Four Nights - Pt. 3: Angel's Tale
Title: Four Nights
Fandom: Gackt, Hyde
Genre: AU, Boys Love, Romance
Pairing: GakuHai
Rating: PG-13
Language: English
Summary: Gackt gets dumped by his girlfriend and wants to drown himself in alcohol to finally forget her. But before he can do so, he meets Hyde who works as a singer and entertains the costumers of a bar. They 'decide' to become friends and Hyde offers help in getting over the lover's grief.
Note: This is just a translation and english is not my first language. Again BIG thanks to
eadwine63 for proof reading and helping out with translating some parts :3
Disclaimer: They belong to themselves (unfortunately *wants them* ;x;) and Hyde owns the lyrics.
Gackt's POV
Third Night: ANGEL'S TALE
It was Friday again - exactly one week after I had met Hyde in You's bar. Since then, we had met almost every day and had done various things: Spending time at a public park I hadn't known, eating ice cream or watching a movie at the cinema. Nearly every time Hyde had picked me up in the afternoon, without telling me what he had planned for that particular day. He was really creative in organizing our spare time and - what I had to admit - a master in distracting me from my distress with the simplest things of life. I thought less and less about Shizuka, especially when I was with Hyde. It felt nice and comforting, what was most likely caused by his unusually open mind and stability; he seemed to be a person that was completely content with himself.
Meanwhile I had come to know a lot about him. He for example had studied music once, but afterwards hadn't found a job, which forced him to do small jobs. So, now he was a waiter at a cafe on working days and in the weekends he did shows on his own or with his band. He also he liked chocolate that much that I would call it an addiction. Admittedly I hadn't believed him, if he hadn't eaten two whole bars in front of my eyes. At least it didn't affect his weight - after all I had seen him almost naked twice. Hyde was full of surprises and that he already was 29 was one of them as well. Four years older and yet more than one head smaller than me!
My mood was a lot better than last week, when I entered the bar this time. Once I had closed the door behind me, I could feel Hyde's gaze on me. He sat on that bar stool again, singing his songs for the customers of the bar.
I raised a hand, waved and smiled at him and got the smile returned. He wasn't done with his show yet, so I decided to spend the remaining time at the counter. I had just sat down, when You returned with an empty tray.
“Gaku!” he greeted happily, “you're here again. How are you?”
“Hi, You.” I laughed. “I'm fine. Thanks for asking.” This time I was serious.
“Sounds good. So, Hyde managed to cheer you up?”
“Yep, you could say so.” I smirked when I said this. Hyde didn't just cheer me up in an unusual, but also an extraordinary way.
“If you wanna go into detail, you can always talk to me, you know?”
“Depends on what you're willing to pay.” I shot back on this - almost insolent - reply. If it hadn't been You who had asked, I most likely had answered differently.
“Wait a bit then, I’ll go get some more tips.” he said, jokingly, took his tray and hurried to a corner where a customer seemed to be waving for him. I was still smirking and paid attention to Hyde again who was about to announce his last song for that evening.
“Thank you for coming here and listening to me, I hope you enjoyed my small show. If you want to, you can return to this bar tomorrow. I'll be here from 8 until 9 pm. And now, the last song - the story of an angel: Angel's Tale.” Some customers applauded and the piano started playing the intro. Hyde closed his eyes and seemed to concentrate on the song completely. And he didn't even open them when he began to sing:
Here in my heart
Memories linger
I hold them sacred
Safe from all others
Angel's tale
A love such as this
Once in a lifetime
Lost in your beauty
Still dreaming of you
Angel's tale
You drove the sinner from me
And shone with such glory
Touching me softly
My breath torn away
Wrapped in a silver veil
Under skies so pale
Trembling as I watched you
One holy night
Angel
Snow can be warm
Didn't you know that
Just like a snowflake
Falling from heaven
Angel's tale
It was a nice song with a light, almost floating melody - the description of a wonderful dream … or of heaven, since Hyde had named it Angel's Tale.
I kept my feeling from you
The heavens divide us
I longed to tell you
All my heart's desire
If I only had wings
Wings as white as yours
Up into the sky
I'd surely fly
Angel
The dream disappeared and became a wish that seemed to be unreachable. And so did Hyde's features - his face seemed to have an … afflicted expression that I hadn't seen on it before.
Why had he written this song? Had he himself been in such a situation? He hadn't told me much about his former relationships or his current love life. I would have to ask him.
