fic: come in closer (i want you to) [4/?]
Chapter: iv: come in closer - blue october/the truth remains lethal (come in closer)
Word count: 5000
Author's notes: YAY THEIR FIRST KISS. OR SOMETHING. And again, lj is being annoying and spacing is stupid. ENJOY. ALSO WHAT IS AIR LOL JESSE IS SO SEXUALLY STARVED. okay. ENJOY.
Oh and by the way, title and soundtrack for this chapter and REASON I STARTED WRITING THIS FIC is from Blue October's Come in Closer (GO LISTEN BECAUSE IT'S AMAZING AND I IMAGINE IF THIS WAS A MOVIE, WHICH IT ISN'T, BUT IF IT WAS THIS MUSIC WOULD PLAY IN THE BACKGROUND WHEN JESSE AND ANDREW FIRST KISS)
At AO3
So they become friends. Jesse is shy, at first. His friendship with Andrew is…different to his other friendships. Comparing Andrew to JT isn’t even possible. When he’s with JT, alone, they talk, sure, they get along. They look out for each other, the way they’ve been doing for all of their adolescence, but their interests are entirely separate and Jesse sometimes finds it’s hard to keep up with JT.
Kristen is Jesse’s best friend, and they’re friends…just because they are. Jesse doesn’t know how he’d not be best friends with Kristen, he can’t even remember what it was like. Probably really lonely and dull. And of course there’s the rest of the group. Jesse loves them all, yeah. They’re his friends, why wouldn’t he?
Andrew, though. Jesse is shy at first because Andrew has a tendency to become overwhelming. He’s always throwing an arm around Jesse, or touching his waist and he’s also taken to pinching his cheeks the way Emma does, and now whenever Emma’s with Andrew, Jesse has to be extra wary because there’s every chance they’ll pinch both his cheeks, at the same time, and then laugh over it, leaving Jesse to grumble and rub at the red splotches left behind.
Every single time, however, when Andrew gets Jesse alone, he’ll pat Jesse’s cheeks and apologize, and Jesse will point out that he does this every time, and Andrew will laugh and promise to continue doing it anyway because Jesse is so cute and he couldn’t resist even if he tried.
Andrew will ruffle Jesse’s hair and rub his shoulder and sometimes, sometimes, if he catches Jesse itching his face or arm or wherever, Andrew will try to join in, or ‘help’, as he says, and generally succeeds unless Emma bats him away.
Andrew is unlike any of Jesse’s other friends, nor like anyone he has ever met before and he’s okay with that and he thinks Andrew is okay with him too.
The months pass. Applications for universities have started.
Some students were opting to take on a full load of advanced classes, but others are taking the more minimalist approach. Jesse took what classes he needed to, worked as much as he had to, and otherwise spent time doing personal reading and research, or hanging out with friends.
Jesse sometimes (usually) goes to Andrew’s place after swimming now, which means Hallie Kate is going to Carina’s more often as well -not that she’s complaining.
During the lessons, Jesse will watch Andrew and Andrew will always catch Jesse watching him; he’ll grin and wave and make a big fuss from the water (always a grin, always with teeth), which is definitely embarrassing. Sophia finds it adorable and invites Jesse and Andrew over with Hallie Kate and Carina, but they decline, usually. Jesse prefers Andrew’s room, where it’s private and they can talk about whatever they like. Well, Andrew generally does the talking and Jesse sits and listens - Andrew on the bed, Jesse in the desk chair - but sometimes Jesse will feel like talking and those are the days Andrew rests his chin in his hands and gazes at Jesse like he’s saying the most magnificent things. And Jesse isn’t really. He could be talking about his opinion on the gum underneath the chair that he accidentally touched once and Andrew would nod and furrow his brow as if he’s deep in thought, when he really shouldn’t be, not about gum underneath a chair, anyway.
Jesse (pretends he) doesn’t know why Andrew appears so enraptured with him. He asked, once, (“Why do you always dote on me?”) and Andrew just shrugged his shoulders and said, “You’re like no one I’ve ever met before. That’s all.” Jesse had to settle with that because (he tells himself) that’s the reason he’s apparently so enraptured with Andrew too.
More and more he’d been spending time with Andrew. Andrew is in none of his classes, but they’d find each other at lunch time - generally in the cafeteria with everyone else - however sometimes they’d sit out on bench, near the kids playing ball, and Andrew would put his arm around Jesse’s shoulder and Jesse would feel
(at home)
quite content to sit in the wind to just be alone with Andrew.
Jesse could already feel his senior year changing him and his friends.
Mid-November, just before Thanksgiving, Armie asked Elizabeth out and they became a pair. Jesse had heard that Matt and Karen Gillan were becoming friendly and yeah, Marcus and Carey were dating. Turns out they’d been long distancing and so now that they went to the same school, they’d spend absolutely every single waking second that they could together.
Emma finally admitted her feelings and stopped chasing after Andrew, finally accepting JT’s perhaps 15th attempt to ask her out. Though of course, JT’s attempts ranged from a cryptic note left in her locker that she didn’t even understand to a drunken phone call, so it wasn’t until he sucked it up and bought her a bouquet of daffodils, turned up on her doorstep and sang the words “Emma Stone, I’m all alone, these flowers remind me of you, because they’re vibrant and gorgeous too, my name is JT, and to my heart you hold the key, please go out with me.” that she accepted.
From inside, her brothers had clapped, apparently, and absolutely insisted that she say yes. She did, and JT has stopped drawing dicks since.
Kristen spends a lot of time with Rob now, but it’s okay.
In English class, sometime in the last week before winter break, Kristen frowned and had pulled Jesse aside and asked about Andrew. He wasn’t pushing Jesse into a friendship was he, was he too affectionate, would he like Kristen to talk to him, would he like Rob to talk to him? and Jesse had become discomfited; he didn’t like Kristen drawing attention to their friendship, as if it was any different from any other friendships
(it was)
(it is)
and no, Andrew was just fine. When Jesse said this, Kristen had smiled oh so radiantly and Jesse was confused to the change. Kristen said that she just wanted to make sure Jesse was comfortable, but otherwise, was overjoyed he’d made such a good friend. She felt bad that she’d been spending so much time with Rob, so was happy Jesse had someone else to occupy his time with. Then he’d pointed out that he was occupying most of his time with schoolwork and she’d laughed and hugged him, whispering, “You’ll always be my best friend, Jesse. You know you can tell me anything, yeah?”
Jesse had agreed but told her there was nothing to tell at that moment.
She’d gazed at him with a knowing smile on her lips, but said nothing.
For now, Jesse was contented. He was looking forward to winter break and to a new year. He had his old friends, who were discovering love and that was nice for them, and he had a new (best, definitely best) friend who he was still learning more about, and that was nice too.
Somehow it had happened, Jesse had become friends with a stranger, and it was working out just fine.
Jesse watched Andrew swimming and they hung out. If Jesse stole off to the boys change-room during these swim lessons, fidgeting, more often than he used to, well, no one ever said anything and Jesse didn’t think about it.
