Eros (firefly fanfiction) 2/?
Title: Eros
Pairings: Simon Tam/Mal Reynalds, Wash/Zoe, various OCs
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I wish so much and yet it'll never happen.
Summary: See chapter one for more information.
Chapter Two.
Dinner passed with thick tension in the air, but for the life of him Simon couldn't bring himself to care. He ate and drank and luxuriated in the company of friends who he didn't have to fear, they wouldn't turn their back on him like he had always worried the Captain would. Despite Kaylee's innate goodness and her genuine friendship with him he knew that not even she would be able to stop the Captain when he finally got bored of having to dodge the law on the account of a pansy rich boy doctor and his moon brained sister. Celeste had already made it clear that she believed instantly in him, and no amount of pressure from the government could sway her otherwise. So let the Captain stare daggers at him from across the table, and let Jayne run his mouth off with insulting insinuations. Nothing could touch him here.
“The hour is late, I bid you call a good night. Bella, if you would show our guests to the Guest Wing and then find your own bed, promptly please?” Celeste asked pointedly. Her daughter hadn't enough shame at getting caught lusting after one of their guests to blush, instead she just smiled winningly at her mother and elegantly raised from the table.
“Follow me,” she invited alluringly and Simon watched her hips sway suggestively as she led the way out of the dinning area.
Mal kept close to Simon as they journeyed through the large maze like house, an expression not dissimilar to that of someone having just bitten a lemon seemed to be glued to his face. Perhaps the wind had changed during dinner, but Simon somehow doubted it.
The first room they came to was small comparatively although it made the rooms on Serenity look like closets. Ivory walls with black and gold details, a large ornate mirror and a single bed of fine red silk. Clearly this was a child's room, while it was beautiful in design it lacked the signs of adulthood. River was deposited here, which Mal argued against wanting her to sleep across from the Doctor and in with Kaylee. Bella's response was to point out that there were no double rooms in her mother's house except for ones with marital beds, and that they would never dream of allowing a minor in one of those rooms. Besides due to the culture on Eros, same sex relations were just as common as opposite gender relationships which meant that they could not allow River to share a room with anyone over the age of twenty-one. That ruled out all members of the crew. Zoe shot him a look and Mal shut up before he dug a whole he couldn't climb out of and thankfully there were no more incidents. The next room along was given to Kaylee, a larger room with the kinds of tools that one would expect from a culture built on BDSM to possess. Of course they were clearly unused and kept in plastic packages. Kaylee blushed prettily and seemed to avoid looking at them, instead remarking on how comfortable the large bed looked. They left her to stare forlornly at it, and Simon couldn't help but think that she was thinking on how lonely it would be for her to sleep in that huge decadent bed without anyone to keep her warm. Guilt twinged at the fringes of his mind, but Simon had to let go of the fantasy that he could be what Kaylee needed. He couldn't, and she was figuring that out every moment she stayed here.
Across the large spacious hallway was Simon's room which was where his journey ended leaving him unsure as to which rooms the Captain and Wash and Zoe were to sleep in. Still, at least he knew where River was and that was the important thing. He was proud of her today, she had handled herself well and he had only had to give her medicine once. Maybe this place was good for her, it was certainly good for him.
The bedroom he found himself in was even more decadent than River or Kaylee's had been. The walls were a rich bronze colour that almost seemed to glitter and edged with cream. Art works hung on the wall, of erotic poses or famous ancient paintings of Earth that was. Expensive, all of them. All but one. This one hung opposite the mahogany bed with its burgundy cotton sheets. The wall was completely bare except this one small painting. He moved closer, drawn by the mysterious shadows of the drawing, then finally he was standing close enough to touch the naked joy and comfort that the artist had captured on the face of the submissive man being whipped. Simon's heart caught in his throat and his pulse tripled. Gods but how he remembered what it was like to be that man, kneeling at the feet of a dominant who could make you soar so high the spaceships envied you. The feeling of freedom and belonging. Of safety, despite the intentional harm that was being done to you. Of helplessness, an emotion that Simon had begun to despise since beginning his mission to save River from what had been hurting her.
“It's mine,” a familiar voice murmured from inches away.
Simon turned, startled. He hadn't even heard the electronic door open, let alone noticed that he was no longer alone.
“Bella, what are you-”
“I'm just saying goodnight, Simon, and hoping we could pick up our... conversation from earlier,” she said suggestively.
Simon moved away from her. “You are very talented,” he said, gesturing towards the painting. “Did you give me this room deliberately?”
She shrugged. “It may have crossed my mind.”
