fic: come in closer (i want you to) [5/?]
Chapter: v: run! - entertainment for the braindead/it is nice to know you, i'm glad that we've met
Word count: 7100
Author's notes: HELLO EVERYONE. I WANT TO HUG EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. THANK-YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS, I READ THEM ALL AND I WANT TO REPLY TO ALL OF THEM BUT I'M OVERWHELMED WITH LOVE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D SAY EXCEPT THANK-YOU, I'M GLAD THAT YOU'RE ENJOYING SO FAR, *FLAILS* *HUGS* *MAKES LOVE TO*
and by the way, I mention a real porn site in this chapter, you know, fleetingly, but just warning you, if you feel you should be warned about it, or something
Soundtrack for this chapter: run! - entertainment for the braindead
At AO3
Jesse is panting and he is on top of Andrew. They are gaping at each other and Jesse can feel Andrew’s chest under his, and his heartbeat hammering against Jesse’s. Andrew’s eyes flutter close then open and his eyelashes momentarily stun Jesse. In the glow of the desk lamp Jesse can just make them out against Andrew’s face; they’re so long and dark and and and lovely (want) (feel) so Jesse lowers his head back down to Andrew’s to gently kiss his eyes -
Andrew’s fingers brush against the curve of Jesse’s ass and Jesse jolts. He shifts in position slightly and that’s when he feels his come squishing around in his underwear and on his dick and even on his stomach and holy shit.
(holy shit)
(oh fuck)
Jesse springs up off the bed and Andrew is staring at him
(like that time at Matt’s 18th)
(when this happened before)
(no)
like a deer caught in the headlights
(again)
and the light emitted from the desk lamp makes Andrew look soft
(again!)
and Jesse shakes and wants to lie back down with Andrew and touch him in all his secret places
(no)
(yes)
but there is come dripping down his leg
(again)
and Jesse’s ass is half exposed.
“Jess -“
Jesse runs into Andrew’s bathroom, pulling up his pants, but closes the door quietly out of habit. He locks it and stands in the dark, letting the blackness drape him and fit into him
(what was he doing!)
(can’t)
(can’t have)
(can’t)
until, until, it’s too, dark, too dark, too…oh no, where’s the light switch.
(alone!)
(what was he doing!)
(black) He starts scrabbling at the walls but can’t find the light switch. Why can’t he find it? It should be right - on - the - wall - where - is - it?! Jesse takes large gulps of air but it feels like the darkness is closing in on him and the oxygen is disappearing and wouldn’t it be embarrassing if he fainted in Andrew’s bathroom, come in his underwear, in the middle of the night?
(gasping for breath)
(panic)
“Jesse.”
(gasping)
“Jesse, please unlock the door.”
Huh?
“Jess, please. It’s dark.” Andrew’s voice is beseeching.
Jesse can’t see the lock, but he fumbles at the knob and there’s a click and suddenly the door opens and there’s light and oh, there’s Andrew.
Jesse is shaking and he stumbles forward
(shallow breaths)
into Andrew’s arms. Andrew wraps his long limbs
(long limbs)
(arms)
(legs)
(his place)
(no)
around Jesse and bows his head into Jesse’s curls and begins rubbing Jesse’s back. He rocks back and forth as he holds onto Jesse and it’s leaving…his veins…the blackness…
“Shhhh…I’ve got you…Jesse…”
(what was he doing)
Jesse tries to pull away but Andrew clutches at him like he can’t let go.
“I’m sorry, Jess, I’m so sorry, please…”
(deeper breaths)
(it’s not your fault andrew)
(it’s not a fault)
(no)
(can’t)
(what’s his place)
Jesse slowly wraps his arms around Andrew’s torso and tightens his hold, like he did outside the house, that time…
“I’m sorry…” Andrew quietly sobs into Jesse’s hair and Jesse just wants it to stop, wants to go back to normal
(wants andrew)
and he wants to sleep.
Jesse takes a long, shuddering, breath and feels his heartbeat slow and that’s good. That’s good.
“Please, I’m sorry, I want you, Jesse…”
(i want you too)
“…to still be my friend…I’m sorry…”
(oh, yeah, that as well…)
Jesse remains silent because he doesn’t know what to say, or do, except there’s come in his underwear and it’s drying on his skin and that’s insanely uncomfortable.
“There’s come in my pants.” Jesse mutters and Andrew laughs softly through his tears. He sniffles as he lifts his head and Jesse wonders if there’s snot in his hair.
“Did you get snot in my hair? Because if you did, Andrew, that’s gross.”
(come in pants)
(andrew has come in his pants too)
(no)
Andrew laughs again, a little sadder, and pulls completely away from Jesse, rubs at his face
(long fingers -)
(no)
and looks at Jesse through his tear-stained eyes. Jesse can see that his eyelashes are wet and he wants to reach out and touch them, and kiss away the tears that are still falling -
(no!)
(yes)
(kiss)
- but he doesn’t.
The desk lamp makes the lines around Andrew fuzzy and orange and he looks
(beautiful)
sad and Jesse can’t stand it.
(but he does)
(ignore)
(it’s easier this way)
Andrew wipes at his face roughly and Jesse has no clue what he’s feeling or doing but he starts to walk around Andrew’s bed to the set of drawers Andrew’s aunt had recently purchased because Andrew had brought over too many clothes. He pulls out each drawer until he finds the underwear and socks.
“What are you doing?”
Jesse pulls out some grey briefs and he finds some black underwear that is most like his own, and then closes the drawer. He faces Andrew who is shuffling in his place and generally looking very upset with himself.
Jesse chucks the grey briefs at Andrew and then begins to move into the bathroom but Andrew grabs him and says no!
But Jesse is not getting changed in front of Andrew, no, freaking, way. He tries to shake out of Andrew’s grasp, however Andrew merely narrows his eyes and turns the bathroom light on, before letting go and turning away from Jesse. Jesse closes the door, but doesn’t lock it, and quickly pulls his pants down and removes the underwear, which is dripping with his come. He tries not to cringe, and stares at it.
(andrew)
What is he going to do with it? He settles with throwing it into the obligatory pile of clothes of questionable cleanliness that the bathroom always seems to have.
Jesse wets a towel and wipes at his stomach and groin, chucks the towel in the pile, then puts on Andrew’s underwear, which is a little loose on him and steps into his pants. They’re dry enough. He steps back out into Andrew’s bedroom, turning off the bathroom light as he does so.
(wearing andrew’s underwear)
(no)
(don’t think)
Andrew is sitting on the edge of his bed with his head drooping onto his chest.
Jesse stares at him until he looks up.
“Hi.” Andrew’s face is still wet and his smile is hesitant.
“What?”
(it’s easier this way)
Andrew’s face falls.
(andrew’s underwear)
(no)
(can’t resist andrew’s smile)
(no)
“Hey, Andrew, it’s like, 3AM or something. I’m tired.”
Jesse is tired. Everything is more intense in the early hours. Everything is heightened and things don’t make sense. His body is exhausted.
(because they -)
(no)
(but there is still sweat clinging to jesse’s body)
Andrew nods his head slowly and stands up.
“Sleep in your bed?”
“No, you’re my guest…” Andrew falls onto the futon and mumbles the light…
Jesse looks down at Andrew’s curled up figure and blinks, once, twice, before turning off the desk lamp and groping his way to the bed, where he drops into it unceremoniously. He manages to get beneath the covers and stares up at where the ceiling would be, if he could see it. He feels the blackness circle him but he pushes away at it. Andrew is breathing steadily.
“Goodnight, Jess.” Andrew’s voice is quiet and broken.
Jesse turns onto his stomach and nudges over to the side of the bed, where he lets his arm hang down. He feels around until he is patting at something solid; it shifts underneath his fingertips and Jesse whispers, “Give me your hand.”
There is some shuffling about but Jesse feels fingers tentatively find his. He strokes them for a few seconds, then intertwines them with his own.
“Goodnight, Andrew.” Jesse breathes softly.
(let yourself have this)
(it’s okay)
(no)
(yes)
Jesse thinks about the way Andrew’s fingers felt on his ass.
(no)
(ignore)
Eventually, when they both nod off, their grip slackens and Jesse ends up clasping only Andrew’s palm loosely in his, but he doesn’t let go.
He doesn’t let go.
(it’s okay)
************
Jesse wakes before Andrew, around 10AM Friday morning. He flexes his fingers and Andrew’s hand falls out of his. Oh.
Jesse leans over the bed and sees Andrew on his back, on top of the covers, the hand that clasped Jesse’s now resting on his stomach whereas the other is flung behind him. Light trickles through the cracks in the curtains and create small rays of vibrancy on Andrew in the otherwise faded colours of the room; beams of light splay across Andrew’s face, another over his old shirt and then a few across his bare feet. Jesse looks back at Andrew’s face; where the light touches, it is golden. He looks majestic and peaceful. His stomach expands and lowers with his gentle breathing, head turned towards Jesse’s gaze slightly and mouth closed. His fluffy hair is messed up and his neck looks powerful.
(beautiful)
His eyes open and oh. His eyes.
Andrew squints because the sunlight is filtering right into his eyes. Groaning, he rolls onto his side to face the bed. The light fractures and dances around him as he moves and then Andrew glances up. He makes eye contact with Jesse.
A timid smile.
(andrew’s eyelashes)
(skin)
(his lips)
(the kiss)
(the KISS)
Jesse’s lips twitch up into a returning smile involuntarily.
(all the KISSES)
Andrew’s smile widens and he laughs quietly and looks away from Jesse.