Yes, on such snowy nights
Memories revive
Your eternal flame
Burning again
Secret
It must be cruel to love someone without letting the particular person know about your love. I couldn't imagine the full extent, since I had never suffered from this. But … if he really was in love right now and had to hear that his loved one wanted another person … I shook my head. He actually had his own problems and I whined about my distresses with Shizuka.
Here in my heart
Memories linger
I hold them sacred
Safe from all others
Angel's tale
Hyde opened his eyes once more, when the last word had left his lips.
“Thanks a lot and good evening” he whispered into the microphone after a few seconds and slipped off the bar stool to bow and thanked again for the new applause. Then he completely left the stage and came over to me.
“Hey~ Gacchan.” he greeted, smiling at me, and flung his arms around me. I returned the hug just weakly and he seemed to notice it.
“Everything okay?” he asked with a frown and looked at me worriedly.
Quickly I shook my head and replied: “I'm fine. But something's bothering you, right?” Hyde blinked in an irritated manner and his frown deepened.
“Why should I be bothered?” he said and tilted his head a little. “I was looking forward to this evening for the whole day and now you're here.”
I sighed: “I just thought … because of your last song … that you just say you're alright to not depress me when I trouble you with my problems while you have your own ones.
“Gacchan,” he murmured, stroked my cheek lightly and smiled weakly, “thanks for worrying, but believe me: Everything's okay. I handle
emotions by writing songs and yet this doesn't mean that I feel bad.” It was an evasive answer I wasn't satisfied with.
“But-” I couldn't say anything else, since Hyde put his fingertips on my lips and made me silent.
“Come on, Gacchan. You're here, I'm happy and that's it.” This and his smile was enough to know that he wouldn't change his mind. I had to accept it and nodded silently.
“Well, I’ll just go get my stuff from backstage. I'll be right back.” he then said and hurried to the personnel department of the bar. My smile dropped immediately and I sighed resignedly.
“Hey Gak- … oh, why so sad? A minute ago you were in a better mood.” You's voice reached my ear and I turned my head.
“Uhm …,” I groaned in frustration and scratched my forehead, “did you notice that Hyde's been kinda different this evening?”
“Different?” You repeated, thought about it for a second and eventually shook his head. “No, not really. But you shouldn't ask me, he just does his shows and leaves right after they end; I don't talk to him that much.”
“Hm … okay, thanks” I replied anyway and slipped off of the bar stool, since Hyde was coming back from the backstage area. “Well … have a good evening, You.”
“You, too. Bye.”
“Bye, You!” Hyde who just joined us said as well. “See you tomorrow.
Let's go.” The last sentence was addressed to me, I nodded and followed Hyde out of the bar.
Outside, Hyde sighed audibly: “You still don't believe me, do you, Gacchan?” Where the hell did he get this from?
“I do, it's just ...” I protested immediately, but was cut off quickly
“You're lying.” Hyde pointed out and waited for me to admit everything.
I refused to do so and remained silent for some time, until Hyde poked me and I gave in: “I'm just worried.”
“Which's cute, but I already told you: You don't need to. I'm a grown man, I can deal with it.”
“So, there is something wrong.”
“Okay okay, you got me. But I can deal with it after all.” He finally admitted.
“And? Will you tell me?”
“Nope. Since it's really nothing.”
“Meany!”
“Nag!”
“Thanks~”
He looked at me in bewilderment and then began giggling. I couldn't hold my laughter any longer though and joined him. I still didn't know what had caused Hyde's mood, but at least he had told me there was something bothering him. So, he hadn't a problem in trusting me and for now it felt alright. For how long it would be like this was a different thing. But I would get to know this soon.
We went to my place again and reached it after just a short walk. Right after Hyde had entered the apartment he dropped his bag next to and himself onto the sofa and stretched his arms copiously.
“Uhh,” he groaned, “my back's killing me.”
“Was the show that tiring?” I asked, walking from the hallway to the kitchen where I got glasses and something to drink for the both of us.
“Not the show,” was his reply, “today I had a full shift in the cafe and half of it I had to carry crates forth and back again. From the car to the storage, from the storage to the cafe and from the cafe to the storage, since I had brought two crates too much. And so on.”
“Oh, not good.” I commented, placed everything I was holding on the coffee table and sat down next to Hyde. “Want a massage? Friends keep telling me I'd be quite a good masseur.” Immediately a bright smile appeared on Hyde's face.
“Sounds alluring. Let me just change my clothes first, okay?” Ah yes, he still wore the black suit he always seemed to wear when he did a gig at You's bar.
