It's Far From Over: Difficult Times (TJ/Cam backstory)
Title: It’s Far From Over: Difficult Times
Authors: sarah_jones & needtakehave
Rating: T
Genre: romance, drama, het, AU
Fandoms: Stargate SG-1 & Universe
Characters: Cameron Mitchell, Tamara Johansen, mentions of others
Pairings: TJ/Cam
Summary: After an amazing one-night stand TJ disappears from Cam’s life. Just when he was ready to accept that he would never see her again she shows up again. Unfortunately she is in someone elses body, using the ancient stones to communicate from the Destiny in a far away galaxy. Will they give love a chance anyway?
Author notes: This was written in an rpg, but I decided to use it as a backstory for my Crossover fic 'It's Far From Over' and post it as a story. It can be read on its own, but will have as much of an ending as SGU did.
Setting: The story is set shortly before and during SGU, but is AU. It shows some scenes in the lives of TJ & Cam.
Word count:: ~ 11.840
Disclaimer: We don’t own any of the characters or fandoms. If we did this would be canon. *g* We don’t make any money with this! We’re just writing the story for fun and hope someone else will enjoy it, too.
Spoiler Warnings: to be safe for all of SG-1 & SGU
Other Warnings: This was written in rpg format. I’ll try to turn it into more of a story format, but it might not read like a real fanfic anyway.
Thank you to my beta landiana24 for betaing this! :-)
*~*~* Series Master Post*~*~*
When: after the SGU Episode Faith (or better an AU version of it)
Where: Destiny
TJ paced in her room. Young was about to go to Earth, which meant that Cam might be coming to Destiny in exchange. If he did she would have to tell him. She had put it off too long already, hadn't told him before she went to that planet for the past weeks. There she finally told people, thus forcing herself to admit that she really was pregnant. Now that she admitted it to herself and others she needed to tell Cam as well. He deserved to know. But what if he wouldn't want a baby... and what if he did? He might never be able to hold his child in his own two hands. The whole situation was hard enough for him. She knew he was strong, knew what he had told her. He was a fighter and would never give up hope. Still, she knew he silently suffered, too. Maybe he would be better off if he didn't want the baby and left her. He could have a normal life and relationship on Earth, be with a woman, and start a family, with people that were not galaxies away.
Sighing TJ sat down on her bed, her right hand resting on her stomach, which still was almost flat. Maybe she should spare Cam all of this. This was her last chance. Maybe if she drove him away now he would make sure he never came back to Destiny. He would never have to know. He could move on and be happy. She could be the only one who continued to suffer, because she had no other choice. He did. But could she do it? Could she drive him away, when he meant everything to her? And what about what he wanted? He would want to know, wouldn't he?
Maybe it wasn't Cam who would come. Maybe it was Telford. She might not have to make a decision yet...
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Cam had been anxiously awaiting going to Destiny. Weird, he knew, since he hated body swapping. Still, he hated not seeing TJ more. He might not be in his own body, which did make him feel uncomfortable, but at least it was something.
After switching bodies, he took a second to get his bearings. Though he was told there were no side effects, he always felt like throwing up afterwards.
Standing up, he asked one of the soldiers where he could find TJ. Having his answer, he thanked the man and started walking through the ship.
TJ was just starting to think that Cam wasn't coming after all when she heard footsteps coming closer, followed by a knock. Maybe it was someone else? She wasn't sure what she hoped. She longed to see Cam, even if she wouldn't really see him. But she still hadn't made up her mind about what to do if it was him.
Walking to the door slowly she opened it. It was him. No one else in Young's body would come to her room first after arriving here.
"Hi," she said, the hint of a smile appearing on her face. Then she pulled the door open wider and stepped back, before walking to the other side of the room nervously. She had to tell him. She couldn't just not tell him! If she were him she would want to know, wouldn't she? No matter how hard it would be, she would never forgive him if he didn't tell her.
Cam walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He propped himself up on the far side of the wall and crossed his arms, watching her pace back and forth, looking as nervous as he'd ever seen her.
