This is rich

[sboman]

I can barely stop laughing to write this.

I bought three book shelves. I helped my husband carry them inside - they were very dense and heavy. They were not what I thought, so I ask him to load them in the car tonight to return them. Just then my daughter's hunky new boyfriend, that we're meeting for the first time, pulls up in his Camaro.

Comments

[cristiaentel]

I like the past tense much better. I think you can just say 'as she perched on the edge of her desk' - Other than that it is a good bit of writing.

-V

[meredith_wood]

LOL. Love that story!

I can't vote on your paragraphs though. In general, I prefer past tense for reading and writing. I read present tense, but normally it makes me sleepy. I have no idea of why. It just does.

[leahclifford]

Both of them run a little passive to me, but if I had to chose I'd go with past. Present is a tough sell for me, and unless it's critical to the story, past is much easier to accept as a reader (IMO)

[ext_88684]

I second this. It's that the paragraphs are passive that's the problem, not what tense you're writing in.

I vote for past. :)

[sboman]

Thanks all! I appreciate the feedback.

[ladyeye]

That is hilarious. When we have to move the hope chest to another room it takes Bri and I a lot of effort to do so. Well, when we moved in this house, the younger mover stud, picks up the entire hope chest like it was a box of shoes, and carries the thing up the stairs and into the room. Bri and I just looked at each other amazed. It's full and it's heavy.

[sboman]

Sad, isn't it? But funny...