fic: come in closer (i want you to) [10a/?]
Chapter:x: sweet disposition - the temper trap/oh, reckless abandon, like no one's watching you
Word count:10,000
Author's notes: Okay, people, I need you to know now that this story is probably going to be around 20 chapters long, maybe a little less, maybe a little more, okay? I'm anticipating it to reach 100,000+ words, okay? That cool? Also, LJ's new font looks icky.
Soundtrack: sweet disposition - the temper trap
At AO3
Jesse’s pocket vibrates. He jolts, and looks around, but no one seems to notice. Elizabeth sits next to him, ignoring him politely, the teacher’s back is to the class and everyone else is tired, looking forward to the end of the school day. A week in after winter break and it’s already like they’d never left.
(except)
(boyfriend)
He stealthily dips a hand into his pocket and holds his phone on his lap, reading the text.
From Joe:
hey i need to c u after school? can walk home 2gether?
Oh, okay. Well - usually he walks home with - no. It’s okay. Kristen’s going to Rob’s after school and - Andrew? Andrew waits for him now. Andrew, who, if they’re alone, steals kisses from Jesse when there’s no one in the street, and tries to hold his hand despite Jesse being paranoid someone will see in the broad daylight.
(look forward to being alone with andrew)
Joe seems pretty desperate, so he’ll just have to tell Andrew they can’t walk home together, or something. Though he’s not sure how that’ll work, considering they walk in the same direction.
Joe:
um, can we hang about at school for a bit before we walk home?
Jesse looks back up. Nothing’s changed. Joe eventually responds ok and Jesse puts his phone back into his pocket. He stares at the whiteboard. Calculus. Okay, uh, differentiation, yep, got it - andrew - product rule? Sure, let’s just write that - kisses - down and - hair - chain rule? Isn’t that kind of like - cuddles - the product - the way he listens - rule? No?
Elizabeth raises her hand and clears her throat. The teacher turns around to address her. Jesse’s eyes close, but he quickly opens them again.
(you can put your hand in)
Elizabeth is talking.
(if you want)
Now that she’s dating his friend, they sit together in math class, but it’s not like they talk that much, or anything.
(boyfriend)
What is Elizabeth even saying?
(not ready to tell)
Quotient rule?
(hide)
Ahh, what.
(but his smile)
The teacher says something and Elizabeth seems satisfied with the answer. The teacher turns around again and Elizabeth is scribbling into her notebook. Jesse’s exhausted. He looks down at his work, fighting to keep his eyes open.
(so beautiful)
Stayed up too late last night talking to Andrew on the phone.
(wish i was with you)
Oh. Okay, quotient rule, better write that -
His phone vibrates again. What? What does Joe want now…?
From Andrew:
Look up.
What? Andrew?
Jesse looks up. What is he - oh.
Andrew’s face is peering through the small window in the classroom door. When he sees Jesse’s spotted him, he waggles his eyebrows and bobs up and down, smiling like his life depends on it.
(what)
Jesse’s lips twitch.
(andrew!)
When Jesse fails to respond adequately, Andrew frowns and puts his hand to the window, which blocks out most of his face, but Jesse can see that he says something, though there’s no way he can actually understand what Andrew’s saying -
“Is that Andrew?” Elizabeth whispers.
“Uh, yeah.”
Elizabeth smiles at Andrew, and he smiles back from behind his hand. She turns back to her work. Andrew looks down, with his hand remaining on the glass.
What is Andrew even -
Jesse’s phone vibrates and he glances around shiftily before checking the message.
From Andrew:
Show me your palm!
What? Jesse frowns. Show…Okay? Jesse raises his hand slightly and Andrew clearly delights in this, nodding his head, smiling so his eyes crinkle and his cheeks lift slightly and his whole expression just softens.
“Okay, class, for homework I want you to…”
The teacher swings around and Andrew ducks. Jesse’s hand drops back to his lap and he shoves his phone into his pocket.
After scribbling down his homework and staring blankly at the teacher, the day is finally over and thank fuck it’s Friday.
He stands up, gathering his belongings, and waits to leave the classroom. Elizabeth smiles goodbye and Jesse has to wait, because everyone is shoving and pushing. Jesse stands at his desk impatiently, and when the last person has filed out including the teacher, he walks through the door -
“Hi Jesse!”
Jesse jumps. “Fuck, Andrew, don’t do that.”
Andrew slings an arm around Jesse’s shoulders as they walk to Jesse’s locker. He navigates Jesse through the noisy crowd of people and Jesse lets himself be led.
“We’re hanging out tomorrow after swimming, right?” Andrew asks and Jesse replies, “I’ll come over before dinner. Sophia and Carina aren’t coming tomorrow, and I have to take Hallie Kate home. And then do some homework.”
“Okay.”
Joe is waiting at Jesse’s locker and, oh, right.
“Hey, Joe! What’s up?” Andrew grins, and Jesse is trying to open his locker, but Andrew’s arm remains stubbornly around his shoulders, so his movements have to be small and awkward.
Joe grins back, but casts a quick glance at Jesse. Right.
“Uh, Andrew, I can’t walk home with you today.”
“What? Why?”
Joe looks slightly embarrassed and Jesse says, “I’m walking home with Joe.”
Andrew’s arm slides off Jesse’s shoulders and he takes a step back, straightening.
“Okay.”
“But I’ll call you tonight, okay? Andrew? And see you tomorrow?” Jesse hurriedly adds.
Andrew offers a slight smile, but that’s all. “Yep. See you guys.” He nods and then walks away. Jesse watches him disappear into the sea of teenagers, until Joe taps him on the arm.
“Sorry for cock-blocking you guys.”
Jesse turns back to Joe, after grabbing his bag and shutting his locker. They begin pushing through the crowd.
“You didn’t. Don’t worry about it. I don’t know why - Andrew. He’s. Well.”
“Clingy?” Joe tries.
(but)
“Yeah, just a little bit.”
Joe chuckles and they exit the school building.
(but)
“It’s not bad or anything, though, you know? I don’t care, I don’t mind, I like it, I don’t think it’s that annoying, I understand why, if I could spend all my time with him I would -”
“Hey, hey, man, it’s okay. I understand. I get like that with Patrick, sometimes.”
As they walk home, Jesse wonders if Andrew will dawdle just so they’ll catch up with him. They cross the road.
“What did you want to talk about, Joe?”
Joe blinks, strolling with his hands in his pockets. He smiles, looks up at the sun, squints, furrows his brow as if in thought, yawns and closes his eyes tightly for a few seconds. Jesse keeps his focus ahead, though he glances over at Joe a few times, waiting. It’s cold, but the sun’s out, and it reflects off his hair. A nice orange-brown colour that Jesse thinks is rather pleasing.
(andrew)
(golden)
(sunlight)
“I asked Patrick out.”
(yeah)
(boyfriend)
Their shoes scuff against the sidewalk.
“He said yes.”
(yeah)
“I want to tell people.”
Jesse lifts his head.
“But he doesn’t.”
(what)
(yeah)
“He says we can maybe tell our close friends and stuff, and even our family, but not…he doesn’t want to be open about it. You know? When I ask him why he just goes quiet and then there’s nothing I can do but hug him.”
