I [ OPEN ] at the close
Who: the original cast
When: time is broken between here and there
Where: The Door, and…
Format: Paragraph.
What: Homeworld Request meets Canon Event.
/spoiler alert/
In canon, Lupin makes a posthumous appearance: summoned by Harry using the Resurrection Stone.
In Scorched, Lupin was brought to Anatole at the moment of his death-before this resurrection.
Scorched!Lupin needs a working wand in order to confront Bellatrix, and decides to try an active Door Retrieval.
What if he goes to the Door on this side, and Harry casts the Resurrection spell on the other side, simultaneously?
Note: this has been approved (via PM) by the mod.s. It's not repeatable, because what ensues is the work of the Stone, not the Door.
Warnings: All borrowed text (abridged) is by J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows hardcover edition, pp. 698 - 703, quoted in red.
* * *
Exactly as advertised: a rent in space and time, neatly framed in stone.
This was a world of grey magic. Mist and stone. Extinct wizards. The detritus of worlds. Through the arch, he looked, as hard as he could, for bright colour. The past (for him) was always brighter.
Whatever this Door was, it could not be passive. It was a conduit of power and energy as well as form. It was fixed, in the otherwise amorphous magic of the Mist. It focused and clarified all that free-floating potential and made it specifically work. In function, the Door to the Mist was like a wand to a wizard.
He hadn't a wand to amplify the retrieval spell-it was a wand he needed retrieving-so perhaps he could use the Door.
Lupin stared at the Door for nearly an hour. His plan had been to examine it. Instead, he sat on the ground and watched the worldflicker through and beyond it, looking for a glimpse of what he badly wanted to see. But it would never work that way. The greatest sacrifice of those who die mid-battle is that they can't know its outcome.
He wasn't going to learn enough right now to make this less insane. So be it. I can't defeat her without a wand.
You brought me here, said the wizard to the Door. Help me now or send me back.
Empty-handed, he cast a retrieval spell.
One theory proved correct: The Door caught a spell and amplified. It just wasn't his spell.
Through the archway, clear as a confidence, Harry whispered, "I am about to die."
All turmoil left him instantly. With complete calm and clarity, Lupin stood and stepped through.
* * *
…Harry understood without having to think. It did not matter about bringing them back, for he was about to join them. He was not really fetching them: They were fetching him.
[…] They were neither ghost nor truly flesh, he could see that. […] Less substantial than living bodies, but much more than ghosts, they moved toward him, and on each face, there was the same loving smile.
James was exactly the same height as Harry. He was wearing the clothes in which he had died, and his hair was untidy and ruffled, and his glasses were a little lopsided, like Mr. Weasley's.
Sirius was tall and handsome, and younger by far than Harry had seen him in life. He loped with an easy grace, his hands in his pockets and a grin on his face.
Lupin was younger too, and much less shabby, and his hair was thicker and darker. He looked happy to be back in this familiar place, scene of so many adolescent wanderings.
Lily's smile was the widest of all. She pushed her long hair back as she drew close to him, and her green eyes, so like his, searched his face hungrily, as though she would never be able to look at him enough.
"You've been so brave."
He could not speak. His eyes feasted on her, and he thought that he would like to stand and look at her forever, and that would be enough.
"You are nearly there," said James. "Very close. We are... so proud of you."
"Does it hurt?"
The childish question had fallen from Harry's lips before he could stop it.
"Dying? Not at all," said Sirius. "Quicker and easier than falling asleep."
"And he will want it to be quick. He wants it over," said Lupin.
"I didn't want you to die," Harry said. These words came without his volition. "Any of you. I'm sorry-"
He addressed Lupin more than any of them, beseeching him.
"-right after you'd had your son... Remus, I'm sorry-"
Death was reversed in Anatole-for a price.
I had a son…?
