fic: come in closer (i want you to) [10b/?]
“I wish you’d stop saying that.”
“I don’t want to screw up.”
“You’re not going to.”
“Yes, I am. I can just tell. I’ve got myself someone amazing and now I’m going to scare you away by wanting you so much.”
“Andrew, we’ve been dating for two weeks or whatever, but we’ve been friends for much longer than that. I’m not…scared of you. I just wanted to stop. I like being shirtless with you.”
(he does)
(it’s fine)
(just)
“Best friends.”
Jesse kisses Andrew’s neck.
“Yeah.”
“You gave me a hickey, didn’t you?”
“Hmmm?”
“My neck hurts.”
Jesse chuckles, his tension from earlier easing.
“Maybe.”
“People are going to see it.”
(yeah)
“Well, they’ll know that you belong to someone.”
“Our friends will ask me.”
“True.” Jesse’s voice is small.
He forgot about that.
“What do I tell them?”
Jesse closes his eyes.
“I don’t know. I don’t want - I’m not. Um. Tell them it was the vacuum cleaner?”
Andrew laughs and takes Jesse’s hand.
Jesse rolls back.
“When will we tell them, Jess? That we’re gay and we're in a relationship?”
Jesse frowns. “I don’t know if I’m gay.”
“Jess - ”
“I mean, I can’t make that assessment accurately because I’ve never felt anything like this before towards anyone, including other boys - I think - maybe I have - no. I don’t know.”
Andrew probably senses Jesse’s frustration.
“Maybe you’re ‘Andrew-sexual’, that would define you at the moment, don’t ya think?”
He laughs but Jesse only smiles.
(what am i doing)
“Not all Andrews, though, only Andrew Garfield. Only you.”
“Yeah, Jess, only me.”
(has?)
“Andrew? What about you? Have you liked boys, before?”
Andrew tightens his grip on Jesse’s hand, and rubs Jesse’s thumb with his own.
“Yeah.” He’s quiet.
Jesse opens his mouth, but Andrew continues talking.
“And girls.”
Jesse closes his mouth.
“But it’s kind of hard to explain. I don’t - I like…I think I like boys’ bodies. I don’t like girls’ bodies - I mean, I do, like, all bodies are great - but like, boys’ bodies, I’m…you know…”
“Attracted to.” Jesse supplies softly.
“Yeah. There was this one girl though, who I liked. I liked her a lot. She was so confident and knowledgeable. She’d wear tight clothes but I mean, I didn’t really care, I just thought she was brilliant, because she acted all smart and she’d always have some sort of comeback. She had a lot of friends. I guess she took pity on me one day, after I was laughed at by one of the assholes at my old school.”
“Was she your girlfriend?”
(mine)
“No, no. I already told you, you’re my first - anyway. No. We never officially dated but she, um. She said I was cute and thought what I liked to talk about was funny.”
“And?”
Andrew shifts uncomfortably. “We’d go to her house and though I just wanted to sit and listen to her talk, she wanted to make-out and stuff.”
Jesse is silent.
“I didn’t enjoy it though. At all. I felt so - I just - she was so much better than me. I guess I was kind of infatuated by her. I thought I liked her. But she’d take her top off and make me take mine off too and - I didn’t like that.”
(oh)
Andrew rolls on his side, wrapping an arm around Jesse’s torso. Jesse remains silent.
“But I let it happen because you just…do, you know? I figured if she was comfortable enough to take her top off, than I should be too, because I was the guy in the situation and guys are always comfortable with that kind of thing and always want it.”
Jesse thinks about Joe and Marissa.
“I wasn’t comfortable, Jess.” Andrew whispers into Jesse’s shoulder.
“What happened?”
“One night she invited me over because her parents weren’t home and she took her pants off too that time and fuck - I remember feeling so afraid. She wanted me to take my pants off as well, and - I did. She was saying it in that voice, the one that was like ‘listen to me, I know what I want and I know what you want’, but I didn’t want that.”
Andrew shudders.
“I remember her smiling mischievously at me, and then she took her bra off. Jesse, you have no idea how - you’ve never - it was not a good time for me, let’s just say that.”
Jesse laughs softly, and strokes at Andrew’s hand.
(so open)
Andrew’s next words are less than a whisper.