“I'm not about to betray Celeste's kindness by letting myself be seduced by her under-aged daughter,” Simon said.
“No matter how much you want to?” She guessed accurately.
“Bella, I...”
“Don't worry, Simon, I would never ask you to break the law. I'm just making my claim know, in case you decide to stick around,” she said.
“What makes you think that I'll be sticking around?” Simon asked as she made her way to the door.
She laughed, a musical sound that reminded Simon of her mother. “Simon. You are the perfect submissive, I can tell from a few hours in your company, yet you have no one to claim you, to make you feel like you belong and hence you don't. This is your home, Simon, even if you don't live here at the moment, this is where you belong and I have little doubt you'll see that before the end. And when you do, remember my offer, I'm young but I'm extremely well trained. Sleep well, Simon, and don't feel too guilty about dreaming about me,” she said and then Simon was alone feeling like he'd been hit by a tornado.
Bella was a force to be reckoned with, not that Simon could really deny anything she was saying. He'd been legal when he'd arrived on this planet and soon involved in a relationship with a powerfully seductive domme called Hana. She had taught him how much he needed to be needed, but soon enough the relationship turned sour and Celeste had helped him. That was why he knew River would be safe under her roof, as would they all, even Simon who to this day couldn't be sure if he even wanted to be safe.
He groaned and went to find the shower, located through a door which led to an empty walk in closet which was approximately the size of Kaylee's quarters on the ship. He revelled in the scalding hot water for a good fifteen minutes before he found himself longing for the comfort of a bed. Sleep came as soon as he lay his head on the genuine feather pillow, but it wasn't Bella's touch that burned through his dreams. It was someone else, far more forbidden to him.
((-))
Screaming woke him. An inhuman sound which called to the doctor in him. He was out of bed and searching for the light before he had even opened his eyes, and when he did he noticed a door to his left. Hurrying towards it, medical supplies in tow, he found the door opened for him instantly. He ordered the lights on and saw Mal, twisted up in his sheets, his body glistening with sweat and his features contorted with fear and pain. He screamed again, his body jerking.
Simon rushed to him, gentling him and murmuring, trying to wake him without startling him. The Captain's arms flew out and one caught him across the face, knocking him backwards. He would have a bruise in the morning, but it would hardly be the first time Mal had unthinkingly inflicted damage upon him. “Wake up!” He shouted in Mal's ear and the Captain's eyes flew open to find a half naked Simon lying on his bed.
“What in the gorram verse are you doing in my bed?” Mal croaked out, his voice sore from creaming that he couldn't remember.
“You woke me up, screaming. Nightmare.” Simon explained, quickly distancing himself physically from Mal.
Mal looked down at himself, twisted up in expensive bed cloths and sweating as if he'd been working for hours in the midday sun on his mama's ranch back on Shadow. “I'm awake now, Doctor, you can go back to your sleep.”
“I should give you something to help you get some rest,” Simon said, searching his bag of medicines.
“No. No drugs. I've slept enough for the night,” Mal said.
He couldn't have slept more than two and a half hours, but Simon would let him have his way. After all, he was the Captain. “If you say so,” he said.
Mal lay there panting, and Simon felt the urge to help in some small way so he poured the Captain a glass of water and handed it to him, pleased when Mal drank most of it down in a few gulps before placing it by his bedside. He seemed calmer now, and Simon was about to leave when he spoke.
“How long did you spend on Eros, the first time?” He asked.
Simon blinked in surprise. Mal was asking about his life? This was beyond unheard of. It was... unsettling. It was everything he wanted, but nothing he had ever believed he could have. Surely there was a trick to it, but Simon found himself replying anyway. “Just under a year. Most medical training exercises last for six months, but truthfully I considered staying here and making it my home. It was only because my father called me back that I returned.”
“Not your sister?” Mal asked.
“She wanted me to be happy, even though I'm sure she missed me.”
Mal nodded. “What about now?”
“Excuse me?” Simon asked, not following.
“Are you thinking about staying now?” He repeated, an edge to his tone now. So, Simon realised, this was where the conversation was going.
“Why? You thinking of leaving us here?” Simon asked, his own voice sharp with resentment and bitterness.
“No,” Mal bit back, fire in his eyes. “Just wondering if I was going to have to hog tie you to get you back to the ship.”
Simon's breath caught. “You!” He couldn't think of a curse harsh enough to throw at the captain. “I would have thought you would be please to see me and River go?”