For Lupin, perspective was much the same as for Harry. It never felt as though Lupin himself were real and everything else here the spectral vision. No. Harry alone blazed with life and solid presence. Lupin, like the others, understood what an echo or a shadow felt like. So much of his usual inner workings were silent. It was a peaceful haze, true emptiness, and he walked and spoke without examination or doubt, only on the path that was required of him. For so much of his life he had dreamed of such a chance to see this family, Harry and Sirius and Lily and James, again. Now they were together but there was no urgency or selfishness to it. They were here, purely and perfectly, for Harry.
So Lupin answered automatically, as the old him would have done, and being back here, could do.
But somewhat theoretically.
"I am sorry too," said Lupin. "Sorry I will never know him... but he will know why I died and I hope he will understand. I was trying to make a world in which he could live a happier life."
A chilly breeze that seemed to emanate from the heart of the forest lifted the hair at Harry's brow. He knew that they would not tell him to go, that it would have to be his decision.
"You'll stay with me?"
"Until the very end," said James.
"They won't be able to see you?" asked Harry.
"We are part of you," said Sirius. "Invisible to anyone else."
Harry looked at his mother.
"Stay close to me," he said quietly.
And he set off. The dementors' chill did not overcome him; he passed through it with his companions, and they acted like Patronuses to him, and together they marched through the old trees that grew closely together, their branches tangled, their roots gnarled and twisted underfoot. Harry clutched the Cloak tightly around him in the darkness, traveling deeper and deeper into the forest, with no idea where exactly Voldemort was, but sure that he would find him. Beside him, making scarcely a sound, walked James, Sirius, Lupin, and Lily, and their presence was his courage, and the reason he was able to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
[…]A thud and a whisper: Some other living creature had stirred close by. Harry stopped under the Cloak, peering around, listening, and his mother and father, Lupin and Sirius stopped too.
"Someone there," came a rough whisper close at hand. "He's got an Invisibility Cloak. Could it be-?"
Two figures emerged from behind a nearby tree: Their wands flared, and Harry saw Yaxley and Dolohov peering into the darkness, directly at the place Harry, his mother and father and Sirius and Lupin stood. Apparently they could not see anything.
As the Death Eaters spoke, Lupin looked, unperturbed, at his murderer. He found, like the rest of this, that he didn't mind. At least you came after me. He'd always rather they come after him than go after those he loved. Thus he could forgive Dolohov where he could not forgive Bellatrix.
The ghostly companions followed Yaxley and Dolohov to the clearing where the monstrous spider Aragog had lived. The bonfire that blazed there was dim to spectral eyes. What roared more brightly were those that lurked around it: Voldemort, Greyback,… Bellatrix.
Time is broken between Anatole and here
Nobody spoke. They seemed as scared as Harry, whose heart was now throwing itself against his ribs as though determined to escape the body he was about to cast aside. His hands were sweating as he pulled off the Invisibility Cloak and stuffed it beneath his robes, with his wand. He did not want to be tempted to fight.
"I was, it seems...mistaken," said Voldemort.
"You weren't."
Harry said it as loudly as he could, with all the force he could muster: he did not want to sound afraid. The Resurrection Stone slipped from between his numb fingers, and out of the corner of his eyes he saw his parents, Sirius, and Lupin vanish as he stepped forward into the firelight.
They understood. Harry had needed them to get to this moment. Now he needed to know that his loved ones would not have to see him in pain or die. They faded, and were calm, knowing their part had passed and they had done all they could
self-awareness returned like Cruciatus and Lupin yelled into void NO not yet like this don't bring us back only to
* * *
A great domed glass roof glittered high above him in sunlight. Perhaps it was a palace. All was hushed and still... his surroundings seemed to invent themselves before his eyes. A wide-open space, bright and clean, a hall larger by far than the Great Hall, with that clear, domed glass ceiling.
[…] Albus Dumbledore was walking toward them, sprightly and upright, wearing sweeping robes of midnight blue.
"What the fuck, Albus?" shouted Sirius.