“She said she wanted to have sex with me.”
There’s a pause. Jesse listens to Andrew’s breathing, waiting for him to continue.
“And I said okay, can you believe that, Jess? I said okay! I didn’t even - she wasn’t even my - we got into bed and she started kissing me and her breasts were pushing against me and it was the most horrid experience I’ve ever had. All I wanted to do was put my clothes back on and go home.”
Jesse hums.
(mine)
“And I - eventually she stopped and pulled out a condom from god knows where, and told me to put it on and I sat up and I was terrified and I said I didn’t know how and then she laughed at me. She tried to take my briefs off but when she put her hands there - I - she - it - I don’t remember what exactly happened, but I must have resisted because she said - and I can remember this well - she said what is your problem, all boys want this and that’s when I jumped off the bed and said I didn’t like her anymore and she laughed at me again and everyone fucking laughs at me, Jess, and she said she didn’t like me either she was just horny.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah, and then she stood up and she fucking took her underwear off and I know you’ve never had a naked girl in front of you, Jesse, but it was - I can’t even describe it. I put my clothes back on and told her that I didn’t want this and then she said I was weird but she was ‘willing to forgive me’ because I was cute, if not a little dumb.”
What the fuck!?
“You’re the smartest, best, most perfect person I know Andrew.” Jesse blurts out.
(oh)
(well, yeah)
“Really?” Andrew’s voice sounds so small and Jesse curls over into him, so they’re wrapped in each other’s limbs, breathing in each other’s air.
“Yeah, and this girl sounds like an idiot.”
“I was sixteen.”
Jesse kisses him, slowly, gently.
“It’s okay. That’s over now.”
“I didn’t know what I wanted.”
“It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry.”
Jesse pulls away and tries to look at Andrew, but it’s dark, thus kind of hard.
“What are you saying sorry for?”
“For being stupid.”
“No, you tried something out, realized you hated it, that doesn’t make you stupid.”
“But I’m glad that I didn’t have sex with her.”
(yeah)
(‘cause now you can have it with me)
Jesse pauses.
(what)
(what?)
(no)
(not)
(two weeks!)
(what?!)
“It’s okay.” Jesse says again.
“We’re okay. I can do that kind of - thing. With you. It’s okay. We’re going fine, aren’t we, Jess?”
“Yes, we are. We’re going to go as slow and fast as we want.”
“It doesn’t matter that we don’t know what we’re doing.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
Jesse doesn’t really know if he believes that, but, right now, he’s consoling Andrew and this is what you do when you console someone. You reassure them.
Andrew sighs and clutches at Jesse harder.
(nobody else matters)
(you’re mine and i’ll always keep you safe)
“I’m glad you’re my boyfriend.” Andrew mumbles.
“I’m glad that you’re mine too.”
“We’ll tell people in our own time.”
“Yeah.”
Wait.
“Don’t your friends know about what happened?”
“No. They don’t know about it and they don't know that I - think I like boys.”
(oh)
“I trust you.” Andrew says quietly.
“I trust you too.”
(mine)
“You’re mine.” Jesse reminds him.
“Yeah.”
Okay, so Jesse has no idea what he’s doing. Being a boyfriend, being a friend to this - to Andrew. But whatever. For now - right now…this is okay.
“I’m going to ignore my erection.” Jesse says.
Andrew laughs.
Silence.
Then.
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…” Andrew mumbles.
(oh)
“…you make me happy…”
“…when skies are gray…” Andrew’s voice is less than a murmur.
He hums the rest of the verse, but as Jesse feels himself dozing off, he hears Andrew whisper, “…please don’t take my sunshine away…”
************
And so it becomes another one of their routines. Jesse goes to Andrew’s house after swimming, and he always sleeps over. No big deal. Jenny and Roger adore Jesse, and Jesse’s parents adore Andrew. Though Andrew sometimes goes to Jesse’s, he never sleeps over. Jesse’s room isn’t private enough.
A month passes. Patrick and Joe come out to their families and Joe is surprised at their reactions - for example, his older sister, Mary, returns home from college one weekend because she is just dying to meet Patrick and to be honest, the family can’t get enough of him.
Jesse tells Andrew about them, with permission, and Joe tells Patrick about Jesse and Andrew, with permission.