“Yeah.”
“But I want to be open! You know, eventually, because sometimes I want to announce it to the whole world that, I, Joe Mazzello, have a boyfriend and he likes me and wants to kiss me and I am gay -”
Joe kicks at the pavement and stops walking. Jesse keeps walking, but then notices he’s stopped, and has to backtrack.
“What?” He asks.
Joe sighs heavily. “I’m gay, right?”
(you are)
(but)
(i don’t know)
“Yeah?”
Joe nods with conviction. “I am gay. I think Patrick is beautiful. And not just him, and I’ve always preferred gay porn to straight porn and I have fantasies about Patrick’s dick and guys are hot and hey, Jesse, Andrew is pretty damn fine too, you know, you’re lucky he likes you.”
(yes)
“What? I know - no - Shut up, Joe. Stop thinking about my boyfriend and let’s get back to your -”
“Jesse!?” Joe gapes at him.
What? What’s the problem? Did he - Joe - wait -
“Jesse, your boyfriend!?”
Oh right, well yes, but Joe -
“Jesse you didn’t tell me that Andrew was now your -”
“Be quiet!” Jesse hisses.
A bunch of juniors move past rowdily and Jesse waits until they’re well away before turning to Joe and muttering, “Yes, Andrew is now my boyfriend.”
(mine)
Joe laughs in surprise, exclaiming, “Well, isn’t that something!”
Jesse frowns and starts walking. He wants to get home, do homework, eat dinner, get into bed, and call Andrew. Then see him tomorrow. And kiss him.
“What’s ‘something’?” He mumbles.
Joe rubs his hands together. “Nothing. Just - Jesse. Jesse! Little Jesse Eisenberg. Sweet little Jesse Eisenberg who’s - our friends - Jesse. No one has any idea. They all think you’re some innocent…child. Heck, you know what? Armie even told me he thinks you’re asexual - you know why? You’ve never - oh man, I mean, I was excited when you said you liked Andrew and you said you wanted to date him but I just realized - now - he’s your - dude, we can come out together.”
(what!?)
(andrew)
(but)
“…tell people and it’ll make Patrick feel better -”
“No! Joe! What are you - I can’t. I’m not gay! People will call me gay, I’m not ready.”
Joe’s chattering immediately ceases.
“There’s nothing wrong with being gay.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that, Joe, I would never -”
“Okay, that’s okay, but you’ve got a boyfriend.”
“He’s only my boyfriend because I don’t want anyone else kissing him.”
(or touching)
(or being)
(mine)
“But if you don’t tell anyone, people won’t know and they’ll try to kiss him anyway.”
(no)
(andrew wouldn’t)
They stop walking, because it’s time for Joe to turn off to his street.
He doesn’t like Joe’s expression. It makes him feel like a bad friend - he wasn’t even able to help Joe with his problem.
It’s not like you want to tell anyone you’ve got a boyfriend yet either though.
But I’m not homophobic.
I’m not.
(just)
(scared)
Jesse stares glumly at Joe. Joe stares glumly back at him. Then he shakes his head and smiles.
“I’m sorry, Jesse. I understand. These things - this - fuck. You know? If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. Of course. I’m not going to pressure you into coming out or anything. That’d be - oh shit…”
Joe’s head drops slightly, as does his jaw, and his eyes glaze over.
“Joe? Are you okay?”
“Patrick.” He mutters under his breath.
“Yes, your -”
“No, Patrick! I’ve been pressuring him into - oh shit! He must hate me! Fuck! Hey, Jesse, great to talk to you, I’ll catch you later!”
And with that, Joe runs off down his street. Jesse is so shocked he just stands there, even as he watches Joe nearly trip over himself when stumbling up the porch stairs and practically falling into his house when he gets the door open.
Huh.
Well.
Jesse.
So.
Okay?
Maybe he did help out after all.
************
“Hey, Jess.”
“Hi.”
Jesse settles further into the mattress and smiles to himself. Tomorrow he gets to be with Andrew.
Andrew doesn’t say anything further, so Jesse whispers, “I miss you.”
There’s no response though.
What?
“Andrew? Is something wrong?”
“No.”
“There clearly is.”
“I’m okay.”
But he clearly isn’t.
“Are you sure?”
Andrew sighs, and Jesse is nervous.
What has he done?
What’s gone wrong?
He fucked up, he fucked up, he’s fucked up - again - and shit this boyfriend business is not a walk in the park that’s for sure. It’s been nearly two weeks, or something, two weeks of being Andrew’s boyfriend and two weeks of stolen kisses and two weeks of going to Andrew’s and locking themselves in his room whilst they rub against each other feverishly. Andrew takes his top off sometimes - okay all of the time - and Jesse will usually work his hand down to their erections, where he’ll pull both their pants off. Andrew avoids giving Jesse a hickey on his neck and Jesse runs his hands all over Andrew’s naked back and chest, though he doesn’t kiss any of the skin, yet.
Andrew likes a cuddle afterwards, despite the mess under the covers, and Jesse doesn’t mind it. He’s safe, comfortable, with Andrew, when they’re alone. There is nothing, nothing else.
Except when he leaves, his life comes rushing back, to remind him that that’s not the case.
“Do you not want to be my boyfriend anymore?” Jesse asks quietly.
Jesse hears a sharp intake of breath and then Andrew’s sudden response. “No, no, no, no, Jess, no, I’m - of course I do, you’re my - I’m just - I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, I’m sorry, clearly I’ve done something to upset you -”
“No, no, it’s just me being stupid -”
“Will you tell me what it is, then? Because you are not stupid and I still really like you and I’m sorry I -”
“I was upset we didn’t get to walk home today.”
“What?”
“I was upset because I knew Kristen was going to Rob’s and I was looking forward to being alone with you because today we couldn’t hang out at lunch because I had to be with Carey and I like Joe but I was looking forward to walking home with you and I got kind of jealous and I’m sorry for being clingy because I clearly am.”
Oh.
“How many times do I have to tell - oh Andrew. We’ll see each other tomorrow.”
“Yeah, tomorrow. And you’re sleeping over?”
“Sure.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m getting sick of telling you to stop saying -”
“I’m sorry.”
“Andrew! Honestly! It’s okay. We’re okay. We’re okay, yeah?”
“Yeah. Jess - the last two weeks have been the absolute best.”
“I know.”
“I’m so happy I met you.”
Jesse smiles sleepily. “Me too.”
“Tell me about your day?”
“Well, morning class was adequate, though I think Mr Krotz doesn’t really understand why…”
He launches into a recount of his day at school, but after an hour they’re talking about sex.
“Now I’m horny.” Andrew says.
“You’re always horny.” Jesse replies.
“It’s not my fault you have such a seductive voice.”
“What, Andrew, are you crazy?”
“What? I’m serious. I swear, everything about you is enticing.”
“Enticing? Really?”
“Yeah - your lips and voice and hair and eyes and body -”
“What? My body?”
Andrew sighs patiently. “Ask me why I like you.”
(humour him)
“Why do you like me, Andrew?”
