(no subject)
Dear Joss Whedon,
Please stop doing this. (Spoilers for Buffy #14) Your blind spot regarding certain issues, you know them, we've had this talk, is really, REALLY SHOWING. Good god, man.
Also? Never, ever write X-Men again. Stay the hell away from the mutants from Westchester, because Astonishing was so painfully average I can't bring myself to write the review I hoped to do of your run. It was just that fucking boring. Your Emma was nigh unreadable. Your Kitty was nauseating. Your Colossus had no real reason for being. Boo. Just boo to your dreck-filled, stolen-from-Claremont, rehash of every X cliche in the X book. BOO.
However, I do stand by my comments regarding your being better for the X brand than Morrison. You brought in some new readers, and brought back some old ones.
Still. The sheer suckitude of your run has put a stop to my playing catch up with X-Men - I really don't think I can go on, Joss. I mean, if Brubaker is even half as narcoleptic as you, my job could be on the line. Would you like to know why, Joss? Because just thinking about your damn book PUT ME TO FUCKING SLEEP. While counting money. Do you have any idea how hard it is to fall asleep with hundreds of thousands of dollars in front of you? Just the memory of Astonishing was enough to conquer my unconquerable insomnia. Insomnia so bad that I have been know to stay awake for two days straight, AFTER popping sleeping pills like they're pez.
THAT'S HOW MUCH YOU SUCK.
Thanks for listening,
schmevil
***
So I need to stop reading Ms. Marvel posts on scans_daily before I've read the issue myself. The latest MM finally arrived in my mailbox yesterday, and I have to say that the post was far from representative, and not at all what I took from the issue. Less weepy, more ass-kicky - which is of course all to the good.
My biggest complaint about Brian Reed's run on MM is that Carol hasn't been kicking nearly enough ass. She may not be an A list superhero, but the villains for damn sure should know that when Ms. Marvel finds you? Your shit is going to get fucked the hell up. Carol isn't a Punisher or a Wolverine. She's not going to stab you, shoot you, or leave you for dead. Probably. As long as your don't annoy her. In fact, most of the time she'll send you along to the Raft with a couple of broken limbs, tops. But your base? Your awesomely villainous equipment? Gone. Kaput. Because Carol is a living, breathing weapon of mass destruction, and she really, really likes her job.
I want to see more fist-shaking!Carol and less moping!Carol.
[Use of above scan is not meant to imply that Carol should be fist-shaking at single mothers, superheroes or good guys the world over.]
I can see where Reed's coming from with his Carol - she's the bastard step-child of Claremont's and Busiek's Carol. She's got the same combination of high intensity, but usually repressed angst, and heroic (albeit punch-happy) spirit they both wrote her as having. What she lacks is the self confidence that allowed her to trust herself enough to take risks. Reed's Carol is terrified of failing, of backsliding, of not being better. I don't think there's anything wrong with doing this story (Best of the Best), with this character per se, but Reed's writing lacks the interiority necessary to make it work. He can write a good plot, he's great with continuity, but he's struggling with getting Carol on the page - giving her life, making her internal life known to us.
Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the book. It's superfun. It's just... I want more.
And my big, ever-present worry for the character is that she'll somehow get lost in the Secret Invasion shuffle - she's ostensibly the leader of the Mighty Avengers, but really, how different would the book be without her? Biggest change? Doom would have had to call Janet a fat piece of furniture, with a cow mouth, a whore's heart and bad breath. Trust me, he was getting there but Carol's moping put him off.
Or worse, considering Bendis' appalling record with the character (what the HELL man?), some fresh horror will be visited upon her. Marvel has been giving MM the hard sell, but part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop - what's it going to be this time boys? She's already been: depowered (twice), raped, forcibly impregnated and had her life stolen by Rogue. What new sexualized attack on the feminist superhero can we dream up? As much as I know my fears are (mostly) fueled by paranoia, the Tigra thing, the Doom thing, the Tigra thing again, make me nervous. Especially with guys like Bendis and Joss running the show. Mssrs. We Only Hurt the Ones We Love (Oh Yeah, And the Ones We Hate, Those Bitches We Hurt More).
[That's not to say that they haven't done stuff I love to death. Buffy. Angel. Alias. CW: the Confession. Some of Illuminati - mostly the parts when they weren't acting like fratboys.]