“Of course.” I replied and he stood up, got his bag and took out some clothes … several clothes, he almost emptied his bag on my couch. My eyes went wide, when I saw what Hyde carried around.
“Is this the whole content of your wardrobe or only half of it?” I asked and got a chuckle in return.
“None of it. But some casual stuff and the uniform I have to wear in the cafe.” He explained, took off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt.
“Alright ...” And indeed … amidst of his clothes was a long black apron with a white emblem printed in one of the bottom corners.
Hyde shrugged the shirt off of his shoulders and was about to unzip his pants, when … Wait a sec! Did he really want to change in front of my eyes? It seemed so, since he took off his pants before I could even think anything else, so that only his boxers were left. And he stood in front of me that way for damn a long time, while he was rummaging through his clothes, apparently to find the right ones.
And what did I do? I stared at him! I didn't even realize that my glance was almost glued to his bare chest. I examined (or rather admired) his light skin, his flat stomach and his … piercings? Why hadn't I noticed them earlier? Though I had … Now I even stared straight at the small metal rings at his belly button and his nipples - they reflected the light when Hyde moved a bit and flashed briefly.
But then Hyde blocked my sight by pulling on a shirt with the words 'Route 666' on it. He dropped it at first, but then he got dressed as soon as possible. I shook my head once and saw him already wearing his jeans. For how long had I been staring? And even more importantly: did he notice it?
A short look at his face told me that he was pressing his lips together as if he regretted that he hadn't used the bathroom to change clothes.
God, he … did notice something … but I didn't say anything and he did the same.
I waited until he was done stuffing his clothes into his bag, sat down next to me again and turned to show me his back.
“Well … show me what you are able to/can do.” he asked me with an unusually low voice. I really shouldn't have stared at him. Though I actually hadn't expected him to react this way. I had thought there wouldn't be anything in this world that could bring Hyde into such a mood. Changing clothes seemed like nothing after I had seen him half-naked last Sunday.
I hesitated for a moment before I put my hands on his shoulders and start massaging him gently. He indeed was quite tense and actually he needed a pro. He even confirmed my suspicion by - still kinda shyly - saying: “You can actually grip a little tighter.”
“Okay.” I responded and used more strength, receiving a sigh. It also didn't take long until Hyde relaxed visibly which relieved me.
“Enjoying it?”
“Yes~” he whispered in return and at the same time showed me that he was content having me around.
“Good.”
I continued massaging him for a while, but then it got a little difficult, since Hyde began to lean in more and more.
“Haido?” I said.
“Hm?”
“What're you doing?”
“Nothing.” It was far from 'nothing'. He eventually leaned against me completely, grabbed my hands and made me wind my arms around him.
“Haido?”
“Please … just a little.” He just plead and I let him continue, not saying anything. I would have loved to see his face right now, his eyes, his whole mimic. Since I was right … whatever was wrong with him, it bothered him more than he admitted. And then a choked sob broke the silence.
“Haido … please tell me what's going on.” I pleaded.
“No.” he replied again.
“Why not?”
“Because I'm fine.”
“You're not and we both know it!” Saying this, I pushed him away and just turned him around to look into his face. And there they were: tears in his eyes and on his cheeks.
“I can't tell you,” he says, snuffling and shaking his head, “I just can't.”
“Why not?”
Hyde's lower lip trembled and he eventually bit it, apparently to stop the trembling.
“Why?” I asked again.
“Because …,” he started, “because …” Then he grew silent and just painfully looked at me, pressing his lips together. Suddenly the atmosphere was in some way electrified and my heart started pounding faster than normal. We didn't say anything and just stared at each other - for minutes. But then Hyde closed his eyes and leaned forward. My eyelids shut as well as I expected … a kiss … a kiss Hyde was about to give me.
His lips didn't touch mine softly, no … he kissed me hard and desperately. As if he was starving for it. At the same time he entwined his arms around my neck and almost clung to me. What had happened? What had he been put through that made him jump on me? Yeah, you could say that he did so, since he didn't just kiss me. Just a few moments later, he crawled onto my lap, his hands wandering up and down my body and finally sneaking under my shirt.
“Gacchan ...” he sighed almost longingly, broke our kiss, but started to caress my neck. I had no idea why I tilted my head and exposed my neck even more instead of stopping him. Actually we shouldn't do this, actually I should protect him from doing something he surely would regret. I could already see him hating himself for cheating on his beloved one because he was upset right now. But no, nothing, not even one bit of common sense. Just his lips on my neck and a way too comfortable prickling in my stomach.
