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A friend I have been discussing religion and philosophy, and in the course of it the idea came up that Christianity is a demanding religion, and who would want to worship and devote themselves to a god who is always telling us what to do
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His own people the Israelites couldn't follow just 10 guidelines even with Him practically right in front of them.
So yeah, if they couldn't do that, then we need all the guidelines (help) we can get.
I mean, if it WAS easy - everyone would do it, Right?
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I like the analogy that you used. Z sounds like a good teacher.
For me, it was different: it was a teacher that took me on not because he recognized my talents and abilities and wanted me to do more. He took me on because he wanted as many followers students as possible, so there could be more to make examples of, and more people talking about how great he is. He was demanding and demeaning and disguised it as things like "encouragement" and "grace." Check my pride at the door? I had no choice. His ego and his pride filled the room building world. It was ALL about him.
I didn't like the way I was being treated. But, as it turns out, there's other teachers out there.
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I'm really thinking that we're actually talking about two different people here. This god you're talking about is an egotistical, manipulative bastard, and that can't be my god, because I don't put up with egotistical, manipulative bastards.
I mean, if you want someone who's swallowed the "Christian line" hook, line and sinker, that's me. I go to a church with "Evangelical" in the name, I went to a small conservative Bible college for six years, I pray and study the Bible regularly, I'm hugely interested in theology, and I claim to know my God personally. I've devoted my whole life to him.
Which leads to an uncomfortable question. Honestly speaking (and I wouldn't be offended by any answer you give me), do you think I behave like someone in a manipulative, emotionally abusive relationship?
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I haven't been very close to you since high school so I don't think I can answer that question. I can only speak for myself, so that is what I will do.
I googled "how to tell if your relationship is abusive" and came up with this site. While it is addressing earthly, romantic relationships with a human being, most of it does still apply. I will use it as a template.
Do you feel that you can't discuss with your partner what is bothering you? Maybe I could discuss it, but it would do no good. He was still God, you see, which means that he was always right. I was wrong, and it usually had something to do with sin or my sinful nature and I needed to pray for God's wisdom.
Does your partner frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem? See the discussion we've been having.
Does your partner ridicule you for expressing yourself? No, not at all! As long as what I'm ( ... )
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I know we're no longer close, but my whole LJ is here for you to read. Yeah, that's not the entirety of my life, but the real business of my brain is here. The theological and philosophical stuff I post here: that's how I think.
I don't know how far you want to get into theology and philosophy, or how much of what you relate here is your perspective, Trinity's perspective, or some total gestalt of your life among Christians. All of it I've heard before somewhere, with varying degrees of belief of skepticism - even within the Church.
You're right: the total effect of what you experienced is an abusive relationship. Some of these things I agree with you about with no reservation: not making friends with unbelievers? Seriously? And I've ranted on my LJ before about Christians and ignorance and how God gave us brains for a reason.
In fact, if you want, I can take some of that stuff point-by-point, with Bible verses and the whole shebang. Do you mind?
(AARDVARK!)
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