Ficathon: The House that Clyde Built
Title: The House that Clyde Built
Author: Paranoidangel
Rating: G
Beta: hhertzof
Characters: Luke, Clyde
Spoilers: The Nightmare Man
Summary: Clyde has a bad day.
Notes: For the End of SJA ficathon. I chose Christchurch as the college Luke's at on the spurious basis that it was Hogwarts in the Harry Potter films.
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 17.20
Subject: Phone
Ugh, not a good day. First I was late to school because my alarm didn't go off, then my history homework was due and I completely forgot, and then after school some guy was trying to take over the world by turning all the cats against us. Do you know how many cats there are in Bannerman Road?
We defeated him, of course, but I broke my mobile. That's the third this year! Mum'll kill me. I think I've run out of excuses now.
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 18.20
Subject: Re: Phone
That's awful. I've seen a few cats in Bannerman Road but they all run off when they see me.
What happened to your phone?
Luke
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.27
Subject: Re: Phone
I used it to bounce the beam from some sort of ray gun. Saved my life, but I am so much poorer. I'd get a Saturday job, but too busy saving the world, you know?
The gun was pretty cool, though. I'd send you a picture, but I took it on my phone. I'm drawing it now, it's definitely going in The Silver Bullet.
Clyde
~*~*~*~
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 17.20
Subject: Phone
Ugh, not a good day. First I was late to school because my alarm didn't go off, then my history homework was due and I completely forgot, and then after school some guy was trying to take over the world by turning all the cats against us. Do you know how many cats there are in Bannerman Road?
We defeated him, of course, but I broke my mobile. That's the third this year! Mum'll kill me. I think I've run out of excuses now.
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 18.20
Subject: Re: Phone
That's awful. I've seen a few cats in Bannerman Road but they all run off when they see me.
What happened to your phone?
Luke
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.27
Subject: Re: Phone
I used it to bounce the beam from some sort of ray gun. Saved my life, but I am so much poorer. I'd get a Saturday job, but too busy saving the world, you know?
The gun was pretty cool, though. I'd send you a picture, but I took it on my phone. I'm drawing it now, it's definitely going in The Silver Bullet.
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 18.33
Subject: Re: Phone
K9's just said you did that yesterday too. I think he might be joking, it's hard to tell with his lack of a sense of humour.
Luke
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.45
Subject: Re: Phone
Of course I didn't break my phone two days in a row. It takes me longer than that to get a new one. We weren't even invaded by aliens yesterday. We spoke to you on Skype and then Sanjay wanted to borrow a Pot Noodle off you.
I've tried teaching K9, but he's really not good with jokes.
Clyde
~*~*~*~
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 17.20
Subject: Phone
Ugh, not a good day. First I was late to school because my alarm didn't go off, then my history homework was due and I completely forgot, and then after school some guy was trying to take over the world by turning all the cats against us. Do you know how many cats there are in Bannerman Road?
We defeated him, of course, but I broke my mobile. That's the third this year! Mum'll kill me. I think I've run out of excuses now.
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 18.20
Subject: Re: Phone
That's awful. I've seen a few cats in Bannerman Road but they all run off when they see me.
What happened to your phone?
Luke
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.27
Subject: Re: Phone
I used it to bounce the beam from some sort of ray gun. Saved my life, but I am so much poorer. I'd get a Saturday job, but too busy saving the world, you know?
The gun was pretty cool, though. I'd send you a picture, but I took it on my phone. I'm drawing it now, it's definitely going in The Silver Bullet.
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 18.33
Subject: Re: Phone
K9's just said you did that yesterday and the day before. I think he might be joking, it's hard to tell with his lack of a sense of humour.
Luke
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.45
Subject: Re: Phone
Of course I didn't break my phone two days in a row. It takes me longer than that to get a new one. We weren't even invaded by aliens yesterday. We spoke to you on Skype and then Sanjay wanted to borrow a Pot Noodle off you.
I've tried teaching K9, but he's really not good with jokes.
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 19.55
Subject: Re: Phone
K9 says he remembers and it's not a joke, but he also says it's the 3rd November. So I'm not sure if his sense of humour is really strange or something weird is going on that only he can detect. I tried asking Mr Smith and he said it was definitely the 1st.