“Haido,” I replied to his sighing, “I ...”
“You?”
I … jumped when the doorbell suddenly rang and Hyde almost fell off of the sofa.
“Sorry, I … the door …” I stammered and stood up immediately.
“It's … okay.” he said, weakly smiling, and backed off to the other end of the sofa.
“Erm … yes …” Then I literally fled to the hallway, ran my hand through my hair once and put on a fake smile, before I opened the door. For a reason I didn't know myself I didn't want to think about what had just happened.
But the smile fell off my face immediately when I saw who had come to visit me.
“Shikuza.” I whispered almost tonelessly and was completely confused.
“Hello, Camui,” she greeted, “can I come in?”
“Erm …” I was about to answer, but my mind was full of … nothing. I could just step back to let her in.
“Thanks.”
Even when I closed the door, I wasn't fully aware of what was happening right now. I turned and faced her, looking at her expectantly. I had expected me to be the happiest man on earth when Shizuka finally returned. But right now … I didn't feel that happy. I guess it was because of the fact that I had been with Hyde just moments ago and we had … damn! What was wrong with me? I just wanted Shizuka back!
“Camui, I thought things through,” she started to explain her sudden pop up, “we had a great time together and I'd be a pity to throw that away - even if you made mistakes. I mean, we love each other, don’t we?” Do we?
“Do you still love me after you ignored me for weeks?” I asked her directly.
“Of course, Camui,” she answered purring and came over to me to place a hand on my cheek, “You've always been good to me and-”
“Gacchan?” I suddenly heard Hyde's voice asking. I turned and looked at the entrance of my living room where he stood. And Shizuka did so as well.
“Who's this?” she wanted to know and eyed him.
“Oh, I'm sorry. I totally forgot-”
“I'm Hyde,” he introduced himself before I could do it, “and you are Shizuka, right? Gacchan has told me of you. Nice to meet you.” Shizuka must've been impressed by Hyde's charming behavior, but I saw that most of it was fake. Because he only knew the bad sides of our relationship and not much of the good ones, I guess.
“Nice to meet you, too. Are you a friend of Camui?” Shizuka replied kindly.
“You could say so. Well then, I need to go. I'll call you later, Gacchan. Bye!” What?! I first noticed that he had already brought his bag with him when he said good-bye and hugged me lightly.
“Goodbye.” Shizuka also said with a calm tone and took the words out of my mouth - words I actually didn't want to say.
“Haido!” I tried to hold him back, but it was too late.
“It's okay, Gacchan, I understand.” he said with a contrite tone in his voice and then he simply left. I just stared at the door that he closed after he had stepped out and had a weird feeling in my stomach.
“'Gacchan',” Shizuka chuckled, “what a cute name. But aren't you a bit too old for those kind of nicknames?” I looked at her again, my lips twitching.
“I don't think so,” I replied dryly, “he called me this the whole time!”
“Okay, okay, it's your business,” she immediately replied a little huffy, “I'm not here because of your friends anyway, but of you and me. So, let's just forget this rubbish and start anew.” While she talked about her plans, she wound her arms around my neck and tugged me down to kiss me. But after just one moment I almost ripped myself off of her, since first: I hadn't even had time to answer; and second … second … it felt so … weird - wrong even and it wasn't because she had just told me that she wanted me back. No, something was different.
“Shizuka, please don't,” I said, “you simply can't pretend as if nothing happened. And you also can't come over, still blaming me for everything, and think that I wouldn't complain. Not after you ignored me like this, though I begged you to talk to me.”
“But Gacchan-”
“Don't call me by that name!” I suddenly snapped at her without even wanting to and even scared myself. “I … I'm sorry … Haido gave me this name. It's ...” But now I had screwed up even more. Shizuka pursed her lips and shook her head.
“You've changed in the meantime … and not in a good way. I just hope you are not trying to tell me you don't want me anymore.” Then she looked at me sternly and waited for an answer.
“That's not easy,” I tried to explain, “I need time to think things through.”
It seemed as if this didn't please her much: “Okay … think things through, think as much as you want and tell me then. But don't believe I'll wait for you forever!” After she had thrown these words at me, she turned and left my apartment, shutting the door with a loud bang, before I could say even one word to calm her down a little.
She was gone. And Hyde as well. And I was an idiot for doing nothing but letting everything happen again. A complete idiot.