Lily closed her eyes, swaying a bit on her feet.
Remus reached out to her. James's hand was there first.
"What happens?" said James.
"I'm not sure yet," said Dumbledore. "But I have faith."
"Fuck that," said Sirius. "Will Harry be all right?"
"Let me go back," said Remus. "Let me help him."
"Please," said Lily.
"You've all done everything you can," said Dumbledore. "More than that, in fact."
"Bullshit," said Sirius.
"Black," said James wearily, "calm down."
"He's your bloody son!"
"Yes," said James, eyes blazing at him. "You might try remembering that."
Lily gave Remus a look. He understood and moved to stand beside Sirius.
"You're not in charge of this, are you," said Lupin to Dumbledore.
Dumbledore's smile was the saddest thing any of them had ever seen. "No, children," he said. "I'm afraid I'm not."
Lily, perceiving that he wouldn't be able to stand by himself much longer, put her arm around James.
"However," said Dumbledore, "think about what that means. And perhaps you'll see why I say to have faith."
Sirius growled. Remus put him in a headlock. Sirius, actually relieved to be restrained, didn't resist.
"Your part in this war is over," said Dumbledore. "Trust that you've helped and raised Harry to this point, and now trust him to take over and do for himself. That's what parents do, isn't it?"
All four said nothing.
"This time now is for you," Dumbledore said. "Don't waste it on things that are beyond your grasp."
"This is all beyond my grasp," muttered Sirius.
Remus shoved him upright-"Well I'm bloody not"-and grabbed him in a hug.
Lily and James were there too and for just a moment they were whole again: together and laughing and very nearly alive.
James stepped away first. "We win," he said with quiet certainty. "Harry will be all right, and they win."
Lily took his hand and smiled. "I see it." She looked at Dumbledore. For an instant, her eyes were afire. "Yes," she said in a very different tone. "I see it."
Sirius and Remus straightened and looked at her. They hadn't believed it when James said it, but suddenly they did, entirely.
Dumbledore smiled. He moved among them, kissed each one on the forehead, and was gone.
Gravity hit Lupin square in the stomach. He went down to his knees. Sirius and Lily knelt instantly on either side of him, holding him.
"It's you again, Moon," said James gently.
"No, I can't," groaned Remus.
"We've been dead for ages, now," said James. "You're only mostly dead."
"Let me go. Please. With you."
"There isn't really a 'with us,' you know," said Sirius quietly. "Sorry to say. I mean, it's all right. It's only a scary idea when you're not… in it. And then it's okay. Like I said to Harry."
"You know too," said Lily. "Don't you?"
The tighter Remus held onto Lily and Sirius, the worse the pain got. He understood that-he'd always understood-but it didn't help loosen his hands.
"Okay," said Sirius, "enough of this." He grabbed Remus away from Lily, pulled him to his feet, and kissed him resoundingly on the mouth.
Gagging and stunned, Lupin stumbled back, only to find himself alone.
Shock and grief blackened his sight for a moment.
Then he started laughing. "Oh Sirius… oh you lousy…"
A hand touched him gently from behind. He didn't turn around. He knew she would be gone if he did.
"You were looking for this," said Lily quietly. Her hand slipped briefly into his. It left something solid in its place.
"No," said Lupin. "I never looked. I only..."
"I loved you too," she said. "Though not the way she did."
The worst pain yet: the kind that did not hit or bite, but simply went on, aching and interminable.
"Please tell her…" The pain consumed him. Still he did not bend or turn. She could not relieve it for him. …Death could not relieve it for him.
"Never mind," he said. "She knew."
Lily ran a hand through his hair, kissed the side of his face.
* * *
He was kneeling on the ground in Anatole in front of the Door. Between corporeal palm and earth, a willow wand (10¼", swishy, nice for charm work) was clasped in his hand.
Keeping hold of it, he bent forward, touched his forehead to the ground, and finally wept.
