on marriage &c.

[saucypunk]

I've been feeling particularly anti-establishment today. So I thought I'd take a minute to vomit out some thoughts on the marriage thing, and what the hell I think I'm going to be doing on August 11.

I have no interest in the concept of Marriage as an institution. My good feminist predecessors have been over this; it's all about ownership.

Comments

[plant_geek]

i really want to be married someday and i think it's a beautiful thing- i can't think of anyone i know, young or old, that sees modern marriage as ownership- certainly marriage still means ownership in some societies, and maybe it still happens that way in some parts/subcultures of this country- but i think for the most part, we have moved beyond the historical baggage and redefined marriage- certainly there are traditions that persist (the father of the bride "giving" her away), but i think for the most part they are not performed in the same context as they once were

i do however think that like everything else, it's a choice- commitment without marriage is just as valid as marriage and unmarried life partners should be able to have the same rights as married couples

[saucypunk]

you know, i would really like to believe that, but the way I see it, we've "redefined marriage" in the same way that "abolishing slavery ended racism" and "the feminist movement ended sexism."

I'm not saying that anyone actually uses words like "ownership" when talking about marriage, and I don't want to deny that there are a lot of great people who have progressive ideas of marriage (c.f. most of my married friends), but the history is still there. All of our traditional marriage symbolism comes from either paganism or the patriarchy, mostly the latter, and we have really not managed to get rid of that. For every progressive indie wedding, there are 7 others that are still full of the (mostly unrecognized) patriarchal imagery

[jennifer19]

if you manage to overthrow the patriarchy singlehandedly you will officially be superheros. ;-)

that said i totally respect your decision and opinions on the matter. you are wicked cool and supersmart, and it sounds like Jesse is too.

a few more of my cents to throw in...

[refuz]

Ok, so for me my involvement in fighting the patriarchy has less to do with actully patriarchy(as I can't change being the patriarchy) as it has to do with my feeling the the government of this country (which is responsible for handing out marriage documents) no longer represents its people. There for as this is an elected government I am electing to no longer submit to their controls. Does the government offer me emotional support, with they help me with house hold chores, will they care if my job is making me depressed and give me kisses when the world is sunny. No they won't and therefore I don't think that they should be involved in my relationship, they have not earned it. Therefore they don't have any right to tell me who I can devote myself to, or who can be my family. Katy is my family, no matter what and I don't need a piece of paper, stamped but an unjust, unelected government, to tell me that.

Re: a few more of my cents to throw in...

[saucypunk]

thanks, monkey :-)

I just wanted to add that there's a difference between "being the patriarchy" and "being male." I think there are a ton of ways to be an anti-patriarchal male ally, and I think you do some of those quite well already. I wouldn't actually be able to stay in a relationship with you if you were on the side of the patriarchy.