(the tears)
(andrew’s tears)
Jesse reaches down and takes Andrew’s hand in his. Andrew glances back and watches Jesse as he raises Andrew’s hand to his lips and kisses the knuckles.
(what?)
Andrew whimpers.
(oh)
There’s a discreet knock at the door. Jesse quickly releases Andrew’s hand and sits up. The door opens and Andrew’s uncle appears in the room.
“Good morning boys! Glad you scouts are up. I’ve made, or I’m making waffles, so toddle down when you’re ready!” He winks at them then backs out of the room.
Andrew groans but Jesse laughs. “Is your uncle always this cheerful?”
“Yeah, and embarrassing! They both love to embarrass me.” Andrew hides his face in his hands and Jesse wants to reach out
(hold him)
(kiss him)
(love him)
(no!)
(NO)
but he doesn’t.
Then there’s a dangerous moment when Andrew smiles at Jesse slyly through his fingers like he knows (he knows) and makes to say something but Jesse cannot (doesn’t want to) deal with this right now or admit anything so he blurts out “My mouth tastes like crap. Gonna go brush my teeth.”
He hurries into the bathroom then realizes he didn’t actually bring a toothbrush with him. Great. He stares at himself in the mirror and consequently sees Andrew striding in behind him.
“What’s up, Jess?” Andrew pauses next to him at the bench with the sink.
“I don’t have a toothbrush.” Jesse grunts. Defeated.
Andrew throws his head back and laughs
(adams apple)
(neck)
and bumps Jesse away from the bench, bending down to open the drawers. He takes out a brand new toothbrush, still in its packet.
“Aunty went a bit insane, buying me toiletries and stuff. I mean, why would I need toiletries anyway? She managed to come home with too many towels and face products! I also have an extra toothbrush, if you want it.” Andrew explains, offering the packet to Jesse.
Jesse takes it and examines it. Yeah, he could use this. He looks up at Andrew. “Did she buy you hair product too? Cause you seem to delight in using those.” He casts a hand out to point at the various bottles and Andrew’s face reddens.
“Um, yeah, you know, I experiment.” He shuffles and then says, “You can keep that toothbrush here. Like, you can use it when you come over again, you know, in the future?”
Jesse blinks. “Sure.”
Andrew nods and they both brush their teeth.
Once they finish, Andrew mumbles, “Jesse…”
(no)
(ignore)
But Jesse pretends to not hear him. “Hey, I think that’s your uncle singing, and I am starving, come on.”
Jesse barges out of the bathroom. Andrew sighs and is left to follow Jesse down to the kitchen.
(it’s easier this way)
************
“Yes, yes, yes Dad. Okay. I’m going to shower though. I’ll come help afterwards, okay?”
Friday afternoon. The extended family are all invited over for Thanksgiving dinner and his parents, mainly his mom, are freaking out, so Jesse and even Hallie Kate have to help prepare the house - Jesse is not looking forward to it. The only thing he’s vaguely excited about is the fact that Kerri’s coming home for the weekend.
Jesse grabs clothes and clean underwear from his room before scuttling over to the bathroom upstairs. He strips himself of his shirt and pants before pulling off his underwear -
wait.
Jesse stares at the jocks in his hand. They’re black. And do not look like his normal underwear. They’re. They’re.
Oh.
They’re.
(andrew’s)
Andrew’s.
They’re Andrew’s because he soiled his own when he was at Andrew’s house before.
(because)
(they were)
(what were they doing?)
(oh god)
Jesse shakes his head to try and clear himself of the thought and drops the jocks into his pile of dirty clothes. He steps into the shower and stands underneath the water for a few moments before beginning to wash his hair. As he rubs the shampoo through his curls he thinks about the way Andrew’s fingers felt in his hair.
(no!)
He shakes his head. Wonder when Kerri’s going to get here? It’d be helpful if she was around to calm their parents down. Extended family isn’t that much of a big deal, it’s just annoying because Jesse will have to talk to them all and tell them how much he’s enjoying life and looking forward to college. He washes out the shampoo thoughtfully. Yeah, even Hallie Kate hates it when all the family gather because they aww and coo at her like she’s a baby, even though she’s eight years old and isn’t really a baby anymore. Well, she sort of is.
Jesse pours conditioner onto his head and some slops down onto his stomach and groin. Oh. He looks at it. It looks like
(come)
(no!)
(yeah)
come. Jesse massages the conditioner into his hair and stares at where it’s dripping down off his body. Oh. Oh.
Jesse gulps.
Anyway, he hasn’t seen Kerri in ages, not since summer. It’s been a…
(andrew’s face)
while. Ahem. A while, yes. And she’ll want to know about, his, friends, and…
(andrew)
how Kristen is and JT is and if JT still -
(his whimpers)
- likes to sing and dance and -
(the way his eyelashes flutter)
- he should invite -
(andrew)
(the sound he made)
- them. Over. To. See. Her.
(the sound he made when he -)
He lets the water wash away the conditioner in his hair and gets the body wash and starts rubbing it onto himself.
Yeah, the sound he made when he came. He came in his pants like, Jesse, did -
Jesse grabs his erection and starts fisting it slowly. Andrew groaned and he whimpered and he pushed up into Jesse and his bare chest…
He pulls at his dick and closes his eyes. The friction when Jesse grinded, yeah, he grinded into Andrew and Andrew had an erection from kissing Jesse, and oh god, those lips.
Jesse remembers Andrew’s lips and he starts thrusting forward into his hand, pretending it’s Andrew’s, Andrew’s…
(those lips)
lips around Jesse’s cock - yeah, Andrew would kneel in front of Jesse and look up at Jesse with those eyes and Jesse would tangle his fingers in Andrew’s hair and …he would…yeah, face fuck him, cause that’s what it’s called, and Andrew would take it and Andrew would love it and Andrew would whimper and beg and groan like he did when Jesse was on top of him and Jesse would put his dick into Andrew’s mouth and Andrew would love it and Jesse, Jesse, he, those lips - Jesse was grinding into Andrew furiously and Andrew wanted him, he wanted Jesse to continue because he didn’t say no, he didn’t say stop and neither did Jesse because -
(wants andrew)
(likes andrew)
(no!)
(yes)
(admit it)
(no)
(help)
- it felt so good and Andrew makes him feel so good and so happy and Andrew is beautiful -
Jesse fists faster and harder, because that’s what happens, in porn, it’s harder, faster, please, harder, Andrew faster, more, more
(stay with me)
(be with me)
(no)
and please more. Jesse grunts. Andrew would get Jesse’s whole cock into his mouth because Andrew is amazing and can do anything and everything and he’s so much better than Jesse and Jesse
(can’t have him)
(like that)
(doesn’t deserve)
will face fuck him and Andrew’s lips will be red and wet and messy and they’ll stretch around and -
Jesse bites into his own lips and snaps his hips forward and come is spurting onto the glass wall of the shower. Jesse’s thrusts falter and he opens his eyes, panting and muttering holy shit under his breath. He looks at his hand, which is splattered in come, until the water washes it away.
“Oh shit.”
Jesse madly wipes at the glass and no no no it’s just getting smeared across. He cups his hands and collects some water to throw at the smear and - okay, yes, it’s going away. Okay. Okay.
Jesse bends over, putting his hands on his upper thighs, and takes a couple of long breaths, eyeing his limp penis. He shakes his head and finishes cleaning himself off before turning the shower off and stepping back out to dry himself and get changed.
(ignore)
He gathers his dirty clothes in his arms and makes a dash for his room, because he can hear Kerri downstairs and his parents discussing the best way to set the table and should they move around the furniture?
Dumping the pile on his bed he composes himself and goes downstairs.
Sighing, he mutters to himself, “This oughta be fun…”
************
Kerri walks with Jesse up to his room.
The dinner was not a complete disaster, but that depends who you ask. If you asked his parents they’d probably joke and exclaim how wonderful it was to have everyone in the same house at the same time finally - so much conversation and laughter! Oh! It was splendid!
If you asked Jesse, he’d say it was one of those occasions which tend to be taxing on his health and sanity as an 18 year old boy who values his privacy.
He tells this to Kerri and she agrees, laughing.
It’s some time past 11PM. Hallie Kate has been asleep for hours now and the parents have retired to their room. Kerri is sleeping in her old bedroom, of course, but she insisted on accompanying Jesse to his room for a few minutes.
They enter the room and Jesse shoves off the pile of clothing he’d left on his bed when Kerri turns on the ceiling lights and closes the door. She turns around and leans against it as she sighs, smiling.
Jesse sits on his bed and smiles at her. “What?”
“Oh, nothing. It just feels like ages since we’ve seen each other.”
“Well, you did come home seven or so hours ago…”
She snorts and sits down next to him. “No, you dummy, it’s been ages since we’ve had some time alone, you know? I miss you little bro’.” Kerri leans on him, wrapping an arm around him and Jesse thinks it’s eerie.
(andrew)
He shrugs away the feeling and leans against his sister. He’ll never admit it, but yeah, sometimes he misses her too.
She smiles down at him. “I know you’re tired. We can hang out this weekend, okay? Invite Kristen and JT over, I haven’t seen them for too long.”
Jesse nods and pulls away from her. “How have you been, Kerri?”
“Yeah, good, you know? I’m great. College is fine. Which reminds me, you’ll be there soon next year, won’t you?”
He bobs his head and looks at his lap. “Yup.”
“Decided what you want to do?”
“Not really.”
“That’s okay. I changed majors like, three times or something.”
“Yeah.”
They sit in silence for a moment.
Jesse’s tired and Kerri seems to notice.
She stands up.
“Oh, yeah, and tell me, who’s Andrew?”