"You okay?" he asked, worriedly. Maybe she hadn't wanted him to come. But that couldn't be true, could it? Things were good between them, or as good as they could be considering their situation.
Hearing his voice she jumped slightly, then spun around to face him.
"There is something I need to tell you," she started swallowing hard. This was her last chance. She could break up with him now and probably do him a huge favor. Probably... probably just wasn't good enough!
"I... I'm pregnant," she blurted out before she could talk herself out of it again. Then she looked down, her fears of his rejection coming back. She had made her decision and told him. Now it was his turn. What if he didn't want to be a father? A father of a child he might never actually be face to face with, on top of that.
Cameron stared at her, stunned. He could have imagined her saying many things, both terrible and happy, like they'd found a way home or she had a terminal disease… many things, but that was not one of them. He swallowed hard, shaking himself to force himself out of the stunned state he found himself in. Staring at her, he watched the way her chest moved as she took in a breath, the way her breasts raised and lowered… breasts he'd touched, breasts that would one day become full with milk for their child. Theirs. As in hers and his.
"I'm going to be a father," he said, and with a huge exhale, took a seat in the chair in the corner before he fell down. He didn't think Young would appreciate a concussion when he came back.
TJ watched him closely. He looked surprised and shocked. Well, who wouldn't be in his situation? At least he didn't ask if it was his. That was something, right?
"Yes," she said, her voice shaking slightly as she waited in anticipation for any kind of sign of how he felt about it. She didn't even know if he liked kids or ever wanted any.
Cam wanted to rush to her side and spin her around in glee. Sure, he hadn't planned on having any kids anytime soon but hey, you just couldn't plan for everything. What stopped him from doing just that was the fact that it was starting to sink in that she was on a ship in a different galaxy with no way home. Oh sure, he always knew that. No, it wasn't that generally. It was the fact that now something important, beyond their own relationship, was in the balance, his child's life, a child he'd never really see except through another man’s eyes, and never often enough. He'd miss basically everything. Plus, living on a ship with no other kids, what kind of life was that for a child growing up? He was torn between happiness and complete and utter horror. Taking a breath, he set his jaw and stood up. Going over to her, he squatted in front of her and took her hand in his. Tilting her head up with his finger under her chin, he looked deeply into her eyes.
TJ watched the emotions run over his face, never quite sure what they meant. Part of her wanted to yell at him to finally say or do something, another dreaded what he might say. Then he moved and looked at her.
"We'll make it work," was all he said, as if that said everything.
With that statement she knew that it was hard for him. The situation sucked, but he was going to stick around, which meant he wanted the child. Otherwise he could just walk away. It wasn't like sticking around for the baby's sake and doing the right thing would do any good with him being on Earth. The only reason he would say those words was that he wanted them to be a family, but knew it couldn't be in the way he wished it was.
"I'm sorry," she said wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close.
He nodded, wrapping his arms around her and pressing closer.
"And yes, we'll make it work... somehow. We'll find a way to come home to you. I know we will. Never give up, right? I'll kick Eli and Rush's ass if I have to, to make them figure this out." It was her time to help him through this now, she knew that. It was all hard on her, but for the first time their situation was harder on him than her. She could be with the baby all the time. He couldn't. It was as simple as that.
"I'm sorry too, for both of us. But hey, look at it this way, it will give you a reason to not give up hope, right?" he said, in a joking way as it was entirely a sad situation. "Bad joke," he added, giving her a 'what can you do?' smile. "Right. We'll make this work," he repeated, this time more to himself than to her, like if he said it often enough, he'd start to believe it.
She smiled slightly at his words. "I'll never give up." She wouldn't for her own sake, but even if she might, she would never give up now, for his sake. She'd do anything for him. It scared her a little how much she felt for him, even though they still hardly knew each other, but she also enjoyed it. Having him was what kept her sane through all of this.
"And yes, we will," she agreed, a bit more forcefully, as if by saying it she could actually make things better.
She then gently touched his face. It wasn't really his face, but in that moment she didn't care. She knew what he looked like and in her mind she saw him.
