Four Nights - Pt. 4: Evergreen
Title: Four Nights
Fandom: Gackt, Hyde
Genre: AU, Boys Love, Romance
Pairing: GakuHai
Rating: NC-17
Language: English
Summary:
Gackt gets dumped by his girlfriend and wants to drown himself in alcohol to finally forget her. But before he can do so, he meets Hyde who works as a singer and entertains the costumers of a bar. They 'decide' to become friends and Hyde offers help in getting over the lover's grief.
Note: This is just a translation and english is not my first language. Again BIG thanks to
eadwine63 for proof reading and helping out with translating some parts :3
Disclaimer: They belong to themselves (unfortunately *wants them* ;x;) and Hyde owns the lyrics.
Gackt's POV
Fourth Night: EVERGREEN
The following night was horrible. After I had seen everyone leave, without doing anything, I had brooded and brooded and brooded. Suddenly everything had become so complicated. Actually I just wanted my old life back and now - when I had the chance to get it back - I had … rejected it … somehow.
And why? Because Hyde had kissed me and because I had kissed Hyde and because he had been about to undress me before the doorbell had rang and because I hadn't stopped him. God, I didn't know what was wrong with me. Everything could've been fine, but now nothing was.
That night I didn't sleep at all since I didn't know what to do. The next morning this didn't change either and less than ever when I called Hyde and he didn't pick up - the cell phone was turned off. The whole time I had known him his cell had never been turned off and exactly this fact made me nervous.
“I'll call you later, Gacchan,” he had said, so I couldn't imagine that only the battery was empty. No, he didn't want to talk to me and this hurt me.
“Haido …” I sighed and laid my head on the table - right next to a cup of coffee I had brewed half an hour ago, without taking one single sip from it ever since. My stomach already grumbled because of me drinking coffee, so I didn't even dare trying to eat something. I just didn't feel well. How should I overcome the time until Hyde finally called or showed up at my place? It could take hours, days or weeks. Maybe he wouldn't do so at all, and I didn't know why.
Of course, Shizuka had disturbed us in a certain way, but would he be angry because of that? Maybe he hadn’t been angry, but just wanted to leave me and my 'girlfriend' alone, like he hadn't wanted to bother me with his problems. Stupid idiot! Who told him that I even wanted to be alone? And who told him that I was back with Shizuka? Damn it!
Just the way she had behaved - even though everything was my fault, she was so kind and willing to take me back - to tolerate me, to not be abandon me or whatever the reason might be. No, right now Hyde was way more important to me and I finally knew how I could make him talk to me.
The day passed by as slowly as it had never done before. It felt as if someone had glued the hands of the clock to one spot.
Eventually - and finally - it was 7 pm and I could finally leave to set out for You's bar where I would surely meet Hyde. Yesterday he had said he would perform there after all. I hoped to talk to him before he started his show and so I couldn't get there fast enough.
When I reached the bar ten minutes later I was disappointed - Hyde wasn't there yet. Okay, just don't throw in the towel that soon, I was almost an hour early and there was enough time for him to arrive. I sat down at the counter, took off my jacket and put it on the bar stool next to me. Only a moment later, You returned after bringing drinks to some customers.
“Oh, Gaku,” he greeted in a surprised tone, “what are you doing here? … I mean: alone?” His reaction seemed weird to me and I raised an eyebrow.
“Is there a reason why I should not be here?” I asked, without actually wanting an answer. “I'm just waiting for Hyde.”
“Oh … okay.” What the … what was wrong with this guy? First he asked stupid questions and then he gave stupid replies.
“Wanna drink something while waiting?” At least as a bartender he worked normally.
“One beer, please,” I ordered and glanced to the entrance, because I had heard the door opening. But it wasn't Hyde who entered, but a bunch of young women who quickly headed to a table near a corner.
For Hyde I kept waiting and even when it was five minutes to eight pm he didn't show up. But … he had said eight!
“You!” I called for my friend, “Hyde had said he would be here at eight, right?” As response I only got a shrug and a quite nonspecific “Probably.” I grunted.
“So, where is he then? Does he always arrive that late?”
“No, usually he's on time.”
“And why not today?” I asked furthermore, almost pressuring You. And he just hummed and hawed, cleaning the glasses with conspicuous accuracy.
“You!”
He sighed and put the glasses aside.
“Because he won't come today.”
“What?!” I shouted.
“He was here at lunch time to tell me he couldn't come back again.”
“But … why?” I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe Hyde avoided me on purpose. You just shook his head.
“Don't ask me,” he pleaded, “I can't tell you. What's the matter anyway?
You have Shizuka back, so you- hey!” At his words I stood up immediately, grabbed his collar and dragged him halfway over the counter. He seemed shocked and to be honest, even I was surprised by my own reaction. It was like … a reflex action.
“You know why he left, right?” I hisses and forgot my good manners, “he told you everything, or you wouldn't know that Shizuka visited me yesterday. And you know well where he is. You asked him; I know you!”
“No, I don't know!” You claimed firmly, grabbed my hands to get out of my grip and looked at me, shocked. “What's wrong with you?!”
“ I just …!” Well - what was wrong with me? I stared at You for several seconds, not knowing what to say.
“I …,” I began, “I just want to … I want …”
“Hyde?” You tried to help me out by completing my sentence.
Did I want Hyde? Yeah, somehow. But in which way? And how would he … this moment I thought I understood something.
“You?” I asked my friend behind the counter and looked at him seriously, “why does he want to leave?”
“I think you already know.”
“Hm … I think so. Where is he? You, please tell me!”
I believe the entreating tone in my voice convinced him: “In a bar called 'Black Rose',” he said, “he'll perform there tonight, because someone had gotten sick and canceled the gig. Well, and if Hyde does well, he'll probably be hired again. You should hurry, he always performs for only one hour.”
I automatically nodded and also asked: “Where's this bar?”
“Wait a sec,” he said and scribbled down something on the small scratchpad he normally used to note the orders and handed the piece of paper to me.
“Thanks!” I said honestly and grabbed my jacket to get on my way, but You held me back.
“Gaku! Please, just leave him alone when he doesn't want to talk to you, okay?” he asked, “he looked very bad.” I nodded and finally left the bar. Outside I hailed a cab - judging by the address You had given me, this 'Black Rose' was at the city's other end.
During the ride I kept looking at my watch or annoying the driver with asking him if it was still far or how long it would take - just like a child. I guess he was quite relieved when we arrived at the bar and he got paid.