“No one leaves the ship, least I give them permission. Not you or your moon-brained sis! Dong ma?” Mal was out of bed now, wearing only a pair of boxers. Simon kept his eyes on Mal's face despite how much he wanted to look at his chest. It wasn't like he'd never seen it before, but when he had it had always been as Simon's patient. This was different. Still, it was easier than expected to keep his eyes on Mal's face when his expression was so riveting. A cross between rage and something he'd only ever seen once before, a long time ago. It reminded him of how easy it was for even the simplest of power relationships to turn abusive, and how he had already been down this road before. Why couldn't he see how easy it would be to fall pray to Mal, just like he'd fallen pray to Hana.
“You don't have the right-” Simon began, but found all the air evacuated from his lungs as Mal reared up and threw him bodily against the wall, keeping him in place by a hand against his throat with mere centimetres between their bodies. Simon didn't even try and struggle, his eyes wide and his pulse fast for reasons other than fear.
He had been here before, that thought echoed through his mind.
“”Yes I do,” Mal bit out viscously. “You think I haven't been paying attention? Well I have. I know some of the rules here, and I do have the right. In fact, I think this little trip has given me a whole new perspective on you, Simon, and now I see where I was going wrong. After this, I don't think I'll ever have a problem letting you know where you belong, do you?” Mal added, and Simon wanted simultaneously to whimper and fall to his knees and to lash out at Mal, make him feel as vulnerable and pained as Simon was feeling right this minute. He never got the chance to see which would win out, because an instant later Mal released Simon and he found himself bracing his knees to stop himself from falling down.
Bruised deeper than just his skin, Simon stared balefully at the space next to Mal's shoulder unable to meet the Captain's eyes just yet. “Go back to your bed, Doctor,” the Captain ordered, and Simon just noticed that Mal was avoiding looking directly at Simon as well. “And I really wouldn't recommend dreaming of Bella.”
Simon couldn't take any more. Not tonight. “Believe me, I wasn't,” he said, and left the room quickly. Once on the other side of the door he verbally commanded it to lock and sought the safety of his own bed, feeling anything but safe. What the hell was all of that? If he couldn't already feel the bruise beginning to show on his cheek he would think it had all been a dream. A dream, not a nightmare, and that was the worst part about it. Despite the violence and vehemence he had just experienced, he would rather have that than the usual indifference that the Captain treated him with. Indifference would be the real nightmare. And that was the sad truth.
TBC - link to next chapter
PS. Thank you for all your comments, I'm so pleased to see such a reaction to this! I will be posting more in the near future. Thanks once more!
Pairings: Simon Tam/Mal Reynalds, Wash/Zoe, various OCs
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I wish so much and yet it'll never happen.
Summary: See chapter one for more information.
Chapter Two.
Dinner passed with thick tension in the air, but for the life of him Simon couldn't bring himself to care. He ate and drank and luxuriated in the company of friends who he didn't have to fear, they wouldn't turn their back on him like he had always worried the Captain would. Despite Kaylee's innate goodness and her genuine friendship with him he knew that not even she would be able to stop the Captain when he finally got bored of having to dodge the law on the account of a pansy rich boy doctor and his moon brained sister. Celeste had already made it clear that she believed instantly in him, and no amount of pressure from the government could sway her otherwise. So let the Captain stare daggers at him from across the table, and let Jayne run his mouth off with insulting insinuations. Nothing could touch him here.
“The hour is late, I bid you call a good night. Bella, if you would show our guests to the Guest Wing and then find your own bed, promptly please?” Celeste asked pointedly. Her daughter hadn't enough shame at getting caught lusting after one of their guests to blush, instead she just smiled winningly at her mother and elegantly raised from the table.
“Follow me,” she invited alluringly and Simon watched her hips sway suggestively as she led the way out of the dinning area.
Mal kept close to Simon as they journeyed through the large maze like house, an expression not dissimilar to that of someone having just bitten a lemon seemed to be glued to his face. Perhaps the wind had changed during dinner, but Simon somehow doubted it.
The first room they came to was small comparatively although it made the rooms on Serenity look like closets. Ivory walls with black and gold details, a large ornate mirror and a single bed of fine red silk. Clearly this was a child's room, while it was beautiful in design it lacked the signs of adulthood. River was deposited here, which Mal argued against wanting her to sleep across from the Doctor and in with Kaylee. Bella's response was to point out that there were no double rooms in her mother's house except for ones with marital beds, and that they would never dream of allowing a minor in one of those rooms. Besides due to the culture on Eros, same sex relations were just as common as opposite gender relationships which meant that they could not allow River to share a room with anyone over the age of twenty-one. That ruled out all members of the crew. Zoe shot him a look and Mal shut up before he dug a whole he couldn't climb out of and thankfully there were no more incidents. The next room along was given to Kaylee, a larger room with the kinds of tools that one would expect from a culture built on BDSM to possess. Of course they were clearly unused and kept in plastic packages. Kaylee blushed prettily and seemed to avoid looking at them, instead remarking on how comfortable the large bed looked. They left her to stare forlornly at it, and Simon couldn't help but think that she was thinking on how lonely it would be for her to sleep in that huge decadent bed without anyone to keep her warm. Guilt twinged at the fringes of his mind, but Simon had to let go of the fantasy that he could be what Kaylee needed. He couldn't, and she was figuring that out every moment she stayed here.