************
“Can you swim, Jess?” Andrew asks as they walk home from the last swimming lesson before Thanksgiving. The days are getting colder, and they walk close together.
“No. I can’t.”
“What, not even paddling?”
Jesse sighs. “No, I can’t swim, at all. Well, I’m sure I could keep afloat, but I don’t know how to freestyle or whatever.”
Bad idea. Bad idea because Andrew’s face breaks into a scarily huge smile and he exclaims, “I can teach you then!”
That’s how, one spare afternoon during Thanksgiving holiday, Jesse finds himself at the public pool, the one with the outdoor heating, wearing nothing but (long) swim shorts, looking at Andrew sceptically who’s already in the water in his
(tight black short)
swim briefs. Jesse is cold and he tells this to Andrew.
“You wouldn’t be cold if you were in the water. Come in, Jess!”
They’re not at the lap pool, but at the general activity pool, which is basically empty, except for a few mothers splashing around with small children in the infant area. It’s not exactly warm weather anymore, so Andrew had convinced Jesse to come with him on the premise that it’s Thanksgiving and no one is going to be at the pool anyway on a Thursday afternoon. You can come to my house afterwards, and sleep over, if you like.
Andrew holds out his arms and hands to Jesse as if he was one of the small children, who needed promising and reassuring. Jesse stares down at him with a frown, as he wraps his arms around his chest and rubs, shivering.
“I’m not a child.”
“Never mind, it’s warm in here, come, Jess, come to me. Nothing bad will happen, I promise, I’ve got you, I promise…” Andrew murmurs and Jesse really doesn’t think this is a good idea, but he’s come this far so he might as well.
(tight black spandex)
Without saying anything, he sits down on the ledge and kicks his legs in the water. It is quite warm and Jesse is tempted to just throw himself in, but Andrew murmurs encouraging words, like ‘good’, ‘there we go’, ‘easy does it’, and wads up to Jesse to take his hands. Jesse remains silent
(can’t speak)
and so lets Andrew gingerly pull him into the pool without a sound. His knees wobble but Andrew wraps his arm around Jesse’s torso and props him up against the wall.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
Jesse nods and breathes heavily. “I’m not a child, Andrew.”
(wet)
Andrew smiles down at him and he’s so close
(too close)
(close)
because his body is right there and Jesse is pressed up against the wall.
Except Andrew just laughs and pinches a cheek, saying “But you are as cute as one! Now, walk to me…” And Andrew takes a few steps back and puts his arms out again, as if Jesse is in actuality learning to walk or something. Jesse shakes his head and takes a few tentative steps forward, but really, this is the shallow end of the pool and he knows how to walk, even if it’s through chest-high water.
“Andrew, I know how to walk through water, it’s the swimming I can’t do.”
So Andrew laughs again (charming) and says, “Okay, well, let’s try something.” He grabs Jesse’s right hand and starts pulling him through towards the deep end of the pool. “No, wait, I don’t think this is a good idea. Stop. Andrew.” Andrew doesn’t, and Jesse starts to panic. “Andrew, please.”They stop, and Jesse is treading water now. “I can’t feel the bottom of the pool, Andrew, please, take me back, I can’t -“ He’s breathing heavily and closes his eyes, legs kicking furiously to keep himself afloat. So he can do this, but it doesn’t mean he likes feeling like he’s going to drown unless he flails madly.
Andrew wraps his arms around Jesse in a hug and murmurs in his ear. “Shhh, you’re safe. It’s okay. I’m here.” But Jesse can’t, he can’t feel safe, no, his little sister might be able to tread water happily but he can’t, he can’t, no no no no -
Suddenly he feels that’s he’s kicking at air and he’s on his back. What. He’s floating on his back. He opens his eyes and he’s floating, Andrew next to him as he keeps a steady hand on Jesse’s back and another hand on Jesse’s shoulder.
Andrew smiles. “See?”
Jesse closes his eyes again and lets himself float, knowing Andrew is there to
(keep him safe)
steady him.
There is something peculiar about floating. You feel light, transient; your ears are sort of half in, half out of the water and sounds are muffled, but the smell of chlorine wafts into your nostrils and air breezes tickle your face. They’re outside, so Jesse’s front side soon becomes cold whilst his backside remains warm, especially at the point of contact between Jesse’s back and Andrew’s hand. Here it feels hot.
A gust of air blows over Jesse and he shivers despite himself. His face goes red when he realizes his penis has started to perk up and he begins to fidget. Andrew doesn’t realize though, it seems, and starts to move Jesse through the water, back to the shallow end.
Jesse opens his eyes as Andrew allows his legs to gently drop back into the pool until he’s upright again. Andrew smiles at him, the one where the sides of his eyes crinkle and his cheeks lift but it’s without teeth.
(beautiful)
“That wasn’t so bad.” Jesse says, silently willing his penis to stay down.
“Yeah.” Andrew agrees. He looks at Jesse and then suddenly he’s splashing water at Jesse’s face, giggling and making a ruckus, so Jesse retaliates, turning his head away from Andrew as he splashes water back at him. Jesse continues this until he realizes Andrew has ducked underneath the water. He looks at the place where Andrew was and then feels something grab his legs and pull him under. He yelps and flails, resisting the urge to kick because he knows it’s Andrew, clearly, and he doesn’t want to accidentally whack Andrew in the head with his feet. He resurfaces just as quickly as he was pulled under. Jesse gasps for breath and glares at Andrew, who’s thrown his head back in laughter, his chest heaving.
“That wasn’t funny.” Jesse tries to say angrily, but it’s half-hearted and Andrew’s laughter is infectious, even if it’s directed at him.
Jesse bets he knows what he looks like - a half-drowned rat or something. Jesse’s curls would be matted, his cheeks red and splotchy. He feels embarrassed and puts his hands to his face.
Andrew stops and looks at Jesse, the chuckles dying down. Andrew reaches over and pulls Jesse’s hands away.
Jesse looks at Andrew.
Water drips into Andrew’s eyes from his hair.
Jesse feels an urge to reach up, but Andrew is still holding his hands.
They stare at each other, silently.
(it’s not what they say)
(it’s what they don’t say)
(it’s in his actions)
Jesse edges closer to Andrew and he swears his heart rate is quickening; he pretends he can hear Andrew’s heart, beating right out of that glistening wet torso of his, golden, slick, naked. Andrew’s face is getting closer and Jesse can see right into his brown irises, the depths of his eyes seem abysmal, bottomless, they’re wide and look
(scared)
(vulnerable)
(SCARED)
scared. Andrew’s fingers fold into Jesse’s and -
“Roger don’t you dare!” And then a splash and soon fresh water drips down into their faces.
The trance is broken and Jesse pulls back; he splutters and wipes at his face. Andrew coughs, saying hoarsely, “Do you want to go home now?” He’s looking everywhere but at Jesse.