*
God, LJ gave me a headache again x_x It messed up all the paragraphs and I needed to edit them by using the html-editor, since using rich-text was completly useless. I hope everything is alright now. It still looks a little weird, but I guess that's because of the dialogues ^^'
Fandom: Gackt, Hyde
Genre: AU, Boys Love, Romance
Pairing: GakuHai
Rating: PG-13
Language: English
Summary: Gackt gets dumped by his girlfriend and wants to drown himself in alcohol to finally forget her. But before he can do so, he meets Hyde who works as a singer and entertains the costumers of a bar. They 'decide' to become friends and Hyde offers help in getting over the lover's grief.
Note: This is just a translation and english is not my first language. Again BIG thanks to
eadwine63 for proof reading and helping out with translating some parts :3
Disclaimer: They belong to themselves (unfortunately *wants them* ;x;) and Hyde owns the lyrics.
Gackt's POV
Third Night: ANGEL'S TALE
It was Friday again - exactly one week after I had met Hyde in You's bar. Since then, we had met almost every day and had done various things: Spending time at a public park I hadn't known, eating ice cream or watching a movie at the cinema. Nearly every time Hyde had picked me up in the afternoon, without telling me what he had planned for that particular day. He was really creative in organizing our spare time and - what I had to admit - a master in distracting me from my distress with the simplest things of life. I thought less and less about Shizuka, especially when I was with Hyde. It felt nice and comforting, what was most likely caused by his unusually open mind and stability; he seemed to be a person that was completely content with himself.
Meanwhile I had come to know a lot about him. He for example had studied music once, but afterwards hadn't found a job, which forced him to do small jobs. So, now he was a waiter at a cafe on working days and in the weekends he did shows on his own or with his band. He also he liked chocolate that much that I would call it an addiction. Admittedly I hadn't believed him, if he hadn't eaten two whole bars in front of my eyes. At least it didn't affect his weight - after all I had seen him almost naked twice. Hyde was full of surprises and that he already was 29 was one of them as well. Four years older and yet more than one head smaller than me!
My mood was a lot better than last week, when I entered the bar this time. Once I had closed the door behind me, I could feel Hyde's gaze on me. He sat on that bar stool again, singing his songs for the customers of the bar.
I raised a hand, waved and smiled at him and got the smile returned. He wasn't done with his show yet, so I decided to spend the remaining time at the counter. I had just sat down, when You returned with an empty tray.
“Gaku!” he greeted happily, “you're here again. How are you?”
“Hi, You.” I laughed. “I'm fine. Thanks for asking.” This time I was serious.
“Sounds good. So, Hyde managed to cheer you up?”
“Yep, you could say so.” I smirked when I said this. Hyde didn't just cheer me up in an unusual, but also an extraordinary way.
“If you wanna go into detail, you can always talk to me, you know?”
“Depends on what you're willing to pay.” I shot back on this - almost insolent - reply. If it hadn't been You who had asked, I most likely had answered differently.
“Wait a bit then, I’ll go get some more tips.” he said, jokingly, took his tray and hurried to a corner where a customer seemed to be waving for him. I was still smirking and paid attention to Hyde again who was about to announce his last song for that evening.
“Thank you for coming here and listening to me, I hope you enjoyed my small show. If you want to, you can return to this bar tomorrow. I'll be here from 8 until 9 pm. And now, the last song - the story of an angel: Angel's Tale.” Some customers applauded and the piano started playing the intro. Hyde closed his eyes and seemed to concentrate on the song completely. And he didn't even open them when he began to sing:
Here in my heart
Memories linger
I hold them sacred
Safe from all others
Angel's tale
A love such as this
Once in a lifetime
Lost in your beauty
Still dreaming of you
Angel's tale
You drove the sinner from me
And shone with such glory
Touching me softly
My breath torn away
Wrapped in a silver veil
Under skies so pale
Trembling as I watched you
One holy night
Angel
Snow can be warm
Didn't you know that
Just like a snowflake
Falling from heaven
Angel's tale
It was a nice song with a light, almost floating melody - the description of a wonderful dream … or of heaven, since Hyde had named it Angel's Tale.
I kept my feeling from you
The heavens divide us
I longed to tell you
All my heart's desire
If I only had wings
Wings as white as yours
Up into the sky
I'd surely fly
Angel
The dream disappeared and became a wish that seemed to be unreachable. And so did Hyde's features - his face seemed to have an … afflicted expression that I hadn't seen on it before.
Why had he written this song? Had he himself been in such a situation? He hadn't told me much about his former relationships or his current love life. I would have to ask him.