Eventually, one Friday night, the four hang out at Joe’s place. Patrick is quiet and shy, with, Joe was right, the bluest eyes Jesse has ever seen, tame blonde hair that Joe likes to run his hands through every ten seconds, and a soft, gentle voice. When they hung about in Joe’s room, it was honestly the most emancipating thing, to be able to lean against Andrew and simply hold his hand in the presence of others, even if it was just Patrick and Joe.
“They’re cute.” Andrew had whispered in Jesse’s ear, when Patrick had tried to bat Joe’s hands away from his hair but Joe had just ended up being pressed against him, rubbing at the back of his neck and playing with the hair at the nape of it.
Joe and Patrick’s family knew about their sexuality, and were completely okay with it, though Patrick still wanted to hold back from letting the rest of the world know. Joe respected that and Jesse was thankful that Andrew respected his choice of not letting anyone else know about him and Andrew - yet.
(soon)
(at some point)
(soon…)
************
Mid-February, a Saturday.
Jesse sits, fidgeting, on the bench next to Andrew.
“I’m going to take my swim briefs off now.”
“Okay.”
Andrew pauses.
“You’re not going to turn around?”
Jesse shrugs. “Should I?
(you can put your hands in if you like)
Andrew looks at him carefully, then says, “It’s just that whenever we’re on my bed, you make a point about us closing our eyes when we go to clean ourselves.”
(yeah)
(but)
“It’s been a month.” Jesse quietly responds.
“A month?”
“We’ve been dating for more than a month.” Jesse says, quieter still, gazing up into Andrew’s eyes, aware of the few families scattered around the change-room.
“Yes.”
“Maybe it’s time we…saw.”
Jesse has been thinking about this. Ever since JT told Jesse and Kristen that he and Emma had given each other ‘hand-jobs', Jesse had been thinking about it. He’s felt Andrew’s dick, numerous times, but it’s always a heat of the moment thing, when he’ll stick his hand down there. Andrew never has.
(shirtless though)
But maybe - maybe…maybe it’s time for them to take their relationship a bit further.
(not come out)
(not yet)
(but)
He wants to because -
(long fingers wrapped around)
(wrapped around jesse’s cock)
- he wants to be even closer to Andrew.
He talked to Joe about it, and Joe had cheekily admitted he and Patrick had waited less than a month into their relationship before they’d exchanged hand-jobs. So Jesse disregards any notions of ‘moving too fast’ and decides that he wants this. He tells Joe that if he doesn’t, there’s probably no chance of it ever happening because Andrew won’t bring it up seriously in fear of scaring Jesse.
Jesse holds Andrew’s surprised stare.
“You want to…see?”
“And maybe we can go home and then…touch.” Jesse says so quietly Andrew has to bend over a bit to hear.
Andrew’s eyes widen.
Jesse wonders if he’s going to object.
“That’s not moving too fast, is it?” He asks.
Andrew shakes his head and flushes slightly.
A child and his father walk past them. Jesse waits before muttering, “If you don’t want to, it’s fine, I just thought -”
(he’s comfortable)
(jesse can do it)
(but andrew - the girl - naked - )
“No, no, Jess, I’m - ready.”
(okay)
Andrew towels down his legs again, and Jesse suddenly wonders if it was wrong to do this in the change-room. There’s not really anyone here, true, and it’s not like Andrew’s doing anything out of the ordinary anyway, it’s just that usually Jesse makes a point about turning around.
Not this time though.
Andrew puts his hands on his briefs.
(breathe)
He slides his fingers underneath the waistband.
(okay)
He takes an audible breath, and catches Jesse’s gaze.
Jesse stares into Andrew’s eyes.
(okay)
(oh shit - okay)
(now)
(yes)
Andrew starts inching down his swim briefs. Jesse hardens his eyes. Out of his peripherals, he can see the briefs being pulled down, more, more skin being revealed, more of that golden skin that Jesse wants to -
Oh.
It’s.
Andrew steps out of his briefs and breaks Jesse’s gaze, but Jesse doesn’t have the courage to look down, so he’s left staring dumbly at the wall behind Andrew.
But out of his peripherals, he can see it.
His…penis.