“Because you’re my best friend, you’re funny, you are attractive, you listen to me, you care about me, I can’t stop thinking about you, when I’m with you I feel like I can do anything, I want to hold you and never let go, you make me feel special, I think you’re a beautiful person, you’re intelligent, kind, respectful and I think you’re -”
“Okay, that’s enough, I think I’m going to throw up.”
“What, why? Are you okay? Are you sick?” Andrew sounds anxious.
“No, no, just - too many compliments.”
Andrew laughs. “But they’re all true, Jess. I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“I know, I know. I don’t necessarily agree with you, but I guess no one ever does when it comes to these things. You’re a romantic. It’s cool. I like it. Thank-you? I like you. I’ve never liked anyone else before. Did you know that?”
“Yeah, you’ve told me.”
Andrew is quiet for a moment. “So then, how did you know you liked me, if you’ve never liked anyone before?”
Jesse hears his parents’ footsteps and he starts speaking more quietly. “Ah, well, because….”
“Jess?”
“I have to be quiet. Hallie Kate will wake up if I’m too loud. But I was going to say that I knew I liked you when - well - I. Um. I’ve told you before, I think. I realized I was getting a lot of erections and I was thinking about you when I was jerking off - and I never used to jerk off that much. But I think I always found you attractive, like, since the first day I laid eyes on you. And then we somehow became friends and I realized you were perf- really nice.”
Andrew coos at him. “Now who’s being romantic?”
“Fuck off.”
“Shan’t.”
“Good.”
There’s a beat of silence and then Andrew mumbles, “Tomorrow, can I kiss you?”
“Um, I’m pretty sure we’re at a stage where you don’t have to ask that.”
“I mean - can I kiss you on your…body.”
(what)
(where?)
(on jesse’s….?)
“Not your dick or anything, no - not yet anyway - I mean, uh, like, on your stomach, and stuff.”
(kiss his)
(golden skin)
Jesse ignores the passing mention of a blowjob, because even though Andrew insists there’s no certain ‘way’ to be a boyfriend, a blowjob after two weeks of dating, Jesse thinks, is not how he wants to be a boyfriend.
Not that you know how you want to be a boyfriend anyway.
(shut up)
“So, you want me to take my top off.”
“Well, I always do.”
“Because you want to and you have a nice chest.”
Andrew chuckles. “Thanks, Jess. You do too, though. But like, if you don’t want to…”
(want to)
(kiss)
(golden)
“We’ll see how I am tomorrow, okay?” Jesse finally replies. “And I don’t have a nice chest in comparison to you.”
Andrew hums. “Well, we’re not comparing you to me, are we? So it doesn’t matter. And anyway, you do.”
Jesse closes his eyes and Andrew’s next words are under his breath.
“Tomorrow if you let me, I’ll show you just how much I think that’s true…”
(okay)
Jesse remains silent. He is sleepy. Their breathing is gentle.
Andrew begins singing softly.
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…”
Eh?
“…you make me happy, when skies are gray…”
“Are you singing to me?”
“…No.”
Jesse scoffs cheekily. “You are, aren’t you.”
“Maybe.”
“You’re such a romantic.”
“You love it.”
Andrew continues singing, more boldly this time. Jesse smiles to himself lazily.
“Yeah, I do.”
************
“A sleepover again?
“Yes, Mom.”
Jesse is one foot out the door. It’s getting dark and he wants to be with Andrew already.
“Are Jenny and Roger okay with that? You’ve been going there an awful lot recently.”
“They say they like me.” Jesse shrugs.
His mom laughs and she ruffles his hair, though he tries to duck away.
“Of course they like you, you’re my little boy.”
Jesse frowns at her. Andrew thinks he’s little, too. And Joe. But he’s not.
“Okay! So you’re not that small anymore, but you’ll always be my baby boy. You remember - you remember that I love you, right? Both of us - your dad, too.”
“Yes, Mom.”
“And - you can tell me…anything, dear. Anything.”
“Yes, Mom.”
She gives him a look.
“Yes, Mom. I love you too. Um, I appreciate the sentiment but right now -”
“I know, I know. Andrew. Andrew’s waiting.” She smiles quietly.
“Yep.”
He waves curtly and has just reached the sidewalk, but his mom calls out again.
“Oh, and call Kerri sometime? She says she needs to talk to you.”
Jesse starts walking and he yells, “Okay.”
But he knows he won’t.
************
They drag the futon to Andrew’s room, with Roger trailing behind.
He smiles at them whilst they set it up.
“You’ve become a regular in this household, Jesse. I like it.”
“Ah, thanks.”
Andrew smirks to himself as he lays the spare comforter out.
“I think it’s going to become a routine, Uncle. Every single Saturday, if we can help it, Jesse’s sleeping over here. Okay?”
Roger throws his head back and laughs and Jesse is reminded of when Andrew does that, too.
“Yeah! Why not! I’ll tell your Aunty Jenny. Well, boys, I’ll leave you to it. I suppose you won’t be coming downstairs again tonight?”
Jesse shrugs but Andrew says, “No.”
“Goodnight to you two, then.”
He leaves and Andrew lets out a long sigh of relief.
“I thought he’d never leave.”
Andrew jumps onto his bed and Jesse lies down next to him.
(home)
“This is my favourite place, you know.” Jesse admits.
“Is it?”
Andrew shuffles so he’s sitting cross-legged, with Jesse’s head in his lap.
Jesse closes his eyes and hums happily.
He feels hot breath on his face, and then Andrew’s kissing him, upside-down.
It’s weird.
But.
Jesse raises an arm. He finds Andrew’s head and threads his fingers through Andrew’s hair, gently massaging Andrew’s scalp.
Andrew slides his hand down to rest over Jesse’s other hand, on his stomach.
The kiss becomes a little heated.
Jesse throws his head back and Andrew starts kissing down his neck. Jesse’s face is being pressed into Andrew’s stomach, but that is unimportant, as Andrew is currently mouthing at Jesse’s neck and under his chin and then he moves his mouth down to suck at where Jesse’s collarbone is bared.
Fuck.
(maybe..)
Andrew’s fingers are rubbing Jesse’s hand gently, and Jesse feels that familiar wave of desire, so he takes Andrew’s hand and slowly moves it to underneath his shirt.
“Jess.” Andrew whispers into Jesse’s skin.
He moves his hand up, letting the shirt pull up with it. Jesse trembles slightly, because they’re doing this in the light, not beneath the covers, and Jesse realizes the door is unlocked but he’s too occupied to care.
“Jess, I’m going to take your shirt off now.”
Jesse tries to nod, but his head is still squished.
Andrew uncurls as he pulls at Jesse’s shirt. Jesse’s arms lift as Andrew leans back to get it completely off and okay, now he’s throwing it to the floor and Jesse is shirtless and lying on Andrew’s bed with Andrew above him, scrutinizing every inch of his scrawny chest -
“I really like your body.” Andrew says quietly.
Jesse opens his eyes, looking directly up at the bottom of Andrew’s chin.
“I can see up your nose.” Jesse says, because he regularly likes to point out stupid things to his boyfriend.
Andrew dips his head to look at Jesse. He leans down and bites Jesse’s bottom lip, commenting, “Can you now?”
When he stretches his arms out over Jesse’s bare chest, Jesse is hit with another wave of desire.