I hurried to the entrance immediately and the first thing I heard inside was Hyde beautiful voice:
I lie awake beside the windowsill
Like a flower in a vase, a moment caught in glass
The rays of sunlight come and beckon me
To a sleepy dreamy haze, a sense of summer days
If only I could stop the flow of time
Turn the clock to yesterday, erasing all the pain
I've only memories of happiness
Such a pleasure we have shared, I'd do it all again
This scenery is evergreen
As buds turn into leaves, the colors live and breathe
This scenery is evergreen
Your tears are falling silently
It was a sad song and I didn't wonder why he sang it, but when he had written it. A long or short time ago? Last night, to be precise.
I went to the stage a little more to get a better view. As usual Hyde sat on a bar stool, the microphone right in front of him. But this time, he didn't wear a suit, just normal jeans and a black buttoned shirt. He also wasn't supported by the piano, he used an acoustic guitar only.
So full of joy, you are a child of spring
With a beauty that is pure, an innocence endures
You flow right through me like a medicine
Bringing quiet to my soul, without you I'm not whole
This scenery is evergreen
I need you far too much, I long to feel your touch
This scenery is evergreen
You've always been so dear to me
Tears … I could see tears sparkling in the corner of Hyde's eyes. They grew and eventually rolled down his cheeks. At first he cried silently so that no one of the customers noticed it, unless they looked at him more closely. Only seconds later, I heard chocked sobs. During the small pauses between the verses Hyde tried to strengthen himself, but it didn't work well - his voice sounded throaty.
This scenery is evergreen
It sorrows at the sight of seeing you so sad
This scenery is evergreen
I wish that I could dry your tears
The bells have rung, the time has come
I cannot find the words to say my last ... goodbye ...
Right after this verse he was done for. He tried to continue the song, but his voice died down and instead he sobbed. He barely managed to say “I'm sorry”, before he put away the guitar and left the stage quickly.
I heard the audience murmuring, but I didn't care; I only concentrated on Hyde. Apparently, he didn't see me coming, since he tried to wipe the tears off of his eyes and stumbled directly into my arms. I held him silently and stroked his hair. He let me have my way - at least until I whispered his name.
“Haido …” At that moment he pushed me away, looked at me for a few seconds in a hurt way and then he fled, before I could say anything else. But this time I wouldn't give up that fast, definitely not! I followed him quickly and could only just jump into the cab he had hailed.
“Stop!” he called the driver and put a hand on the doorknob to leave the car.
“No!” I protested, grabbed his arm and shouted to the man at the front, “Drive off! Drive off!”
“You can't make me stay with you! I don't want to be with you!” Hyde hissed, while the taxi driver decided to follow the orders of the louder one of us - namely: me - and drove off.
“You're lying.” I said calmly. “Or you wouldn't cry.”
“That's none of your business!” he still hissed, though sounding not as firm as he had just a moment ago.
“But you don't deny that you lied?”
“I … leave me alone! I don't wanna see you, Gackt!”
“No, Hideto, I won't.”
“Don't call me by this name! I don’t want to have anything to do with you!”
“And why?”
“None of your business!”
“I won't let you go until you have talked to me and given me a good reason.”
“Yes, you will! I-”
“We have arrived,” the driver suddenly interfered, “would you mind to pay and continue your fight outside?”
“I'm sorry,” Hyde said in a normal sound level and took out his wallet to pay, “keep the change.” Then he hurried to get out of the car. It seemed as if he tried to enter the house without me following him. But he hadn't considered my pertinacity and it also took him too much time with the keys, so that I followed him before he could lock me out. At the staircase he tried to get me off his heels again and again I made sure to be right behind him. I could also get a foot between the door of his apartment and the wall and squeezed myself in.
“Out!” he shouted at me once more and pushed me away. “Leave! This is breach of domestic peace! You're not allowed to be here! I don't want you to! Please, just leave. Please …” His last word was only a quiet begging, a mixture of whispering and sobbing, and Hyde dropped to the ground powerlessly. His protective barrier was broken.
“You'll hate me.” He whined and covered his eyes with one of his hands.
“No, I won't.” I told him, knelt down next to him and wrapped my arms around him. And this time, he didn't protest, he let it happen.
“I lied to you.”
“I know.”
“No, you don't. I … we … we slept … together.”
“...” I swallowed. He was right, I didn't know this.
“When …?” I asked a little, hawing. Though I already knew the answer.
“The … the night we first met.” he replied ruefully. Seconds of silence passed and weighed on us. And then Hyde continued: “I know it was a mistake and … but it just happened … you were drunk and we kissed and then … I don't know how, but … you looked so desperate … I couldn't reject you and then … I … I …”
His voice got silent for one moment and eventually he whispered: “I fell in love with you.”
It was strange. When I thought about it twice this truth didn't feel that odd anymore. It neither knocked my socks off, nor made me mad. Quite the contrary: It made me smile.
“Haido,” I murmured and softly lifted his chin to look into his tear-stained eyes. He looked at me afflicted and waited. I knew he was waiting and I didn't make him wait any longer. I closed my eyes and kissed him. Hyde needed a moment to realize what I was doing, before he finally kissed me back hesitantly. But when it seemed to have completely sunk into his mind, he got more demanding, opened his mouth and let my tongue in, without me needing to ask for permission. At the same time his tongue came towards mine and he sighed contently, when our tongues met.
“Gacchan …”
“Haido …” I replied, also with a sigh, and kissed him again and more deeply. We kissed until we needed to part for breath. For a moment I treasured the feeling that Hyde's lips had left on mine, before I looked at him directly. Tears welled up in his eyes, but somehow I knew they didn't mean sadness. I wiped them away carefully, placed one more kiss on the tip of his nose and smiled.
“Come,” I said softly and offered my hand to help him getting up, “we shouldn't spend a whole night on the floor, should we?”
“N-no, we shouldn't.” Hyde agreed quietly and wrapped his arms around my neck instead of taking my hand. He was … cute … the way he acted - as if he was still afraid I could leave as soon as he let go of me. To finally get off the floor I also wound my arms around him and raised him up. At the same time he entwined his legs round my hip to hold on to me as tightly as possible. I laughed softly and he nestled close to me. This way I could take him from here much better anyway. I turned and … well, where should I go?
And as if I had spoken my thoughts out loud, Hyde whispered: “To the bed … please …”
“Okay.” To be honest I had already known that we would end up there, so I had no qualms heading to the bedroom immediately. The room was - as well as the whole apartment - pitch-black and I needed to look for a light switch at first. When I didn't find one, I felt Hyde's hand wandering along my arm and eventually pushing a switch at the wall to turn on a lamp nearby the night stand. Dimmed light illuminated the room.
“Thanks.” I murmured and covered the short distance to the king-size bed. There I let him down, took off my and his shoes and finally got onto the bed as well to lay down next to him. I wanted to kiss him, but Hyde placed one finger on my lips. Something still seemed to bother him, while I thought everything was okay now.