Jesse freezes. (andrew) (andrew) (sweet andrew)
(the boy from the swim centre)
(the boy with the amazing smile)
(amazing laugh)
(amazing body)
(hair)
(eyes)
(lips)
(beautiful)
(want)
(need)
(can have?)
(no)
“How do you know him?”
Kerri laughs quietly. “Mom told me about the ‘new best friend’ that you made. I want to meet him, too. Invite him over this weekend, okay?”
(okay)
Jesse nods and says, “By the way, don’t know if Mom told you, but JT and Emma are finally dating.”
Kerri grins and nods her head and repeats, “Finally!” She turns to go then hangs back at the door. “Good to see you, little brother. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?”
Jesse nods again and stands up to start getting ready for bed.
Kerri has paused though, and she mutters. “Really missed you, Jesse. I’ll be around during Hanukkah and New Years as well, and you know, you can call me if you ever want.”
Before Jesse can ask why the sudden sentiment, she whispers goodnight and leaves, shutting the door quietly behind her. Even Kerri remembers what it’s like to wake up Hallie Kate - not pretty.
Jesse sighs and starts sorting through the pile of clothes he’d dumped to the ground. He puts them all in the laundry basket, except…
He stares at the black jocks momentarily before stuffing them into the laundry basket as well.
After brushing his teeth and changing into pyjamas, he lies in bed with his phone.
Andrew:
my older sister wants to meet you this weekend, wanna come over? night
Not bothering to wait for a response, he turns the phone off and chucks it onto a bedside table.
In that time before sleep takes over, but all conscious thinking has ended, Jesse’s mind wanders around the image of Andrew’s lips and the feeling of Andrew’s fingers, in Jesse’s hair.
************
December is coming to a close. School is off now and it’s nearly New Years. There’s some snow and Kerri has been home for the entire of Hanukkah. Kerri adored Andrew, because who wouldn’t?
Sometimes Jesse thinks about what happened at Andrew’s house, but then he stops. He stops because he doesn’t understand and because he’s scared, because he’s Jesse and Andrew is Andrew, because the world functions one way but Jesse thinks he functions another way, because Andrew is beautiful and Jesse doesn’t know how to admit feelings.
Sometimes Jesse thinks about Andrew and the way he cried, but then he stops thinking about it because he doesn’t know what to do.
(it’s easier this way)
************
Except one day...
Jesse is at Kristen’s house with everyone else plus Andrew and Rob. It’s just past 5PM and he should be getting home soon, but he can’t bring himself to get off the couch, where he is currently slouched between Kristen and Andrew.
Rob’s in the kitchen getting water, Emma and JT are cuddling on the other couch, whilst Armie and Joe are sitting on the floor in front of the television. Their heads are bent and they’re discussing something. Jesse catches fleeting words:
“…really nice...”
“…smiles at me like…”
Jesse tries to block out all the other conversation around him, including Andrew and Kristen’s one that they’re attempting to have with him, and attunes his ears to Armie and Joe’s exchange.
“…Armie I don’t know what I’m feeling…”
“…had a girlfriend back in freshman year…”
“…it’s okay, people change Joe…”
“…he’s really beautiful…”
“…I’m here for you man…”
Jesse’s eyes widen. Armie hugs Joe who looks upset and perplexed. What? Jesse is just about to get off the couch to ask what they were talking about when Rob returns from the kitchen and purposely trips so he falls on to the couch where Jesse is seated.
“Rob!” Kristen laughs as Rob pretends to flail about helplessly on their laps, with his head on Kristen’s and legs over Andrew’s. Andrew hoots and whacks at Rob’s ass and Jesse just scrunches his nose up. He looks down at where Rob’s body is squirming about over his groin and - oh.
No.
Rob starts wriggling upwards to try and sit next to Kristen and his body slides over where Jesse is slouched, over his groin, over his hardening penis. This is not good, Jesse’s isn’t wearing sweat pants for once, and these pants which will easily tent up and that’s -
Jesse tenses and swallows a groan as Andrew’s hand, in its pursuit of Rob’s backside, accidentally sweeps across Jesse’s crotch. In the commotion Rob has switched over onto his back and what, when did this suddenly become a let’s-tickle-Rob-session?
Because the other boys have noticed the unnecessary excited fuss over the fact that Rob is lying on top of him and his friends’ laps, and have come over and started tickling Rob, who is now frantically rolling about and Kristen is laughing and Andrew is laughing and Emma is shaking her head but laughing too and Jesse would be laughing, if it wasn’t for the fact that Rob’s ass is pressing into his crotch and his hardening penis!
Why did have to wear the new boxer shorts his mother had bought him? Why not his normal underwear?
Jesse shifts tactfully so Rob yells and ends up falling off the couch and now everyone is laughing even harder but Jesse’s dick is half-hard and yep, it’s tenting, it’s tenting, time to get out of here.
He stands up abruptly and exclaims, “I gotta go!”
He grabs his parka, which is hanging on the coat-rack at the front door, checks his phone is in his pocket, and turns around to wave quickly at his group of friends who are all huddled over Rob. The poor boy is now rolling around on the floor getting tickled and no one notices Jesse. He sucks in a breath. “Yep. Okay.”
He leaves, closing the door quietly behind him.
But he’s halfway out the gate when he hears, Jesse!
Jesse stops. It’s Andrew.
(it’s always andrew)
Andrew pads up to him on the gravel and puts a hand on his shoulder from behind. “What’s up? Where are you going?”
Jesse doesn’t turn around. He can’t turn around. “Gotta get home.”
“Jess?”
Jesse shrugs off Andrew’s hand and starts walking down the sidewalk to get home but Andrew is relentless.
(like that time -)
“Jess what’s up?”
Jesse shakes his head. “Nothing, Andrew, I just gotta get home.”
“Why? Jesse, look at me.” And Jesse isn’t expecting the hand on his shoulder, which swivels him around and - yep.
“Is it something - oh.” Andrew’s gaze freezes on Jesse’s tented pants. “Oh.” He says softly. Andrew’s eyes glance up at Jesse’s mortified expression then back down to his crotch. “Oh.” He says softer still.
(oh no)
(oh god)
“Um.” Jesse turns around and begins to run home. Andrew doesn’t seem to follow him and when Jesse finally turns out of Kristen’s street he slows to a jog, and then to a walk, because who is Jesse kidding, cycling and walking to places doesn’t make him fit enough to sustain a run.
(don’t think)
Jesse’s mind remains blank all the way until he gets into his room, thankfully he’s able to avoid any family members and nosy pedestrians. He locks the door and sinks to the floor, where he lies, grumbling at himself and at his dick.
What!?
Jesse groans and starts shaking his head side to side.
Andrew saw that.
He sits up on his elbows and glares at the tent in his pants. Why does he even have an erection?! Where are they coming from? Why in the past three or so months has he suddenly been getting erections so often? He’s always only gotten the odd erection here or there for no apparent reason, but now? He’s getting them nearly every week!
Jesse thinks. Yes. It’s undeniably in the last three or so months - ever since senior year started - that Jesse has noticed a definite increase in the number of erections he’s gotten and noticed! Sometimes maybe his dick will be half-hard but he doesn’t realize until he’s taking his underwear off or something, or he’s getting in the shower.
But full blown erections?! Erections that he has to jerk off to get rid of!? Ever since that time on his bed after seeing Andrew doing dolphin-kick -
Wait. What?
Yeah, that time after seeing Andrew do dolphin-kick, before he even knew who Andrew was, and then at the swim centre cause Andrew was getting changed, and then countless times after at the swim centre and he’d have to leave Sophia when she was mid-sentence because he’d feel his dick hardening and Lea was right next to him and that’d be so awkward, getting an erection in front of a two year old. Oh yeah, and then that time at the public pool when he was floating on his back…oh, and on Andrew’s bed (what!?) and then…in the shower that night before Thanksgiving dinner…
Jesse makes a sound somewhere between a squeak and a whimper. That night in the shower when he thought about…it was about…
(andrew!)
(lips)
(always andrew)
(ANDREW)
(no)
(YES)
Jesse scrambles up and shoves his pants and boxers down - won’t be wearing those again - and stares at his erection.
(andrew?)
He stares at it.
And stares at it.
And - Andrew? - stares at it.
He locks the door and then sits at his desk with his laptop. He opens up an incognito page on his internet browser. He looks down at the erection. It’s still there. He opens up Google.
Erection?
Still there.
He types ‘tube 8’ and presses enter. That’s the site JT likes to watch his porn on, isn’t it?
Beep!
Jesse jumps in his seat and okay, Google has loaded, okay, um, just going to check my phone, okay, it’s loaded, ah -
He finds the phone in his discarded pants
From Andrew:
What’s up Jess? Can I call you later?
Jesse hazards a reply.
Andrew:
yeh, later, after dinner
He then throws the phone onto his bed, where it bounces off and hits the ground. Jesse curses but turns back to his laptop. Okay. He clicks the website and ah. Okay. Naked people. Okay. Oh, god, women. Um.
Oh, yes, there’s three buttons in the upper right section. Straight. Gay. Shemale. Eh? Shemale? Jesse furrows his eyebrows. No. Ah, okay, video ads - wow, what, gross, that woman doesn’t look like she’s having fun. With a shaking hand, he moves the cursor to click on the ‘Gay’ section.
Jesse closes his eyes and tries to calm his erratic heartbeat. Beep! What? He stumbles over to the side of the bed where his phone fell to, and as he bends over is met face-to-face with his erection. Still there, then.