“Lie on top of me properly, this is uncomfortable.” Jesse mutters.
Andrew laughs and lifts Jesse’s head gingerly, before moving to lie over Jesse.
“We okay?” Andrew asks.
“Yeah, except now I’m shirtless and you’re not.”
“Okay, okay.”
Andrew sits up. He lifts his shirt up over his head, and discards it with a flick of his wrist. He grins down at Jesse.
“What is it?”
Andrew shakes his head and leans down, pressing his lips against Jesse’s neck.
Jesse’s heart rate picks up.
“Don’t give me another hickey, Andrew, the last one only went away just before school started.”
Andrew’s kisses are light. “I’ll be careful.”
Jesse lets his hands rest in the dip of Andrew’s back as Andrew places kisses around Jesse’s chin and neck. He starts moving down.
(lust)
Andrew slides his lips over Jesse’s shoulders.
“We’re okay, aren’t we, Jess? This is good, right?” Andrew murmurs. “’Cause you’re my boyfriend - ” He smacks a kiss underneath Jesse’s collarbone. “- and I’m your boyfriend - ” Andrew scrapes his teeth down the middle of Jesse’s chest and Jesse arches up slightly. “ - and right now we’re - ” He moans against Jesse’s skin. “ - having a hot make-out - ” Andrew presses his face into Jesse’s stomach, and Jesse shudders. Fuck! “ - session.”
Andrew raises his head.
“Jess?”
“I’m - fine.”
Andrew’s face appears before his. “We okay?”
(those lips)
Jesse lurches up to kiss Andrew and when Jesse falls back to the bed, Andrew smiles.
“What?”
“Nothing. I’m going to try something.”
Jesse settles into the mattress.
(shirtless)
(but okay)
Andrew leans over Jesse’s chest, and hovers above his right nipple. He ducks his head, but his eyes remain alert, staring at Jesse. Andrew’s tongue darts out and it swipes across Jesse’s nipple and Jesse gasps.
Andrew smirks and he starts tonguing at the nipple, and Jesse?
Jesse isn’t thinking at all.
He whines, a broken sound. Andrew moves to the other one, sloppily sucking and biting, with Jesse squirming beneath him.
Jesse clutches at Andrew’s hair.
(hunger)
Andrew moves further down, to nose at Jesse’s ribs.
“Fuck, Jess, how thin are you?”
“Huh.” Jesse stutters.
“Your ribs are jutting out.” Andrew breathes.
“It’s the way I’m - fuck - lying - shit, Andrew.”
Andrew grazes his teeth across the drop in Jesse’s stomach and then smirks up at him.
“What?”
Jesse lifts his head, in time to see Andrew stick his tongue out and swipe it over his bellybutton.
“You’re licking me.”
Andrew buries his face into Jesse’s skin, trailing wet kisses up to Jesse’s chest again.
“Yeah, and you find this hot, don’t you?”
When Andrew bites at Jesse’s collarbone, Jesse groans.
“Where did you - holy fucking shit -”
Andrew is sliding his torso against Jesse’s, mouthing at Jesse’s neck again.
“Where did I what?” Andrew breathes into Jesse’s ear.
Jesse moans softly. He starts rocking up into Andrew.
“Learn how to do -” He whimpers. “ - what you’re doing.”
Andrew laughs against Jesse’s neck and the sensation makes Jesse twitch.
“I don’t know what I’m doing, I just know that I am incredibly horny right now and have my boyfriend underneath me.”
(want)
“Get off me.” Jesse stammers.
Andrew freezes. “What? Are we okay? Jess I’m - ”
Jesse gathers all of the strength from his shaking limbs and rolls them over, so Andrew’s worried expression is staring up at him.
“You’re always on top of me. I thought we could swap.” Jesse says.
(on top)
(of andrew)
(pounding -)
(no)
The set of Andrew’s mouth shifts into a smile so incredibly attractive Jesse simply has to bend down and kiss it.
He begins rubbing against Andrew, and he feels Andrew’s legs wrap leisurely around Jesse’s.
Andrew purrs into Jesse’s mouth, whispering, “Kiss my neck.”
Jesse likes this position. Being on top of Andrew. He likes it a lot.
He presses his face into Andrew’s neck, and -
(okay)
Andrew’s hands inch their way to Jesse’s ass and Jesse bites at the soft skin of Andrew’s neck. He nips at Andrew’s ear because there is no one way to do this, there is no right way - right? - it’s just - do what you want.
(want andrew)
(but can’t tell)
“Jess.”
Jesse smiles into Andrew’s skin. His teeth slide down Andrew’s neck, grazing their way along. Jesse pulls back and admires his handiwork. The skin of Andrew’s neck is red and there’s a pinkish trail leading down to Andrew’s collarbone.
“Fuck, Jess. What are you - ”
Jesse thrusts hard onto Andrew and Andrew’s body jerks.
(this is absolutely the best thing)
He moves his fingers into Andrew’s hair and tightens his grasp.
(you like it when i’m rough)
“Jess - ”
Jesse yanks, forcing Andrew’s head back, forcing a choked grunt out from between his wet lips. Jesse sucks at the golden expanse between where Andrew’s ribs protrude and Andrew is muttering holy fuck under his breath. His hands slide up Jesse’s back and Jesse arches into the touch.
He moves lower.
Kissing his way to Andrew’s bellybutton, he hears Andrew’s breathing quicken, and Jesse is lost in his desire, in Andrew’s desire. It hangs in the air, thickening around them.
Andrew’s pants have slipped a little, exposing some absolutely delectable hipbones.
(oh)
Jesse never knew a person’s body could be this inviting, this…fun.
He takes a chance and mouths at Andrew’s hipbones.
(fuck)
Andrew jerks and Jesse’s head slips, over Andrew’s clothed erection.
Jesse flinches.
(andrew’s lips around jesse’s cock)
(jesse’s lips around andrew’s cock)
Fuck, no. Can’t. What?
“Jesse?”
Jesse stares at the obvious erection in Andrew’s pants.
Can’t.
“Jess, it’s okay don’t - ”
Jesse is shirtless, Andrew is shirtless. They both have erections. Jesse probably just left a hickey on Andrew’s neck and the light is on and they’re on the covers and they both have erections and Jesse is shirtless and he just kissed Andrew’s hipbones and the door is unlocked and Andrew’s erection is right there and they’re both boys and this is - too new.
“Hey, hey, Jess, let’s sleep now, it’s okay.”
It’s Andrew. It’s okay.
“Can we… stop now?” Jesse asks quietly.
“Absolutely - yeah. No. Jess I’m sor - let’s - stop.”
Jesse gets off the bed and finds his shirt. Andrew does the same and Jesse comforts himself with their usual routine of getting changed into their pyjamas - one will close their eyes, then the other, and then they’ll both brush their teeth, bumping into each other as they do so. Jesse will use the toothbrush Andrew keeps for him on the bench and Andrew will try to talk despite himself.
Jesse finishes and he gets into bed first, waiting for Andrew to come, lock the door, and turn the light off.
He’s still hard, though.
Andrew falls into bed. He lies next to Jesse for a few moments before muttering, “We still okay?”