This wand could never be used for revenge.
When: time is broken between here and there
Where: The Door, and…
Format: Paragraph.
What: Homeworld Request meets Canon Event.
/spoiler alert/
In canon, Lupin makes a posthumous appearance: summoned by Harry using the Resurrection Stone.
In Scorched, Lupin was brought to Anatole at the moment of his death-before this resurrection.
Scorched!Lupin needs a working wand in order to confront Bellatrix, and decides to try an active Door Retrieval.
What if he goes to the Door on this side, and Harry casts the Resurrection spell on the other side, simultaneously?
Note: this has been approved (via PM) by the mod.s. It's not repeatable, because what ensues is the work of the Stone, not the Door.
Warnings: All borrowed text (abridged) is by J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows hardcover edition, pp. 698 - 703, quoted in red.
* * *
Exactly as advertised: a rent in space and time, neatly framed in stone.
This was a world of grey magic. Mist and stone. Extinct wizards. The detritus of worlds. Through the arch, he looked, as hard as he could, for bright colour. The past (for him) was always brighter.
Whatever this Door was, it could not be passive. It was a conduit of power and energy as well as form. It was fixed, in the otherwise amorphous magic of the Mist. It focused and clarified all that free-floating potential and made it specifically work. In function, the Door to the Mist was like a wand to a wizard.
He hadn't a wand to amplify the retrieval spell-it was a wand he needed retrieving-so perhaps he could use the Door.
Lupin stared at the Door for nearly an hour. His plan had been to examine it. Instead, he sat on the ground and watched the worldflicker through and beyond it, looking for a glimpse of what he badly wanted to see. But it would never work that way. The greatest sacrifice of those who die mid-battle is that they can't know its outcome.
He wasn't going to learn enough right now to make this less insane. So be it. I can't defeat her without a wand.
You brought me here, said the wizard to the Door. Help me now or send me back.
Empty-handed, he cast a retrieval spell.
One theory proved correct: The Door caught a spell and amplified. It just wasn't his spell.
Through the archway, clear as a confidence, Harry whispered, "I am about to die."
All turmoil left him instantly. With complete calm and clarity, Lupin stood and stepped through.
* * *
…Harry understood without having to think. It did not matter about bringing them back, for he was about to join them. He was not really fetching them: They were fetching him.
[…] They were neither ghost nor truly flesh, he could see that. […] Less substantial than living bodies, but much more than ghosts, they moved toward him, and on each face, there was the same loving smile.
James was exactly the same height as Harry. He was wearing the clothes in which he had died, and his hair was untidy and ruffled, and his glasses were a little lopsided, like Mr. Weasley's.
Sirius was tall and handsome, and younger by far than Harry had seen him in life. He loped with an easy grace, his hands in his pockets and a grin on his face.
Lupin was younger too, and much less shabby, and his hair was thicker and darker. He looked happy to be back in this familiar place, scene of so many adolescent wanderings.
Lily's smile was the widest of all. She pushed her long hair back as she drew close to him, and her green eyes, so like his, searched his face hungrily, as though she would never be able to look at him enough.
"You've been so brave."
He could not speak. His eyes feasted on her, and he thought that he would like to stand and look at her forever, and that would be enough.
"You are nearly there," said James. "Very close. We are... so proud of you."
"Does it hurt?"
The childish question had fallen from Harry's lips before he could stop it.
"Dying? Not at all," said Sirius. "Quicker and easier than falling asleep."
"And he will want it to be quick. He wants it over," said Lupin.
"I didn't want you to die," Harry said. These words came without his volition. "Any of you. I'm sorry-"
He addressed Lupin more than any of them, beseeching him.
"-right after you'd had your son... Remus, I'm sorry-"
Death was reversed in Anatole-for a price.
I had a son…?