Andrew coughs again to clear his throat and pushes himself out of the water. “Anyway, I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll get our stuff from the lockers and meet you in the change-room, okay?” When Jesse pants out an all right Andrew dashes off. He’s pulling at his swim briefs and hurrying very awkwardly away.
Jesse watches him go, feeling befuddled.
************Andrew is in a corner of the change-room. Jesse pads up slowly to him but Andrew turns around and for a second looks startled, but he regains his composure and smiles hesitantly at Jesse.
The corners of Jesse’s mouth twitch upwards in response; Andrew’s smiles are hard to not return.
(beautiful)
They’re both still in swimwear. Andrew stands before Jesse and shuffles his feet a bit before he raises his head and says, “Well, let’s get changed then, yeah?” To which Jesse nods. Instinctively he looks around for a toilet stall, but there are none. There are no toilet stalls in the change-room. There are no toilet stalls in the -
“Jess, your clothes are here.” Andrew has separated their clothes and pushed them over. Jesse nods his head and starts sorting through them. His very comfortable grey sweat pants, his faded blue t-shirt, his black socks, his sneakers, his white underwear.
Oh. Andrew would have seen that.
Oh.
Jesse snatches a glance right, to see Andrew patting at his chest with a towel, like that first time Jesse hung out with him after swimming, when Jesse got
(he got)
(when Jesse got)
(a)
(it was)
(a)
(he)
(he got an erection from watching)
to go to Andrew’s house for the first time.
He keeps his eyes trained on his pile of clothing because Andrew is whistling and pulling his swim briefs down and for a glorious moment Andrew is naked, Jesse knows that Andrew is naked but he doesn’t look.
(terrified)
He doesn’t look (it’s just a dick) and he doesn’t look (lean thighs) and he doesn’t look (nothing to feel up) and he doesn’t look (he’s beautiful) and he studies his fingernails (doesn’t look) and clears his throat (doesn’t look) and feels pasty in comparison to Andrew’s (golden golden golden golden golden golden) body.
“All right, Jess?”
“Ah, yeah.”
Andrew is dressed now and Jesse feels stupid. “I’m not dressed.”
“I can see that.” And there is amusement in Andrew’s voice. (beautiful)
But Jesse doesn’t know what to do. What does he do? How will he get dressed? There are no toilet stalls and Jesse is still in his swim shorts.
Andrew apparently senses Jesse’s dilemma, because he grabs one of Jesse’s large towels. It’s larger than usual, probably. Jesse prefers it when he can wrap himself almost completely in the towel, as opposed to something he can only cover his lower half in.
Jesse pulls on his t-shirt, but is left looking down at his feet, and at his very bare legs and swim shorts.
“Here.” Andrew faces Jesse and wraps the towel around him, leaving only Jesse’s lower shins sticking out. Jesse looks up at Andrew with a quizzical expression.
“What…?”
“Come on! Get dressed. I’m itching to get back home. You’re sleeping over tonight, yeah?”
Jesse was still contemplating it actually, but says yes anyway.
“Well then, get dressed. Don’t worry, I’m holding the towel for you.”
So this is what Hallie Kate must feel like.
He glances down again at his lower half, then looks up at Andrew, who gives an encouraging nod and flaps the towel around a bit as if to say hurry up.
And if you asked him, he would not be able to tell you where in his nervous little body he found the valour, but Jesse starts to inch his shorts down, past his hips, pulling it past his ass and it slides down his thighs until it falls to the ground. It pools around Jesse’s feet.
Jesse is basically naked.
(jesse is naked)
Andrew does not look away from Jesse’s face. Their eyes remain fixed on each other’s.
Jesse is naked, and he kicks away the shorts at his feet.
“Uh.” Jesse is naked.
Andrew’s eyes linger on Jesse’s face as he leans forward, causing Jesse to be pressed backwards slightly. Andrew fumbles for Jesse’s underwear on the bench behind and the eye contact is broken. Jesse is inches away from Andrew’s face; he can see the light grazing of stubble on Andrew’s chin and the small spots on his left cheek, the bumps near his sideburn due to shaving but the soft skin behind his cheekbone and on his neck (want) (bite) (no).
He moves back and stares at Jesse. “Here.” It comes out as a broken syllable and Jesse’s face turns crimson when he sees that Andrew is holding his underwear. Jesse reaches out of the towel he’s wrapped around and takes the underclothing from Andrew, who swallows visibly and Jesse watches the Adams apple bob up and down.
(naked!)
Jesse tears his eyes away from Andrew and bends down to step into his underwear. Andrew hands over Jesse’s pants and he puts those on too, so now Andrew releases the towel from around Jesse and they ignore each other as they pack up their bags.
It’s not until they’re outside the public pool, walking in the direction to Andrew’s house, that they both take a long breath and things return to normal.
“What are you thinking about?” Andrew asks.
Jesse smirks. “Nothing.”
“Really? How boring!”
And Andrew, predictably, throws his head back to laugh, and Jesse is mesmerized.
************
“You can sleep in my bed. I’ll sleep on the floor.” Andrew closes the door behind him. Jesse is lying on Andrew’s bed on his stomach with his head buried in Andrew’s many pillows.
“Andrew that’s really not necessary. This is your bed.” Jesse spreads his arms out as if to demonstrate.
Andrew shakes his head though. “Seriously Jess, you’re my guest, be a pal and accept my offer?”
Jesse laughs and says fine.
“Ah, forgot a comforter for the futon. I’ll be right back.”
Jesse smiles lazily. He’s so tired. When they’d arrived, they’d dumped their bags in Andrew’s room, but Andrew had been told he had to rake the leaves again, so they’d messed around outside - Andrew raking the leaves and Jesse kicking at the piles. Jesse had felt bad though after a while, so he’d grabbed a spare rake and helped.
Once that was done they’d made their way inside and tried to help make dinner, but Andrew’s uncle kept whacking at them with the spatula so they escaped to the front room and folded into the leather couches. Jesse brought over a DVD of the film version of CATS and made Andrew watch it. Andrew watched it because Jesse wanted him to, but it was obvious he was kind of bored, until the Rum Tum Tugger’s dance popped up - John Partridge dancing around on stage in jet black lycra. For most of that performance Jesse watched Andrew, whose eyes were glued to the screen, so to speak, and did not utter a single word until afterwards - “Wow.”
After dinner they raced back upstairs with the intention to do some homework. They managed for half an hour perhaps, until Andrew started whining about economic theory that didn’t make sense and so they ended up discussing the changing nature of human activity and how that affected the economic models Andrew had to learn about.
Though once 9 o’ clock arrived, all thoughts of school was abandoned, and Andrew had dragged a futon to his room and they’d lied around, texting and listening to music. Kristen wondered how Jesse was and Carey was having trouble with her relationship with Marcus said Andrew, so he spent an hour or so talking to Carey on the phone whilst Jesse began rereading Crime and Punishment. He snuck away to the bathroom to change into some old pyjamas at one point and when he came back, he noted that Andrew had also changed into some faded pants and shirt.