Yes, on such snowy nights
Memories revive
Your eternal flame
Burning again
Secret
It must be cruel to love someone without letting the particular person know about your love. I couldn't imagine the full extent, since I had never suffered from this. But … if he really was in love right now and had to hear that his loved one wanted another person … I shook my head. He actually had his own problems and I whined about my distresses with Shizuka.
Here in my heart
Memories linger
I hold them sacred
Safe from all others
Angel's tale
Hyde opened his eyes once more, when the last word had left his lips.
“Thanks a lot and good evening” he whispered into the microphone after a few seconds and slipped off the bar stool to bow and thanked again for the new applause. Then he completely left the stage and came over to me.
“Hey~ Gacchan.” he greeted, smiling at me, and flung his arms around me. I returned the hug just weakly and he seemed to notice it.
“Everything okay?” he asked with a frown and looked at me worriedly.
Quickly I shook my head and replied: “I'm fine. But something's bothering you, right?” Hyde blinked in an irritated manner and his frown deepened.
“Why should I be bothered?” he said and tilted his head a little. “I was looking forward to this evening for the whole day and now you're here.”
I sighed: “I just thought … because of your last song … that you just say you're alright to not depress me when I trouble you with my problems while you have your own ones.
“Gacchan,” he murmured, stroked my cheek lightly and smiled weakly, “thanks for worrying, but believe me: Everything's okay. I handle
emotions by writing songs and yet this doesn't mean that I feel bad.” It was an evasive answer I wasn't satisfied with.
“But-” I couldn't say anything else, since Hyde put his fingertips on my lips and made me silent.
“Come on, Gacchan. You're here, I'm happy and that's it.” This and his smile was enough to know that he wouldn't change his mind. I had to accept it and nodded silently.
“Well, I’ll just go get my stuff from backstage. I'll be right back.” he then said and hurried to the personnel department of the bar. My smile dropped immediately and I sighed resignedly.
“Hey Gak- … oh, why so sad? A minute ago you were in a better mood.” You's voice reached my ear and I turned my head.
“Uhm …,” I groaned in frustration and scratched my forehead, “did you notice that Hyde's been kinda different this evening?”
“Different?” You repeated, thought about it for a second and eventually shook his head. “No, not really. But you shouldn't ask me, he just does his shows and leaves right after they end; I don't talk to him that much.”
“Hm … okay, thanks” I replied anyway and slipped off of the bar stool, since Hyde was coming back from the backstage area. “Well … have a good evening, You.”
“You, too. Bye.”
“Bye, You!” Hyde who just joined us said as well. “See you tomorrow.
Let's go.” The last sentence was addressed to me, I nodded and followed Hyde out of the bar.
Outside, Hyde sighed audibly: “You still don't believe me, do you, Gacchan?” Where the hell did he get this from?
“I do, it's just ...” I protested immediately, but was cut off quickly
“You're lying.” Hyde pointed out and waited for me to admit everything.
I refused to do so and remained silent for some time, until Hyde poked me and I gave in: “I'm just worried.”
“Which's cute, but I already told you: You don't need to. I'm a grown man, I can deal with it.”
“So, there is something wrong.”
“Okay okay, you got me. But I can deal with it after all.” He finally admitted.
“And? Will you tell me?”
“Nope. Since it's really nothing.”
“Meany!”
“Nag!”
“Thanks~”
He looked at me in bewilderment and then began giggling. I couldn't hold my laughter any longer though and joined him. I still didn't know what had caused Hyde's mood, but at least he had told me there was something bothering him. So, he hadn't a problem in trusting me and for now it felt alright. For how long it would be like this was a different thing. But I would get to know this soon.
We went to my place again and reached it after just a short walk. Right after Hyde had entered the apartment he dropped his bag next to and himself onto the sofa and stretched his arms copiously.
“Uhh,” he groaned, “my back's killing me.”
“Was the show that tiring?” I asked, walking from the hallway to the kitchen where I got glasses and something to drink for the both of us.
“Not the show,” was his reply, “today I had a full shift in the cafe and half of it I had to carry crates forth and back again. From the car to the storage, from the storage to the cafe and from the cafe to the storage, since I had brought two crates too much. And so on.”
“Oh, not good.” I commented, placed everything I was holding on the coffee table and sat down next to Hyde. “Want a massage? Friends keep telling me I'd be quite a good masseur.” Immediately a bright smile appeared on Hyde's face.
“Sounds alluring. Let me just change my clothes first, okay?” Ah yes, he still wore the black suit he always seemed to wear when he did a gig at You's bar.