“Gacchan,” he began, “you … you don't need to do this … I don't want you to be here just because you're pitying me.” I sighed. It seemed that I was still a stupid idiot who needed to learn that things weren't automatically clear when I thought they were.
“And why do you think it's just pity?” I asked thereupon.
“Because you and Shi- … you're taken again and-”
“Shhh~” I interrupted Hyde, before he could talk himself into believing something that wasn't true. “At the moment me and Shizuka have nothing to do with each other. Do you really think I would take her back after she had treated me that way? But you, you cared for me and made me feel better. I have no reason not to stay with you.” With that I had tried to convince him, but apparently it didn't work - Hyde just shook his head.
“You won't be able to give me what I want.”
“What makes you think so?”
“Way too much.” Hyde said resigning and sat up. Almost immediately I was at his side again and said to him: “But you're wrong.”
“Then … prove it.” It wasn't an order or anything, rather a question, so I could object it at any time. And he expected me to do so, I could see it in his eyes.
“How?” I just wanted to know.
“I … erm … tell me … you love me.”
A confession, he wanted a confession. I really wasn't able to give him what he wanted; instead I just stared at his lips that were slightly opened in anticipation of my answer. To him it must've been the proof that he was right.
“You see?! You can't say it, so it's pointless.”
“No, it's not,” I replied, finally finding the words, “I'm just not sure what I should think of myself.”
“That's exactly the same.”
“No,” I protested, took his face in my hands and just kissed him. When he didn't want to believe me I needed to show him. It simply was hard to say 'I love you' when you just broke up with your girlfriend and particular ex-girlfriend suddenly stood at your doormat to happily declare that she wanted you back. And when you've been so blind as me …
But Hyde kept being stubborn and didn't kiss me back.
“It's not that easy, Gacchan,” he said, shaking his head, “a kiss doesn't need love or affection.”
“What can I do to show you that I'm serious?”
“Sleep with me!” What?! I hadn't seen this coming. And it seemed as if Hyde hadn't as well. He bit his lower lip, blushed and immediately took it back: “No, wait, forget it … it's childish to ask that of you.”
Maybe it was, but it was also the best way to convince him, even though it was something completely new to me. Sleeping with a … man … I shivered lightly - I didn't know how … and … Goddammit! I did trust Hyde, didn't I?!
“I've never done it with a man,” I finally admitted, “I-”
“Don't worry, Gacchan. I said you should forget it. I … knew you would never agree.” he said, a hint of sadness in his voice.
“No!” I countered quickly, “I didn't mean it that way! I've just never slept with a man … at least not consciously. You?”
Thereupon Hyde laughed bitterly: “I thought you already noticed that I'm not interested in women at all.” I didn't … or I hadn't wanted to. Though until this morning I hadn't even considered that Hyde could fall in love with me. Or that I … but it was the way it was and if I couldn't pull myself together now Hyde would leave and this was the last thing I wanted - the very last! And to be precise we already had slept together.
I breathed deeply once more and told Hyde what I had decided: “Okay, I will-”
“What?” When I hadn't heard Hyde asking me I would've thought I had surprised him. Whereat he indeed looked as if he had never expected this reply. He who had encouraged me the whole time had stopped hoping … and now I made him hope again.
“I will sleep with you,” I continued, “but you must help me. I have no clue what I can do and what I shouldn't. You're not a woman anyway and … just say something!” Or I would shoot myself in the foot.
It still took a few seconds, before Hyde believed that I wasn't joking. He finally smiled again and seemed happy. He placed a hand on my cheek and stroked it until I closed my eyes. A very light kiss followed, it was fleeting and shallow, almost not there. His hand wandered from my cheek to my neck, alongside my arm to my hand. He grabbed it and rested it on his chest. I could feel his heart beating under my fingertips - fast and strong, a steady beat. Then he opened two of the buttons of his shirt to show me what I should do next. Okay, I could've figured this out by myself!
I grumbled because of my own stupidity, while Hyde laughed: “Last time you weren't that clueless.”
“It's not funny, Haido!” I groaned. “Last time I was drunk.”
“So, you wanna drink a whole bottle of wine first?”
“No! I want to remember it this time.”
“Good …” Hyde nodded contently, came a little closer and nestled up against me for a moment or two, before he started to fumble with the hem of my shirt. Willingly I let him pull it over my head and asked for a kiss in return, since I had been so obedient. This time it was a real kiss. I truly enjoyed feeling Hyde’s tongue, fighting for dominance. I eventually let him have his way, concentrating on unbuttoning his shirt to finally get it off of him as well.
But Hyde didn't make it that easy for me, since his hands began caressing the upper part of my body almost everywhere. He stroked my stomach, my chest, my nipples - his touches were as light as a feather and it drove me almost insane. Unwillingly I let out a cry that sounded like a whimper, and he just laughed heartily. Arg, Hyde!
Though he tortured me I finally managed to slip the dark fabric off his shoulders. His skin that was revealed was so smooth and flawless … flawless except for the three piercings that decorated his nipples and his belly button. But I wasn't sure whether or not you could call them a flaw at all. Rather not.
And then I saw them! Hyde broke our kiss and started caressing my neck instead; whereat he tilted his head, his hair falling aside and I got a full view of his shoulder blade. He had wings … angel wings … and they fit his kind nature exactly. Even though this kind nature apparently was on a holiday right now, since I couldn't suppress a moan when Hyde simply opened the zipper of my pants, slid his hands into my underwear and suddenly he was massaging the most sensitive part of my body. I was so surprised I even bit his neck accidentally when I actually tried to kiss it.
“Ah!” Of course he cried out in pain and stopped all his actions.
“I'm sorry,” I murmured and looked at him ruefully, “I didn't want to bite you, please forgive me …”
“It's okay,” Hyde said and shook his head, “I was a little too fast and to make it up you can … blow to make it better, if you want.” Blow? My gaze wandered down to his crotch. Blow? … Oh my god, no, I couldn't do that - really not that.
“Haido, you-”
“Not there,” he answered quickly, when he noticed what I was looking at, and lifted my chin, “I meant here ...” He pointed at the spot I just had bitten.
“Oh … I see …” A little more encouraged I took his hand and kissed its back. Another kiss I planted on the wound at his neck and then I actually wanted to let go of him.
“More,” Hyde pleaded though, “please more, Gacchan …” He really seemed to enjoy it and so I obeyed, kissed this spot once more and lightly sucked on his skin.
His reaction was a deep sigh: “Mmhhh~ I want more, Gacchan.” And again I fulfilled his wish, nipping at his skin and showering his whole neck with kisses. I placed my hands on his sides and pulled him a little closer. It was an action I actually didn't need to do, since Hyde snuggled closer to me anyway. The longer I pleased him, the more his sighing turned to gasping and eventually he moaned into my ear lowly.