Andrew revealed an old laptop of his, and put on episodes of Doctor Who, to show Jesse when he’d asked about Matt’s birthday present from Kristen.
Come 2 o’clock, Jesse was yawning and Andrew switched off the laptop.
Now he’d jumped out to find a comforter for himself.
Jesse yawns and presses his face into Andrew’s pillows and is hit with a waft of distinctive Andrew smell. He inhales again without understanding what he’s doing and hums happily.
“Jess?”
Jesse turns his head to see Andrew throw a comforter down on the futon and close the door behind him. He turns off the ceiling lights after switching on a desk lamp and Jesse observes the lines around Andrew go from defined to fuzzy and orange.
“Hi.”
(he’s so beautiful)
Jesse sits up and leans against the pillows when Andrew plonks himself down at the other end of the bed. He smiles shyly at Jesse, so Jesse smiles back and suddenly Andrew lunges forward and exclaims, “You’ve got dimples!”
He pinches at Jesse’s cheeks and Jesse tries to bat him away.
“How have you not noticed all this time?”
Andrew stops and giggles at Jesse’s bemused expression. Jesse rubs at his cheeks and Andrew says, “Here, let me do that for you.”
Jesse narrows his eyes slightly when Andrew’s hand replaces Jesse’s on his cheeks.
(his hand)
(long fingers -)
Jesse huffs and pulls away from Andrew, who has the audacity to actually pout when Jesse does so.
“You’re weird.” Jesse ducks his head.
“Yeah, but that’s why we’re friends.” Andrew says calmly.
Something in his tone makes Jesse look up. Andrew is gazing at him through half-lidded eyes and there is the pull of a cheeky smile at his lips.
“What?”
“Do you like anyone?”
Oh no.
(oh no)
Jesse frowns at Andrew. “Why?”
Andrew shrugs and looks down at his lap. “We’ve been friends for a small while now and I trust you and I don’t know. I wanted to know.”
Jesse looks down at his lap too. “Kristen asked me the same question a while back before I met you. She asked because she liked Rob and kind of wanted to ‘ease’ into the conversation topic, if you get what I mean. Is that why you’re doing it too? Because I’ll happily listen about whatever girl has got your heart doing somersaults without me needing to talk about my non-existent love life.”
(the boy at the swim centre)
(the boy)
(andrew)
(andrew)
Andrew looks uncomfortable and flinches when Jesse says girl and Jesse notices. He notices but doesn’t amend his words because
(it’s easier this way)
he doesn’t understand why. Perhaps Andrew suddenly felt cold, or something.
“So you don’t like anyone?” Andrew tries.
“I don’t know.”
(he doesn’t know)
(don’t know)
(i don’t know)
Andrew raises his eyebrows but waits.
“Uh.”
(yes?)
Andrew sighs and rubs his eyes.
(hands)
(long fingers -)
Jesse swallows audibly and Andrew looks at him through his fingers, curious.
(long fingers wrapped around -)
Jesse fidgets.
(long fingers wrapped around jesse’s cock)
“I.”
Andrew lowers his hands and shuffles closer to Jesse. His gaze flickers down to Jesse’s lips then back up to Jesse’s eyes.
(no)
“Um.”
Andrew’s eyes do it again.
(yes)
Jesse whimpers.
(recognition)
Andrew’s head starts moving closer to Jesse’s. He whispers, “What are you thinking about?”
And Jesse is finding it hard to breathe; he’s quivering and suddenly the room is 20 degrees hotter. He chokes out, “Nothing.”
(come in closer)
(closer)
(closer)
(closer)
(closer)
Andrew’s face is getting closer (closer) (closer) (closer) and Jesse feels Andrew’s breath on his face when Andrew stutters out, “Really?” Andrew rests his forehead against Jesse’s. “How.” He closes his eyes. Jesse can’t breathe. “Boring.”
And then Andrew’s lips are being pressed against his and Jesse closes his eyes. He can’t breathe.
(can’t breathe)
There are lips against his lips.
(can’t breathe)
It’s soft.
(can’t breathe)
Jesse hasn’t kissed anyone before.
(can’t)
Andrew pushes harder against Jesse and then there’s a hand in Jesse’s curls and it’s Andrew’s, it’s Andrew’s.
(andrew’s hand)
And Jesse can feel Andrew’s fingers tugging at his hair.
(long fingers wrapped around jesse’s cock)
Jesse attacks Andrew with his mouth. He doesn’t know what he’s doing at all or why, but
(it’s easier this way)
(no, confront it)
(no)
he kisses back with vigour and he feels Andrew’s other hand wrap around his neck. Jesse pulls at Andrew’s hair and Andrew whimpers into Jesse’s lips and his dick is definitely interested now. Then Jesse feels Andrew’s tongue being forced into Jesse’s mouth and this is where it gets sloppy, because Jesse forces his tongue into Andrew’s mouth and Andrew is moaning and he slips the hand that was around Jesse’s neck underneath Jesse’s t-shirt and
(closer)
(come in closer)
(CLOSER)
Jesse wrenches one of his hands out from its tight hold on Andrew’s scruffy hair and paws at his shirt until he can feel Andrew’s skin
(his body)
underneath his hand and he’s clawing at Andrew’s chest until he ends up pushing Andrew down
(closer)
and writhes on top of him. Andrew’s lips are raw and wet and Jesse
(don’t think)
shifts his hips and Andrew twitches underneath him, tightening his hold on Jesse’s curls until he’s pulling and it’s painful but Jesse relishes it. He pants into Andrew’s mouth and starts grinding down frantically
(don’t think)
to get some friction and he can feel his erection pushing into Andrew’s groin
(no, his erection)
(erection)
and Jesse can’t breathe so he pulls away from Andrew’s lips and Andrew’s eyes are closed but he groans when Jesse sucks at the soft skin behind Andrew’s cheekbones and then Andrew presses his body up into Jesse’s
(closer)
and Jesse bites at Andrew’s neck, kissing and sucking like he can’t think
(he can’t think)
and Andrew is trembling beneath him.
Jesse keeps grinding his erection into Andrew. He shoves Andrew’s shirt up to reveal his chest and with Andrew’s help manages to get his own t-shirt up too and then Jesse slams himself down into Andrew, causing Andrew to gasp loudly.
(skin)
Jesse feverishly licks at Andrew’s mouth and rubs his chest against Andrew’s, and he can feel his erection getting hotter and
(orgasm?)
(orgasm building?)
is Andrew crying because he can feel tears on his face but they don’t stop
(can’t stop)
(can’t think)
because Jesse can’t stop pushing Andrew deeper and deeper into the mattress and Andrew is scratching at his exposed back and then his hand reaches into Jesse’s pants and Jesse feels him grope at his ass
(with those long fingers)
(with that hand)
(because jesse has something to feel up)
and Jesse groans loudly and thrusts hard onto Andrew and he hears Andrew come and Andrew pushes up into Jesse and squeezes Jesse’s ass harshly and Jesse comes in his pants and bites Andrew’s lip and
(oh)
Andrew is trembling.