"I love you." She no longer cared if it was too soon, if she shouldn't love him already. She did, with her whole heart. And maybe hearing it would make this mess a tiny bit better for him. Then she leaned in and kissed him, not caring whose body he was in at the moment.
He gasped not because she kissed him but at the shock of her pronouncement. He pulled back, taking her hand.
"God, I love you too. And you're having my baby," he said, pulling her to him and spinning her around a few times. Yeah, so okay, he had decided to go with the happy option… better than sitting here being depressed. A child was a miracle, something to be celebrated, wasn't it? Wouldn't it be an insult to their future child not to be happy about it, no matter the circumstances?
His statement made her smile widely. When he pulled her in and spun her around she laughed, all her worries forgotten for a moment.
"Yes, I am," she said grinning. "But if you don't stop this I'm going to be sick." She still grinned, so he knew she was teasing, but it was also true. She had felt sick a lot of times lately. It was better though, since she went to the planet. The healthy food they found there helped.
"So, any ideas for a name?" she then asked suddenly. Who knew how much time they would be able to spend together. Better start with the planning right away.
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When: Around the end of SGU season 1/start of season 2
Where: Earth & Destiny
It was almost 9 months now. Soon his child would arrive. Cam carried mixed emotions ranging from terror to sheer happiness. He never could decide which one to go with on a permanent basis. Then, the unthinkable happened; Destiny had been invaded. He'd gone on a rampage, demanding from every top official he could find, including O'Neill, to send him over, but of course, no one would. It was too dangerous. Everyone needed to be in their own bodies, which they were most familiar with. There was nothing he would be able to do anyway.
Cam had climbed the walls for days. But as bad as those days had been, the fear for TJ and their unborn child, it was nothing compared to the terror he felt when O’Neill personally came to him and told him that TJ had been shot and went into early labor. If he'd been on the warpath before, it was nothing like now. Luckily, O’Neill managed to make Cam realize that they weren't going to hold him back this time, that they'd gotten control and he could go switch bodies now and be with her. It didn't take any time at all after that. He raced through the halls to the ancient stones. After switching bodies, he ran all the way to the med bay. As he paused at the doorway, his eyes searched the room.
"TJ?" he called out, almost uncertain, suddenly afraid it might be worse than he had originally thought.
TJ lay on a bed, drifting in and out of consciousness for... she had no idea how long. The events of the past days were replaying in her head. They had been invaded and things went from bad to worse when she was shot. She didn't remember much after that. When she woke up again for the first time she thought the worst had happened, until Dr. Keller assured her that her daughter was fine. A daughter! Now she was waiting for them to bring her to her. And Cam... why wasn't he here? Wouldn't they let him come? Had something happened to him? Surely she couldn't be that unlucky? Then someone suddenly called her name, and somehow TJ knew without a doubt that it was him. It wasn't his voice of course, but for some reason she could still tell.
"Cam?" she asked her voice hoarse.
Finally seeing her Cam rushed to her side, taking her hand in his.
TJ smiled slightly when he took her hand. He was here, and he was safe. That was all that mattered.
"Are you okay?" he asked, swallowing hard, his eyes travelling from her head to her feet. Then his eyes jerked back to her stomach which was considerably smaller now. It felt like time stopped, along with his breathing. His face paled and his mouth felt like cotton.
"I'm okay," TJ said though her voice sounded weak.
"You... lost it," Cam whispered, feeling as if he was being ripped into two. Sure, he'd been happy about the baby, though the circumstances couldn't be worse, but to lose it? He realized he'd wanted it more than he knew, now that it was gone.
TJ was still trying to fight off the drowsiness when she heard his words. Her eyes fluttered open and the drowsiness seemed to vanish as she heard the pain in his voice.
"No! Cam, she's okay."
Cam swallowed hard, eyes moving to hers when she said she hadn't lost he baby, that he'd been wrong. My god, but he'd never been so happy to be wrong before.
At that moment Dr. Keller walked up to them, a tiny baby in her arms.
"Yes, she is. She actually got through this ordeal better than her mother." She smiled. "Lucky kid. You want to hold her?"