Jesse sighs and turns over, into Andrew. He leans his head on top of Andrew’s shoulder.
NEXT
Word count:10,000
Author's notes: Okay, people, I need you to know now that this story is probably going to be around 20 chapters long, maybe a little less, maybe a little more, okay? I'm anticipating it to reach 100,000+ words, okay? That cool? Also, LJ's new font looks icky.
Soundtrack: sweet disposition - the temper trap
At AO3
Jesse’s pocket vibrates. He jolts, and looks around, but no one seems to notice. Elizabeth sits next to him, ignoring him politely, the teacher’s back is to the class and everyone else is tired, looking forward to the end of the school day. A week in after winter break and it’s already like they’d never left.
(except)
(boyfriend)
He stealthily dips a hand into his pocket and holds his phone on his lap, reading the text.
From Joe:
hey i need to c u after school? can walk home 2gether?
Oh, okay. Well - usually he walks home with - no. It’s okay. Kristen’s going to Rob’s after school and - Andrew? Andrew waits for him now. Andrew, who, if they’re alone, steals kisses from Jesse when there’s no one in the street, and tries to hold his hand despite Jesse being paranoid someone will see in the broad daylight.
(look forward to being alone with andrew)
Joe seems pretty desperate, so he’ll just have to tell Andrew they can’t walk home together, or something. Though he’s not sure how that’ll work, considering they walk in the same direction.
Joe:
um, can we hang about at school for a bit before we walk home?
Jesse looks back up. Nothing’s changed. Joe eventually responds ok and Jesse puts his phone back into his pocket. He stares at the whiteboard. Calculus. Okay, uh, differentiation, yep, got it - andrew - product rule? Sure, let’s just write that - kisses - down and - hair - chain rule? Isn’t that kind of like - cuddles - the product - the way he listens - rule? No?
Elizabeth raises her hand and clears her throat. The teacher turns around to address her. Jesse’s eyes close, but he quickly opens them again.
(you can put your hand in)
Elizabeth is talking.
(if you want)
Now that she’s dating his friend, they sit together in math class, but it’s not like they talk that much, or anything.
(boyfriend)
What is Elizabeth even saying?
(not ready to tell)
Quotient rule?
(hide)
Ahh, what.
(but his smile)
The teacher says something and Elizabeth seems satisfied with the answer. The teacher turns around again and Elizabeth is scribbling into her notebook. Jesse’s exhausted. He looks down at his work, fighting to keep his eyes open.
(so beautiful)
Stayed up too late last night talking to Andrew on the phone.
(wish i was with you)
Oh. Okay, quotient rule, better write that -
His phone vibrates again. What? What does Joe want now…?
From Andrew:
Look up.
What? Andrew?
Jesse looks up. What is he - oh.
Andrew’s face is peering through the small window in the classroom door. When he sees Jesse’s spotted him, he waggles his eyebrows and bobs up and down, smiling like his life depends on it.
(what)
Jesse’s lips twitch.
(andrew!)
When Jesse fails to respond adequately, Andrew frowns and puts his hand to the window, which blocks out most of his face, but Jesse can see that he says something, though there’s no way he can actually understand what Andrew’s saying -
“Is that Andrew?” Elizabeth whispers.
“Uh, yeah.”
Elizabeth smiles at Andrew, and he smiles back from behind his hand. She turns back to her work. Andrew looks down, with his hand remaining on the glass.
What is Andrew even -
Jesse’s phone vibrates and he glances around shiftily before checking the message.
From Andrew:
Show me your palm!
What? Jesse frowns. Show…Okay? Jesse raises his hand slightly and Andrew clearly delights in this, nodding his head, smiling so his eyes crinkle and his cheeks lift slightly and his whole expression just softens.
“Okay, class, for homework I want you to…”
The teacher swings around and Andrew ducks. Jesse’s hand drops back to his lap and he shoves his phone into his pocket.
After scribbling down his homework and staring blankly at the teacher, the day is finally over and thank fuck it’s Friday.
He stands up, gathering his belongings, and waits to leave the classroom. Elizabeth smiles goodbye and Jesse has to wait, because everyone is shoving and pushing. Jesse stands at his desk impatiently, and when the last person has filed out including the teacher, he walks through the door -
“Hi Jesse!”
Jesse jumps. “Fuck, Andrew, don’t do that.”
Andrew slings an arm around Jesse’s shoulders as they walk to Jesse’s locker. He navigates Jesse through the noisy crowd of people and Jesse lets himself be led.
“We’re hanging out tomorrow after swimming, right?” Andrew asks and Jesse replies, “I’ll come over before dinner. Sophia and Carina aren’t coming tomorrow, and I have to take Hallie Kate home. And then do some homework.”
“Okay.”
Joe is waiting at Jesse’s locker and, oh, right.
“Hey, Joe! What’s up?” Andrew grins, and Jesse is trying to open his locker, but Andrew’s arm remains stubbornly around his shoulders, so his movements have to be small and awkward.
Joe grins back, but casts a quick glance at Jesse. Right.
“Uh, Andrew, I can’t walk home with you today.”
“What? Why?”
Joe looks slightly embarrassed and Jesse says, “I’m walking home with Joe.”
Andrew’s arm slides off Jesse’s shoulders and he takes a step back, straightening.
“Okay.”
“But I’ll call you tonight, okay? Andrew? And see you tomorrow?” Jesse hurriedly adds.
Andrew offers a slight smile, but that’s all. “Yep. See you guys.” He nods and then walks away. Jesse watches him disappear into the sea of teenagers, until Joe taps him on the arm.
“Sorry for cock-blocking you guys.”
Jesse turns back to Joe, after grabbing his bag and shutting his locker. They begin pushing through the crowd.
“You didn’t. Don’t worry about it. I don’t know why - Andrew. He’s. Well.”
“Clingy?” Joe tries.
(but)
“Yeah, just a little bit.”
Joe chuckles and they exit the school building.
(but)
“It’s not bad or anything, though, you know? I don’t care, I don’t mind, I like it, I don’t think it’s that annoying, I understand why, if I could spend all my time with him I would -”
“Hey, hey, man, it’s okay. I understand. I get like that with Patrick, sometimes.”
As they walk home, Jesse wonders if Andrew will dawdle just so they’ll catch up with him. They cross the road.
“What did you want to talk about, Joe?”
Joe blinks, strolling with his hands in his pockets. He smiles, looks up at the sun, squints, furrows his brow as if in thought, yawns and closes his eyes tightly for a few seconds. Jesse keeps his focus ahead, though he glances over at Joe a few times, waiting. It’s cold, but the sun’s out, and it reflects off his hair. A nice orange-brown colour that Jesse thinks is rather pleasing.
(andrew)
(golden)
(sunlight)
“I asked Patrick out.”
(yeah)
(boyfriend)
Their shoes scuff against the sidewalk.
“He said yes.”
(yeah)
“I want to tell people.”
Jesse lifts his head.
“But he doesn’t.”
(what)
(yeah)
“He says we can maybe tell our close friends and stuff, and even our family, but not…he doesn’t want to be open about it. You know? When I ask him why he just goes quiet and then there’s nothing I can do but hug him.”
“Yeah.”