Jesse’s eyes betray him. They dart around, to Andrew’s ear, then to the floor, then to Andrew’s thigh and then to his crotch and his fucking penis.
Andrew is quickly pulling on his underwear briefs but it’s there, Andrew’s penis, and it’s a penis - that’s all it is? - and he’s felt that before and it’s not excessively huge - but it’s got to be enormous when hard as well - and it’s Andrew’s penis and it’s just a penis - it’s his cock - and oh, now it’s gone.
Jesse puts a hand over his crotch.
“We all right?” Andrew laughs, but his face is red and he avoids Jesse’s gaping expression.
“I’ll meet you outside.”
Jesse grabs his overnight bag and leaves, shuffling away awkwardly.
************
Rob, Matt and Carey invite themselves over to Andrew’s, so the rest of the day is spent sitting with them in Andrew’s room, where Jesse felt highly uncomfortable.
The events of the morning kept replaying over and over in his head.
And.
He couldn’t stop looking at where the rest of them sat, on Andrew’s bed.
(breathless)
(shirtless)
(where he and andrew -)
“Jesse! What do you want to do?”
Jenny is clearing the dinner table and Andrew is standing next to him.
Jesse looks up.
“Huh?”
Roger laughs from the front room. “Hey boys, I set up the futon for you two already whilst you two were talking over dinner, so no need to worry about that!”
“Thanks!” Andrew calls back.
There is something subtle yet extremely obvious in Andrew’s eyes.
“Come on, I’ll put on some Doctor Who.” Andrew says.
Yes, there’s definitely a glint in his eyes.
Jenny comes back to the table from the kitchen and says, “I’m going to make sundaes later, but want you to eat them down here, okay?”
“Yeah, sure.” Andrew responds. He taps Jesse’s shoulder.
Jesse stands. “What are you thinking about?”
They begin walking to the stairs.
“Nothing.” Andrew remarks.
Ascending the stairs.
“Really? How boring.”
Andrew laughs, Jesse bites his lips.
Once they get to the top of the landing, Andrew takes Jesse’s hand. He says, “Ask me what I’m thinking about again.”
They walk to Andrew’s room. Jesse turns the ceiling light on.
“What are you thinking about?”
Andrew opens the door and Jesse enters, turning around to find Andrew closing the door, locking it, and then leaning against it.
Oh.
(yes)
“Can you guess what I’m thinking about?”
He sidles up to Jesse and casually pushes him to the bed.
Jesse sits
Andrew straddles.
“Um.”
Andrew starts kissing Jesse’s neck - gently, gently.
“I’ll give you a clue.”
Jesse leans back on his arms. They wobble.
“It starts with my and ends with boyfriend.”
Andrew puts both hands on Jesse’s shoulders and pushes him down.
(yes)
He begins moving on top of Jesse, as Jesse smiles against Andrew’s lips.
This he can do.
This he is familiar with.
This he wants very, very badly.
But also -
When Andrew stretches out on top of him, Jesse lets his hand go immediately to Andrew’s crotch, where he rubs the hardening bulge.
Andrew jerks, moaning.
(okay)
Jesse whispers, “Andrew.”
Andrew stops. “Yeah, Jess?”
“Can we…”
Andrew pulls back and looks down at Jesse.
Jesse bites his bottom lip.
Andrew scrambles up and Jesse moves himself so he’s sitting on Andrew’s bed.
(where matt and carey and rob were -)
Andrew sits opposite him, nervous.
Jesse can do this. He wants to do this. Yes, he can do this.
“How do we do this?” Jesse wonders out loud.
“Ah, well, first, let’s - Jess. Are you sure you want to? I know we moved kind of fast at first but -”
“Andrew, I want to see your penis, and touch your penis properly. And then I want you to do the same to me.” Jesse says. He smiles. “Only if you’re okay with it, though.” He adds, remembering Andrew and that…girl.
Andrew breathes out a shocked laugh and ducks his head, then looks up again.
“I’m okay. So you’re sure?”
“Sure.”
“Well, I guess - do you want to go first? Or should I?” Andrew sounds a little on edge.
