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[sarahmaike1975]

So, as some of you know, I have parents, who are both severely ill. My mom has MS and my Dad has Diabetes. Due to some blood circulation problems he has some wounds on his feet, that don't heal; he was in and out of the hospital for this since April. 
He has gotten slowly better, at snails pace over the last few weeks, but the wounds don't seem to

Comments

[faramirhaldir]

Sweetie, I have no idea where you live but I have been in home health care for 12 years. Do your parents have insurance or Medicare? If the do, the doctor can order home health care that can come out and assess their needs and provide care if they qualify. With both having health problems they should.

The doctor may talk to you, but if your in the states they have cracked down on privacy so much that it may take you going to the doctors with your dad and having him sign a release saying you can talk to the doctor about him

OR

You can be made medical or durable power of attorney so medical decision can be made by you and the doctors would have to talk to you as their power of attorney.

Check out this link...

http://www.legacywriter.com/poa.asp?src=g15durable7

It can be done online and is inexpensive online.

Let me know if I can answer any questions

Hang in there

*hugs*
Tena

[sarahmaike1975]

Hi, we live in Germany. Here nearly everbody is incuranced, that's not the problem.
The problem is, that when my dad is good, he doesn't want to do anything about this, he doesn't speak to his doc, he would probably kill me, if he thought I was speaking to his doc. I'm afraid unless I call the ambulance during one of his episodes the doctors aren't allowed to talk to me about his meds and stuff.

My father is pretty young, he is only 56, and my family is built of stubborn, overly proud people, so we have a problem accepting help. I don't know, how I can make him see, that he needs to get this under control. He has no idea, how frightening it is to watch him like this. He is this big man, demanding respect from everyone around him. But he'd shaken me with this.

[starlightbj]

That must be very hard to deal with. Could you phone a social/health line for advice anonymously?

Your Mom is vulnerable and he could accidentally hurt her in his aggressive phase, not on purpose but because she isn't very mobile. I think his doctor really needs to check him out for his meds or ways to keep his blood sugar more stable?

Sorry I can't be much help. *hugs*

[sarahmaike1975]

I think I'll try to talk to my dad and his doctor in the morning, when things have calmed down a bit.

I don't really want to meddle, but I think it is necessary. My mom can't deal with it anymore, there has to be a way, to keep him on an acceptable sugar level.

Part of it is because of him being depressed, you know? He doesn't eat when he should, but he stuffs himself with cookies at other times. He is supposed to eat at definite times, and to test his blood sugar level several times a day, but he doesn't care at the moment, because he misses his work, and he things his feet will never get better.

His sugar level being so unstable isn't exactly doing something towards a healing of his feet. It's actually a hindrance. I think he would be better of in the hospital, until this is over, but he thinks he can't leave my mom alone for to long. It a devils circle, you know? I will see what i can do.

[mickiebg]

I'm so sorry to hear about your news...it sounds like your father is a loving man who just needs to realize that he needs help once in a while. If you talked to him during one of his 'normal' days than maybe you can stress how important his health is to your mother. If you use her as the focal point and not him, he may realize that by ignoring his own needs he is making her suffer.

It's worth a try. Keep us posted...we do care.

Hugs,
Michele

[sarahmaike1975]

Thanks, now you made me tear up, but I think, that what you suggested, is just what I'm going to try to do.

I just kind of needed to get it out. And since its 2.30 in the morning, it's not exactly a time, where you can call anyone! And I obviously can't sleep, so thanks for your kind words.

Sarah

[shadownyc]

While the doctor may not be able to talk to you about specifics, you can call your father's doctor and tell him what you have witnessed and of your concerns for your parents.

This might lead your doctor to suggest some actions that he/she suggests you should take.

I'll be thinking of you.

[sarahmaike1975]

Yeah I definitely will talk to my Dad and hs doc. Like you said, the doc may not be able to say s.th. to me, but I can tell him what happened.

Thanks for lending me an ear!