From Andrew:
Okay. Like 8? I’ll call at 8
Jesse swallows, chucks his phone down onto his bed again, where it doesn’t bounce off this time, then stumbles back over to the chair. It’s cold against his bare ass but - woah. Okay, no thanks. That video ad is not tasteful - why would anyone want to watch a big man shove his penis inside that man’s mouth when the man looks so scared and ???? Who would watch that?
He scours the categories. Twink? What’s twink? It looks better than ‘hardcore’. He clicks on that and checks - yep, erection is still there. Jesse puts a hand around it and it twitches.
The site loads. Jesse scrunches up his face and. Hm. Okay. Well, let’s maybe sort the videos by rating. He clicks on the first video, supposedly the best one. Twink. What’s twink? The video opens up and begins to play and okay that is really loud oh fuck.
He presses pause and sits, breathing heavily. Okay. Don’t think anyone’s home but…Jesse finds his headphones anyway and plugs them in. He looks down.
Erection?
Still there. Yep. Still there. Still hard as ever. Oh god.
He gulps, then presses play and watches. There are two young men lying on a couch. One’s spooning the other and they look like they’re asleep. Jesse scoffs. They’re not asleep, only pretending. I see, so that’s the premise of the video, he thinks. Jesse cocks his head. They’re quite cute actually they’re - oh. The one being the big spoon starts nipping at the little spoon’s ear and they start squirming. What are you doing? The little spoon grumbles. Goodmorning! The big spoon coos and, oh, that’s sweet. Jesse actually smiles to himself. What a nice video. And…oh. Okay. The big spoon starts pawing at the little spoon’s shirt and, well, that was fast, both their tops are getting thrown off. Both of the guys have nice chests, Jesse thinks. Not as nice as Andrew’s though.
(golden)
(toned)
(touch)
They start kissing with the big spoon lying on top of the little spoon and that’s like that time at Andrew’s when Andrew was underneath and he was on top and oh. Jesse starts to fist his dick, slowly. Is that what they’d have looked like? Except Andrew and Jesse were still wearing their tops. Sort of.
Jesse glances down to his erection. There’s pre-come dribbling out. He uses it to lubricate his penis and then an interesting sound made by one of the guys makes Jesse look back at the video - oh! Okay! They’re naked! Jesse has seen porn before, a little bit, not often, whatever, he’s still seen naked people and naked private areas but it still comes as a shock. Right, well, they’re both naked now, that’s…good. Jesse finds himself staring at the big spoon intently. His body is sort of like what Andrew’s would be like, if Andrew was naked
(like that time!)
(that time at the public pool)
(he was naked)
(jesse didn’t look)
(just a dick)
and was having sex with Jesse.
(WHAT!?)
Jesse freezes. What did he just think?
(but he’s indifferent to sex!)
(never cared for it!)
(andrew)
Jesse squeaks and so does the little spoon. Jesse looks at the screen. The little spoon - oh my god. Wow, okay, anus. Right. Oh GOD. The big spoon is licking at the little spoon’s anus. He’s licking it. He’s licking it. Is that hygienic? Did he wash before hand? Jesse vaguely remembers Armie explaining that all porn stars, before they do the porn, have to make sure they’re clean, so Jesse supposes that the little spoon did wash beforehand but still - oh what. You’re going to put your tongue inside it!?
Jesse frowns. That isn’t cool, he doesn’t like that, no, really, he doesn’t, except…the little spoon is moaning and the big spoon’s body looks like Andrew’s and the big spoon is kissing up the little spoon’s back now and (his lips) (andrew’s lips) that looks kind of…Jesse would like that.
More pre-come. Jesse absentmindedly swipes at it and lubricates his penis further.
The little spoon whispers something Jesse doesn’t catch - fingers?! You’re going to put your fingers in his anus? Well, Jesse supposes, that’s probably not as bad as tongue. And the big spoon did that before, so he’s probably cool with his fingers, too. The big spoon smiles. Wow, this video is kind of nice. Okay, so they’re doing very sexual things but - it’s not. It’s not. They’re being nice with each other.
The big spoon grabs something off-screen and it’s - it’s a tube. What? The man opens the tube and pours some gooey looking stuff onto his fingers. He puts the tube behind him on the arm of the couch - you’re going to knock that off buddy - and proceeds to stick a finger in the little spoon’s ass. Cool. Jesse didn’t even know you could do that. I mean, okay, clearly you can stick a finger in someone’s ass but people actually do that.
Jesse stops fisting his dick, too mesmerized to move his hand.
Eventually the big spoon has gotten two or three fingers in and then the little spoon moans and the big spoon takes his fingers out. Suddenly the big spoon’s dick is positioned at the base of the little spoon’s anus and wow. That’s a nice dick.
(it’s just a dick?)
(it’s a dick)
(but)
Wait. When has Jesse ever noticed a dick and thought that it’s nice? What is happening to him? His breathing begins to quicken and his blood feels hot. Is he having an attack or is it because he’s watching two men having sex?
The big spoon pauses though and feels behind him. Ah, told you you’d knock the tube off. The big spoon laughs
(his laugh)
(andrew’s laugh)
and Jesse can see the little spoon smile and this video is so sweet! Wait. What’s wrong with him? Since when? This is porn, it’s not sweet it’s -
The big spoon stretches over the side of the couch, out of view, but Jesse catches a nice view of the man’s ass.
(andew’s ass)
(nothing to feel up)
(lean)
(want)
WHAT!? Jesse circles his thoughts. Andrew’s ass. Jesse wants Andrew’s ass. He wants it? Well, yes, because it’s Andrew - the little spoon moans loudly and Jesse’s eyes are glued to where the big spoon is slowly, gently, pushing his dick inside the little spoon. What, without a condom? This isn’t like other porn he’s seen. This is lovely. Except - woah. Nice. The big spoon has pushed all the way in and is kissing at the back of the little spoon’s neck and that’d feel so good.
(what)
(what)
What.
(andrew feels good)
What.
Andrew feels good.
The big spoon starts thrusting, so slowly, so gently, Jesse can’t stand it. He wants to yell at the big spoon - you’re supposed to be rougher, harder, faster! This is too…this is too gentle! Jesse wonders if the men are actually boyfriends in real life because this sex looks so tender!
And oh, oh, ah, okay, wow. That sound. When the big spoon speeds up his balls slap against the little spoon’s ass and the sound is obscene. Okay.
He looks down at his erection, which looks harder, somehow. Okay. That’s interesting. Then the little spoon moans and Jesse remembers Andrew’s whimpers.
(his whimper)
(his lips)
(his moans)
Jesse tugs at his dick and closes his eyes, thinking about the way Andrew had felt underneath him, when he had writhed and twitched and moaned and whimpered and kissed Jesse. Oh my god, Jesse thinks. He basically dry humped Andrew and they came in their pants and Jesse has been ignoring that fact for this entire time and Jesse thinks about Andrew when he masturbates, which is more often now, because Jesse is getting erections more often now, and that’s because he met Andrew. And it’s all Andrew’s fault he’s getting erections and masturbating, but it’s also Andrew’s fault that Jesse actually orgasms and gets come everywhere. And Jesse has Andrew’s underwear briefs because Jesse came in his pants at Andrew’s house a month ago because Andrew was kissing Jesse.
Andrew was kissing Jesse!
(kiss)
(yes)
Jesse tightens his grasp on his dick and starts thrusting upwards. The big spoon is going faster now - that’s right - and the slapping against the ass is so loud and it’s in Jesse’s ears and the little spoon is moaning and what’s that? The little spoon says that feels so good and the big spoon says I love you. Well all right, so he didn’t know that you could do that in porn. Maybe these boys really are - oh.
The little spoon has turned over onto his back and the big spoon leans over him and Jesse can’t really see the little spoon anymore because the big spoon is arched over him
(like he wants andrew to be arched over him)
and his penis is still in the little spoon’s anus. It is in his anus. Or rectum? And the little spoon likes it. The big spoon is cradling the little spoon in his arms as he thrusts into him.
Jesse closes his eyes again and pumps into his fist, pretending that it’s Andrew who’s underneath him and he’s pounding into Andrew
(but maybe andrew could pound into him too?)
and Andrew is moaning and whimpering like he did when Jesse was at Andrew’s house, on his bed. But Jesse will be holding Andrew
(hold him)
(kiss him)
(love him!)
(no)
(yes)
(how?)
and his penis will be inside Andrew’s ass and it’ll be so tight and hot and good and Andrew and Andrew and Andrew and Jesse will be surrounded by Andrew and Andrew’s smile and his laugh and his eyelashes and his voice and his chest and his legs and feet and his arms and his eyes and his stomach and his ass and his hair and his breath and Andrew’s dick and Jesse likes him, Jesse wants him, Jesse wants Andrew to touch his cock -
The little spoon yells out and the big spoon groans and Jesse snaps his eyes open just in time to see the big spoon shudder and he’s kissing the little spoon on the face and then the little spoon cries I’m coming and Jesse remembers the sound that Andrew made when he came and Jesse is coming, just like the little spoon, onto his desk and laptop and hand and chair and on the floor and everywhere because Jesse is coming and Jesse is coming because he’s thinking about Andrew!
Jesse is spent. He cringes at the sight of his come decorating the vicinity around him. He goes to close the video except - it’s not over. The big spoon has slowed down and is pulling out and he sits up. The little spoon is lying on his back with a blissful smile on his face, and a pool of come on his stomach. The big spoon stands up and goes off-screen and returns with a towel and he wipes himself down, and then wipes the little spoon off and the little spoon cries that’s cold! And the big spoon laughs, looks straight at the camera, smiles and reaches towards Jesse. Then the screen goes black.
Okay.
So they can do that in porn?
Jesse stands up, closing the browser window and pulling out his headphones.