“Andrew if you don’t want to -”
“No, no, I’m ready. I’m ready. Okay. I’ll go first. I guess I’ll just…”
Andrew straightens his legs and puts his hand on his jeans’ zipper but then -
“Should we get changed into our pyjamas? Should I just take my pants off? Jesse are you sure you want this because we can always wait for another month -”
“Andrew. I’m okay. We’re okay. I want this. Badly. I want this. I want you. And, um, maybe let’s both take our pants off.”
(yes)
So Andrew stands up, and Jesse holds onto that feeling of safety he has when they’re alone together.
Andrew struggles out of his jeans and Jesse laughs at him, but then Andrew is just standing in a shirt and his underwear briefs, where there is a very obvious bulge.
Okay.
Jesse stands, too, and - he can do this - holds onto his sweats - he does want this he knows - and Andrew breathes audibly - one month with a boyfriend - so Jesse closes his eyes - can’t tell anyone yet though, never, sometime, soon, I don’t - and yanks his pants down.
“Jess.”
Jesse opens his eyes. They stare at each other, in their shirts and underwear.
“We’re good.” Jesse replies. He sits himself back down onto Andrew’s bed, crossing his legs.
(yes)
“Okay.” Andrew breathes out. He resumes his former position. Jesse can’t stop looking at Andrew’s thighs.
(can i just)
Jesse shuffles up the bed and reaches a hand out to slide his palm over Andrew’s thighs.
(want)
(touch)
(since forever)
Andrew smiles shyly. “What are you doing?”
“I don’t know. I’ve just always - your thighs.”
Jesse runs his hand down Andrew’s left thigh, then his right.
(okay)
“Andrew, I’m going to move my hand up to touch your...”
Andrew whispers okay.
Jesse’s hand slowly moves to Andrew’s crotch, to his bulge.
Wow.
Andrew whimpers softly and Jesse -
Wow.
“Okay, wow, Andrew - okay. I’m going to. Can I.”
“Yeah, yeah, put your hand in.” Andrew’s voice is faint.
Jesse is feeling good. This is fine. This is - fine.
He rubs at the bulge a bit more, before dipping his hand into Andrew’s briefs and tugging out his -
Penis.
It’s a penis and it’s not his and Jesse is holding it.
Andrew lifts his hips up slightly and pulls the briefs down so they’re stretched across his thighs.
It’s a half-hard penis.
“O-Okay?” Andrew mumbles.
(really?)
“I’ve done this before with you, just, I’ve never seen it. Are you okay? I’m the one holding your penis.”
Jesse feels strangely calm.
Andrew gulps and thrusts his hips up shakily.
Jesse suppresses the urge to giggle.
He begins fisting it, tentatively, and soon Andrew’s penis is a leaking erection and Andrew has closed his eyes and is leaning back on his arms, moaning.
“Fuck.”
Jesse is so turned on.
Jesse uses the pre-come to lubricate Andrew’s dick. He grasps tighter and tries to jerk Andrew off the way he jerks himself off - rotating his hand, swiping at the tip with his thumb, gripping harder when he gets to the base.
Andrew’s mouth is open and he is panting, thrusting up as Jesse fists down. His head is thrown back and Jesse is so fucking aroused it blots out every other thought.
andrew
want
pumping
Jesse’s other hand snakes down to his own erection unconsciously. He rubs at his growing bulge and continues fisting Andrew’s dick, his eyes jumping back and forth between Andrew’s dick and Andrew’s face.
“Jess - oh. Fuck. I can’t -”
Andrew’s hips start rocking up violently into Jesse’s hand and somewhere in the back of Jesse’s mind, he wonders what it’d feel like to have Andrew rock like that into him.
(fuck)
(so much)
(desire)
(yes)
Jesse says nothing, but tightens his grip further, moving his hand away from his own erection so he can lean forward to lick up Andrew’s thighs because fuck, those thighs.
Andrew moans and a sudden, vivid image passes through Jesse’s mind of him licking up Andrew’s erection but before he can react to that, Andrew pushes Jesse’s head away and he chokes, “I’m going to come.”
Jesse scrambles backwards and Andrew’s hand flies to his dick, where he fists it quickly and messily, and then there’s all this come leaking out and it spurts onto Andrew’s shirt and Andrew’s whimper turns into a groan and fuck!
Fuck.
Andrew’s chest is heaving. He opens his eyes and they seem to take a while to focus on Jesse.
But when they do.