They gape at each other.
part v
Word count: 5000
Author's notes: YAY THEIR FIRST KISS. OR SOMETHING. And again, lj is being annoying and spacing is stupid. ENJOY. ALSO WHAT IS AIR LOL JESSE IS SO SEXUALLY STARVED. okay. ENJOY.
Oh and by the way, title and soundtrack for this chapter and REASON I STARTED WRITING THIS FIC is from Blue October's Come in Closer (GO LISTEN BECAUSE IT'S AMAZING AND I IMAGINE IF THIS WAS A MOVIE, WHICH IT ISN'T, BUT IF IT WAS THIS MUSIC WOULD PLAY IN THE BACKGROUND WHEN JESSE AND ANDREW FIRST KISS)
At AO3
So they become friends. Jesse is shy, at first. His friendship with Andrew is…different to his other friendships. Comparing Andrew to JT isn’t even possible. When he’s with JT, alone, they talk, sure, they get along. They look out for each other, the way they’ve been doing for all of their adolescence, but their interests are entirely separate and Jesse sometimes finds it’s hard to keep up with JT.
Kristen is Jesse’s best friend, and they’re friends…just because they are. Jesse doesn’t know how he’d not be best friends with Kristen, he can’t even remember what it was like. Probably really lonely and dull. And of course there’s the rest of the group. Jesse loves them all, yeah. They’re his friends, why wouldn’t he?
Andrew, though. Jesse is shy at first because Andrew has a tendency to become overwhelming. He’s always throwing an arm around Jesse, or touching his waist and he’s also taken to pinching his cheeks the way Emma does, and now whenever Emma’s with Andrew, Jesse has to be extra wary because there’s every chance they’ll pinch both his cheeks, at the same time, and then laugh over it, leaving Jesse to grumble and rub at the red splotches left behind.
Every single time, however, when Andrew gets Jesse alone, he’ll pat Jesse’s cheeks and apologize, and Jesse will point out that he does this every time, and Andrew will laugh and promise to continue doing it anyway because Jesse is so cute and he couldn’t resist even if he tried.
Andrew will ruffle Jesse’s hair and rub his shoulder and sometimes, sometimes, if he catches Jesse itching his face or arm or wherever, Andrew will try to join in, or ‘help’, as he says, and generally succeeds unless Emma bats him away.
Andrew is unlike any of Jesse’s other friends, nor like anyone he has ever met before and he’s okay with that and he thinks Andrew is okay with him too.
The months pass. Applications for universities have started.
Some students were opting to take on a full load of advanced classes, but others are taking the more minimalist approach. Jesse took what classes he needed to, worked as much as he had to, and otherwise spent time doing personal reading and research, or hanging out with friends.
Jesse sometimes (usually) goes to Andrew’s place after swimming now, which means Hallie Kate is going to Carina’s more often as well -not that she’s complaining.
During the lessons, Jesse will watch Andrew and Andrew will always catch Jesse watching him; he’ll grin and wave and make a big fuss from the water (always a grin, always with teeth), which is definitely embarrassing. Sophia finds it adorable and invites Jesse and Andrew over with Hallie Kate and Carina, but they decline, usually. Jesse prefers Andrew’s room, where it’s private and they can talk about whatever they like. Well, Andrew generally does the talking and Jesse sits and listens - Andrew on the bed, Jesse in the desk chair - but sometimes Jesse will feel like talking and those are the days Andrew rests his chin in his hands and gazes at Jesse like he’s saying the most magnificent things. And Jesse isn’t really. He could be talking about his opinion on the gum underneath the chair that he accidentally touched once and Andrew would nod and furrow his brow as if he’s deep in thought, when he really shouldn’t be, not about gum underneath a chair, anyway.
Jesse (pretends he) doesn’t know why Andrew appears so enraptured with him. He asked, once, (“Why do you always dote on me?”) and Andrew just shrugged his shoulders and said, “You’re like no one I’ve ever met before. That’s all.” Jesse had to settle with that because (he tells himself) that’s the reason he’s apparently so enraptured with Andrew too.
More and more he’d been spending time with Andrew. Andrew is in none of his classes, but they’d find each other at lunch time - generally in the cafeteria with everyone else - however sometimes they’d sit out on bench, near the kids playing ball, and Andrew would put his arm around Jesse’s shoulder and Jesse would feel
(at home)
quite content to sit in the wind to just be alone with Andrew.
Jesse could already feel his senior year changing him and his friends.
Mid-November, just before Thanksgiving, Armie asked Elizabeth out and they became a pair. Jesse had heard that Matt and Karen Gillan were becoming friendly and yeah, Marcus and Carey were dating. Turns out they’d been long distancing and so now that they went to the same school, they’d spend absolutely every single waking second that they could together.
Emma finally admitted her feelings and stopped chasing after Andrew, finally accepting JT’s perhaps 15th attempt to ask her out. Though of course, JT’s attempts ranged from a cryptic note left in her locker that she didn’t even understand to a drunken phone call, so it wasn’t until he sucked it up and bought her a bouquet of daffodils, turned up on her doorstep and sang the words “Emma Stone, I’m all alone, these flowers remind me of you, because they’re vibrant and gorgeous too, my name is JT, and to my heart you hold the key, please go out with me.” that she accepted.
From inside, her brothers had clapped, apparently, and absolutely insisted that she say yes. She did, and JT has stopped drawing dicks since.
Kristen spends a lot of time with Rob now, but it’s okay.
In English class, sometime in the last week before winter break, Kristen frowned and had pulled Jesse aside and asked about Andrew. He wasn’t pushing Jesse into a friendship was he, was he too affectionate, would he like Kristen to talk to him, would he like Rob to talk to him? and Jesse had become discomfited; he didn’t like Kristen drawing attention to their friendship, as if it was any different from any other friendships
(it was)
(it is)
and no, Andrew was just fine. When Jesse said this, Kristen had smiled oh so radiantly and Jesse was confused to the change. Kristen said that she just wanted to make sure Jesse was comfortable, but otherwise, was overjoyed he’d made such a good friend. She felt bad that she’d been spending so much time with Rob, so was happy Jesse had someone else to occupy his time with. Then he’d pointed out that he was occupying most of his time with schoolwork and she’d laughed and hugged him, whispering, “You’ll always be my best friend, Jesse. You know you can tell me anything, yeah?”
Jesse had agreed but told her there was nothing to tell at that moment.
She’d gazed at him with a knowing smile on her lips, but said nothing.
For now, Jesse was contented. He was looking forward to winter break and to a new year. He had his old friends, who were discovering love and that was nice for them, and he had a new (best, definitely best) friend who he was still learning more about, and that was nice too.
Somehow it had happened, Jesse had become friends with a stranger, and it was working out just fine.
Jesse watched Andrew swimming and they hung out. If Jesse stole off to the boys change-room during these swim lessons, fidgeting, more often than he used to, well, no one ever said anything and Jesse didn’t think about it.