“Gacchan~”
Hot and cold waves ran down my spine, when I heard him. But it was a good feeling - everything felt good, also when Hyde pressed and rubbed his lower body directly against mine. And it turned me on. God, suddenly my pants were so tight … another thing that melted my doubts.
“Haido,” I whispered against his skin and stopped kissing his neck. I searched for his eyes instead and looked into his dreamy gaze. And as if we had choreographed it, we looked at each other for one moment, before we leaned forward at the same time and shared another kiss.
While Hyde massaged my erection again, my hands wandered across his body: to his stomach and his chest. My fingertips circled his nipples a little until they were hard and then they moved further to Hyde's shoulders, his back and down his spine. The hem of his pants stopped their small journey … more or less, since without hesitating I pushed his pants and underwear down and immediately touched the skin that had just appeared. I could feel Hyde grinning and licking the back side my teeth once, before he parted from me.
“Do you want it now?” he asked then.
“Yes,” I answered without thinking about it anymore.
“Just wait a second.” He got up and crawled to the night stand to get something from there. I already could imagine what it was, knelt down on the mattress and lowered my head. I looked directly at my opened pants and the huge bulge in my crotch. Soon we would do it and I couldn't deny that I was nervous.
What would it feel like? What would Hyde want me to do? And most of all: Would I do something wrong that could seriously hurt him? So much insecurity that bothered me.
“Are you alright, Gacchan?” Hyde asked, bringing me back to reality, and knelt down in front of me. He had already taken off all his clothes so that I got a perfect view on everything.
“Uhm … yes,” I replied quickly.
“Really? You look quite nervous.”
“I am. I have no clue and … yeah, that's it …” Hyde laughed once and then he looked at me lovingly.
“You're cute, Gacchan,” he said and ran a hand through my hair, “I'll show you everything. Nothing will go wrong as long as you're gentle to me.”
“Okay.” Gentle …
“But first you need to undress, I wanna see you,” he added, chuckling. I did as he had said, took off my clothes, sat back down on the mattress and Hyde pressed something into my hand: a condom.
“You know how this works, right?” he commented and grinned.
“Don't get cheeky with me!” I teased and yet I hurried to roll the condom down to not waste even more time. Or else my nerves would kill me before we even started.
Then Hyde gave me a bottle of lube and explained: “You coat you fingers with this, two or three should do it, and then we'll continue.” After he had said this, he opened the bottle and spurted some of its content on my hands so that I could apply it. Hyde helped me and in the end his hands were as slippery as mine. He even insisted on patting my cheeks and covered my face with lube by doing so. It smelled of vanilla.
“You're such a child!“ I told him, laughing. Hyde knew it wasn't an insult and laughed as well.
“Yes, I am,” he said and leaned in to press a brief kiss onto my lips. It was good … the kiss and our bantering made me relax and I felt a little more ready as I did before.
“Okay,” he eventually told me, “let's go.”
“Yes.”
Hyde wrapped one arm around my body and placed his hand between my shoulder blades. With his other hand he took mine to guide it to his back and also his butt. Then he demonstrated me what I had to do and I closed my eyes.
“Do you feel that?” he asked, making me rub my finger over a ring of muscles.
“Yes …” I affirmed.
“That's the entrance. And don't forget: Be gentle.”
“Erm … yes …” I felt stupid for always replying with this single word, as if I didn't know any others. But on the other hand it was a strange imagination … well, I didn't even want to know where exactly and in which way I would be in him. The only thing I could do was to follow Hyde's orders. I breathed once more and carefully pushed my finger past his entrance.
It was odd - tight, hot and … just different from everything I had experienced so far. But Hyde seemed to truly enjoy it. He had moaned right after I had entered him.
“Gacchan!” he called my name, buried his face in my neck, pressed his fingernails against my neck and clawed at my hip with his other hand.
“Please … move …”
I wasn't sure what I should do, since 'move' could mean a lot.
“Please~” he almost begged. Thereupon I moved my finger … somehow, in several directions and luckily it seemed to be exactly what Hyde wanted. Again he moaned, loudly and in a satisfied way.
“Now the second one,” he demanded a little later and moved his hips against my hand, “and then … mhh~ … you …”
“Really … already?”
“Yes~ I'm just waiting … for you … you won't hurt me … don't worry …”
Between his words he panted and needed to take in breaths. His hot forehead still rested at my neck.
Hesitantly I followed his instructions and entered him with a second wet finger, making scissoring movements, whereupon Hyde pressed himself against me, his whole body trembling. And by that … I could feel his erection touching mine … which made me feel as if he had massaged me there for minutes.
“Ah-” a cry slipped out from my throat.
“Beautiful~,” Hyde purred, “do it again …”
“W-what?”
“Moan again.”
Oh my god, no! Not on command! And anyway … I just began kissing his neck and nape instead.
“Gacchan, please~,” he begged again, doing it in such a cute tone that I couldn't refuse it anymore. I stretched out my neck to reach his ear with my lips and murmured a low and long “Ahh.” But Hyde didn't seem satisfied yet. On the contrary: Right now he apparently became truly … turned on.
“Gachan, I want you … now …”
And I wanted him too - the urgency of my erection had become almost unbearable within the last few minutes. And I even almost came when I felt Hyde's cold, slippery hands around my member, coating it with lube. I held my breath while he was busy and didn't let it out until he pulled my hand out of himself. I relaxed, only for a second, since Hyde really didn't want to wait any longer. He pushed me down a little, sat on my lap and pushed himself down on me.
Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!
“Oh my god!! Haido …” He was incredibly tight and … I wouldn't be able to take it for long, I already knew this.
“Thanks.”
Hyde moaned and I moaned as well and we began to move in the same rhythm - back and forth, up and down, faster and faster.
“Haido … ah- Haido … I-” I panted uncontrollably. I didn't know what I wanted to tell him. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to say anything, except his name. My heart pounded against my ribs, my blood whooshed in my ears, I felt hot and everything I sensed was Hyde, pressing himself to my body, clinging to me, taking me in and …
Then there suddenly were his lips at mine, starting a kiss which made everything a little more perfect. Hyde buried his hands in my hair as if he wanted to prevent me parting from him. Though, it wasn't necessary. The kiss lasted and lasted and lasted, while I kept thrusting deeply into his body and believed I came closer to heaven with every single thrust.
“Gacchan,” Hyde said after what seemed like an eternity, panting and parting from me, “I love you, Gacchan.”
“I …” I still didn't know what I felt for him. “Hideto-” But he just kissed me again and silenced me by doing so, just taking everything I was willing to give him.