“But I want to be open! You know, eventually, because sometimes I want to announce it to the whole world that, I, Joe Mazzello, have a boyfriend and he likes me and wants to kiss me and I am gay -”
Joe kicks at the pavement and stops walking. Jesse keeps walking, but then notices he’s stopped, and has to backtrack.
“What?” He asks.
Joe sighs heavily. “I’m gay, right?”
(you are)
(but)
(i don’t know)
“Yeah?”
Joe nods with conviction. “I am gay. I think Patrick is beautiful. And not just him, and I’ve always preferred gay porn to straight porn and I have fantasies about Patrick’s dick and guys are hot and hey, Jesse, Andrew is pretty damn fine too, you know, you’re lucky he likes you.”
(yes)
“What? I know - no - Shut up, Joe. Stop thinking about my boyfriend and let’s get back to your -”
“Jesse!?” Joe gapes at him.
What? What’s the problem? Did he - Joe - wait -
“Jesse, your boyfriend!?”
Oh right, well yes, but Joe -
“Jesse you didn’t tell me that Andrew was now your -”
“Be quiet!” Jesse hisses.
A bunch of juniors move past rowdily and Jesse waits until they’re well away before turning to Joe and muttering, “Yes, Andrew is now my boyfriend.”
(mine)
Joe laughs in surprise, exclaiming, “Well, isn’t that something!”
Jesse frowns and starts walking. He wants to get home, do homework, eat dinner, get into bed, and call Andrew. Then see him tomorrow. And kiss him.
“What’s ‘something’?” He mumbles.
Joe rubs his hands together. “Nothing. Just - Jesse. Jesse! Little Jesse Eisenberg. Sweet little Jesse Eisenberg who’s - our friends - Jesse. No one has any idea. They all think you’re some innocent…child. Heck, you know what? Armie even told me he thinks you’re asexual - you know why? You’ve never - oh man, I mean, I was excited when you said you liked Andrew and you said you wanted to date him but I just realized - now - he’s your - dude, we can come out together.”
(what!?)
(andrew)
(but)
“…tell people and it’ll make Patrick feel better -”
“No! Joe! What are you - I can’t. I’m not gay! People will call me gay, I’m not ready.”
Joe’s chattering immediately ceases.
“There’s nothing wrong with being gay.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that, Joe, I would never -”
“Okay, that’s okay, but you’ve got a boyfriend.”
“He’s only my boyfriend because I don’t want anyone else kissing him.”
(or touching)
(or being)
(mine)
“But if you don’t tell anyone, people won’t know and they’ll try to kiss him anyway.”
(no)
(andrew wouldn’t)
They stop walking, because it’s time for Joe to turn off to his street.
He doesn’t like Joe’s expression. It makes him feel like a bad friend - he wasn’t even able to help Joe with his problem.
It’s not like you want to tell anyone you’ve got a boyfriend yet either though.
But I’m not homophobic.
I’m not.
(just)
(scared)
Jesse stares glumly at Joe. Joe stares glumly back at him. Then he shakes his head and smiles.
“I’m sorry, Jesse. I understand. These things - this - fuck. You know? If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. Of course. I’m not going to pressure you into coming out or anything. That’d be - oh shit…”
Joe’s head drops slightly, as does his jaw, and his eyes glaze over.
“Joe? Are you okay?”
“Patrick.” He mutters under his breath.
“Yes, your -”
“No, Patrick! I’ve been pressuring him into - oh shit! He must hate me! Fuck! Hey, Jesse, great to talk to you, I’ll catch you later!”
And with that, Joe runs off down his street. Jesse is so shocked he just stands there, even as he watches Joe nearly trip over himself when stumbling up the porch stairs and practically falling into his house when he gets the door open.
Huh.
Well.
Jesse.
So.
Okay?
Maybe he did help out after all.
************
“Hey, Jess.”
“Hi.”
Jesse settles further into the mattress and smiles to himself. Tomorrow he gets to be with Andrew.
Andrew doesn’t say anything further, so Jesse whispers, “I miss you.”
There’s no response though.
What?
“Andrew? Is something wrong?”
“No.”
“There clearly is.”
“I’m okay.”
But he clearly isn’t.
“Are you sure?”
Andrew sighs, and Jesse is nervous.
What has he done?
What’s gone wrong?
He fucked up, he fucked up, he’s fucked up - again - and shit this boyfriend business is not a walk in the park that’s for sure. It’s been nearly two weeks, or something, two weeks of being Andrew’s boyfriend and two weeks of stolen kisses and two weeks of going to Andrew’s and locking themselves in his room whilst they rub against each other feverishly. Andrew takes his top off sometimes - okay all of the time - and Jesse will usually work his hand down to their erections, where he’ll pull both their pants off. Andrew avoids giving Jesse a hickey on his neck and Jesse runs his hands all over Andrew’s naked back and chest, though he doesn’t kiss any of the skin, yet.
Andrew likes a cuddle afterwards, despite the mess under the covers, and Jesse doesn’t mind it. He’s safe, comfortable, with Andrew, when they’re alone. There is nothing, nothing else.
Except when he leaves, his life comes rushing back, to remind him that that’s not the case.
“Do you not want to be my boyfriend anymore?” Jesse asks quietly.
Jesse hears a sharp intake of breath and then Andrew’s sudden response. “No, no, no, no, Jess, no, I’m - of course I do, you’re my - I’m just - I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, I’m sorry, clearly I’ve done something to upset you -”
“No, no, it’s just me being stupid -”
“Will you tell me what it is, then? Because you are not stupid and I still really like you and I’m sorry I -”
“I was upset we didn’t get to walk home today.”
“What?”
“I was upset because I knew Kristen was going to Rob’s and I was looking forward to being alone with you because today we couldn’t hang out at lunch because I had to be with Carey and I like Joe but I was looking forward to walking home with you and I got kind of jealous and I’m sorry for being clingy because I clearly am.”
Oh.
“How many times do I have to tell - oh Andrew. We’ll see each other tomorrow.”
“Yeah, tomorrow. And you’re sleeping over?”
“Sure.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m getting sick of telling you to stop saying -”
“I’m sorry.”
“Andrew! Honestly! It’s okay. We’re okay. We’re okay, yeah?”
“Yeah. Jess - the last two weeks have been the absolute best.”
“I know.”
“I’m so happy I met you.”
Jesse smiles sleepily. “Me too.”
“Tell me about your day?”
“Well, morning class was adequate, though I think Mr Krotz doesn’t really understand why…”
He launches into a recount of his day at school, but after an hour they’re talking about sex.
“Now I’m horny.” Andrew says.
“You’re always horny.” Jesse replies.
“It’s not my fault you have such a seductive voice.”
“What, Andrew, are you crazy?”
“What? I’m serious. I swear, everything about you is enticing.”
“Enticing? Really?”
“Yeah - your lips and voice and hair and eyes and body -”
“What? My body?”
Andrew sighs patiently. “Ask me why I like you.”
(humour him)
“Why do you like me, Andrew?”
“Because you’re my best friend, you’re funny, you are attractive, you listen to me, you care about me, I can’t stop thinking about you, when I’m with you I feel like I can do anything, I want to hold you and never let go, you make me feel special, I think you’re a beautiful person, you’re intelligent, kind, respectful and I think you’re -”
“Okay, that’s enough, I think I’m going to throw up.”