For Lupin, perspective was much the same as for Harry. It never felt as though Lupin himself were real and everything else here the spectral vision. No. Harry alone blazed with life and solid presence. Lupin, like the others, understood what an echo or a shadow felt like. So much of his usual inner workings were silent. It was a peaceful haze, true emptiness, and he walked and spoke without examination or doubt, only on the path that was required of him. For so much of his life he had dreamed of such a chance to see this family, Harry and Sirius and Lily and James, again. Now they were together but there was no urgency or selfishness to it. They were here, purely and perfectly, for Harry.
So Lupin answered automatically, as the old him would have done, and being back here, could do.
But somewhat theoretically.
"I am sorry too," said Lupin. "Sorry I will never know him... but he will know why I died and I hope he will understand. I was trying to make a world in which he could live a happier life."
A chilly breeze that seemed to emanate from the heart of the forest lifted the hair at Harry's brow. He knew that they would not tell him to go, that it would have to be his decision.
"You'll stay with me?"
"Until the very end," said James.
"They won't be able to see you?" asked Harry.
"We are part of you," said Sirius. "Invisible to anyone else."
Harry looked at his mother.
"Stay close to me," he said quietly.
And he set off. The dementors' chill did not overcome him; he passed through it with his companions, and they acted like Patronuses to him, and together they marched through the old trees that grew closely together, their branches tangled, their roots gnarled and twisted underfoot. Harry clutched the Cloak tightly around him in the darkness, traveling deeper and deeper into the forest, with no idea where exactly Voldemort was, but sure that he would find him. Beside him, making scarcely a sound, walked James, Sirius, Lupin, and Lily, and their presence was his courage, and the reason he was able to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
[…]A thud and a whisper: Some other living creature had stirred close by. Harry stopped under the Cloak, peering around, listening, and his mother and father, Lupin and Sirius stopped too.
"Someone there," came a rough whisper close at hand. "He's got an Invisibility Cloak. Could it be-?"
Two figures emerged from behind a nearby tree: Their wands flared, and Harry saw Yaxley and Dolohov peering into the darkness, directly at the place Harry, his mother and father and Sirius and Lupin stood. Apparently they could not see anything.
As the Death Eaters spoke, Lupin looked, unperturbed, at his murderer. He found, like the rest of this, that he didn't mind. At least you came after me. He'd always rather they come after him than go after those he loved. Thus he could forgive Dolohov where he could not forgive Bellatrix.
The ghostly companions followed Yaxley and Dolohov to the clearing where the monstrous spider Aragog had lived. The bonfire that blazed there was dim to spectral eyes. What roared more brightly were those that lurked around it: Voldemort, Greyback,… Bellatrix.
Time is broken between Anatole and here
Nobody spoke. They seemed as scared as Harry, whose heart was now throwing itself against his ribs as though determined to escape the body he was about to cast aside. His hands were sweating as he pulled off the Invisibility Cloak and stuffed it beneath his robes, with his wand. He did not want to be tempted to fight.
"I was, it seems...mistaken," said Voldemort.
"You weren't."
Harry said it as loudly as he could, with all the force he could muster: he did not want to sound afraid. The Resurrection Stone slipped from between his numb fingers, and out of the corner of his eyes he saw his parents, Sirius, and Lupin vanish as he stepped forward into the firelight.
They understood. Harry had needed them to get to this moment. Now he needed to know that his loved ones would not have to see him in pain or die. They faded, and were calm, knowing their part had passed and they had done all they could
self-awareness returned like Cruciatus and Lupin yelled into void NO not yet like this don't bring us back only to
* * *
A great domed glass roof glittered high above him in sunlight. Perhaps it was a palace. All was hushed and still... his surroundings seemed to invent themselves before his eyes. A wide-open space, bright and clean, a hall larger by far than the Great Hall, with that clear, domed glass ceiling.
[…] Albus Dumbledore was walking toward them, sprightly and upright, wearing sweeping robes of midnight blue.
"What the fuck, Albus?" shouted Sirius.