He flings forward despite himself, and knocks Jesse onto his back.
“That was amazing.” Andrew breathes into Jesse’s mouth.
(yes)
Jesse kisses Andrew harshly, pushing his hips up into Andrew’s naked penis and perhaps that’s when Andrew realizes. He rolls off Jesse and Jesse says, “What?”
“Sit up.”
Jesse sits up.
He looks down at himself.
There are splatters of come from where Andrew pushed against him, and Andrew himself is a mess.
“Ah.”
“Yeah.”
Jesse stares at Andrew’s dick.
“I’m hard.” Jesse simply says.
Andrew gets off the bed to get the tissues from his desk. He turns around and Jesse’s stomach drops.
Andrew’s.
Ass.
“Fuck.” Jesse can’t help it.
Andrew whips around. “What? Are we okay? Jess I’m -”
“Your ass.”
Andrew makes a strange sound but then narrows his eyes with a smirk. He cleans himself as best as he can but -
“Can I take my briefs off?” He asks.
Jesse nods shyly.
(fuck)
Andrew returns to the bed, completely naked save for his shirt, which has obvious come-stains on it.
Jesse realizes now’s the time Andrew is going to touch his dick.
(yes)
(okay)
(okay)
Andrew sits next to Jesse.
“You tell me what you’re feeling, I tell you what I’m feeling, right?” Andrew asks.
Jesse nods again.
(fuck)
“Okay, I’m still feeling extremely horny and I want to touch your erection really badly.”
“Okay.” Jesse can’t think. “I. Yes. Want - okay.”
Andrew puts his hand on Jesse’s bulge and rubs gently. Jesse squeaks.
“Is this okay?” Andrew asks quickly.
“Y-Yes.”
Jesse stares down at where Andrew’s hand is palming him. The front part of his underwear is wet and he already feels a little sticky.
“So have you never - is this - you’re touching my - okay.”
Andrew chuckles and leans over to kiss Jesse.
“Are you still okay? I’m not wearing anything but a shirt.”
Jesse is very aware of that.
“Yes.”
Andrew drags his lips down to Jesse’s chin, twisting his head to mouth at Jesse’s neck.
“Don’t - don’t give me a hickey.”
“You gave me one.”
“Okay.”
He hears Andrew chuckle and then he pulls away.
“Are you going to…take your underwear off…or…?”
(oh)
Jesse stands up and swallows loudly.
“I don’t have - my - it’s not - I don’t look as good as you.”
“Nonsense.”
“No, I’m serious, Andrew.”
Andrew swims and sometimes even goes to the gym. He’s not even comparable to -
“Jess, I can see practically everything right now anyway. And I think you’re - amazing.”
“I might be ‘amazing’ Andrew, but that doesn’t mean my - ”
“I think you’re gorgeous and, and sexy.”
Jesse frowns. He looks down at himself, then back at Andrew.
“Sexy.”
“Yes.”
Well, that’s not exactly the word he’d use to describe Jesse, but his dick is throbbing and Andrew is half naked now and it’s Andrew.
Jesse reminds himself that - it’s Andrew.
And Andrew is with him. Not some stupid girl who doesn’t understand his worth or whatever - Andrew is doing this with Jesse, who hasn’t had a panic attack in weeks because he has Andrew in his life.
Andrew.
Garfield.
“Okay.”
In one brisk movement, Jesse pulls his underwear down.
He clambers back onto the bed, breathing slowly. He is half naked now, with Andrew. Isn’t that something?
(isn’t that something)
(sweet, little jesse -)
“I’m going to touch you now.” Andrew says.
Jesse nods.
Andrew reaches out and wraps his fingers around Jesse’s dick and Jesse realizes this is one fantasy completed.
(long fingers wrapped around)
His erection twitches.
Andrew murmurs, “Woah.”
Jesse laughs nervously.
“We’re good.” He says, just in case Andrew was wondering.
“Yep.”
Andrew begins moving his hand, squeezing. Pre-come dribbles down the sides and Jesse suddenly has a thought.
“It’s not...ugly, is it?”
“What?”
“You know - I mean - it’s just a dick. Right. But it’s not - ”
“Jesse, every inch of you is perfect, so shut up and enjoy this.”