“What, why? Are you okay? Are you sick?” Andrew sounds anxious.
“No, no, just - too many compliments.”
Andrew laughs. “But they’re all true, Jess. I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“I know, I know. I don’t necessarily agree with you, but I guess no one ever does when it comes to these things. You’re a romantic. It’s cool. I like it. Thank-you? I like you. I’ve never liked anyone else before. Did you know that?”
“Yeah, you’ve told me.”
Andrew is quiet for a moment. “So then, how did you know you liked me, if you’ve never liked anyone before?”
Jesse hears his parents’ footsteps and he starts speaking more quietly. “Ah, well, because….”
“Jess?”
“I have to be quiet. Hallie Kate will wake up if I’m too loud. But I was going to say that I knew I liked you when - well - I. Um. I’ve told you before, I think. I realized I was getting a lot of erections and I was thinking about you when I was jerking off - and I never used to jerk off that much. But I think I always found you attractive, like, since the first day I laid eyes on you. And then we somehow became friends and I realized you were perf- really nice.”
Andrew coos at him. “Now who’s being romantic?”
“Fuck off.”
“Shan’t.”
“Good.”
There’s a beat of silence and then Andrew mumbles, “Tomorrow, can I kiss you?”
“Um, I’m pretty sure we’re at a stage where you don’t have to ask that.”
“I mean - can I kiss you on your…body.”
(what)
(where?)
(on jesse’s….?)
“Not your dick or anything, no - not yet anyway - I mean, uh, like, on your stomach, and stuff.”
(kiss his)
(golden skin)
Jesse ignores the passing mention of a blowjob, because even though Andrew insists there’s no certain ‘way’ to be a boyfriend, a blowjob after two weeks of dating, Jesse thinks, is not how he wants to be a boyfriend.
Not that you know how you want to be a boyfriend anyway.
(shut up)
“So, you want me to take my top off.”
“Well, I always do.”
“Because you want to and you have a nice chest.”
Andrew chuckles. “Thanks, Jess. You do too, though. But like, if you don’t want to…”
(want to)
(kiss)
(golden)
“We’ll see how I am tomorrow, okay?” Jesse finally replies. “And I don’t have a nice chest in comparison to you.”
Andrew hums. “Well, we’re not comparing you to me, are we? So it doesn’t matter. And anyway, you do.”
Jesse closes his eyes and Andrew’s next words are under his breath.
“Tomorrow if you let me, I’ll show you just how much I think that’s true…”
(okay)
Jesse remains silent. He is sleepy. Their breathing is gentle.
Andrew begins singing softly.
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…”
Eh?
“…you make me happy, when skies are gray…”
“Are you singing to me?”
“…No.”
Jesse scoffs cheekily. “You are, aren’t you.”
“Maybe.”
“You’re such a romantic.”
“You love it.”
Andrew continues singing, more boldly this time. Jesse smiles to himself lazily.
“Yeah, I do.”
************
“A sleepover again?
“Yes, Mom.”
Jesse is one foot out the door. It’s getting dark and he wants to be with Andrew already.
“Are Jenny and Roger okay with that? You’ve been going there an awful lot recently.”
“They say they like me.” Jesse shrugs.
His mom laughs and she ruffles his hair, though he tries to duck away.
“Of course they like you, you’re my little boy.”
Jesse frowns at her. Andrew thinks he’s little, too. And Joe. But he’s not.
“Okay! So you’re not that small anymore, but you’ll always be my baby boy. You remember - you remember that I love you, right? Both of us - your dad, too.”
“Yes, Mom.”
“And - you can tell me…anything, dear. Anything.”
“Yes, Mom.”
She gives him a look.
“Yes, Mom. I love you too. Um, I appreciate the sentiment but right now -”
“I know, I know. Andrew. Andrew’s waiting.” She smiles quietly.
“Yep.”
He waves curtly and has just reached the sidewalk, but his mom calls out again.
“Oh, and call Kerri sometime? She says she needs to talk to you.”
Jesse starts walking and he yells, “Okay.”
But he knows he won’t.
************
They drag the futon to Andrew’s room, with Roger trailing behind.
He smiles at them whilst they set it up.
“You’ve become a regular in this household, Jesse. I like it.”
“Ah, thanks.”
Andrew smirks to himself as he lays the spare comforter out.
“I think it’s going to become a routine, Uncle. Every single Saturday, if we can help it, Jesse’s sleeping over here. Okay?”
Roger throws his head back and laughs and Jesse is reminded of when Andrew does that, too.
“Yeah! Why not! I’ll tell your Aunty Jenny. Well, boys, I’ll leave you to it. I suppose you won’t be coming downstairs again tonight?”
Jesse shrugs but Andrew says, “No.”
“Goodnight to you two, then.”
He leaves and Andrew lets out a long sigh of relief.
“I thought he’d never leave.”
Andrew jumps onto his bed and Jesse lies down next to him.
(home)
“This is my favourite place, you know.” Jesse admits.
“Is it?”
Andrew shuffles so he’s sitting cross-legged, with Jesse’s head in his lap.
Jesse closes his eyes and hums happily.
He feels hot breath on his face, and then Andrew’s kissing him, upside-down.
It’s weird.
But.
Jesse raises an arm. He finds Andrew’s head and threads his fingers through Andrew’s hair, gently massaging Andrew’s scalp.
Andrew slides his hand down to rest over Jesse’s other hand, on his stomach.
The kiss becomes a little heated.
Jesse throws his head back and Andrew starts kissing down his neck. Jesse’s face is being pressed into Andrew’s stomach, but that is unimportant, as Andrew is currently mouthing at Jesse’s neck and under his chin and then he moves his mouth down to suck at where Jesse’s collarbone is bared.
Fuck.
(maybe..)
Andrew’s fingers are rubbing Jesse’s hand gently, and Jesse feels that familiar wave of desire, so he takes Andrew’s hand and slowly moves it to underneath his shirt.
“Jess.” Andrew whispers into Jesse’s skin.
He moves his hand up, letting the shirt pull up with it. Jesse trembles slightly, because they’re doing this in the light, not beneath the covers, and Jesse realizes the door is unlocked but he’s too occupied to care.
“Jess, I’m going to take your shirt off now.”
Jesse tries to nod, but his head is still squished.
Andrew uncurls as he pulls at Jesse’s shirt. Jesse’s arms lift as Andrew leans back to get it completely off and okay, now he’s throwing it to the floor and Jesse is shirtless and lying on Andrew’s bed with Andrew above him, scrutinizing every inch of his scrawny chest -
“I really like your body.” Andrew says quietly.
Jesse opens his eyes, looking directly up at the bottom of Andrew’s chin.
“I can see up your nose.” Jesse says, because he regularly likes to point out stupid things to his boyfriend.
Andrew dips his head to look at Jesse. He leans down and bites Jesse’s bottom lip, commenting, “Can you now?”
When he stretches his arms out over Jesse’s bare chest, Jesse is hit with another wave of desire.
“Lie on top of me properly, this is uncomfortable.” Jesse mutters.