Across the large spacious hallway was Simon's room which was where his journey ended leaving him unsure as to which rooms the Captain and Wash and Zoe were to sleep in. Still, at least he knew where River was and that was the important thing. He was proud of her today, she had handled herself well and he had only had to give her medicine once. Maybe this place was good for her, it was certainly good for him.
The bedroom he found himself in was even more decadent than River or Kaylee's had been. The walls were a rich bronze colour that almost seemed to glitter and edged with cream. Art works hung on the wall, of erotic poses or famous ancient paintings of Earth that was. Expensive, all of them. All but one. This one hung opposite the mahogany bed with its burgundy cotton sheets. The wall was completely bare except this one small painting. He moved closer, drawn by the mysterious shadows of the drawing, then finally he was standing close enough to touch the naked joy and comfort that the artist had captured on the face of the submissive man being whipped. Simon's heart caught in his throat and his pulse tripled. Gods but how he remembered what it was like to be that man, kneeling at the feet of a dominant who could make you soar so high the spaceships envied you. The feeling of freedom and belonging. Of safety, despite the intentional harm that was being done to you. Of helplessness, an emotion that Simon had begun to despise since beginning his mission to save River from what had been hurting her.
“It's mine,” a familiar voice murmured from inches away.
Simon turned, startled. He hadn't even heard the electronic door open, let alone noticed that he was no longer alone.
“Bella, what are you-”
“I'm just saying goodnight, Simon, and hoping we could pick up our... conversation from earlier,” she said suggestively.
Simon moved away from her. “You are very talented,” he said, gesturing towards the painting. “Did you give me this room deliberately?”
She shrugged. “It may have crossed my mind.”
“I'm not about to betray Celeste's kindness by letting myself be seduced by her under-aged daughter,” Simon said.
“No matter how much you want to?” She guessed accurately.
“Bella, I...”
“Don't worry, Simon, I would never ask you to break the law. I'm just making my claim know, in case you decide to stick around,” she said.
“What makes you think that I'll be sticking around?” Simon asked as she made her way to the door.
She laughed, a musical sound that reminded Simon of her mother. “Simon. You are the perfect submissive, I can tell from a few hours in your company, yet you have no one to claim you, to make you feel like you belong and hence you don't. This is your home, Simon, even if you don't live here at the moment, this is where you belong and I have little doubt you'll see that before the end. And when you do, remember my offer, I'm young but I'm extremely well trained. Sleep well, Simon, and don't feel too guilty about dreaming about me,” she said and then Simon was alone feeling like he'd been hit by a tornado.
Bella was a force to be reckoned with, not that Simon could really deny anything she was saying. He'd been legal when he'd arrived on this planet and soon involved in a relationship with a powerfully seductive domme called Hana. She had taught him how much he needed to be needed, but soon enough the relationship turned sour and Celeste had helped him. That was why he knew River would be safe under her roof, as would they all, even Simon who to this day couldn't be sure if he even wanted to be safe.
He groaned and went to find the shower, located through a door which led to an empty walk in closet which was approximately the size of Kaylee's quarters on the ship. He revelled in the scalding hot water for a good fifteen minutes before he found himself longing for the comfort of a bed. Sleep came as soon as he lay his head on the genuine feather pillow, but it wasn't Bella's touch that burned through his dreams. It was someone else, far more forbidden to him.
((-))
Screaming woke him. An inhuman sound which called to the doctor in him. He was out of bed and searching for the light before he had even opened his eyes, and when he did he noticed a door to his left. Hurrying towards it, medical supplies in tow, he found the door opened for him instantly. He ordered the lights on and saw Mal, twisted up in his sheets, his body glistening with sweat and his features contorted with fear and pain. He screamed again, his body jerking.
Simon rushed to him, gentling him and murmuring, trying to wake him without startling him. The Captain's arms flew out and one caught him across the face, knocking him backwards. He would have a bruise in the morning, but it would hardly be the first time Mal had unthinkingly inflicted damage upon him. “Wake up!” He shouted in Mal's ear and the Captain's eyes flew open to find a half naked Simon lying on his bed.