Please stop doing this. (Spoilers for Buffy #14) Your blind spot regarding certain issues, you know them, we've had this talk, is really, REALLY SHOWING. Good god, man.
Also? Never, ever write X-Men again. Stay the hell away from the mutants from Westchester, because Astonishing was so painfully average I can't bring myself to write the review I hoped to do of your run. It was just that fucking boring. Your Emma was nigh unreadable. Your Kitty was nauseating. Your Colossus had no real reason for being. Boo. Just boo to your dreck-filled, stolen-from-Claremont, rehash of every X cliche in the X book. BOO.
However, I do stand by my comments regarding your being better for the X brand than Morrison. You brought in some new readers, and brought back some old ones.
Still. The sheer suckitude of your run has put a stop to my playing catch up with X-Men - I really don't think I can go on, Joss. I mean, if Brubaker is even half as narcoleptic as you, my job could be on the line. Would you like to know why, Joss? Because just thinking about your damn book PUT ME TO FUCKING SLEEP. While counting money. Do you have any idea how hard it is to fall asleep with hundreds of thousands of dollars in front of you? Just the memory of Astonishing was enough to conquer my unconquerable insomnia. Insomnia so bad that I have been know to stay awake for two days straight, AFTER popping sleeping pills like they're pez.
THAT'S HOW MUCH YOU SUCK.
Thanks for listening,
schmevil
***
So I need to stop reading Ms. Marvel posts on scans_daily before I've read the issue myself. The latest MM finally arrived in my mailbox yesterday, and I have to say that the post was far from representative, and not at all what I took from the issue. Less weepy, more ass-kicky - which is of course all to the good.
My biggest complaint about Brian Reed's run on MM is that Carol hasn't been kicking nearly enough ass. She may not be an A list superhero, but the villains for damn sure should know that when Ms. Marvel finds you? Your shit is going to get fucked the hell up. Carol isn't a Punisher or a Wolverine. She's not going to stab you, shoot you, or leave you for dead. Probably. As long as your don't annoy her. In fact, most of the time she'll send you along to the Raft with a couple of broken limbs, tops. But your base? Your awesomely villainous equipment? Gone. Kaput. Because Carol is a living, breathing weapon of mass destruction, and she really, really likes her job.
I want to see more fist-shaking!Carol and less moping!Carol.
[Use of above scan is not meant to imply that Carol should be fist-shaking at single mothers, superheroes or good guys the world over.]
I can see where Reed's coming from with his Carol - she's the bastard step-child of Claremont's and Busiek's Carol. She's got the same combination of high intensity, but usually repressed angst, and heroic (albeit punch-happy) spirit they both wrote her as having. What she lacks is the self confidence that allowed her to trust herself enough to take risks. Reed's Carol is terrified of failing, of backsliding, of not being better. I don't think there's anything wrong with doing this story (Best of the Best), with this character per se, but Reed's writing lacks the interiority necessary to make it work. He can write a good plot, he's great with continuity, but he's struggling with getting Carol on the page - giving her life, making her internal life known to us.
Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the book. It's superfun. It's just... I want more.
And my big, ever-present worry for the character is that she'll somehow get lost in the Secret Invasion shuffle - she's ostensibly the leader of the Mighty Avengers, but really, how different would the book be without her? Biggest change? Doom would have had to call Janet a fat piece of furniture, with a cow mouth, a whore's heart and bad breath. Trust me, he was getting there but Carol's moping put him off.
Or worse, considering Bendis' appalling record with the character (what the HELL man?), some fresh horror will be visited upon her. Marvel has been giving MM the hard sell, but part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop - what's it going to be this time boys? She's already been: depowered (twice), raped, forcibly impregnated and had her life stolen by Rogue. What new sexualized attack on the feminist superhero can we dream up? As much as I know my fears are (mostly) fueled by paranoia, the Tigra thing, the Doom thing, the Tigra thing again, make me nervous. Especially with guys like Bendis and Joss running the show. Mssrs. We Only Hurt the Ones We Love (Oh Yeah, And the Ones We Hate, Those Bitches We Hurt More).
[That's not to say that they haven't done stuff I love to death. Buffy. Angel. Alias. CW: the Confession. Some of Illuminati - mostly the parts when they weren't acting like fratboys.]