Lily closed her eyes, swaying a bit on her feet.
Remus reached out to her. James's hand was there first.
"What happens?" said James.
"I'm not sure yet," said Dumbledore. "But I have faith."
"Fuck that," said Sirius. "Will Harry be all right?"
"Let me go back," said Remus. "Let me help him."
"Please," said Lily.
"You've all done everything you can," said Dumbledore. "More than that, in fact."
"Bullshit," said Sirius.
"Black," said James wearily, "calm down."
"He's your bloody son!"
"Yes," said James, eyes blazing at him. "You might try remembering that."
Lily gave Remus a look. He understood and moved to stand beside Sirius.
"You're not in charge of this, are you," said Lupin to Dumbledore.
Dumbledore's smile was the saddest thing any of them had ever seen. "No, children," he said. "I'm afraid I'm not."
Lily, perceiving that he wouldn't be able to stand by himself much longer, put her arm around James.
"However," said Dumbledore, "think about what that means. And perhaps you'll see why I say to have faith."
Sirius growled. Remus put him in a headlock. Sirius, actually relieved to be restrained, didn't resist.
"Your part in this war is over," said Dumbledore. "Trust that you've helped and raised Harry to this point, and now trust him to take over and do for himself. That's what parents do, isn't it?"
All four said nothing.
"This time now is for you," Dumbledore said. "Don't waste it on things that are beyond your grasp."
"This is all beyond my grasp," muttered Sirius.
Remus shoved him upright-"Well I'm bloody not"-and grabbed him in a hug.
Lily and James were there too and for just a moment they were whole again: together and laughing and very nearly alive.
James stepped away first. "We win," he said with quiet certainty. "Harry will be all right, and they win."
Lily took his hand and smiled. "I see it." She looked at Dumbledore. For an instant, her eyes were afire. "Yes," she said in a very different tone. "I see it."
Sirius and Remus straightened and looked at her. They hadn't believed it when James said it, but suddenly they did, entirely.
Dumbledore smiled. He moved among them, kissed each one on the forehead, and was gone.
Gravity hit Lupin square in the stomach. He went down to his knees. Sirius and Lily knelt instantly on either side of him, holding him.
"It's you again, Moon," said James gently.
"No, I can't," groaned Remus.
"We've been dead for ages, now," said James. "You're only mostly dead."
"Let me go. Please. With you."
"There isn't really a 'with us,' you know," said Sirius quietly. "Sorry to say. I mean, it's all right. It's only a scary idea when you're not… in it. And then it's okay. Like I said to Harry."
"You know too," said Lily. "Don't you?"
The tighter Remus held onto Lily and Sirius, the worse the pain got. He understood that-he'd always understood-but it didn't help loosen his hands.
"Okay," said Sirius, "enough of this." He grabbed Remus away from Lily, pulled him to his feet, and kissed him resoundingly on the mouth.
Gagging and stunned, Lupin stumbled back, only to find himself alone.
Shock and grief blackened his sight for a moment.
Then he started laughing. "Oh Sirius… oh you lousy…"
A hand touched him gently from behind. He didn't turn around. He knew she would be gone if he did.
"You were looking for this," said Lily quietly. Her hand slipped briefly into his. It left something solid in its place.
"No," said Lupin. "I never looked. I only..."
"I loved you too," she said. "Though not the way she did."
The worst pain yet: the kind that did not hit or bite, but simply went on, aching and interminable.
"Please tell her…" The pain consumed him. Still he did not bend or turn. She could not relieve it for him. …Death could not relieve it for him.
"Never mind," he said. "She knew."
Lily ran a hand through his hair, kissed the side of his face.
* * *
He was kneeling on the ground in Anatole in front of the Door. Between corporeal palm and earth, a willow wand (10¼", swishy, nice for charm work) was clasped in his hand.
Keeping hold of it, he bent forward, touched his forehead to the ground, and finally wept.
This wand could never be used for revenge.