Smiling at the doctor, Cam took the little girl from her arms and into his own. She was so tiny, so beautiful, and his.
"She's so small… and beautiful, like her mother. God, TJ, I can't believe we made this."
A smile appeared on TJ's face when Cam took their daughter, their little Hope.
"I'm glad we did," she said, feeling happier than she had in a long time. Seeing her daughter she couldn't imagine anymore how she could ever have felt like getting pregnant was horrible. It was amazing. Hope was amazing. She reached out with her hand and gently touched her daughter’s. Then she looked at Cam happily.
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When: towards the end of SGU season 2
Where: Destiny
TJ sat in a chair watching her daughter sleep, her thoughts in uproar. She had ALS. Of course she did, and of course there was a cure but they didn't get it. Why would she ever get a break and be lucky? Whenever something good happened something way worse came along and beat her down again. She had quit the Stargate Program, but too late. She met Cam, but got stuck in another galaxy and couldn't really be with him. She got pregnant, had an amazing daughter but would not be able to see her grow up. She would die. It wasn't fair! It wasn't fair to her, wasn't fair to Hope and especially not to Cam, who was so far away and would not be able to do anything. He couldn't help her and would not be able to be there for Hope afterwards. She knew it would kill him. That they almost made it back to Earth, but didn't, had taken its toll on him already. They were so close. Telford had made it back, but no one else. Cam waited in front of the Stargate for them and they didn't come. Of course he said they would find another way, that they wouldn't give up hope, that they would fight, just like they always had, but it was harder than ever. And now this. How could she tell him? How could she do this to him? How much more could he take? Tears started to run down her cheeks as TJ finally couldn't hold it in any longer.
Cam had switched with Young again to be able to go visit TJ and their daughter, Hope. She was growing up so fast. Next thing he knew, he'd blink and she'd be a teenager.
He watched TJ from the doorway, her back to him, sitting in a chair, rocking back and forth. He watched her watch their daughter who looked to be sleeping in the makeshift bassinet.
"Sleeping beauty, that's what she is," he whispered, so he didn't startle TJ or wake the baby.
TJ almost jumped out of her chair, startled, and then quickly wiped away her tears, trying to hide the evidence of her breakdown. She didn't think Young would say something like that, so Cam must have switched bodies with him again. He really had bad timing. She didn't want him to see her like this. It was bad enough that she would break his heart; she didn't want to do it crying. She had to be strong for him.
Cameron was concerned when she turned away from him after she got up. She must know it was him, right? Then he saw a glimpse of tears as she was turning away and his jaw clenched.
"What's wrong, TJ?" he asked, taking her by the arm and pulling her around into his arms and against his chest.
"Why are you crying, baby?" he asked, his lips against her hair. He'd thought she'd be happy to see him, not crying.
Hearing his words almost broke her heart. She couldn't do this, couldn't tell him. She would only hurt him. He didn't need to know, not now. There was still time. He could still be happy a while longer and maybe they would even find a cure. They were searching Destiny's databases. There could be something in there. Or they'd find Novus survivors. They would have taken their medical knowledge with them. There was hope... Leaning into Cam's embrace she wrapped her arms around him.
"It's n..." She almost said nothing, but that would be a lie. "It's not important right now, and it'll be fine." She said, wishing that her words would make it true. "Now I'm just happy that you're here."
Cameron frowned down at her. Something was the matter, he knew it. "Are you sure?" he asked, not about her being happy to see him, but nothing being the matter and her being fine. She didn't seem fine. He tilted her chin up. "What wrong?"
TJ sighed. She hated keeping something from him, hated not telling him what he wanted to know. Since they were together she had been able to tell him everything. There were no secrets between them. How could she keep something so big from him now? She wanted to tell him. Talking to him always made things easier, and it was all they really could do. Talking was kind of their thing, since they both felt that it would be wrong to do 'other things' while one of them was not in their own body. If she stopped talking to him now, what would be left of their relationship, what would be left of them? She would kind of take what they had away from him even sooner, wouldn't she?