*
God, it was so embarrassing to write certain parts of this chapter D: And yesss, Hyde's a little whiny, but it's an old story - nowadays I try to write male characters more realistic ^^'
Fandom: Gackt, Hyde
Genre: AU, Boys Love, Romance
Pairing: GakuHai
Rating: NC-17
Language: English
Summary:
Gackt gets dumped by his girlfriend and wants to drown himself in alcohol to finally forget her. But before he can do so, he meets Hyde who works as a singer and entertains the costumers of a bar. They 'decide' to become friends and Hyde offers help in getting over the lover's grief.
Note: This is just a translation and english is not my first language. Again BIG thanks to
eadwine63 for proof reading and helping out with translating some parts :3
Disclaimer: They belong to themselves (unfortunately *wants them* ;x;) and Hyde owns the lyrics.
Gackt's POV
Fourth Night: EVERGREEN
The following night was horrible. After I had seen everyone leave, without doing anything, I had brooded and brooded and brooded. Suddenly everything had become so complicated. Actually I just wanted my old life back and now - when I had the chance to get it back - I had … rejected it … somehow.
And why? Because Hyde had kissed me and because I had kissed Hyde and because he had been about to undress me before the doorbell had rang and because I hadn't stopped him. God, I didn't know what was wrong with me. Everything could've been fine, but now nothing was.
That night I didn't sleep at all since I didn't know what to do. The next morning this didn't change either and less than ever when I called Hyde and he didn't pick up - the cell phone was turned off. The whole time I had known him his cell had never been turned off and exactly this fact made me nervous.
“I'll call you later, Gacchan,” he had said, so I couldn't imagine that only the battery was empty. No, he didn't want to talk to me and this hurt me.
“Haido …” I sighed and laid my head on the table - right next to a cup of coffee I had brewed half an hour ago, without taking one single sip from it ever since. My stomach already grumbled because of me drinking coffee, so I didn't even dare trying to eat something. I just didn't feel well. How should I overcome the time until Hyde finally called or showed up at my place? It could take hours, days or weeks. Maybe he wouldn't do so at all, and I didn't know why.
Of course, Shizuka had disturbed us in a certain way, but would he be angry because of that? Maybe he hadn’t been angry, but just wanted to leave me and my 'girlfriend' alone, like he hadn't wanted to bother me with his problems. Stupid idiot! Who told him that I even wanted to be alone? And who told him that I was back with Shizuka? Damn it!
Just the way she had behaved - even though everything was my fault, she was so kind and willing to take me back - to tolerate me, to not be abandon me or whatever the reason might be. No, right now Hyde was way more important to me and I finally knew how I could make him talk to me.
The day passed by as slowly as it had never done before. It felt as if someone had glued the hands of the clock to one spot.
Eventually - and finally - it was 7 pm and I could finally leave to set out for You's bar where I would surely meet Hyde. Yesterday he had said he would perform there after all. I hoped to talk to him before he started his show and so I couldn't get there fast enough.
When I reached the bar ten minutes later I was disappointed - Hyde wasn't there yet. Okay, just don't throw in the towel that soon, I was almost an hour early and there was enough time for him to arrive. I sat down at the counter, took off my jacket and put it on the bar stool next to me. Only a moment later, You returned after bringing drinks to some customers.
“Oh, Gaku,” he greeted in a surprised tone, “what are you doing here? … I mean: alone?” His reaction seemed weird to me and I raised an eyebrow.
“Is there a reason why I should not be here?” I asked, without actually wanting an answer. “I'm just waiting for Hyde.”
“Oh … okay.” What the … what was wrong with this guy? First he asked stupid questions and then he gave stupid replies.
“Wanna drink something while waiting?” At least as a bartender he worked normally.
“One beer, please,” I ordered and glanced to the entrance, because I had heard the door opening. But it wasn't Hyde who entered, but a bunch of young women who quickly headed to a table near a corner.
For Hyde I kept waiting and even when it was five minutes to eight pm he didn't show up. But … he had said eight!
“You!” I called for my friend, “Hyde had said he would be here at eight, right?” As response I only got a shrug and a quite nonspecific “Probably.” I grunted.
“So, where is he then? Does he always arrive that late?”
“No, usually he's on time.”
“And why not today?” I asked furthermore, almost pressuring You. And he just hummed and hawed, cleaning the glasses with conspicuous accuracy.
“You!”
He sighed and put the glasses aside.
“Because he won't come today.”
“What?!” I shouted.
“He was here at lunch time to tell me he couldn't come back again.”
“But … why?” I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe Hyde avoided me on purpose. You just shook his head.
“Don't ask me,” he pleaded, “I can't tell you. What's the matter anyway?
You have Shizuka back, so you- hey!” At his words I stood up immediately, grabbed his collar and dragged him halfway over the counter. He seemed shocked and to be honest, even I was surprised by my own reaction. It was like … a reflex action.
“You know why he left, right?” I hisses and forgot my good manners, “he told you everything, or you wouldn't know that Shizuka visited me yesterday. And you know well where he is. You asked him; I know you!”
“No, I don't know!” You claimed firmly, grabbed my hands to get out of my grip and looked at me, shocked. “What's wrong with you?!”
“ I just …!” Well - what was wrong with me? I stared at You for several seconds, not knowing what to say.
“I …,” I began, “I just want to … I want …”
“Hyde?” You tried to help me out by completing my sentence.
Did I want Hyde? Yeah, somehow. But in which way? And how would he … this moment I thought I understood something.
“You?” I asked my friend behind the counter and looked at him seriously, “why does he want to leave?”
“I think you already know.”
“Hm … I think so. Where is he? You, please tell me!”
I believe the entreating tone in my voice convinced him: “In a bar called 'Black Rose',” he said, “he'll perform there tonight, because someone had gotten sick and canceled the gig. Well, and if Hyde does well, he'll probably be hired again. You should hurry, he always performs for only one hour.”
I automatically nodded and also asked: “Where's this bar?”
“Wait a sec,” he said and scribbled down something on the small scratchpad he normally used to note the orders and handed the piece of paper to me.
“Thanks!” I said honestly and grabbed my jacket to get on my way, but You held me back.
“Gaku! Please, just leave him alone when he doesn't want to talk to you, okay?” he asked, “he looked very bad.” I nodded and finally left the bar. Outside I hailed a cab - judging by the address You had given me, this 'Black Rose' was at the city's other end.
During the ride I kept looking at my watch or annoying the driver with asking him if it was still far or how long it would take - just like a child. I guess he was quite relieved when we arrived at the bar and he got paid.