************
“Can you swim, Jess?” Andrew asks as they walk home from the last swimming lesson before Thanksgiving. The days are getting colder, and they walk close together.
“No. I can’t.”
“What, not even paddling?”
Jesse sighs. “No, I can’t swim, at all. Well, I’m sure I could keep afloat, but I don’t know how to freestyle or whatever.”
Bad idea. Bad idea because Andrew’s face breaks into a scarily huge smile and he exclaims, “I can teach you then!”
That’s how, one spare afternoon during Thanksgiving holiday, Jesse finds himself at the public pool, the one with the outdoor heating, wearing nothing but (long) swim shorts, looking at Andrew sceptically who’s already in the water in his
(tight black short)
swim briefs. Jesse is cold and he tells this to Andrew.
“You wouldn’t be cold if you were in the water. Come in, Jess!”
They’re not at the lap pool, but at the general activity pool, which is basically empty, except for a few mothers splashing around with small children in the infant area. It’s not exactly warm weather anymore, so Andrew had convinced Jesse to come with him on the premise that it’s Thanksgiving and no one is going to be at the pool anyway on a Thursday afternoon. You can come to my house afterwards, and sleep over, if you like.
Andrew holds out his arms and hands to Jesse as if he was one of the small children, who needed promising and reassuring. Jesse stares down at him with a frown, as he wraps his arms around his chest and rubs, shivering.
“I’m not a child.”
“Never mind, it’s warm in here, come, Jess, come to me. Nothing bad will happen, I promise, I’ve got you, I promise…” Andrew murmurs and Jesse really doesn’t think this is a good idea, but he’s come this far so he might as well.
(tight black spandex)
Without saying anything, he sits down on the ledge and kicks his legs in the water. It is quite warm and Jesse is tempted to just throw himself in, but Andrew murmurs encouraging words, like ‘good’, ‘there we go’, ‘easy does it’, and wads up to Jesse to take his hands. Jesse remains silent
(can’t speak)
and so lets Andrew gingerly pull him into the pool without a sound. His knees wobble but Andrew wraps his arm around Jesse’s torso and props him up against the wall.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
Jesse nods and breathes heavily. “I’m not a child, Andrew.”
(wet)
Andrew smiles down at him and he’s so close
(too close)
(close)
because his body is right there and Jesse is pressed up against the wall.
Except Andrew just laughs and pinches a cheek, saying “But you are as cute as one! Now, walk to me…” And Andrew takes a few steps back and puts his arms out again, as if Jesse is in actuality learning to walk or something. Jesse shakes his head and takes a few tentative steps forward, but really, this is the shallow end of the pool and he knows how to walk, even if it’s through chest-high water.
“Andrew, I know how to walk through water, it’s the swimming I can’t do.”
So Andrew laughs again (charming) and says, “Okay, well, let’s try something.” He grabs Jesse’s right hand and starts pulling him through towards the deep end of the pool. “No, wait, I don’t think this is a good idea. Stop. Andrew.” Andrew doesn’t, and Jesse starts to panic. “Andrew, please.”They stop, and Jesse is treading water now. “I can’t feel the bottom of the pool, Andrew, please, take me back, I can’t -“ He’s breathing heavily and closes his eyes, legs kicking furiously to keep himself afloat. So he can do this, but it doesn’t mean he likes feeling like he’s going to drown unless he flails madly.
Andrew wraps his arms around Jesse in a hug and murmurs in his ear. “Shhh, you’re safe. It’s okay. I’m here.” But Jesse can’t, he can’t feel safe, no, his little sister might be able to tread water happily but he can’t, he can’t, no no no no -
Suddenly he feels that’s he’s kicking at air and he’s on his back. What. He’s floating on his back. He opens his eyes and he’s floating, Andrew next to him as he keeps a steady hand on Jesse’s back and another hand on Jesse’s shoulder.
Andrew smiles. “See?”
Jesse closes his eyes again and lets himself float, knowing Andrew is there to
(keep him safe)
steady him.
There is something peculiar about floating. You feel light, transient; your ears are sort of half in, half out of the water and sounds are muffled, but the smell of chlorine wafts into your nostrils and air breezes tickle your face. They’re outside, so Jesse’s front side soon becomes cold whilst his backside remains warm, especially at the point of contact between Jesse’s back and Andrew’s hand. Here it feels hot.
A gust of air blows over Jesse and he shivers despite himself. His face goes red when he realizes his penis has started to perk up and he begins to fidget. Andrew doesn’t realize though, it seems, and starts to move Jesse through the water, back to the shallow end.
Jesse opens his eyes as Andrew allows his legs to gently drop back into the pool until he’s upright again. Andrew smiles at him, the one where the sides of his eyes crinkle and his cheeks lift but it’s without teeth.
(beautiful)
“That wasn’t so bad.” Jesse says, silently willing his penis to stay down.
“Yeah.” Andrew agrees. He looks at Jesse and then suddenly he’s splashing water at Jesse’s face, giggling and making a ruckus, so Jesse retaliates, turning his head away from Andrew as he splashes water back at him. Jesse continues this until he realizes Andrew has ducked underneath the water. He looks at the place where Andrew was and then feels something grab his legs and pull him under. He yelps and flails, resisting the urge to kick because he knows it’s Andrew, clearly, and he doesn’t want to accidentally whack Andrew in the head with his feet. He resurfaces just as quickly as he was pulled under. Jesse gasps for breath and glares at Andrew, who’s thrown his head back in laughter, his chest heaving.
“That wasn’t funny.” Jesse tries to say angrily, but it’s half-hearted and Andrew’s laughter is infectious, even if it’s directed at him.
Jesse bets he knows what he looks like - a half-drowned rat or something. Jesse’s curls would be matted, his cheeks red and splotchy. He feels embarrassed and puts his hands to his face.
Andrew stops and looks at Jesse, the chuckles dying down. Andrew reaches over and pulls Jesse’s hands away.
Jesse looks at Andrew.
Water drips into Andrew’s eyes from his hair.
Jesse feels an urge to reach up, but Andrew is still holding his hands.
They stare at each other, silently.
(it’s not what they say)
(it’s what they don’t say)
(it’s in his actions)
Jesse edges closer to Andrew and he swears his heart rate is quickening; he pretends he can hear Andrew’s heart, beating right out of that glistening wet torso of his, golden, slick, naked. Andrew’s face is getting closer and Jesse can see right into his brown irises, the depths of his eyes seem abysmal, bottomless, they’re wide and look
(scared)
(vulnerable)
(SCARED)
scared. Andrew’s fingers fold into Jesse’s and -
“Roger don’t you dare!” And then a splash and soon fresh water drips down into their faces.
The trance is broken and Jesse pulls back; he splutters and wipes at his face. Andrew coughs, saying hoarsely, “Do you want to go home now?” He’s looking everywhere but at Jesse.
Andrew coughs again to clear his throat and pushes himself out of the water. “Anyway, I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll get our stuff from the lockers and meet you in the change-room, okay?” When Jesse pants out an all right Andrew dashes off. He’s pulling at his swim briefs and hurrying very awkwardly away.