Andrew laughs and lifts Jesse’s head gingerly, before moving to lie over Jesse.
“We okay?” Andrew asks.
“Yeah, except now I’m shirtless and you’re not.”
“Okay, okay.”
Andrew sits up. He lifts his shirt up over his head, and discards it with a flick of his wrist. He grins down at Jesse.
“What is it?”
Andrew shakes his head and leans down, pressing his lips against Jesse’s neck.
Jesse’s heart rate picks up.
“Don’t give me another hickey, Andrew, the last one only went away just before school started.”
Andrew’s kisses are light. “I’ll be careful.”
Jesse lets his hands rest in the dip of Andrew’s back as Andrew places kisses around Jesse’s chin and neck. He starts moving down.
(lust)
Andrew slides his lips over Jesse’s shoulders.
“We’re okay, aren’t we, Jess? This is good, right?” Andrew murmurs. “’Cause you’re my boyfriend - ” He smacks a kiss underneath Jesse’s collarbone. “- and I’m your boyfriend - ” Andrew scrapes his teeth down the middle of Jesse’s chest and Jesse arches up slightly. “ - and right now we’re - ” He moans against Jesse’s skin. “ - having a hot make-out - ” Andrew presses his face into Jesse’s stomach, and Jesse shudders. Fuck! “ - session.”
Andrew raises his head.
“Jess?”
“I’m - fine.”
Andrew’s face appears before his. “We okay?”
(those lips)
Jesse lurches up to kiss Andrew and when Jesse falls back to the bed, Andrew smiles.
“What?”
“Nothing. I’m going to try something.”
Jesse settles into the mattress.
(shirtless)
(but okay)
Andrew leans over Jesse’s chest, and hovers above his right nipple. He ducks his head, but his eyes remain alert, staring at Jesse. Andrew’s tongue darts out and it swipes across Jesse’s nipple and Jesse gasps.
Andrew smirks and he starts tonguing at the nipple, and Jesse?
Jesse isn’t thinking at all.
He whines, a broken sound. Andrew moves to the other one, sloppily sucking and biting, with Jesse squirming beneath him.
Jesse clutches at Andrew’s hair.
(hunger)
Andrew moves further down, to nose at Jesse’s ribs.
“Fuck, Jess, how thin are you?”
“Huh.” Jesse stutters.
“Your ribs are jutting out.” Andrew breathes.
“It’s the way I’m - fuck - lying - shit, Andrew.”
Andrew grazes his teeth across the drop in Jesse’s stomach and then smirks up at him.
“What?”
Jesse lifts his head, in time to see Andrew stick his tongue out and swipe it over his bellybutton.
“You’re licking me.”
Andrew buries his face into Jesse’s skin, trailing wet kisses up to Jesse’s chest again.
“Yeah, and you find this hot, don’t you?”
When Andrew bites at Jesse’s collarbone, Jesse groans.
“Where did you - holy fucking shit -”
Andrew is sliding his torso against Jesse’s, mouthing at Jesse’s neck again.
“Where did I what?” Andrew breathes into Jesse’s ear.
Jesse moans softly. He starts rocking up into Andrew.
“Learn how to do -” He whimpers. “ - what you’re doing.”
Andrew laughs against Jesse’s neck and the sensation makes Jesse twitch.
“I don’t know what I’m doing, I just know that I am incredibly horny right now and have my boyfriend underneath me.”
(want)
“Get off me.” Jesse stammers.
Andrew freezes. “What? Are we okay? Jess I’m - ”
Jesse gathers all of the strength from his shaking limbs and rolls them over, so Andrew’s worried expression is staring up at him.
“You’re always on top of me. I thought we could swap.” Jesse says.
(on top)
(of andrew)
(pounding -)
(no)
The set of Andrew’s mouth shifts into a smile so incredibly attractive Jesse simply has to bend down and kiss it.
He begins rubbing against Andrew, and he feels Andrew’s legs wrap leisurely around Jesse’s.
Andrew purrs into Jesse’s mouth, whispering, “Kiss my neck.”
Jesse likes this position. Being on top of Andrew. He likes it a lot.
He presses his face into Andrew’s neck, and -
(okay)
Andrew’s hands inch their way to Jesse’s ass and Jesse bites at the soft skin of Andrew’s neck. He nips at Andrew’s ear because there is no one way to do this, there is no right way - right? - it’s just - do what you want.
(want andrew)
(but can’t tell)
“Jess.”
Jesse smiles into Andrew’s skin. His teeth slide down Andrew’s neck, grazing their way along. Jesse pulls back and admires his handiwork. The skin of Andrew’s neck is red and there’s a pinkish trail leading down to Andrew’s collarbone.
“Fuck, Jess. What are you - ”
Jesse thrusts hard onto Andrew and Andrew’s body jerks.
(this is absolutely the best thing)
He moves his fingers into Andrew’s hair and tightens his grasp.
(you like it when i’m rough)
“Jess - ”
Jesse yanks, forcing Andrew’s head back, forcing a choked grunt out from between his wet lips. Jesse sucks at the golden expanse between where Andrew’s ribs protrude and Andrew is muttering holy fuck under his breath. His hands slide up Jesse’s back and Jesse arches into the touch.
He moves lower.
Kissing his way to Andrew’s bellybutton, he hears Andrew’s breathing quicken, and Jesse is lost in his desire, in Andrew’s desire. It hangs in the air, thickening around them.
Andrew’s pants have slipped a little, exposing some absolutely delectable hipbones.
(oh)
Jesse never knew a person’s body could be this inviting, this…fun.
He takes a chance and mouths at Andrew’s hipbones.
(fuck)
Andrew jerks and Jesse’s head slips, over Andrew’s clothed erection.
Jesse flinches.
(andrew’s lips around jesse’s cock)
(jesse’s lips around andrew’s cock)
Fuck, no. Can’t. What?
“Jesse?”
Jesse stares at the obvious erection in Andrew’s pants.
Can’t.
“Jess, it’s okay don’t - ”
Jesse is shirtless, Andrew is shirtless. They both have erections. Jesse probably just left a hickey on Andrew’s neck and the light is on and they’re on the covers and they both have erections and Jesse is shirtless and he just kissed Andrew’s hipbones and the door is unlocked and Andrew’s erection is right there and they’re both boys and this is - too new.
“Hey, hey, Jess, let’s sleep now, it’s okay.”
It’s Andrew. It’s okay.
“Can we… stop now?” Jesse asks quietly.
“Absolutely - yeah. No. Jess I’m sor - let’s - stop.”
Jesse gets off the bed and finds his shirt. Andrew does the same and Jesse comforts himself with their usual routine of getting changed into their pyjamas - one will close their eyes, then the other, and then they’ll both brush their teeth, bumping into each other as they do so. Jesse will use the toothbrush Andrew keeps for him on the bench and Andrew will try to talk despite himself.
Jesse finishes and he gets into bed first, waiting for Andrew to come, lock the door, and turn the light off.
He’s still hard, though.
Andrew falls into bed. He lies next to Jesse for a few moments before muttering, “We still okay?”
Jesse sighs and turns over, into Andrew. He leans his head on top of Andrew’s shoulder.
NEXT