I hurried to the entrance immediately and the first thing I heard inside was Hyde beautiful voice:
I lie awake beside the windowsill
Like a flower in a vase, a moment caught in glass
The rays of sunlight come and beckon me
To a sleepy dreamy haze, a sense of summer days
If only I could stop the flow of time
Turn the clock to yesterday, erasing all the pain
I've only memories of happiness
Such a pleasure we have shared, I'd do it all again
This scenery is evergreen
As buds turn into leaves, the colors live and breathe
This scenery is evergreen
Your tears are falling silently
It was a sad song and I didn't wonder why he sang it, but when he had written it. A long or short time ago? Last night, to be precise.
I went to the stage a little more to get a better view. As usual Hyde sat on a bar stool, the microphone right in front of him. But this time, he didn't wear a suit, just normal jeans and a black buttoned shirt. He also wasn't supported by the piano, he used an acoustic guitar only.
So full of joy, you are a child of spring
With a beauty that is pure, an innocence endures
You flow right through me like a medicine
Bringing quiet to my soul, without you I'm not whole
This scenery is evergreen
I need you far too much, I long to feel your touch
This scenery is evergreen
You've always been so dear to me
Tears … I could see tears sparkling in the corner of Hyde's eyes. They grew and eventually rolled down his cheeks. At first he cried silently so that no one of the customers noticed it, unless they looked at him more closely. Only seconds later, I heard chocked sobs. During the small pauses between the verses Hyde tried to strengthen himself, but it didn't work well - his voice sounded throaty.
This scenery is evergreen
It sorrows at the sight of seeing you so sad
This scenery is evergreen
I wish that I could dry your tears
The bells have rung, the time has come
I cannot find the words to say my last ... goodbye ...
Right after this verse he was done for. He tried to continue the song, but his voice died down and instead he sobbed. He barely managed to say “I'm sorry”, before he put away the guitar and left the stage quickly.
I heard the audience murmuring, but I didn't care; I only concentrated on Hyde. Apparently, he didn't see me coming, since he tried to wipe the tears off of his eyes and stumbled directly into my arms. I held him silently and stroked his hair. He let me have my way - at least until I whispered his name.
“Haido …” At that moment he pushed me away, looked at me for a few seconds in a hurt way and then he fled, before I could say anything else. But this time I wouldn't give up that fast, definitely not! I followed him quickly and could only just jump into the cab he had hailed.
“Stop!” he called the driver and put a hand on the doorknob to leave the car.
“No!” I protested, grabbed his arm and shouted to the man at the front, “Drive off! Drive off!”
“You can't make me stay with you! I don't want to be with you!” Hyde hissed, while the taxi driver decided to follow the orders of the louder one of us - namely: me - and drove off.
“You're lying.” I said calmly. “Or you wouldn't cry.”
“That's none of your business!” he still hissed, though sounding not as firm as he had just a moment ago.
“But you don't deny that you lied?”
“I … leave me alone! I don't wanna see you, Gackt!”
“No, Hideto, I won't.”
“Don't call me by this name! I don’t want to have anything to do with you!”
“And why?”
“None of your business!”
“I won't let you go until you have talked to me and given me a good reason.”
“Yes, you will! I-”
“We have arrived,” the driver suddenly interfered, “would you mind to pay and continue your fight outside?”
“I'm sorry,” Hyde said in a normal sound level and took out his wallet to pay, “keep the change.” Then he hurried to get out of the car. It seemed as if he tried to enter the house without me following him. But he hadn't considered my pertinacity and it also took him too much time with the keys, so that I followed him before he could lock me out. At the staircase he tried to get me off his heels again and again I made sure to be right behind him. I could also get a foot between the door of his apartment and the wall and squeezed myself in.
“Out!” he shouted at me once more and pushed me away. “Leave! This is breach of domestic peace! You're not allowed to be here! I don't want you to! Please, just leave. Please …” His last word was only a quiet begging, a mixture of whispering and sobbing, and Hyde dropped to the ground powerlessly. His protective barrier was broken.
“You'll hate me.” He whined and covered his eyes with one of his hands.
“No, I won't.” I told him, knelt down next to him and wrapped my arms around him. And this time, he didn't protest, he let it happen.
“I lied to you.”
“I know.”
“No, you don't. I … we … we slept … together.”
“...” I swallowed. He was right, I didn't know this.
“When …?” I asked a little, hawing. Though I already knew the answer.
“The … the night we first met.” he replied ruefully. Seconds of silence passed and weighed on us. And then Hyde continued: “I know it was a mistake and … but it just happened … you were drunk and we kissed and then … I don't know how, but … you looked so desperate … I couldn't reject you and then … I … I …”
His voice got silent for one moment and eventually he whispered: “I fell in love with you.”
It was strange. When I thought about it twice this truth didn't feel that odd anymore. It neither knocked my socks off, nor made me mad. Quite the contrary: It made me smile.
“Haido,” I murmured and softly lifted his chin to look into his tear-stained eyes. He looked at me afflicted and waited. I knew he was waiting and I didn't make him wait any longer. I closed my eyes and kissed him. Hyde needed a moment to realize what I was doing, before he finally kissed me back hesitantly. But when it seemed to have completely sunk into his mind, he got more demanding, opened his mouth and let my tongue in, without me needing to ask for permission. At the same time his tongue came towards mine and he sighed contently, when our tongues met.
“Gacchan …”
“Haido …” I replied, also with a sigh, and kissed him again and more deeply. We kissed until we needed to part for breath. For a moment I treasured the feeling that Hyde's lips had left on mine, before I looked at him directly. Tears welled up in his eyes, but somehow I knew they didn't mean sadness. I wiped them away carefully, placed one more kiss on the tip of his nose and smiled.
“Come,” I said softly and offered my hand to help him getting up, “we shouldn't spend a whole night on the floor, should we?”
“N-no, we shouldn't.” Hyde agreed quietly and wrapped his arms around my neck instead of taking my hand. He was … cute … the way he acted - as if he was still afraid I could leave as soon as he let go of me. To finally get off the floor I also wound my arms around him and raised him up. At the same time he entwined his legs round my hip to hold on to me as tightly as possible. I laughed softly and he nestled close to me. This way I could take him from here much better anyway. I turned and … well, where should I go?
And as if I had spoken my thoughts out loud, Hyde whispered: “To the bed … please …”
“Okay.” To be honest I had already known that we would end up there, so I had no qualms heading to the bedroom immediately. The room was - as well as the whole apartment - pitch-black and I needed to look for a light switch at first. When I didn't find one, I felt Hyde's hand wandering along my arm and eventually pushing a switch at the wall to turn on a lamp nearby the night stand. Dimmed light illuminated the room.
“Thanks.” I murmured and covered the short distance to the king-size bed. There I let him down, took off my and his shoes and finally got onto the bed as well to lay down next to him. I wanted to kiss him, but Hyde placed one finger on my lips. Something still seemed to bother him, while I thought everything was okay now.