“Of course.” I replied and he stood up, got his bag and took out some clothes … several clothes, he almost emptied his bag on my couch. My eyes went wide, when I saw what Hyde carried around.
“Is this the whole content of your wardrobe or only half of it?” I asked and got a chuckle in return.
“None of it. But some casual stuff and the uniform I have to wear in the cafe.” He explained, took off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt.
“Alright ...” And indeed … amidst of his clothes was a long black apron with a white emblem printed in one of the bottom corners.
Hyde shrugged the shirt off of his shoulders and was about to unzip his pants, when … Wait a sec! Did he really want to change in front of my eyes? It seemed so, since he took off his pants before I could even think anything else, so that only his boxers were left. And he stood in front of me that way for damn a long time, while he was rummaging through his clothes, apparently to find the right ones.
And what did I do? I stared at him! I didn't even realize that my glance was almost glued to his bare chest. I examined (or rather admired) his light skin, his flat stomach and his … piercings? Why hadn't I noticed them earlier? Though I had … Now I even stared straight at the small metal rings at his belly button and his nipples - they reflected the light when Hyde moved a bit and flashed briefly.
But then Hyde blocked my sight by pulling on a shirt with the words 'Route 666' on it. He dropped it at first, but then he got dressed as soon as possible. I shook my head once and saw him already wearing his jeans. For how long had I been staring? And even more importantly: did he notice it?
A short look at his face told me that he was pressing his lips together as if he regretted that he hadn't used the bathroom to change clothes.
God, he … did notice something … but I didn't say anything and he did the same.
I waited until he was done stuffing his clothes into his bag, sat down next to me again and turned to show me his back.
“Well … show me what you are able to/can do.” he asked me with an unusually low voice. I really shouldn't have stared at him. Though I actually hadn't expected him to react this way. I had thought there wouldn't be anything in this world that could bring Hyde into such a mood. Changing clothes seemed like nothing after I had seen him half-naked last Sunday.
I hesitated for a moment before I put my hands on his shoulders and start massaging him gently. He indeed was quite tense and actually he needed a pro. He even confirmed my suspicion by - still kinda shyly - saying: “You can actually grip a little tighter.”
“Okay.” I responded and used more strength, receiving a sigh. It also didn't take long until Hyde relaxed visibly which relieved me.
“Enjoying it?”
“Yes~” he whispered in return and at the same time showed me that he was content having me around.
“Good.”
I continued massaging him for a while, but then it got a little difficult, since Hyde began to lean in more and more.
“Haido?” I said.
“Hm?”
“What're you doing?”
“Nothing.” It was far from 'nothing'. He eventually leaned against me completely, grabbed my hands and made me wind my arms around him.
“Haido?”
“Please … just a little.” He just plead and I let him continue, not saying anything. I would have loved to see his face right now, his eyes, his whole mimic. Since I was right … whatever was wrong with him, it bothered him more than he admitted. And then a choked sob broke the silence.
“Haido … please tell me what's going on.” I pleaded.
“No.” he replied again.
“Why not?”
“Because I'm fine.”
“You're not and we both know it!” Saying this, I pushed him away and just turned him around to look into his face. And there they were: tears in his eyes and on his cheeks.
“I can't tell you,” he says, snuffling and shaking his head, “I just can't.”
“Why not?”
Hyde's lower lip trembled and he eventually bit it, apparently to stop the trembling.
“Why?” I asked again.
“Because …,” he started, “because …” Then he grew silent and just painfully looked at me, pressing his lips together. Suddenly the atmosphere was in some way electrified and my heart started pounding faster than normal. We didn't say anything and just stared at each other - for minutes. But then Hyde closed his eyes and leaned forward. My eyelids shut as well as I expected … a kiss … a kiss Hyde was about to give me.
His lips didn't touch mine softly, no … he kissed me hard and desperately. As if he was starving for it. At the same time he entwined his arms around my neck and almost clung to me. What had happened? What had he been put through that made him jump on me? Yeah, you could say that he did so, since he didn't just kiss me. Just a few moments later, he crawled onto my lap, his hands wandering up and down my body and finally sneaking under my shirt.
“Gacchan ...” he sighed almost longingly, broke our kiss, but started to caress my neck. I had no idea why I tilted my head and exposed my neck even more instead of stopping him. Actually we shouldn't do this, actually I should protect him from doing something he surely would regret. I could already see him hating himself for cheating on his beloved one because he was upset right now. But no, nothing, not even one bit of common sense. Just his lips on my neck and a way too comfortable prickling in my stomach.
“Haido,” I replied to his sighing, “I ...”