“What in the gorram verse are you doing in my bed?” Mal croaked out, his voice sore from creaming that he couldn't remember.
“You woke me up, screaming. Nightmare.” Simon explained, quickly distancing himself physically from Mal.
Mal looked down at himself, twisted up in expensive bed cloths and sweating as if he'd been working for hours in the midday sun on his mama's ranch back on Shadow. “I'm awake now, Doctor, you can go back to your sleep.”
“I should give you something to help you get some rest,” Simon said, searching his bag of medicines.
“No. No drugs. I've slept enough for the night,” Mal said.
He couldn't have slept more than two and a half hours, but Simon would let him have his way. After all, he was the Captain. “If you say so,” he said.
Mal lay there panting, and Simon felt the urge to help in some small way so he poured the Captain a glass of water and handed it to him, pleased when Mal drank most of it down in a few gulps before placing it by his bedside. He seemed calmer now, and Simon was about to leave when he spoke.
“How long did you spend on Eros, the first time?” He asked.
Simon blinked in surprise. Mal was asking about his life? This was beyond unheard of. It was... unsettling. It was everything he wanted, but nothing he had ever believed he could have. Surely there was a trick to it, but Simon found himself replying anyway. “Just under a year. Most medical training exercises last for six months, but truthfully I considered staying here and making it my home. It was only because my father called me back that I returned.”
“Not your sister?” Mal asked.
“She wanted me to be happy, even though I'm sure she missed me.”
Mal nodded. “What about now?”
“Excuse me?” Simon asked, not following.
“Are you thinking about staying now?” He repeated, an edge to his tone now. So, Simon realised, this was where the conversation was going.
“Why? You thinking of leaving us here?” Simon asked, his own voice sharp with resentment and bitterness.
“No,” Mal bit back, fire in his eyes. “Just wondering if I was going to have to hog tie you to get you back to the ship.”
Simon's breath caught. “You!” He couldn't think of a curse harsh enough to throw at the captain. “I would have thought you would be please to see me and River go?”
“No one leaves the ship, least I give them permission. Not you or your moon-brained sis! Dong ma?” Mal was out of bed now, wearing only a pair of boxers. Simon kept his eyes on Mal's face despite how much he wanted to look at his chest. It wasn't like he'd never seen it before, but when he had it had always been as Simon's patient. This was different. Still, it was easier than expected to keep his eyes on Mal's face when his expression was so riveting. A cross between rage and something he'd only ever seen once before, a long time ago. It reminded him of how easy it was for even the simplest of power relationships to turn abusive, and how he had already been down this road before. Why couldn't he see how easy it would be to fall pray to Mal, just like he'd fallen pray to Hana.
“You don't have the right-” Simon began, but found all the air evacuated from his lungs as Mal reared up and threw him bodily against the wall, keeping him in place by a hand against his throat with mere centimetres between their bodies. Simon didn't even try and struggle, his eyes wide and his pulse fast for reasons other than fear.
He had been here before, that thought echoed through his mind.
“”Yes I do,” Mal bit out viscously. “You think I haven't been paying attention? Well I have. I know some of the rules here, and I do have the right. In fact, I think this little trip has given me a whole new perspective on you, Simon, and now I see where I was going wrong. After this, I don't think I'll ever have a problem letting you know where you belong, do you?” Mal added, and Simon wanted simultaneously to whimper and fall to his knees and to lash out at Mal, make him feel as vulnerable and pained as Simon was feeling right this minute. He never got the chance to see which would win out, because an instant later Mal released Simon and he found himself bracing his knees to stop himself from falling down.
Bruised deeper than just his skin, Simon stared balefully at the space next to Mal's shoulder unable to meet the Captain's eyes just yet. “Go back to your bed, Doctor,” the Captain ordered, and Simon just noticed that Mal was avoiding looking directly at Simon as well. “And I really wouldn't recommend dreaming of Bella.”
Simon couldn't take any more. Not tonight. “Believe me, I wasn't,” he said, and left the room quickly. Once on the other side of the door he verbally commanded it to lock and sought the safety of his own bed, feeling anything but safe. What the hell was all of that? If he couldn't already feel the bruise beginning to show on his cheek he would think it had all been a dream. A dream, not a nightmare, and that was the worst part about it. Despite the violence and vehemence he had just experienced, he would rather have that than the usual indifference that the Captain treated him with. Indifference would be the real nightmare. And that was the sad truth.
TBC - link to next chapter
PS. Thank you for all your comments, I'm so pleased to see such a reaction to this! I will be posting more in the near future. Thanks once more!