(‘perfect’)
(he’ll take it)
Andrew’s tongue peeks out as he furrows his brow in concentration, fisting Jesse’s dick, and within each second he continues, Jesse relaxes further.
And begins enjoying himself.
“Fuck.” He mutters.
He thrusts up shakily, trying to find the leverage to do so. Jesse stares at Andrew’s dick, which isn’t even limp, but half-hard. His hand is still sticky and then Jesse wonders if he should take his shirt off.
But then they’d be completely naked.
(not yet)
“Is this - are you - do you feel good?” Andrew asks. He glances up at Jesse’s face.
In response, Jesse tilts his head back and moans, and Andrew quickens his rhythm.
He feels extremely bare right now, but everything’s fine.
(sweet, little jesse eisenberg)
(all innocent)
(but not really)
Andrew moves closer and fists harder. Under his breath, he mutters come on, come on, come on.
Jesse looks back at Andrew and, despite himself, says, “What are you saying?”
“I want you to come.”
“I’m going to, eventually.”
Then something passes over Andrew’s face and he says, “What if I do this?”
Andrew suddenly bends down and licks up Jesse’s dick and Jesse promptly comes all over Andrew’s face.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!
He snaps his head back and stares at his come dripping off Andrew’s cheeks and forehead.
“Oh my god.” He says.
Andrew blinks a few times.
“Oh my god.” Jesse repeats.
“I’m fine.” Andrew leans back, letting go of Jesse’s quickly softening penis.
Jesse stares at Andrew.
“Oh my god.”
“Jesse, stop that. I’m fine. I need a tissue.”
Jesse jumps up and reaches for the tissues, but his hands are shaking and he ends up just grabbing the entire box and throwing it onto the bed. He stands next to the desk, as he gapes at Andrew, who’s wiping at his face.
Andrew just licked his penis.
He licked it!
Jesse gapes some more and Andrew smiles at him.
“You licked my penis.” Jesse points at Andrew in an accusatory manner.
Andrew’s face falls and he looks down.
“I know, I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I’m sorry. I took it too far, Jess, please, what - what are you doing? What are you - ”
Jesse pushes Andrew down onto his back, bracketing him with his arms. The tissues are scattered around them.
“You licked my penis!”
Andrew tries to respond, but Jesse kisses him hungrily, messily. Andrew is shocked at first, but then his hands move to rest over Jesse’s ass cheeks and he squeezes lightly. Jesse’s body jolts and fuck - that’s his naked ass.
He breaks the kiss and stares down at Andrew.
“All right?” Andrew asks timidly.
“You should - squeeze it again.”
So Andrew does and Jesse -
“I really love this position.” Jesse states.
“Wow, that sounds so dirty.”
“Shut up.”
Jesse smiles against Andrew’s lips.
(i feel so)
(good)
(confident)
This is amazing.
And then.
There’s a knock on the door.
The boys both freeze and Jesse’s heart is hammering in his chest, but, it’s okay, the door’s locked, it’s fine -
“Boys, I don’t want to know what you’re doing in there, but please clean up and come down. Sundaes are ready.” Roger says casually.
Jesse and Andrew gawk at each other.
What?
************
Jesse goes home that weekend feeling lightheaded.
The dessert was awkward, but they both did their best to ignore any looks from Roger. Andrew reassured him later that he’d talk to his uncle, and was going to say more, but Jesse had pounced on him.
They didn’t sleep that night.
Or the next Saturday night Jesse had slept over.
Jesse smiles to himself happily, finishing off the last of his History assignments.
Having a boyfriend is great.
(even if no one else knows about him yet)
His phone starts ringing. It’s Kerri.
Jesse picks up.
“Hey, Kerri.”
“Jesse Adam Eisenberg, you were supposed to call me like, two months ago.”
He checks the date - oh. It’s nearly the end of February.
“Oops.”
“Yes, oops.”
“Well, I’m here now. Hello.”
“Jesse, we need to talk.”
“About what?”
Jesse idly wonders what Andrew’s doing. Probably watching television, or something. Maybe doing homework? Oh wait, no, that’s right, Matt and Rob were going to come over this afternoon after school. Hope they’re not sleeping over, Jesse really wants to call -
“About the fact that Joe’s gay and I think you are too.”
- Andrew.
Right.
part xi