Luke
~*~*~*~
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 17.15
Subject: K9
This is going to sound really odd, but K9 says you bounced a beam from a ray gun using your mobile phone and broke it today. I can't tell if he's joking, it's hard to tell with his sense of humour.
I tried calling you, but it goes straight to voice mail.
Luke
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.18
Subject: Re: K9
He's right, I did. I was just going to email you about it when I saw yours. I'd call you but I can't remember your number. How does K9 know about it?
You should know by now he doesn't have a sense of humour. I tried teaching him, goodness knows why I bothered.
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 18.24
Subject: Re: K9
He says we're stuck in a time loop and not to do it when the next loop comes round. If he wasn't K9 I'd say he's gone mad.
Luke
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.32
Subject: Re: K9
I think he is mad. How am I supposed to remember not to break my phone when I don't remember being in a time loop?
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 18.40
Subject: Re: K9
He says he has a plan but won't tell me what it is. Maybe we should just wait and see.
Luke
~*~*~*~
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.20
Subject: Phone
Ugh, not a good day. First I was late to school because my alarm didn't go off and then after school some guy was trying to take over the world by turning all the cats against us. Do you know how many cats there are in Bannerman Road?
We defeated him, of course, but I broke my mobile. That's the third this year! Mum'll kill me. I think I've run out of excuses now.
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 17.50
Subject: Re: Phone
That's awful. I've seen a few cats in Bannerman Road but they all run off when they see me.
What happened to your phone?
Luke
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.10
Subject: Re: Phone
I was going to use it to bounce the beam from some sort of ray gun but it made a really loud, high-pitched sound. We all had to put our hands over our ears, including the guy with the gun. But then it just exploded! Must have been something the alien did.
The gun was pretty cool, though. I'd send you a picture, but I took it on my phone. I'm drawing it now, it's definitely going in The Silver Bullet.
Clyde
~*~*~*~
Mr Smith
File: Time loop
Date: 1/11/11
Notes: That bloody dog. Again.
Author: Paranoidangel
Rating: G
Beta: hhertzof
Characters: Luke, Clyde
Spoilers: The Nightmare Man
Summary: Clyde has a bad day.
Notes: For the End of SJA ficathon. I chose Christchurch as the college Luke's at on the spurious basis that it was Hogwarts in the Harry Potter films.
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 17.20
Subject: Phone
Ugh, not a good day. First I was late to school because my alarm didn't go off, then my history homework was due and I completely forgot, and then after school some guy was trying to take over the world by turning all the cats against us. Do you know how many cats there are in Bannerman Road?
We defeated him, of course, but I broke my mobile. That's the third this year! Mum'll kill me. I think I've run out of excuses now.
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 18.20
Subject: Re: Phone
That's awful. I've seen a few cats in Bannerman Road but they all run off when they see me.
What happened to your phone?
Luke
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.27
Subject: Re: Phone
I used it to bounce the beam from some sort of ray gun. Saved my life, but I am so much poorer. I'd get a Saturday job, but too busy saving the world, you know?
The gun was pretty cool, though. I'd send you a picture, but I took it on my phone. I'm drawing it now, it's definitely going in The Silver Bullet.
Clyde
~*~*~*~
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 17.20
Subject: Phone
Ugh, not a good day. First I was late to school because my alarm didn't go off, then my history homework was due and I completely forgot, and then after school some guy was trying to take over the world by turning all the cats against us. Do you know how many cats there are in Bannerman Road?
We defeated him, of course, but I broke my mobile. That's the third this year! Mum'll kill me. I think I've run out of excuses now.
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 18.20
Subject: Re: Phone
That's awful. I've seen a few cats in Bannerman Road but they all run off when they see me.
What happened to your phone?
Luke
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.27
Subject: Re: Phone
I used it to bounce the beam from some sort of ray gun. Saved my life, but I am so much poorer. I'd get a Saturday job, but too busy saving the world, you know?
The gun was pretty cool, though. I'd send you a picture, but I took it on my phone. I'm drawing it now, it's definitely going in The Silver Bullet.