“Gacchan,” he began, “you … you don't need to do this … I don't want you to be here just because you're pitying me.” I sighed. It seemed that I was still a stupid idiot who needed to learn that things weren't automatically clear when I thought they were.
“And why do you think it's just pity?” I asked thereupon.
“Because you and Shi- … you're taken again and-”
“Shhh~” I interrupted Hyde, before he could talk himself into believing something that wasn't true. “At the moment me and Shizuka have nothing to do with each other. Do you really think I would take her back after she had treated me that way? But you, you cared for me and made me feel better. I have no reason not to stay with you.” With that I had tried to convince him, but apparently it didn't work - Hyde just shook his head.
“You won't be able to give me what I want.”
“What makes you think so?”
“Way too much.” Hyde said resigning and sat up. Almost immediately I was at his side again and said to him: “But you're wrong.”
“Then … prove it.” It wasn't an order or anything, rather a question, so I could object it at any time. And he expected me to do so, I could see it in his eyes.
“How?” I just wanted to know.
“I … erm … tell me … you love me.”
A confession, he wanted a confession. I really wasn't able to give him what he wanted; instead I just stared at his lips that were slightly opened in anticipation of my answer. To him it must've been the proof that he was right.
“You see?! You can't say it, so it's pointless.”
“No, it's not,” I replied, finally finding the words, “I'm just not sure what I should think of myself.”
“That's exactly the same.”
“No,” I protested, took his face in my hands and just kissed him. When he didn't want to believe me I needed to show him. It simply was hard to say 'I love you' when you just broke up with your girlfriend and particular ex-girlfriend suddenly stood at your doormat to happily declare that she wanted you back. And when you've been so blind as me …
But Hyde kept being stubborn and didn't kiss me back.
“It's not that easy, Gacchan,” he said, shaking his head, “a kiss doesn't need love or affection.”
“What can I do to show you that I'm serious?”
“Sleep with me!” What?! I hadn't seen this coming. And it seemed as if Hyde hadn't as well. He bit his lower lip, blushed and immediately took it back: “No, wait, forget it … it's childish to ask that of you.”
Maybe it was, but it was also the best way to convince him, even though it was something completely new to me. Sleeping with a … man … I shivered lightly - I didn't know how … and … Goddammit! I did trust Hyde, didn't I?!
“I've never done it with a man,” I finally admitted, “I-”
“Don't worry, Gacchan. I said you should forget it. I … knew you would never agree.” he said, a hint of sadness in his voice.
“No!” I countered quickly, “I didn't mean it that way! I've just never slept with a man … at least not consciously. You?”
Thereupon Hyde laughed bitterly: “I thought you already noticed that I'm not interested in women at all.” I didn't … or I hadn't wanted to. Though until this morning I hadn't even considered that Hyde could fall in love with me. Or that I … but it was the way it was and if I couldn't pull myself together now Hyde would leave and this was the last thing I wanted - the very last! And to be precise we already had slept together.
I breathed deeply once more and told Hyde what I had decided: “Okay, I will-”
“What?” When I hadn't heard Hyde asking me I would've thought I had surprised him. Whereat he indeed looked as if he had never expected this reply. He who had encouraged me the whole time had stopped hoping … and now I made him hope again.
“I will sleep with you,” I continued, “but you must help me. I have no clue what I can do and what I shouldn't. You're not a woman anyway and … just say something!” Or I would shoot myself in the foot.
It still took a few seconds, before Hyde believed that I wasn't joking. He finally smiled again and seemed happy. He placed a hand on my cheek and stroked it until I closed my eyes. A very light kiss followed, it was fleeting and shallow, almost not there. His hand wandered from my cheek to my neck, alongside my arm to my hand. He grabbed it and rested it on his chest. I could feel his heart beating under my fingertips - fast and strong, a steady beat. Then he opened two of the buttons of his shirt to show me what I should do next. Okay, I could've figured this out by myself!
I grumbled because of my own stupidity, while Hyde laughed: “Last time you weren't that clueless.”
“It's not funny, Haido!” I groaned. “Last time I was drunk.”
“So, you wanna drink a whole bottle of wine first?”
“No! I want to remember it this time.”
“Good …” Hyde nodded contently, came a little closer and nestled up against me for a moment or two, before he started to fumble with the hem of my shirt. Willingly I let him pull it over my head and asked for a kiss in return, since I had been so obedient. This time it was a real kiss. I truly enjoyed feeling Hyde’s tongue, fighting for dominance. I eventually let him have his way, concentrating on unbuttoning his shirt to finally get it off of him as well.
But Hyde didn't make it that easy for me, since his hands began caressing the upper part of my body almost everywhere. He stroked my stomach, my chest, my nipples - his touches were as light as a feather and it drove me almost insane. Unwillingly I let out a cry that sounded like a whimper, and he just laughed heartily. Arg, Hyde!
Though he tortured me I finally managed to slip the dark fabric off his shoulders. His skin that was revealed was so smooth and flawless … flawless except for the three piercings that decorated his nipples and his belly button. But I wasn't sure whether or not you could call them a flaw at all. Rather not.
And then I saw them! Hyde broke our kiss and started caressing my neck instead; whereat he tilted his head, his hair falling aside and I got a full view of his shoulder blade. He had wings … angel wings … and they fit his kind nature exactly. Even though this kind nature apparently was on a holiday right now, since I couldn't suppress a moan when Hyde simply opened the zipper of my pants, slid his hands into my underwear and suddenly he was massaging the most sensitive part of my body. I was so surprised I even bit his neck accidentally when I actually tried to kiss it.
“Ah!” Of course he cried out in pain and stopped all his actions.
“I'm sorry,” I murmured and looked at him ruefully, “I didn't want to bite you, please forgive me …”
“It's okay,” Hyde said and shook his head, “I was a little too fast and to make it up you can … blow to make it better, if you want.” Blow? My gaze wandered down to his crotch. Blow? … Oh my god, no, I couldn't do that - really not that.
“Haido, you-”
“Not there,” he answered quickly, when he noticed what I was looking at, and lifted my chin, “I meant here ...” He pointed at the spot I just had bitten.
“Oh … I see …” A little more encouraged I took his hand and kissed its back. Another kiss I planted on the wound at his neck and then I actually wanted to let go of him.
“More,” Hyde pleaded though, “please more, Gacchan …” He really seemed to enjoy it and so I obeyed, kissed this spot once more and lightly sucked on his skin.
His reaction was a deep sigh: “Mmhhh~ I want more, Gacchan.” And again I fulfilled his wish, nipping at his skin and showering his whole neck with kisses. I placed my hands on his sides and pulled him a little closer. It was an action I actually didn't need to do, since Hyde snuggled closer to me anyway. The longer I pleased him, the more his sighing turned to gasping and eventually he moaned into my ear lowly.