"Cam, I... I found out something a few days ago, something about me." She sighed again and let go of him. "Maybe you should sit down."
Cam frowned, taking a seat in the chair she had left. He took a deep breath before saying, "Okay, I'm sitting down. Lay it on me." What could she possibly have to say about herself? She couldn't be pregnant again, they didn't have sex. What else was there really?
TJ took a deep breath, trying to keep her face blank. She couldn't break down now and it was too late to back out.
"I... I have ALS," she said, then waited, watching his face to see his reaction. Did he even know what it was? She was a medic, so she knew. Would he? Maybe he wouldn't, or he at least wouldn't know how bad it would get.
Cam searched his memory, trying to remember if he'd heard that before. Not that he could remember, but it had to be something, some kind of disease or something, the way she said it.
He frowned. "Okay, so, what? It's some kind of disease? Surely there has to be a cure, I mean, with all the knowledge of the Stargate Program and cures and stuff from other planets. We have a whole database full of it." They had Atlantis!
"There is no cure, not on Earth," she said. They never found one. "We haven't found one in Destiny's database... yet. But we aren't giving up. There is still so much we haven't been able to look at since we managed to access it." She tried to sound positive, even though she knew there was no way of knowing if the Ancients even could get ALS and might have tried finding a cure.
"There are people in this Galaxy who found a cure, but their planet was destroyed before we could access their medical database. Some of the people left the planet years ago. Maybe we can find them in time. I'm sure they would have the information we need to make a cure." Again, she tried to sound hopeful, to make this whole situation at least a tiny bit easier on him.
He frowned before lurching to his feet to pace.
TJ's eyes were fixed on him as he processed what she told him. When he jumped up and started pacing she waited, giving him space.
"There has to be a cure!" he said, though not really to her. "I'll ask Daniel, he has to know something, he was an ancient at one time. Besides, he's a scientist, he can find it. I know he can. He has to!" he said.
Cam swung back around to her. "What, you're just going to die? You can't die TJ, you haven't made it back yet and Hope.... who will raise Hope? I can't do it and...." he trailed off as anger and pain became too much. Swallowing, he went to the wall and slammed his fist into it, bloodying his knuckles, but he barely felt a thing because of the intense pain in his heart. "You can't leave me," he whispered, still facing the wall, palms flat against it.
Hearing his words her heart seemed to shatter into a thousand tiny pieces. She wanted to tell him that everything would be okay, wanted to promise that they would find a cure, but he'd know, wouldn't he, that they were just words, words and wishful thinking. Still, they couldn't give up hope. They were fighters. They wouldn't give up; they never had and never would. She wouldn't let him give up. Walking towards him she placed a hand on his shoulder and with the other gently took his bleeding hand into hers.
"I won't, not without a fight," she promised. "There is a cure, we know that much. We'll just have to find it." She leaned into him, resting her cheek against his shoulder for a moment.
"Right.... we just have to find it. Damn, Young is going to be pissed when gets back," Cam muttered, looking at the hand.
"He'll understand," TJ said. She had no doubt he would. By now she and Young had managed to leave the past behind and had started to become friends, plus she was his team member and they all had become like family on this ship. She was pretty sure Young would completely understand his urge to hit a wall.
Turning to look into TJ's eyes, Cam asked one of the hardest questions ever. "What if we don't find the cure? What then… for Hope?" He hated asking it, but they couldn't be those type of people who always said it was going to work out, going to be okay, and never plan for the possibility it wouldn’t be, and then when it was not okay, and someone died, their kids were left with nowhere to go, no one to take care of them because their parents were in a dream world all the time.
At his question she swallowed. "Hope will be taken care of. We're like a family here. They are always here for us, even now. They might even fight over who gets to keep her," she said in a lousy attempt at making a joke. "Chloe and Scott would make good parents, or Eli." They even did, in that other reality.
He nodded at her answer though it didn't mean much to him. Yes, he knew the bios of the crew members, since he came here often enough and was in charge when he was here. He saw them at various times while on the ship or sometimes if they needed him to handle something while here and in command. But really, he didn't know these people, any of them, and couldn't say who would make good parents or not. Then he looked at her with a look of panic.