Oh, god, there’s come everywhere.
part vi
Word count: 7100
Author's notes: HELLO EVERYONE. I WANT TO HUG EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. THANK-YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS, I READ THEM ALL AND I WANT TO REPLY TO ALL OF THEM BUT I'M OVERWHELMED WITH LOVE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D SAY EXCEPT THANK-YOU, I'M GLAD THAT YOU'RE ENJOYING SO FAR, *FLAILS* *HUGS* *MAKES LOVE TO*
and by the way, I mention a real porn site in this chapter, you know, fleetingly, but just warning you, if you feel you should be warned about it, or something
Soundtrack for this chapter: run! - entertainment for the braindead
At AO3
Jesse is panting and he is on top of Andrew. They are gaping at each other and Jesse can feel Andrew’s chest under his, and his heartbeat hammering against Jesse’s. Andrew’s eyes flutter close then open and his eyelashes momentarily stun Jesse. In the glow of the desk lamp Jesse can just make them out against Andrew’s face; they’re so long and dark and and and lovely (want) (feel) so Jesse lowers his head back down to Andrew’s to gently kiss his eyes -
Andrew’s fingers brush against the curve of Jesse’s ass and Jesse jolts. He shifts in position slightly and that’s when he feels his come squishing around in his underwear and on his dick and even on his stomach and holy shit.
(holy shit)
(oh fuck)
Jesse springs up off the bed and Andrew is staring at him
(like that time at Matt’s 18th)
(when this happened before)
(no)
like a deer caught in the headlights
(again)
and the light emitted from the desk lamp makes Andrew look soft
(again!)
and Jesse shakes and wants to lie back down with Andrew and touch him in all his secret places
(no)
(yes)
but there is come dripping down his leg
(again)
and Jesse’s ass is half exposed.
“Jess -“
Jesse runs into Andrew’s bathroom, pulling up his pants, but closes the door quietly out of habit. He locks it and stands in the dark, letting the blackness drape him and fit into him
(what was he doing!)
(can’t)
(can’t have)
(can’t)
until, until, it’s too, dark, too dark, too…oh no, where’s the light switch.
(alone!)
(what was he doing!)
(black) He starts scrabbling at the walls but can’t find the light switch. Why can’t he find it? It should be right - on - the - wall - where - is - it?! Jesse takes large gulps of air but it feels like the darkness is closing in on him and the oxygen is disappearing and wouldn’t it be embarrassing if he fainted in Andrew’s bathroom, come in his underwear, in the middle of the night?
(gasping for breath)
(panic)
“Jesse.”
(gasping)
“Jesse, please unlock the door.”
Huh?
“Jess, please. It’s dark.” Andrew’s voice is beseeching.
Jesse can’t see the lock, but he fumbles at the knob and there’s a click and suddenly the door opens and there’s light and oh, there’s Andrew.
Jesse is shaking and he stumbles forward
(shallow breaths)
into Andrew’s arms. Andrew wraps his long limbs
(long limbs)
(arms)
(legs)
(his place)
(no)
around Jesse and bows his head into Jesse’s curls and begins rubbing Jesse’s back. He rocks back and forth as he holds onto Jesse and it’s leaving…his veins…the blackness…
“Shhhh…I’ve got you…Jesse…”
(what was he doing)
Jesse tries to pull away but Andrew clutches at him like he can’t let go.
“I’m sorry, Jess, I’m so sorry, please…”
(deeper breaths)
(it’s not your fault andrew)
(it’s not a fault)
(no)
(can’t)
(what’s his place)
Jesse slowly wraps his arms around Andrew’s torso and tightens his hold, like he did outside the house, that time…
“I’m sorry…” Andrew quietly sobs into Jesse’s hair and Jesse just wants it to stop, wants to go back to normal
(wants andrew)
and he wants to sleep.
Jesse takes a long, shuddering, breath and feels his heartbeat slow and that’s good. That’s good.
“Please, I’m sorry, I want you, Jesse…”
(i want you too)
“…to still be my friend…I’m sorry…”
(oh, yeah, that as well…)
Jesse remains silent because he doesn’t know what to say, or do, except there’s come in his underwear and it’s drying on his skin and that’s insanely uncomfortable.
“There’s come in my pants.” Jesse mutters and Andrew laughs softly through his tears. He sniffles as he lifts his head and Jesse wonders if there’s snot in his hair.
“Did you get snot in my hair? Because if you did, Andrew, that’s gross.”
(come in pants)
(andrew has come in his pants too)
(no)
Andrew laughs again, a little sadder, and pulls completely away from Jesse, rubs at his face
(long fingers -)
(no)
and looks at Jesse through his tear-stained eyes. Jesse can see that his eyelashes are wet and he wants to reach out and touch them, and kiss away the tears that are still falling -
(no!)
(yes)
(kiss)
- but he doesn’t.
The desk lamp makes the lines around Andrew fuzzy and orange and he looks
(beautiful)
sad and Jesse can’t stand it.
(but he does)
(ignore)
(it’s easier this way)
Andrew wipes at his face roughly and Jesse has no clue what he’s feeling or doing but he starts to walk around Andrew’s bed to the set of drawers Andrew’s aunt had recently purchased because Andrew had brought over too many clothes. He pulls out each drawer until he finds the underwear and socks.
“What are you doing?”
Jesse pulls out some grey briefs and he finds some black underwear that is most like his own, and then closes the drawer. He faces Andrew who is shuffling in his place and generally looking very upset with himself.
Jesse chucks the grey briefs at Andrew and then begins to move into the bathroom but Andrew grabs him and says no!
But Jesse is not getting changed in front of Andrew, no, freaking, way. He tries to shake out of Andrew’s grasp, however Andrew merely narrows his eyes and turns the bathroom light on, before letting go and turning away from Jesse. Jesse closes the door, but doesn’t lock it, and quickly pulls his pants down and removes the underwear, which is dripping with his come. He tries not to cringe, and stares at it.
(andrew)
What is he going to do with it? He settles with throwing it into the obligatory pile of clothes of questionable cleanliness that the bathroom always seems to have.
Jesse wets a towel and wipes at his stomach and groin, chucks the towel in the pile, then puts on Andrew’s underwear, which is a little loose on him and steps into his pants. They’re dry enough. He steps back out into Andrew’s bedroom, turning off the bathroom light as he does so.
(wearing andrew’s underwear)
(no)
(don’t think)
Andrew is sitting on the edge of his bed with his head drooping onto his chest.
Jesse stares at him until he looks up.
“Hi.” Andrew’s face is still wet and his smile is hesitant.
“What?”
(it’s easier this way)
Andrew’s face falls.
(andrew’s underwear)
(no)
(can’t resist andrew’s smile)
(no)
“Hey, Andrew, it’s like, 3AM or something. I’m tired.”
Jesse is tired. Everything is more intense in the early hours. Everything is heightened and things don’t make sense. His body is exhausted.
(because they -)
(no)
(but there is still sweat clinging to jesse’s body)
Andrew nods his head slowly and stands up.
“Sleep in your bed?”
“No, you’re my guest…” Andrew falls onto the futon and mumbles the light…
Jesse looks down at Andrew’s curled up figure and blinks, once, twice, before turning off the desk lamp and groping his way to the bed, where he drops into it unceremoniously. He manages to get beneath the covers and stares up at where the ceiling would be, if he could see it. He feels the blackness circle him but he pushes away at it. Andrew is breathing steadily.
“Goodnight, Jess.” Andrew’s voice is quiet and broken.
Jesse turns onto his stomach and nudges over to the side of the bed, where he lets his arm hang down. He feels around until he is patting at something solid; it shifts underneath his fingertips and Jesse whispers, “Give me your hand.”
There is some shuffling about but Jesse feels fingers tentatively find his. He strokes them for a few seconds, then intertwines them with his own.
“Goodnight, Andrew.” Jesse breathes softly.
(let yourself have this)
(it’s okay)
(no)
(yes)
Jesse thinks about the way Andrew’s fingers felt on his ass.
(no)
(ignore)
Eventually, when they both nod off, their grip slackens and Jesse ends up clasping only Andrew’s palm loosely in his, but he doesn’t let go.
He doesn’t let go.
(it’s okay)
************
Jesse wakes before Andrew, around 10AM Friday morning. He flexes his fingers and Andrew’s hand falls out of his. Oh.
Jesse leans over the bed and sees Andrew on his back, on top of the covers, the hand that clasped Jesse’s now resting on his stomach whereas the other is flung behind him. Light trickles through the cracks in the curtains and create small rays of vibrancy on Andrew in the otherwise faded colours of the room; beams of light splay across Andrew’s face, another over his old shirt and then a few across his bare feet. Jesse looks back at Andrew’s face; where the light touches, it is golden. He looks majestic and peaceful. His stomach expands and lowers with his gentle breathing, head turned towards Jesse’s gaze slightly and mouth closed. His fluffy hair is messed up and his neck looks powerful.
(beautiful)
His eyes open and oh. His eyes.
Andrew squints because the sunlight is filtering right into his eyes. Groaning, he rolls onto his side to face the bed. The light fractures and dances around him as he moves and then Andrew glances up. He makes eye contact with Jesse.
A timid smile.
(andrew’s eyelashes)
(skin)
(his lips)
(the kiss)
(the KISS)
Jesse’s lips twitch up into a returning smile involuntarily.
(all the KISSES)
Andrew’s smile widens and he laughs quietly and looks away from Jesse.
(the tears)
(andrew’s tears)
Jesse reaches down and takes Andrew’s hand in his. Andrew glances back and watches Jesse as he raises Andrew’s hand to his lips and kisses the knuckles.
