be lovely. I'll try very hard not to step on your toes."

[lumenrelegandus]

And though it's the absolute least he could imaginably say, she has given him the place to start.

He meets her too-bright eyes

( shattering the world into three dimensions)

and his for a moment are totally unfiltered; enveloping her with admiration and affection and having been badly missed,

and he says mildly, "I'm not especially interested in dancing with anyone else."

[wotchesyou]

"Remus..."

This is stupid. She's a grown woman. She's a Ministry trained Auror. No, not only a Ministry trained Auror, Mad-Eye himself is her mentor. She faces down Death Eaters. She battles the Dark Arts. This should not be hard for her. It should be easy, just come right out and say it.

She opens her mouth to say something. She can't, not yet. Tonks isn't that brave enough to chance losing him as a friend. Everything would change after she made that simple admission, Remus J. Lupin, I fancy you.

"You don't?" Does he mean dancing in general or does she dare to hope that he means something else? "Why not?"

Please tell me something good or at least not awful.

[OOC - This comment was written under the influence of NyQuil. I'm so sorry.]