“Gacchan~”
Hot and cold waves ran down my spine, when I heard him. But it was a good feeling - everything felt good, also when Hyde pressed and rubbed his lower body directly against mine. And it turned me on. God, suddenly my pants were so tight … another thing that melted my doubts.
“Haido,” I whispered against his skin and stopped kissing his neck. I searched for his eyes instead and looked into his dreamy gaze. And as if we had choreographed it, we looked at each other for one moment, before we leaned forward at the same time and shared another kiss.
While Hyde massaged my erection again, my hands wandered across his body: to his stomach and his chest. My fingertips circled his nipples a little until they were hard and then they moved further to Hyde's shoulders, his back and down his spine. The hem of his pants stopped their small journey … more or less, since without hesitating I pushed his pants and underwear down and immediately touched the skin that had just appeared. I could feel Hyde grinning and licking the back side my teeth once, before he parted from me.
“Do you want it now?” he asked then.
“Yes,” I answered without thinking about it anymore.
“Just wait a second.” He got up and crawled to the night stand to get something from there. I already could imagine what it was, knelt down on the mattress and lowered my head. I looked directly at my opened pants and the huge bulge in my crotch. Soon we would do it and I couldn't deny that I was nervous.
What would it feel like? What would Hyde want me to do? And most of all: Would I do something wrong that could seriously hurt him? So much insecurity that bothered me.
“Are you alright, Gacchan?” Hyde asked, bringing me back to reality, and knelt down in front of me. He had already taken off all his clothes so that I got a perfect view on everything.
“Uhm … yes,” I replied quickly.
“Really? You look quite nervous.”
“I am. I have no clue and … yeah, that's it …” Hyde laughed once and then he looked at me lovingly.
“You're cute, Gacchan,” he said and ran a hand through my hair, “I'll show you everything. Nothing will go wrong as long as you're gentle to me.”
“Okay.” Gentle …
“But first you need to undress, I wanna see you,” he added, chuckling. I did as he had said, took off my clothes, sat back down on the mattress and Hyde pressed something into my hand: a condom.
“You know how this works, right?” he commented and grinned.
“Don't get cheeky with me!” I teased and yet I hurried to roll the condom down to not waste even more time. Or else my nerves would kill me before we even started.
Then Hyde gave me a bottle of lube and explained: “You coat you fingers with this, two or three should do it, and then we'll continue.” After he had said this, he opened the bottle and spurted some of its content on my hands so that I could apply it. Hyde helped me and in the end his hands were as slippery as mine. He even insisted on patting my cheeks and covered my face with lube by doing so. It smelled of vanilla.
“You're such a child!“ I told him, laughing. Hyde knew it wasn't an insult and laughed as well.
“Yes, I am,” he said and leaned in to press a brief kiss onto my lips. It was good … the kiss and our bantering made me relax and I felt a little more ready as I did before.
“Okay,” he eventually told me, “let's go.”
“Yes.”
Hyde wrapped one arm around my body and placed his hand between my shoulder blades. With his other hand he took mine to guide it to his back and also his butt. Then he demonstrated me what I had to do and I closed my eyes.
“Do you feel that?” he asked, making me rub my finger over a ring of muscles.
“Yes …” I affirmed.
“That's the entrance. And don't forget: Be gentle.”
“Erm … yes …” I felt stupid for always replying with this single word, as if I didn't know any others. But on the other hand it was a strange imagination … well, I didn't even want to know where exactly and in which way I would be in him. The only thing I could do was to follow Hyde's orders. I breathed once more and carefully pushed my finger past his entrance.
It was odd - tight, hot and … just different from everything I had experienced so far. But Hyde seemed to truly enjoy it. He had moaned right after I had entered him.
“Gacchan!” he called my name, buried his face in my neck, pressed his fingernails against my neck and clawed at my hip with his other hand.
“Please … move …”
I wasn't sure what I should do, since 'move' could mean a lot.
“Please~” he almost begged. Thereupon I moved my finger … somehow, in several directions and luckily it seemed to be exactly what Hyde wanted. Again he moaned, loudly and in a satisfied way.
“Now the second one,” he demanded a little later and moved his hips against my hand, “and then … mhh~ … you …”
“Really … already?”
“Yes~ I'm just waiting … for you … you won't hurt me … don't worry …”
Between his words he panted and needed to take in breaths. His hot forehead still rested at my neck.
Hesitantly I followed his instructions and entered him with a second wet finger, making scissoring movements, whereupon Hyde pressed himself against me, his whole body trembling. And by that … I could feel his erection touching mine … which made me feel as if he had massaged me there for minutes.
“Ah-” a cry slipped out from my throat.
“Beautiful~,” Hyde purred, “do it again …”
“W-what?”
“Moan again.”
Oh my god, no! Not on command! And anyway … I just began kissing his neck and nape instead.
“Gacchan, please~,” he begged again, doing it in such a cute tone that I couldn't refuse it anymore. I stretched out my neck to reach his ear with my lips and murmured a low and long “Ahh.” But Hyde didn't seem satisfied yet. On the contrary: Right now he apparently became truly … turned on.
“Gachan, I want you … now …”
And I wanted him too - the urgency of my erection had become almost unbearable within the last few minutes. And I even almost came when I felt Hyde's cold, slippery hands around my member, coating it with lube. I held my breath while he was busy and didn't let it out until he pulled my hand out of himself. I relaxed, only for a second, since Hyde really didn't want to wait any longer. He pushed me down a little, sat on my lap and pushed himself down on me.
Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!
“Oh my god!! Haido …” He was incredibly tight and … I wouldn't be able to take it for long, I already knew this.
“Thanks.”
Hyde moaned and I moaned as well and we began to move in the same rhythm - back and forth, up and down, faster and faster.
“Haido … ah- Haido … I-” I panted uncontrollably. I didn't know what I wanted to tell him. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to say anything, except his name. My heart pounded against my ribs, my blood whooshed in my ears, I felt hot and everything I sensed was Hyde, pressing himself to my body, clinging to me, taking me in and …
Then there suddenly were his lips at mine, starting a kiss which made everything a little more perfect. Hyde buried his hands in my hair as if he wanted to prevent me parting from him. Though, it wasn't necessary. The kiss lasted and lasted and lasted, while I kept thrusting deeply into his body and believed I came closer to heaven with every single thrust.
“Gacchan,” Hyde said after what seemed like an eternity, panting and parting from me, “I love you, Gacchan.”
“I …” I still didn't know what I felt for him. “Hideto-” But he just kissed me again and silenced me by doing so, just taking everything I was willing to give him.
*
God, it was so embarrassing to write certain parts of this chapter D: And yesss, Hyde's a little whiny, but it's an old story - nowadays I try to write male characters more realistic ^^'