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 18.33
Subject: Re: Phone
K9's just said you did that yesterday too. I think he might be joking, it's hard to tell with his lack of a sense of humour.
Luke
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.45
Subject: Re: Phone
Of course I didn't break my phone two days in a row. It takes me longer than that to get a new one. We weren't even invaded by aliens yesterday. We spoke to you on Skype and then Sanjay wanted to borrow a Pot Noodle off you.
I've tried teaching K9, but he's really not good with jokes.
Clyde
~*~*~*~
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 17.20
Subject: Phone
Ugh, not a good day. First I was late to school because my alarm didn't go off, then my history homework was due and I completely forgot, and then after school some guy was trying to take over the world by turning all the cats against us. Do you know how many cats there are in Bannerman Road?
We defeated him, of course, but I broke my mobile. That's the third this year! Mum'll kill me. I think I've run out of excuses now.
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 18.20
Subject: Re: Phone
That's awful. I've seen a few cats in Bannerman Road but they all run off when they see me.
What happened to your phone?
Luke
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.27
Subject: Re: Phone
I used it to bounce the beam from some sort of ray gun. Saved my life, but I am so much poorer. I'd get a Saturday job, but too busy saving the world, you know?
The gun was pretty cool, though. I'd send you a picture, but I took it on my phone. I'm drawing it now, it's definitely going in The Silver Bullet.
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 18.33
Subject: Re: Phone
K9's just said you did that yesterday and the day before. I think he might be joking, it's hard to tell with his lack of a sense of humour.
Luke
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.45
Subject: Re: Phone
Of course I didn't break my phone two days in a row. It takes me longer than that to get a new one. We weren't even invaded by aliens yesterday. We spoke to you on Skype and then Sanjay wanted to borrow a Pot Noodle off you.
I've tried teaching K9, but he's really not good with jokes.
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 19.55
Subject: Re: Phone
K9 says he remembers and it's not a joke, but he also says it's the 3rd November. So I'm not sure if his sense of humour is really strange or something weird is going on that only he can detect. I tried asking Mr Smith and he said it was definitely the 1st.
Luke
~*~*~*~
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 17.15
Subject: K9
This is going to sound really odd, but K9 says you bounced a beam from a ray gun using your mobile phone and broke it today. I can't tell if he's joking, it's hard to tell with his sense of humour.
I tried calling you, but it goes straight to voice mail.
Luke
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.18
Subject: Re: K9
He's right, I did. I was just going to email you about it when I saw yours. I'd call you but I can't remember your number. How does K9 know about it?
You should know by now he doesn't have a sense of humour. I tried teaching him, goodness knows why I bothered.
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 18.24
Subject: Re: K9
He says we're stuck in a time loop and not to do it when the next loop comes round. If he wasn't K9 I'd say he's gone mad.
Luke
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.32
Subject: Re: K9
I think he is mad. How am I supposed to remember not to break my phone when I don't remember being in a time loop?
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 18.40
Subject: Re: K9
He says he has a plan but won't tell me what it is. Maybe we should just wait and see.
Luke
~*~*~*~
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.20
Subject: Phone
Ugh, not a good day. First I was late to school because my alarm didn't go off and then after school some guy was trying to take over the world by turning all the cats against us. Do you know how many cats there are in Bannerman Road?
We defeated him, of course, but I broke my mobile. That's the third this year! Mum'll kill me. I think I've run out of excuses now.
Clyde
From: Luke Smith
To: Clyde Langer
Date: 1 November 2011 17.50
Subject: Re: Phone
That's awful. I've seen a few cats in Bannerman Road but they all run off when they see me.
What happened to your phone?
Luke
From: Clyde Langer
To: Luke Smith
Date: 1 November 2011 18.10
Subject: Re: Phone
I was going to use it to bounce the beam from some sort of ray gun but it made a really loud, high-pitched sound. We all had to put our hands over our ears, including the guy with the gun. But then it just exploded! Must have been something the alien did.
The gun was pretty cool, though. I'd send you a picture, but I took it on my phone. I'm drawing it now, it's definitely going in The Silver Bullet.
Clyde
~*~*~*~
Mr Smith
File: Time loop
Date: 1/11/11
Notes: That bloody dog. Again.