"What about me? Would I still get to see her?" Maybe they wouldn't want him to visit anymore, if TJ really died, though God knew he was hoping what they'd said was true… that they found the cure and she lived but if not...
TJ wrapped her arms around him. "Of course you would," she said. There was absolutely no question about that. "They all know you're her father. They would never keep her from you. And I'm sure they'd all love to get to know you." Maybe she should make sure they did. And it would be good for Cam to get to know them, too, let him see that he could trust them.
"I think I shouldn't always keep you all to myself when you're here. How about we go meet some people." It would probably do him some good. Someone else might be able to cheer him up better than she could right now. Eli... he would manage it with one of his cheeky comments, or Greer with his grumpy military attitude. "Come, let’s get your hand bandaged up, and then I'll properly introduce you to my... family."
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When: end of SGU season 2
Where: Destiny
Cam had been told about the rash of attacks on Destiny when they went to get supplies or recharge Destiny with a sun. Then Young had needed to come over for a debriefing, because apparently they were all going into stasis pods. He hadn't been able to get too many more details beyond that since time was sensitive. So, he would go and ask TJ. Switching over, he walked into TJ's room where she seemed to be packing, though for a stasis pod, you wouldn't need clothes.
"What’s going on? What do they mean you're going into a pod? What if it doesn't work and you and Hope die?" he demanded, feeling as helpless as he always did.
TJ turned around when she heard him. "Cam," she said, a small smile appearing on her face as she rushed over and hugged him.
"We're not going to die. The stasis pods are perfectly safe. Rush and Eli both examined them thoroughly," she told him, while holding on to him, as if she feared that he might disappear and slip away from her forever. And he might... if things went wrong, if Eli's calculations were even a tiny bit incorrect they would not make it to the next Galaxy in 3 years, as planned. If things went wrong they would lose power, come out of FTL early and drift the rest of the way to the next galaxy, making their journey about a thousand years. It wouldn't affect them in their stasis pods. They would have enough power left for them, but by the time they woke up everyone they knew on Earth would be long dead and gone, including Cam. She might lose him forever. The thought scared her more than anything ever did. Now she knew how he felt when he found out about her ALS. But at least he would get to live a healthy life on Earth, not die a horrible death like she was still facing, especially since leaving this Galaxy behind also meant leaving behind the only people they knew had a cure for ALS.
She sighed, trying to push away all negative thoughts. She could still sulk after Cam left.
"We are attempting an early jump to the next Galaxy, which is rather far away. We are going into FTL in a few days, which means there will be no more stops for supplies. Destiny can make it to the next Galaxy, but we wouldn't be able to. So we are going into Stasis pods," she summed it all up briefly.
"We'll reach the next Galaxy in 3 years..." Or a thousand, she added in thoughts, not sure if she should tell him that, but she knew she had to. He would find out eventually anyway. Homeworld Command knew. "...if everything goes as planned."
"If everything goes as planned.... that sounds so reassuring!" he yelled, lying through his teeth.
He sighed and sat down. "If not, what? You wake up a lot later and I'm already dead? Well, nothing better go wrong then."
TJ sighed. She knew how he felt, knew that it was not reassuring at all. The whole situation sucked, just like always. She wished she could say or do something to make him feel better, but she couldn't. There was nothing that would make this better.
"I'm afraid so," she said silently. He had figured that out all by himself. She wasn't really surprised. He worked for the SGC; he knew how things like that were. If someone calculated something wrong in their line of work it usually didn't result in small consequences, it ended in huge ones.
"Yeah, nothing better go wrong," she agreed. She wasn't ready to lose him. As hard as everything had been since she came to Destiny, she knew it would be way harder without Cam.
"You better still be around when we wake up," she said, then looked up at him. "We kinda need you."
He smiled at her suddenly. "I kinda need you too," he said with a wink. Then he went over to their daughter, who was sleeping, and stroked his finger down her cheek.
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...to be continued in 'It's Far From Over'...
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