(what?)
Andrew whimpers.
(oh)
There’s a discreet knock at the door. Jesse quickly releases Andrew’s hand and sits up. The door opens and Andrew’s uncle appears in the room.
“Good morning boys! Glad you scouts are up. I’ve made, or I’m making waffles, so toddle down when you’re ready!” He winks at them then backs out of the room.
Andrew groans but Jesse laughs. “Is your uncle always this cheerful?”
“Yeah, and embarrassing! They both love to embarrass me.” Andrew hides his face in his hands and Jesse wants to reach out
(hold him)
(kiss him)
(love him)
(no!)
(NO)
but he doesn’t.
Then there’s a dangerous moment when Andrew smiles at Jesse slyly through his fingers like he knows (he knows) and makes to say something but Jesse cannot (doesn’t want to) deal with this right now or admit anything so he blurts out “My mouth tastes like crap. Gonna go brush my teeth.”
He hurries into the bathroom then realizes he didn’t actually bring a toothbrush with him. Great. He stares at himself in the mirror and consequently sees Andrew striding in behind him.
“What’s up, Jess?” Andrew pauses next to him at the bench with the sink.
“I don’t have a toothbrush.” Jesse grunts. Defeated.
Andrew throws his head back and laughs
(adams apple)
(neck)
and bumps Jesse away from the bench, bending down to open the drawers. He takes out a brand new toothbrush, still in its packet.
“Aunty went a bit insane, buying me toiletries and stuff. I mean, why would I need toiletries anyway? She managed to come home with too many towels and face products! I also have an extra toothbrush, if you want it.” Andrew explains, offering the packet to Jesse.
Jesse takes it and examines it. Yeah, he could use this. He looks up at Andrew. “Did she buy you hair product too? Cause you seem to delight in using those.” He casts a hand out to point at the various bottles and Andrew’s face reddens.
“Um, yeah, you know, I experiment.” He shuffles and then says, “You can keep that toothbrush here. Like, you can use it when you come over again, you know, in the future?”
Jesse blinks. “Sure.”
Andrew nods and they both brush their teeth.
Once they finish, Andrew mumbles, “Jesse…”
(no)
(ignore)
But Jesse pretends to not hear him. “Hey, I think that’s your uncle singing, and I am starving, come on.”
Jesse barges out of the bathroom. Andrew sighs and is left to follow Jesse down to the kitchen.
(it’s easier this way)
************
“Yes, yes, yes Dad. Okay. I’m going to shower though. I’ll come help afterwards, okay?”
Friday afternoon. The extended family are all invited over for Thanksgiving dinner and his parents, mainly his mom, are freaking out, so Jesse and even Hallie Kate have to help prepare the house - Jesse is not looking forward to it. The only thing he’s vaguely excited about is the fact that Kerri’s coming home for the weekend.
Jesse grabs clothes and clean underwear from his room before scuttling over to the bathroom upstairs. He strips himself of his shirt and pants before pulling off his underwear -
wait.
Jesse stares at the jocks in his hand. They’re black. And do not look like his normal underwear. They’re. They’re.
Oh.
They’re.
(andrew’s)
Andrew’s.
They’re Andrew’s because he soiled his own when he was at Andrew’s house before.
(because)
(they were)
(what were they doing?)
(oh god)
Jesse shakes his head to try and clear himself of the thought and drops the jocks into his pile of dirty clothes. He steps into the shower and stands underneath the water for a few moments before beginning to wash his hair. As he rubs the shampoo through his curls he thinks about the way Andrew’s fingers felt in his hair.
(no!)
He shakes his head. Wonder when Kerri’s going to get here? It’d be helpful if she was around to calm their parents down. Extended family isn’t that much of a big deal, it’s just annoying because Jesse will have to talk to them all and tell them how much he’s enjoying life and looking forward to college. He washes out the shampoo thoughtfully. Yeah, even Hallie Kate hates it when all the family gather because they aww and coo at her like she’s a baby, even though she’s eight years old and isn’t really a baby anymore. Well, she sort of is.
Jesse pours conditioner onto his head and some slops down onto his stomach and groin. Oh. He looks at it. It looks like
(come)
(no!)
(yeah)
come. Jesse massages the conditioner into his hair and stares at where it’s dripping down off his body. Oh. Oh.
Jesse gulps.
Anyway, he hasn’t seen Kerri in ages, not since summer. It’s been a…
(andrew’s face)
while. Ahem. A while, yes. And she’ll want to know about, his, friends, and…
(andrew)
how Kristen is and JT is and if JT still -
(his whimpers)
- likes to sing and dance and -
(the way his eyelashes flutter)
- he should invite -
(andrew)
(the sound he made)
- them. Over. To. See. Her.
(the sound he made when he -)
He lets the water wash away the conditioner in his hair and gets the body wash and starts rubbing it onto himself.
Yeah, the sound he made when he came. He came in his pants like, Jesse, did -
Jesse grabs his erection and starts fisting it slowly. Andrew groaned and he whimpered and he pushed up into Jesse and his bare chest…
He pulls at his dick and closes his eyes. The friction when Jesse grinded, yeah, he grinded into Andrew and Andrew had an erection from kissing Jesse, and oh god, those lips.
Jesse remembers Andrew’s lips and he starts thrusting forward into his hand, pretending it’s Andrew’s, Andrew’s…
(those lips)
lips around Jesse’s cock - yeah, Andrew would kneel in front of Jesse and look up at Jesse with those eyes and Jesse would tangle his fingers in Andrew’s hair and …he would…yeah, face fuck him, cause that’s what it’s called, and Andrew would take it and Andrew would love it and Andrew would whimper and beg and groan like he did when Jesse was on top of him and Jesse would put his dick into Andrew’s mouth and Andrew would love it and Jesse, Jesse, he, those lips - Jesse was grinding into Andrew furiously and Andrew wanted him, he wanted Jesse to continue because he didn’t say no, he didn’t say stop and neither did Jesse because -
(wants andrew)
(likes andrew)
(no!)
(yes)
(admit it)
(no)
(help)
- it felt so good and Andrew makes him feel so good and so happy and Andrew is beautiful -
Jesse fists faster and harder, because that’s what happens, in porn, it’s harder, faster, please, harder, Andrew faster, more, more
(stay with me)
(be with me)
(no)
and please more. Jesse grunts. Andrew would get Jesse’s whole cock into his mouth because Andrew is amazing and can do anything and everything and he’s so much better than Jesse and Jesse
(can’t have him)
(like that)
(doesn’t deserve)
will face fuck him and Andrew’s lips will be red and wet and messy and they’ll stretch around and -
Jesse bites into his own lips and snaps his hips forward and come is spurting onto the glass wall of the shower. Jesse’s thrusts falter and he opens his eyes, panting and muttering holy shit under his breath. He looks at his hand, which is splattered in come, until the water washes it away.
“Oh shit.”
Jesse madly wipes at the glass and no no no it’s just getting smeared across. He cups his hands and collects some water to throw at the smear and - okay, yes, it’s going away. Okay. Okay.
Jesse bends over, putting his hands on his upper thighs, and takes a couple of long breaths, eyeing his limp penis. He shakes his head and finishes cleaning himself off before turning the shower off and stepping back out to dry himself and get changed.
(ignore)
He gathers his dirty clothes in his arms and makes a dash for his room, because he can hear Kerri downstairs and his parents discussing the best way to set the table and should they move around the furniture?
Dumping the pile on his bed he composes himself and goes downstairs.
Sighing, he mutters to himself, “This oughta be fun…”
************
Kerri walks with Jesse up to his room.
The dinner was not a complete disaster, but that depends who you ask. If you asked his parents they’d probably joke and exclaim how wonderful it was to have everyone in the same house at the same time finally - so much conversation and laughter! Oh! It was splendid!
If you asked Jesse, he’d say it was one of those occasions which tend to be taxing on his health and sanity as an 18 year old boy who values his privacy.
He tells this to Kerri and she agrees, laughing.
It’s some time past 11PM. Hallie Kate has been asleep for hours now and the parents have retired to their room. Kerri is sleeping in her old bedroom, of course, but she insisted on accompanying Jesse to his room for a few minutes.
They enter the room and Jesse shoves off the pile of clothing he’d left on his bed when Kerri turns on the ceiling lights and closes the door. She turns around and leans against it as she sighs, smiling.
Jesse sits on his bed and smiles at her. “What?”
“Oh, nothing. It just feels like ages since we’ve seen each other.”
“Well, you did come home seven or so hours ago…”
She snorts and sits down next to him. “No, you dummy, it’s been ages since we’ve had some time alone, you know? I miss you little bro’.” Kerri leans on him, wrapping an arm around him and Jesse thinks it’s eerie.
(andrew)
He shrugs away the feeling and leans against his sister. He’ll never admit it, but yeah, sometimes he misses her too.
She smiles down at him. “I know you’re tired. We can hang out this weekend, okay? Invite Kristen and JT over, I haven’t seen them for too long.”
Jesse nods and pulls away from her. “How have you been, Kerri?”
“Yeah, good, you know? I’m great. College is fine. Which reminds me, you’ll be there soon next year, won’t you?”
He bobs his head and looks at his lap. “Yup.”
“Decided what you want to do?”
“Not really.”
“That’s okay. I changed majors like, three times or something.”
“Yeah.”
They sit in silence for a moment.
Jesse’s tired and Kerri seems to notice.
She stands up.
“Oh, yeah, and tell me, who’s Andrew?”
