FIC: PG - Space Dust

[sanguefic]

Title: space dust 1/1
Author: sangueuk
Rating: PG
Character/Pairing: Jim Kirk (AOS), gen
Wordcount: approx 1,500 words complete
Summary: some hours after the Nerada, Jim’s alone for the first time
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: I mean no offence and court no profits,
Author’s notes: This was written in response to challenge # 9 at st11forxi - There and Back Again

Comments

[lindmere]

Oh, this is absolutely gorgeous--so intense and completely believable! I love all the little details, from Jim reacting in horror to finding Pike's uniform shirts in the drawer to thinking that his mother and he will be on the same wavelength about his experience, even after all these years.

The cat with fucking nine lives - he has to smile, that the only metaphor which fits, is a creature he’s allergic to

Jim's sense of irony about himself shows a lot of self-knowledge, a quality I always thought was one of TOS Kirk's strengths.

There’s some shitty, corporate art on one wall - a massive, blood red piece of shit that looks like an open wound.

First, I know exactly what you mean by that, and second, it really heightens Jim's sense of alienation and not having "bonded" with the Enterprise yet.

He doesn’t think he’s been bitten by anything in the past twenty-four hours, but he’s lost track.

I have to admit, I wondered about this--do you think it was supposed to be knuckle prints? I haven't been in enough fist fights to know!

[sangueuk]

Wow! I love detailed fb, thank you! It's hard for me to just post and run, but this just flowed this morning and, while I accept it's flawed, I wanted to contribute before the challenge is over so I'm glad it worked.

1. I may have to draw him standing looking at the star field!
2. I tend to make him instantly great, but obviously he's still young and has a lot to learn. I think, in some ways, he is instantly great. I think we all have self-knowledge, our sub-conscious speaks to us all the time. Trouble is, it often takes extreme events to make us listen, to look up and acknowledge. From what we know about how Jim led his life before, I suggest maybe he's fighting, drinking, fucking in order that he needn't look inwards.
3. I'm pretty sure they're knuckle-prints, of course. We saw what happened to him, but for Jim it must have been one, adrenaline fuelled blur, so it was me kind of nodding to the reader/viewer.

Thank you so much for this comment - I've really enjoyed this challenge!

[lindmere]

Oh, yes, please draw him this way! *Happy sigh*

[yeomanrand]

I have to admit, I wondered about this--do you think it was supposed to be knuckle prints? I haven't been in enough fist fights to know!

I've never been in a fist fight, but:
The placement of Jim's facial injuries is more-or-less correct; yes, he ended up looking like he'd been bitten, but there's a reason the eyes are sunken in to the skull; cheekbones and eyebrows are developed to protect the much softer and more critical orbs.

I am probably sick and weird for knowing this.

And sangueuk, this was awesome and heartbreaking and I agree with what lindmere says. :)

[claudia_nic]

Absolutely heartbreaking and still gorgeous.

[sangueuk]

Thank you, bb - glad you liked it!

[blue_jack]

Oh man, Jim finally taking the time to breathe. *winces* Poor guy.

[sangueuk]

I'd love a scene like this for every one of the bridge crew. The fallout out fascinates me. Thanks for reading!

[weepingnaiad]

Oh, bb! This was gorgeous! I love the little touches, the art on the wall, the wince at seeing Pike's gold shirt, the apple scented gel, his toes! The cat, who he's allergic to, made me smile, but I love that Jim is self-aware, that he is cognizant of his own failings and how so many little things lined up to get him to this point and how he still felt like a stranger in a strange land, but that'd never stop him from seizing the moment and making the most of it.

I suck at grabbing things that touch me, but I think him standing naked there before the stars and thinking he was just a speck of dust was so revealing and really captured the essence of the aftermath of that moment of self-revelation.

Beautifully done!
*hugs*
WN

[sangueuk]

I love this comment to pieces - you say you 'suck' at grabbing things that touch me - not at all. I feel quite moved that you shared all the parts you loved. It's very humbling, thank you, sweetie!

[syredronning]

What they all said - it's really gorgeous, touching, realistic and surreal all at once. Lovely.

[sangueuk]

Thank you my darling! It's so much quicker to write when there's no lube involved and I don't have to worry about dialogue or re-arranging limbs! XD