[RP] Did they stick you in here cause you weren't working right?

[sarkraticmethod]

There are various definitions of the word 'okay' and Sark is currently feeling absolutely none of them when he finally makes it back to his room. He hasn't checked a mirror yet, but he's fairly certain the bruise is already starting to show. In shallow terms, he's not going to look his absolute prettiest for awhile

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[xiaomei_mei]

A pair of rather small feet pad up and come to a stop in front of him. This is followed by the feet's owner crouching down in front of him, and then wrapping her arms around his neck.

Oh, by the way, Sark, April's back in your room after her jaunt in John Smith's closet.

She's not going to say anything. She's been so good, since she came in, since the Vesmier helped her straighten herself out, but right now, she can't stop herself, and she just picks up the encounter with Sydney and sees it and understands.

"You're not broken," she whispers. "Not, not, not."

It's very reminiscent of crazy!April, but she just can't bring herself to be more coherent than that. She doesn't want anyone to be broken like she is.

[sarkraticmethod]

It's not entirely unexpected, although considering he hasn't seen her in awhile, it is a bit surprising. Then again, he hasn't been around much himself, searching for contacts, and dealing with... That, among other things.

"I see you've come back," he says softly, wrapping an arm around her and deciding that the best course of action in dealing with this since he isn't going to do any of the other things he wants to do is to just bury his face in her hair and leave it at that. "And I know."

Or so he's going to tell himself, because he doesn't want to think about it, because if he does, he'll remember that he didn't choose this. Sometimes he likes to pretend that he has so much control that this happened naturally and that his being incapable of understanding anything that doesn't involve business, murder, or global terrorism is just because he doesn't want to, and not because he was twisted and tortured into whatever he is now.

Not broken down and rebuilt. Just rebuilt by his own will. Otherwise, what does he have control over?

[xiaomei_mei]

Nothing. It's a terrifying place to be, a terrifying life to have, because when you've been so broken and put back together without having a choice in the matter, everything else is just a tiny bit out of your control. Even when you think it's under control, it's just a tiny bit not.

And April gets that. It's one thing for her, she's accepted the fact that she's never quite in control of anything in her life. She's never been in control of anything, and she's used to it.

Oh, but he, he's so in control. It's a bit of a farce, but he is.

"Couldn't stay away. 'S home."

[sarkraticmethod]

A total farce, really, all things considering, but Irina gave him a taste for power and control and he never quite lost it, but he's never been the one fully in control and he does know that. He's the dog who has a rather long leash, but falls back to attention whenever someone pulls on it. A dog who'll bite the hand that feeds him because another hand offered something better and then come back with his tail between his legs when it wasn't what he expected.

He doesn't have a leash, he doesn't have power, and he just barely has any control. The one thing he can control is himself and he doesn't need to be reminded that he doesn't have as much control over that as he thinks he does if only because he didn't make any of the decisions that made him what he is.

Ironically, the things he wants to be able to lock away and hide and not deal with because he just can't are probably the closest thing he has to what he might have been had things been different, but he's too incapable of dealing with them to want them around