“You?”
I … jumped when the doorbell suddenly rang and Hyde almost fell off of the sofa.
“Sorry, I … the door …” I stammered and stood up immediately.
“It's … okay.” he said, weakly smiling, and backed off to the other end of the sofa.
“Erm … yes …” Then I literally fled to the hallway, ran my hand through my hair once and put on a fake smile, before I opened the door. For a reason I didn't know myself I didn't want to think about what had just happened.
But the smile fell off my face immediately when I saw who had come to visit me.
“Shikuza.” I whispered almost tonelessly and was completely confused.
“Hello, Camui,” she greeted, “can I come in?”
“Erm …” I was about to answer, but my mind was full of … nothing. I could just step back to let her in.
“Thanks.”
Even when I closed the door, I wasn't fully aware of what was happening right now. I turned and faced her, looking at her expectantly. I had expected me to be the happiest man on earth when Shizuka finally returned. But right now … I didn't feel that happy. I guess it was because of the fact that I had been with Hyde just moments ago and we had … damn! What was wrong with me? I just wanted Shizuka back!
“Camui, I thought things through,” she started to explain her sudden pop up, “we had a great time together and I'd be a pity to throw that away - even if you made mistakes. I mean, we love each other, don’t we?” Do we?
“Do you still love me after you ignored me for weeks?” I asked her directly.
“Of course, Camui,” she answered purring and came over to me to place a hand on my cheek, “You've always been good to me and-”
“Gacchan?” I suddenly heard Hyde's voice asking. I turned and looked at the entrance of my living room where he stood. And Shizuka did so as well.
“Who's this?” she wanted to know and eyed him.
“Oh, I'm sorry. I totally forgot-”
“I'm Hyde,” he introduced himself before I could do it, “and you are Shizuka, right? Gacchan has told me of you. Nice to meet you.” Shizuka must've been impressed by Hyde's charming behavior, but I saw that most of it was fake. Because he only knew the bad sides of our relationship and not much of the good ones, I guess.
“Nice to meet you, too. Are you a friend of Camui?” Shizuka replied kindly.
“You could say so. Well then, I need to go. I'll call you later, Gacchan. Bye!” What?! I first noticed that he had already brought his bag with him when he said good-bye and hugged me lightly.
“Goodbye.” Shizuka also said with a calm tone and took the words out of my mouth - words I actually didn't want to say.
“Haido!” I tried to hold him back, but it was too late.
“It's okay, Gacchan, I understand.” he said with a contrite tone in his voice and then he simply left. I just stared at the door that he closed after he had stepped out and had a weird feeling in my stomach.
“'Gacchan',” Shizuka chuckled, “what a cute name. But aren't you a bit too old for those kind of nicknames?” I looked at her again, my lips twitching.
“I don't think so,” I replied dryly, “he called me this the whole time!”
“Okay, okay, it's your business,” she immediately replied a little huffy, “I'm not here because of your friends anyway, but of you and me. So, let's just forget this rubbish and start anew.” While she talked about her plans, she wound her arms around my neck and tugged me down to kiss me. But after just one moment I almost ripped myself off of her, since first: I hadn't even had time to answer; and second … second … it felt so … weird - wrong even and it wasn't because she had just told me that she wanted me back. No, something was different.
“Shizuka, please don't,” I said, “you simply can't pretend as if nothing happened. And you also can't come over, still blaming me for everything, and think that I wouldn't complain. Not after you ignored me like this, though I begged you to talk to me.”
“But Gacchan-”
“Don't call me by that name!” I suddenly snapped at her without even wanting to and even scared myself. “I … I'm sorry … Haido gave me this name. It's ...” But now I had screwed up even more. Shizuka pursed her lips and shook her head.
“You've changed in the meantime … and not in a good way. I just hope you are not trying to tell me you don't want me anymore.” Then she looked at me sternly and waited for an answer.
“That's not easy,” I tried to explain, “I need time to think things through.”
It seemed as if this didn't please her much: “Okay … think things through, think as much as you want and tell me then. But don't believe I'll wait for you forever!” After she had thrown these words at me, she turned and left my apartment, shutting the door with a loud bang, before I could say even one word to calm her down a little.
She was gone. And Hyde as well. And I was an idiot for doing nothing but letting everything happen again. A complete idiot.
*
God, LJ gave me a headache again x_x It messed up all the paragraphs and I needed to edit them by using the html-editor, since using rich-text was completly useless. I hope everything is alright now. It still looks a little weird, but I guess that's because of the dialogues ^^'