Jesse watches him go, feeling befuddled.
************Andrew is in a corner of the change-room. Jesse pads up slowly to him but Andrew turns around and for a second looks startled, but he regains his composure and smiles hesitantly at Jesse.
The corners of Jesse’s mouth twitch upwards in response; Andrew’s smiles are hard to not return.
(beautiful)
They’re both still in swimwear. Andrew stands before Jesse and shuffles his feet a bit before he raises his head and says, “Well, let’s get changed then, yeah?” To which Jesse nods. Instinctively he looks around for a toilet stall, but there are none. There are no toilet stalls in the change-room. There are no toilet stalls in the -
“Jess, your clothes are here.” Andrew has separated their clothes and pushed them over. Jesse nods his head and starts sorting through them. His very comfortable grey sweat pants, his faded blue t-shirt, his black socks, his sneakers, his white underwear.
Oh. Andrew would have seen that.
Oh.
Jesse snatches a glance right, to see Andrew patting at his chest with a towel, like that first time Jesse hung out with him after swimming, when Jesse got
(he got)
(when Jesse got)
(a)
(it was)
(a)
(he)
(he got an erection from watching)
to go to Andrew’s house for the first time.
He keeps his eyes trained on his pile of clothing because Andrew is whistling and pulling his swim briefs down and for a glorious moment Andrew is naked, Jesse knows that Andrew is naked but he doesn’t look.
(terrified)
He doesn’t look (it’s just a dick) and he doesn’t look (lean thighs) and he doesn’t look (nothing to feel up) and he doesn’t look (he’s beautiful) and he studies his fingernails (doesn’t look) and clears his throat (doesn’t look) and feels pasty in comparison to Andrew’s (golden golden golden golden golden golden) body.
“All right, Jess?”
“Ah, yeah.”
Andrew is dressed now and Jesse feels stupid. “I’m not dressed.”
“I can see that.” And there is amusement in Andrew’s voice. (beautiful)
But Jesse doesn’t know what to do. What does he do? How will he get dressed? There are no toilet stalls and Jesse is still in his swim shorts.
Andrew apparently senses Jesse’s dilemma, because he grabs one of Jesse’s large towels. It’s larger than usual, probably. Jesse prefers it when he can wrap himself almost completely in the towel, as opposed to something he can only cover his lower half in.
Jesse pulls on his t-shirt, but is left looking down at his feet, and at his very bare legs and swim shorts.
“Here.” Andrew faces Jesse and wraps the towel around him, leaving only Jesse’s lower shins sticking out. Jesse looks up at Andrew with a quizzical expression.
“What…?”
“Come on! Get dressed. I’m itching to get back home. You’re sleeping over tonight, yeah?”
Jesse was still contemplating it actually, but says yes anyway.
“Well then, get dressed. Don’t worry, I’m holding the towel for you.”
So this is what Hallie Kate must feel like.
He glances down again at his lower half, then looks up at Andrew, who gives an encouraging nod and flaps the towel around a bit as if to say hurry up.
And if you asked him, he would not be able to tell you where in his nervous little body he found the valour, but Jesse starts to inch his shorts down, past his hips, pulling it past his ass and it slides down his thighs until it falls to the ground. It pools around Jesse’s feet.
Jesse is basically naked.
(jesse is naked)
Andrew does not look away from Jesse’s face. Their eyes remain fixed on each other’s.
Jesse is naked, and he kicks away the shorts at his feet.
“Uh.” Jesse is naked.
Andrew’s eyes linger on Jesse’s face as he leans forward, causing Jesse to be pressed backwards slightly. Andrew fumbles for Jesse’s underwear on the bench behind and the eye contact is broken. Jesse is inches away from Andrew’s face; he can see the light grazing of stubble on Andrew’s chin and the small spots on his left cheek, the bumps near his sideburn due to shaving but the soft skin behind his cheekbone and on his neck (want) (bite) (no).
He moves back and stares at Jesse. “Here.” It comes out as a broken syllable and Jesse’s face turns crimson when he sees that Andrew is holding his underwear. Jesse reaches out of the towel he’s wrapped around and takes the underclothing from Andrew, who swallows visibly and Jesse watches the Adams apple bob up and down.
(naked!)
Jesse tears his eyes away from Andrew and bends down to step into his underwear. Andrew hands over Jesse’s pants and he puts those on too, so now Andrew releases the towel from around Jesse and they ignore each other as they pack up their bags.
It’s not until they’re outside the public pool, walking in the direction to Andrew’s house, that they both take a long breath and things return to normal.
“What are you thinking about?” Andrew asks.
Jesse smirks. “Nothing.”
“Really? How boring!”
And Andrew, predictably, throws his head back to laugh, and Jesse is mesmerized.
************
“You can sleep in my bed. I’ll sleep on the floor.” Andrew closes the door behind him. Jesse is lying on Andrew’s bed on his stomach with his head buried in Andrew’s many pillows.
“Andrew that’s really not necessary. This is your bed.” Jesse spreads his arms out as if to demonstrate.
Andrew shakes his head though. “Seriously Jess, you’re my guest, be a pal and accept my offer?”
Jesse laughs and says fine.
“Ah, forgot a comforter for the futon. I’ll be right back.”
Jesse smiles lazily. He’s so tired. When they’d arrived, they’d dumped their bags in Andrew’s room, but Andrew had been told he had to rake the leaves again, so they’d messed around outside - Andrew raking the leaves and Jesse kicking at the piles. Jesse had felt bad though after a while, so he’d grabbed a spare rake and helped.
Once that was done they’d made their way inside and tried to help make dinner, but Andrew’s uncle kept whacking at them with the spatula so they escaped to the front room and folded into the leather couches. Jesse brought over a DVD of the film version of CATS and made Andrew watch it. Andrew watched it because Jesse wanted him to, but it was obvious he was kind of bored, until the Rum Tum Tugger’s dance popped up - John Partridge dancing around on stage in jet black lycra. For most of that performance Jesse watched Andrew, whose eyes were glued to the screen, so to speak, and did not utter a single word until afterwards - “Wow.”
After dinner they raced back upstairs with the intention to do some homework. They managed for half an hour perhaps, until Andrew started whining about economic theory that didn’t make sense and so they ended up discussing the changing nature of human activity and how that affected the economic models Andrew had to learn about.
Though once 9 o’ clock arrived, all thoughts of school was abandoned, and Andrew had dragged a futon to his room and they’d lied around, texting and listening to music. Kristen wondered how Jesse was and Carey was having trouble with her relationship with Marcus said Andrew, so he spent an hour or so talking to Carey on the phone whilst Jesse began rereading Crime and Punishment. He snuck away to the bathroom to change into some old pyjamas at one point and when he came back, he noted that Andrew had also changed into some faded pants and shirt.
Andrew revealed an old laptop of his, and put on episodes of Doctor Who, to show Jesse when he’d asked about Matt’s birthday present from Kristen.