Jesse freezes. (andrew) (andrew) (sweet andrew)
(the boy from the swim centre)
(the boy with the amazing smile)
(amazing laugh)
(amazing body)
(hair)
(eyes)
(lips)
(beautiful)
(want)
(need)
(can have?)
(no)
“How do you know him?”
Kerri laughs quietly. “Mom told me about the ‘new best friend’ that you made. I want to meet him, too. Invite him over this weekend, okay?”
(okay)
Jesse nods and says, “By the way, don’t know if Mom told you, but JT and Emma are finally dating.”
Kerri grins and nods her head and repeats, “Finally!” She turns to go then hangs back at the door. “Good to see you, little brother. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?”
Jesse nods again and stands up to start getting ready for bed.
Kerri has paused though, and she mutters. “Really missed you, Jesse. I’ll be around during Hanukkah and New Years as well, and you know, you can call me if you ever want.”
Before Jesse can ask why the sudden sentiment, she whispers goodnight and leaves, shutting the door quietly behind her. Even Kerri remembers what it’s like to wake up Hallie Kate - not pretty.
Jesse sighs and starts sorting through the pile of clothes he’d dumped to the ground. He puts them all in the laundry basket, except…
He stares at the black jocks momentarily before stuffing them into the laundry basket as well.
After brushing his teeth and changing into pyjamas, he lies in bed with his phone.
Andrew:
my older sister wants to meet you this weekend, wanna come over? night
Not bothering to wait for a response, he turns the phone off and chucks it onto a bedside table.
In that time before sleep takes over, but all conscious thinking has ended, Jesse’s mind wanders around the image of Andrew’s lips and the feeling of Andrew’s fingers, in Jesse’s hair.
************
December is coming to a close. School is off now and it’s nearly New Years. There’s some snow and Kerri has been home for the entire of Hanukkah. Kerri adored Andrew, because who wouldn’t?
Sometimes Jesse thinks about what happened at Andrew’s house, but then he stops. He stops because he doesn’t understand and because he’s scared, because he’s Jesse and Andrew is Andrew, because the world functions one way but Jesse thinks he functions another way, because Andrew is beautiful and Jesse doesn’t know how to admit feelings.
Sometimes Jesse thinks about Andrew and the way he cried, but then he stops thinking about it because he doesn’t know what to do.
(it’s easier this way)
************
Except one day...
Jesse is at Kristen’s house with everyone else plus Andrew and Rob. It’s just past 5PM and he should be getting home soon, but he can’t bring himself to get off the couch, where he is currently slouched between Kristen and Andrew.
Rob’s in the kitchen getting water, Emma and JT are cuddling on the other couch, whilst Armie and Joe are sitting on the floor in front of the television. Their heads are bent and they’re discussing something. Jesse catches fleeting words:
“…really nice...”
“…smiles at me like…”
Jesse tries to block out all the other conversation around him, including Andrew and Kristen’s one that they’re attempting to have with him, and attunes his ears to Armie and Joe’s exchange.
“…Armie I don’t know what I’m feeling…”
“…had a girlfriend back in freshman year…”
“…it’s okay, people change Joe…”
“…he’s really beautiful…”
“…I’m here for you man…”
Jesse’s eyes widen. Armie hugs Joe who looks upset and perplexed. What? Jesse is just about to get off the couch to ask what they were talking about when Rob returns from the kitchen and purposely trips so he falls on to the couch where Jesse is seated.
“Rob!” Kristen laughs as Rob pretends to flail about helplessly on their laps, with his head on Kristen’s and legs over Andrew’s. Andrew hoots and whacks at Rob’s ass and Jesse just scrunches his nose up. He looks down at where Rob’s body is squirming about over his groin and - oh.
No.
Rob starts wriggling upwards to try and sit next to Kristen and his body slides over where Jesse is slouched, over his groin, over his hardening penis. This is not good, Jesse’s isn’t wearing sweat pants for once, and these pants which will easily tent up and that’s -
Jesse tenses and swallows a groan as Andrew’s hand, in its pursuit of Rob’s backside, accidentally sweeps across Jesse’s crotch. In the commotion Rob has switched over onto his back and what, when did this suddenly become a let’s-tickle-Rob-session?
Because the other boys have noticed the unnecessary excited fuss over the fact that Rob is lying on top of him and his friends’ laps, and have come over and started tickling Rob, who is now frantically rolling about and Kristen is laughing and Andrew is laughing and Emma is shaking her head but laughing too and Jesse would be laughing, if it wasn’t for the fact that Rob’s ass is pressing into his crotch and his hardening penis!
Why did have to wear the new boxer shorts his mother had bought him? Why not his normal underwear?
Jesse shifts tactfully so Rob yells and ends up falling off the couch and now everyone is laughing even harder but Jesse’s dick is half-hard and yep, it’s tenting, it’s tenting, time to get out of here.
He stands up abruptly and exclaims, “I gotta go!”
He grabs his parka, which is hanging on the coat-rack at the front door, checks his phone is in his pocket, and turns around to wave quickly at his group of friends who are all huddled over Rob. The poor boy is now rolling around on the floor getting tickled and no one notices Jesse. He sucks in a breath. “Yep. Okay.”
He leaves, closing the door quietly behind him.
But he’s halfway out the gate when he hears, Jesse!
Jesse stops. It’s Andrew.
(it’s always andrew)
Andrew pads up to him on the gravel and puts a hand on his shoulder from behind. “What’s up? Where are you going?”
Jesse doesn’t turn around. He can’t turn around. “Gotta get home.”
“Jess?”
Jesse shrugs off Andrew’s hand and starts walking down the sidewalk to get home but Andrew is relentless.
(like that time -)
“Jess what’s up?”
Jesse shakes his head. “Nothing, Andrew, I just gotta get home.”
“Why? Jesse, look at me.” And Jesse isn’t expecting the hand on his shoulder, which swivels him around and - yep.
“Is it something - oh.” Andrew’s gaze freezes on Jesse’s tented pants. “Oh.” He says softly. Andrew’s eyes glance up at Jesse’s mortified expression then back down to his crotch. “Oh.” He says softer still.
(oh no)
(oh god)
“Um.” Jesse turns around and begins to run home. Andrew doesn’t seem to follow him and when Jesse finally turns out of Kristen’s street he slows to a jog, and then to a walk, because who is Jesse kidding, cycling and walking to places doesn’t make him fit enough to sustain a run.
(don’t think)
Jesse’s mind remains blank all the way until he gets into his room, thankfully he’s able to avoid any family members and nosy pedestrians. He locks the door and sinks to the floor, where he lies, grumbling at himself and at his dick.
What!?
Jesse groans and starts shaking his head side to side.
Andrew saw that.
He sits up on his elbows and glares at the tent in his pants. Why does he even have an erection?! Where are they coming from? Why in the past three or so months has he suddenly been getting erections so often? He’s always only gotten the odd erection here or there for no apparent reason, but now? He’s getting them nearly every week!
Jesse thinks. Yes. It’s undeniably in the last three or so months - ever since senior year started - that Jesse has noticed a definite increase in the number of erections he’s gotten and noticed! Sometimes maybe his dick will be half-hard but he doesn’t realize until he’s taking his underwear off or something, or he’s getting in the shower.
But full blown erections?! Erections that he has to jerk off to get rid of!? Ever since that time on his bed after seeing Andrew doing dolphin-kick -
Wait. What?
Yeah, that time after seeing Andrew do dolphin-kick, before he even knew who Andrew was, and then at the swim centre cause Andrew was getting changed, and then countless times after at the swim centre and he’d have to leave Sophia when she was mid-sentence because he’d feel his dick hardening and Lea was right next to him and that’d be so awkward, getting an erection in front of a two year old. Oh yeah, and then that time at the public pool when he was floating on his back…oh, and on Andrew’s bed (what!?) and then…in the shower that night before Thanksgiving dinner…
Jesse makes a sound somewhere between a squeak and a whimper. That night in the shower when he thought about…it was about…
(andrew!)
(lips)
(always andrew)
(ANDREW)
(no)
(YES)
Jesse scrambles up and shoves his pants and boxers down - won’t be wearing those again - and stares at his erection.
(andrew?)
He stares at it.
And stares at it.
And - Andrew? - stares at it.
He locks the door and then sits at his desk with his laptop. He opens up an incognito page on his internet browser. He looks down at the erection. It’s still there. He opens up Google.
Erection?
Still there.
He types ‘tube 8’ and presses enter. That’s the site JT likes to watch his porn on, isn’t it?
Beep!
Jesse jumps in his seat and okay, Google has loaded, okay, um, just going to check my phone, okay, it’s loaded, ah -
He finds the phone in his discarded pants
From Andrew:
What’s up Jess? Can I call you later?
Jesse hazards a reply.
Andrew:
yeh, later, after dinner
He then throws the phone onto his bed, where it bounces off and hits the ground. Jesse curses but turns back to his laptop. Okay. He clicks the website and ah. Okay. Naked people. Okay. Oh, god, women. Um.
Oh, yes, there’s three buttons in the upper right section. Straight. Gay. Shemale. Eh? Shemale? Jesse furrows his eyebrows. No. Ah, okay, video ads - wow, what, gross, that woman doesn’t look like she’s having fun. With a shaking hand, he moves the cursor to click on the ‘Gay’ section.
Jesse closes his eyes and tries to calm his erratic heartbeat. Beep! What? He stumbles over to the side of the bed where his phone fell to, and as he bends over is met face-to-face with his erection. Still there, then.
From Andrew:
Okay. Like 8? I’ll call at 8
Jesse swallows, chucks his phone down onto his bed again, where it doesn’t bounce off this time, then stumbles back over to the chair. It’s cold against his bare ass but - woah. Okay, no thanks. That video ad is not tasteful - why would anyone want to watch a big man shove his penis inside that man’s mouth when the man looks so scared and ???? Who would watch that?
He scours the categories. Twink? What’s twink? It looks better than ‘hardcore’. He clicks on that and checks - yep, erection is still there. Jesse puts a hand around it and it twitches.
The site loads. Jesse scrunches up his face and. Hm. Okay. Well, let’s maybe sort the videos by rating. He clicks on the first video, supposedly the best one. Twink. What’s twink? The video opens up and begins to play and okay that is really loud oh fuck.
He presses pause and sits, breathing heavily. Okay. Don’t think anyone’s home but…Jesse finds his headphones anyway and plugs them in. He looks down.
Erection?
Still there. Yep. Still there. Still hard as ever. Oh god.
He gulps, then presses play and watches. There are two young men lying on a couch. One’s spooning the other and they look like they’re asleep. Jesse scoffs. They’re not asleep, only pretending. I see, so that’s the premise of the video, he thinks. Jesse cocks his head. They’re quite cute actually they’re - oh. The one being the big spoon starts nipping at the little spoon’s ear and they start squirming. What are you doing? The little spoon grumbles. Goodmorning! The big spoon coos and, oh, that’s sweet. Jesse actually smiles to himself. What a nice video. And…oh. Okay. The big spoon starts pawing at the little spoon’s shirt and, well, that was fast, both their tops are getting thrown off. Both of the guys have nice chests, Jesse thinks. Not as nice as Andrew’s though.
(golden)
(toned)
(touch)
They start kissing with the big spoon lying on top of the little spoon and that’s like that time at Andrew’s when Andrew was underneath and he was on top and oh. Jesse starts to fist his dick, slowly. Is that what they’d have looked like? Except Andrew and Jesse were still wearing their tops. Sort of.
Jesse glances down to his erection. There’s pre-come dribbling out. He uses it to lubricate his penis and then an interesting sound made by one of the guys makes Jesse look back at the video - oh! Okay! They’re naked! Jesse has seen porn before, a little bit, not often, whatever, he’s still seen naked people and naked private areas but it still comes as a shock. Right, well, they’re both naked now, that’s…good. Jesse finds himself staring at the big spoon intently. His body is sort of like what Andrew’s would be like, if Andrew was naked
(like that time!)
(that time at the public pool)
(he was naked)
(jesse didn’t look)
(just a dick)
and was having sex with Jesse.
(WHAT!?)
Jesse freezes. What did he just think?
(but he’s indifferent to sex!)
(never cared for it!)
(andrew)
Jesse squeaks and so does the little spoon. Jesse looks at the screen. The little spoon - oh my god. Wow, okay, anus. Right. Oh GOD. The big spoon is licking at the little spoon’s anus. He’s licking it. He’s licking it. Is that hygienic? Did he wash before hand? Jesse vaguely remembers Armie explaining that all porn stars, before they do the porn, have to make sure they’re clean, so Jesse supposes that the little spoon did wash beforehand but still - oh what. You’re going to put your tongue inside it!?
Jesse frowns. That isn’t cool, he doesn’t like that, no, really, he doesn’t, except…the little spoon is moaning and the big spoon’s body looks like Andrew’s and the big spoon is kissing up the little spoon’s back now and (his lips) (andrew’s lips) that looks kind of…Jesse would like that.
More pre-come. Jesse absentmindedly swipes at it and lubricates his penis further.
The little spoon whispers something Jesse doesn’t catch - fingers?! You’re going to put your fingers in his anus? Well, Jesse supposes, that’s probably not as bad as tongue. And the big spoon did that before, so he’s probably cool with his fingers, too. The big spoon smiles. Wow, this video is kind of nice. Okay, so they’re doing very sexual things but - it’s not. It’s not. They’re being nice with each other.
The big spoon grabs something off-screen and it’s - it’s a tube. What? The man opens the tube and pours some gooey looking stuff onto his fingers. He puts the tube behind him on the arm of the couch - you’re going to knock that off buddy - and proceeds to stick a finger in the little spoon’s ass. Cool. Jesse didn’t even know you could do that. I mean, okay, clearly you can stick a finger in someone’s ass but people actually do that.
Jesse stops fisting his dick, too mesmerized to move his hand.
Eventually the big spoon has gotten two or three fingers in and then the little spoon moans and the big spoon takes his fingers out. Suddenly the big spoon’s dick is positioned at the base of the little spoon’s anus and wow. That’s a nice dick.
(it’s just a dick?)
(it’s a dick)
(but)
Wait. When has Jesse ever noticed a dick and thought that it’s nice? What is happening to him? His breathing begins to quicken and his blood feels hot. Is he having an attack or is it because he’s watching two men having sex?
The big spoon pauses though and feels behind him. Ah, told you you’d knock the tube off. The big spoon laughs
(his laugh)
(andrew’s laugh)
and Jesse can see the little spoon smile and this video is so sweet! Wait. What’s wrong with him? Since when? This is porn, it’s not sweet it’s -
The big spoon stretches over the side of the couch, out of view, but Jesse catches a nice view of the man’s ass.
(andew’s ass)
(nothing to feel up)
(lean)
(want)
WHAT!? Jesse circles his thoughts. Andrew’s ass. Jesse wants Andrew’s ass. He wants it? Well, yes, because it’s Andrew - the little spoon moans loudly and Jesse’s eyes are glued to where the big spoon is slowly, gently, pushing his dick inside the little spoon. What, without a condom? This isn’t like other porn he’s seen. This is lovely. Except - woah. Nice. The big spoon has pushed all the way in and is kissing at the back of the little spoon’s neck and that’d feel so good.
(what)
(what)
What.
(andrew feels good)
What.
Andrew feels good.
The big spoon starts thrusting, so slowly, so gently, Jesse can’t stand it. He wants to yell at the big spoon - you’re supposed to be rougher, harder, faster! This is too…this is too gentle! Jesse wonders if the men are actually boyfriends in real life because this sex looks so tender!
And oh, oh, ah, okay, wow. That sound. When the big spoon speeds up his balls slap against the little spoon’s ass and the sound is obscene. Okay.
He looks down at his erection, which looks harder, somehow. Okay. That’s interesting. Then the little spoon moans and Jesse remembers Andrew’s whimpers.
(his whimper)
(his lips)
(his moans)
Jesse tugs at his dick and closes his eyes, thinking about the way Andrew had felt underneath him, when he had writhed and twitched and moaned and whimpered and kissed Jesse. Oh my god, Jesse thinks. He basically dry humped Andrew and they came in their pants and Jesse has been ignoring that fact for this entire time and Jesse thinks about Andrew when he masturbates, which is more often now, because Jesse is getting erections more often now, and that’s because he met Andrew. And it’s all Andrew’s fault he’s getting erections and masturbating, but it’s also Andrew’s fault that Jesse actually orgasms and gets come everywhere. And Jesse has Andrew’s underwear briefs because Jesse came in his pants at Andrew’s house a month ago because Andrew was kissing Jesse.
Andrew was kissing Jesse!
(kiss)
(yes)
Jesse tightens his grasp on his dick and starts thrusting upwards. The big spoon is going faster now - that’s right - and the slapping against the ass is so loud and it’s in Jesse’s ears and the little spoon is moaning and what’s that? The little spoon says that feels so good and the big spoon says I love you. Well all right, so he didn’t know that you could do that in porn. Maybe these boys really are - oh.
The little spoon has turned over onto his back and the big spoon leans over him and Jesse can’t really see the little spoon anymore because the big spoon is arched over him
(like he wants andrew to be arched over him)
and his penis is still in the little spoon’s anus. It is in his anus. Or rectum? And the little spoon likes it. The big spoon is cradling the little spoon in his arms as he thrusts into him.
Jesse closes his eyes again and pumps into his fist, pretending that it’s Andrew who’s underneath him and he’s pounding into Andrew
(but maybe andrew could pound into him too?)
and Andrew is moaning and whimpering like he did when Jesse was at Andrew’s house, on his bed. But Jesse will be holding Andrew
(hold him)
(kiss him)
(love him!)
(no)
(yes)
(how?)
and his penis will be inside Andrew’s ass and it’ll be so tight and hot and good and Andrew and Andrew and Andrew and Jesse will be surrounded by Andrew and Andrew’s smile and his laugh and his eyelashes and his voice and his chest and his legs and feet and his arms and his eyes and his stomach and his ass and his hair and his breath and Andrew’s dick and Jesse likes him, Jesse wants him, Jesse wants Andrew to touch his cock -
The little spoon yells out and the big spoon groans and Jesse snaps his eyes open just in time to see the big spoon shudder and he’s kissing the little spoon on the face and then the little spoon cries I’m coming and Jesse remembers the sound that Andrew made when he came and Jesse is coming, just like the little spoon, onto his desk and laptop and hand and chair and on the floor and everywhere because Jesse is coming and Jesse is coming because he’s thinking about Andrew!
Jesse is spent. He cringes at the sight of his come decorating the vicinity around him. He goes to close the video except - it’s not over. The big spoon has slowed down and is pulling out and he sits up. The little spoon is lying on his back with a blissful smile on his face, and a pool of come on his stomach. The big spoon stands up and goes off-screen and returns with a towel and he wipes himself down, and then wipes the little spoon off and the little spoon cries that’s cold! And the big spoon laughs, looks straight at the camera, smiles and reaches towards Jesse. Then the screen goes black.
Okay.
So they can do that in porn?
Jesse stands up, closing the browser window and pulling out his headphones.
Oh, god, there’s come everywhere.
part vi