Come 2 o’clock, Jesse was yawning and Andrew switched off the laptop.
Now he’d jumped out to find a comforter for himself.
Jesse yawns and presses his face into Andrew’s pillows and is hit with a waft of distinctive Andrew smell. He inhales again without understanding what he’s doing and hums happily.
“Jess?”
Jesse turns his head to see Andrew throw a comforter down on the futon and close the door behind him. He turns off the ceiling lights after switching on a desk lamp and Jesse observes the lines around Andrew go from defined to fuzzy and orange.
“Hi.”
(he’s so beautiful)
Jesse sits up and leans against the pillows when Andrew plonks himself down at the other end of the bed. He smiles shyly at Jesse, so Jesse smiles back and suddenly Andrew lunges forward and exclaims, “You’ve got dimples!”
He pinches at Jesse’s cheeks and Jesse tries to bat him away.
“How have you not noticed all this time?”
Andrew stops and giggles at Jesse’s bemused expression. Jesse rubs at his cheeks and Andrew says, “Here, let me do that for you.”
Jesse narrows his eyes slightly when Andrew’s hand replaces Jesse’s on his cheeks.
(his hand)
(long fingers -)
Jesse huffs and pulls away from Andrew, who has the audacity to actually pout when Jesse does so.
“You’re weird.” Jesse ducks his head.
“Yeah, but that’s why we’re friends.” Andrew says calmly.
Something in his tone makes Jesse look up. Andrew is gazing at him through half-lidded eyes and there is the pull of a cheeky smile at his lips.
“What?”
“Do you like anyone?”
Oh no.
(oh no)
Jesse frowns at Andrew. “Why?”
Andrew shrugs and looks down at his lap. “We’ve been friends for a small while now and I trust you and I don’t know. I wanted to know.”
Jesse looks down at his lap too. “Kristen asked me the same question a while back before I met you. She asked because she liked Rob and kind of wanted to ‘ease’ into the conversation topic, if you get what I mean. Is that why you’re doing it too? Because I’ll happily listen about whatever girl has got your heart doing somersaults without me needing to talk about my non-existent love life.”
(the boy at the swim centre)
(the boy)
(andrew)
(andrew)
Andrew looks uncomfortable and flinches when Jesse says girl and Jesse notices. He notices but doesn’t amend his words because
(it’s easier this way)
he doesn’t understand why. Perhaps Andrew suddenly felt cold, or something.
“So you don’t like anyone?” Andrew tries.
“I don’t know.”
(he doesn’t know)
(don’t know)
(i don’t know)
Andrew raises his eyebrows but waits.
“Uh.”
(yes?)
Andrew sighs and rubs his eyes.
(hands)
(long fingers -)
Jesse swallows audibly and Andrew looks at him through his fingers, curious.
(long fingers wrapped around -)
Jesse fidgets.
(long fingers wrapped around jesse’s cock)
“I.”
Andrew lowers his hands and shuffles closer to Jesse. His gaze flickers down to Jesse’s lips then back up to Jesse’s eyes.
(no)
“Um.”
Andrew’s eyes do it again.
(yes)
Jesse whimpers.
(recognition)
Andrew’s head starts moving closer to Jesse’s. He whispers, “What are you thinking about?”
And Jesse is finding it hard to breathe; he’s quivering and suddenly the room is 20 degrees hotter. He chokes out, “Nothing.”
(come in closer)
(closer)
(closer)
(closer)
(closer)
Andrew’s face is getting closer (closer) (closer) (closer) and Jesse feels Andrew’s breath on his face when Andrew stutters out, “Really?” Andrew rests his forehead against Jesse’s. “How.” He closes his eyes. Jesse can’t breathe. “Boring.”
And then Andrew’s lips are being pressed against his and Jesse closes his eyes. He can’t breathe.
(can’t breathe)
There are lips against his lips.
(can’t breathe)
It’s soft.
(can’t breathe)
Jesse hasn’t kissed anyone before.
(can’t)
Andrew pushes harder against Jesse and then there’s a hand in Jesse’s curls and it’s Andrew’s, it’s Andrew’s.
(andrew’s hand)
And Jesse can feel Andrew’s fingers tugging at his hair.
(long fingers wrapped around jesse’s cock)
Jesse attacks Andrew with his mouth. He doesn’t know what he’s doing at all or why, but
(it’s easier this way)
(no, confront it)
(no)
he kisses back with vigour and he feels Andrew’s other hand wrap around his neck. Jesse pulls at Andrew’s hair and Andrew whimpers into Jesse’s lips and his dick is definitely interested now. Then Jesse feels Andrew’s tongue being forced into Jesse’s mouth and this is where it gets sloppy, because Jesse forces his tongue into Andrew’s mouth and Andrew is moaning and he slips the hand that was around Jesse’s neck underneath Jesse’s t-shirt and
(closer)
(come in closer)
(CLOSER)
Jesse wrenches one of his hands out from its tight hold on Andrew’s scruffy hair and paws at his shirt until he can feel Andrew’s skin
(his body)
underneath his hand and he’s clawing at Andrew’s chest until he ends up pushing Andrew down
(closer)
and writhes on top of him. Andrew’s lips are raw and wet and Jesse
(don’t think)
shifts his hips and Andrew twitches underneath him, tightening his hold on Jesse’s curls until he’s pulling and it’s painful but Jesse relishes it. He pants into Andrew’s mouth and starts grinding down frantically
(don’t think)
to get some friction and he can feel his erection pushing into Andrew’s groin
(no, his erection)
(erection)
and Jesse can’t breathe so he pulls away from Andrew’s lips and Andrew’s eyes are closed but he groans when Jesse sucks at the soft skin behind Andrew’s cheekbones and then Andrew presses his body up into Jesse’s
(closer)
and Jesse bites at Andrew’s neck, kissing and sucking like he can’t think
(he can’t think)
and Andrew is trembling beneath him.
Jesse keeps grinding his erection into Andrew. He shoves Andrew’s shirt up to reveal his chest and with Andrew’s help manages to get his own t-shirt up too and then Jesse slams himself down into Andrew, causing Andrew to gasp loudly.
(skin)
Jesse feverishly licks at Andrew’s mouth and rubs his chest against Andrew’s, and he can feel his erection getting hotter and
(orgasm?)
(orgasm building?)
is Andrew crying because he can feel tears on his face but they don’t stop
(can’t stop)
(can’t think)
because Jesse can’t stop pushing Andrew deeper and deeper into the mattress and Andrew is scratching at his exposed back and then his hand reaches into Jesse’s pants and Jesse feels him grope at his ass
(with those long fingers)
(with that hand)
(because jesse has something to feel up)
and Jesse groans loudly and thrusts hard onto Andrew and he hears Andrew come and Andrew pushes up into Jesse and squeezes Jesse’s ass harshly and Jesse comes in his pants and bites Andrew’s lip and
(oh)
Andrew is trembling.
They gape at each other.
part v