Ringing in the New Year - Part II
Title: Ringing in the New Year Part II.
I actually went to post the whole thing but it was too large, so I'm splitting it into two parts.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Ryan Murphy...you know the rest. Who was it who recently asked: "Do we really need to put this in here anymore?" LOL.
Rating: NC-17 for naughty bits-a rarity for me.
Word Count: 10,161. According to Wikipedia, that makes it officially a 'novelette', LOL.
Continuity: This is next in line after 'In The Wee Hours', which was the final part of the Christmas Get-Together series.
A/N: Many thanks to Redlance for some much needed writing therapy when I was wondering if this story would ever get finished. And also to Splendid for inspiring me to write this in the first place. And BTW, did I mention that I love the super!Bram verse?
A/N II: Don't forget: '09 is the Year of Bram.
Summary: Sam and Brooke enjoy their new relationship as they welcome 2002.
Ringing in the New Year - Part II
Sam knocked at Harrison’s door the next afternoon, bouncing nervously on the balls of her feet. Harrison’s mother Robin answered the door. Hey Sam! she beamed.
Hi, Mrs. John, she replied. Is Harrison home?
He’s upstairs, she nodded. It’s so good to see you! Robin let her in and pulled Sam into a hug. Sam felt a pang of guilt. Mrs. John had been a second mother to her for most of her life, and she’d shut her out of her life as well.
And she felt doubly stupid now: Robin was gay. She had gone through all of the questioning and isolation that Sam had suffered through for months. It would have been good to talk to her.
You always were slow... Brooke’s voice echoed in her mind.
Sam knocked on the door jamb of Harrison’s door. He looked up from whatever he was reading at his desk. Hey, Sam. His expression was a mystery, and she realized just how long it had been since they’d hung out together-since they’d been friends.
She used to read his expression as easily as a mood ring. But ever since that fiasco with the prom, and then the accident, she’d let Harrison disappear from her life.
In fairness to herself, it hadn’t been unilateral. Harrison had faded away from her as much as she had from him.
Hey, Harrison. I wanted to talk to you.
I’m right here, Sam, he shrugged. I always have been.
So this is how it’s going to be, Sam thought to herself. She suddenly regretted refusing Brooke’s offer of coming with her. But that would have guaranteed an antagonistic situation. Still, she could always walk over to the open window and shout: Honey, help!
The thought cheered her up a bit. And then she realized that she could call Brooke ‘honey’ or ‘sweetheart’ or whatever she wanted while her best friend growing up was left out in the cold. She could very easily imagine how he felt. It’s how she had expected to feel for the rest of her life.
I know I haven’t been a very good friend lately, she confessed. I’m sorry. I’ve been going through a lot of--
You don’t have to apologize to me, Sam, he interjected. I haven’t exactly been around much either. I figured you needed your space.
Sam sat down on the bed facing him. The best way to do this was just to say it. Harrison, this year I realized that I’m-that I’m gay. She looked up at him, but his expression hadn’t changed.
Say something, she laughed. You’re just staring at me like a...like a doofus.
That got a reaction. He chuckled, and looked away for a moment before meeting her eyes again. But now the light was back in them when it looked at her. Her Harrison was back, even if only for a second.
I knew that, he answered-and then thought about his statement. Well, I guessed, he amended. He went on to clarify: I knew that if you weren’t gay, you had at least fallen in love with someone who was also a girl.
Sam studied him. Did he know? How did he know? She decided to put it out there. Brooke...
Harrison nodded.
How did you know?
It was Harrison’s turn to scrutinize her. You don’t remember the night of the accident, do you? he appraised her.
Sam faltered. It wasn’t one of her favorite subjects. No, not-not all of it, she began. Harrison waited for her to elaborate. I remember the headlights lighting her up, and I remember running up to her-not knowing if she was already--
Her breath caught in her throat and tears welled in her eyes. Just thinking about it threatened to release the emotions of that night. I remember being at the hospital, waiting to hear whether she would make it.
I’m sorry, he said. I wasn’t trying to upset you, Sam. I was just... he paused. That’s when I learned how you felt about Brooke. He too looked uncomfortable dredging up the memories of that night. When you followed her out and then--
I was stunned when it happened. I-I could barely move. When I caught up you were already with her...
His eyes took on a faraway look as he peered into the past. I’d never seen you like that: hysterical. You were frantic-begging-pleading with her and with God for her not to die.
He looked up at her. You told her you couldn’t live without her and that--
...that I needed her, and-and that I loved her... Sam remembered-her voice hollow with despair. The memories of that moment had come rushing back to her, and the tears fell because there was no way she could stop them. For an instant she was back on the road as Brooke’s life seeped out of her. Oh God!
Sam? Harrison called out to her, but she could barely hear him. Her vision was clouding around her.
She had to get out of there, and hoped her shaking legs would hold as she got to her feet. Harrison was saying something on the periphery of her senses, trying to apologize or something.
It’s not your fault, she cut him off. I just remembered--
I’m sorry. Harrison, I’ve got to go. It’s just too much right now. She reminded herself that she had come to tell him about her and Brooke, but it was too overwhelming. The pain of the accident was as fresh as it was on prom night. It was encapsulated within the memory, and recalling that moment felt like it was happening all over again. I gotta go! Sam said, and made for the door before she threw up.
Sam? Harrison’s mother called out as she ran by. What’s wrong? Sam was sobbing now, unable even to answer.
* * *
Brooke was in the family room, trying anything to take her mind off of where Sam was when a crying, disheveled mess came into the house and made a bee-line straight for her.
Sam? she asked, trying to keep her voice even despite the horrible sickness welling in her stomach.
The brunette walked right up to her and wrapped her arms around her, holding on for dear life. Sam? She was at a loss to venture what Harrison could have said to make her this upset, but couldn’t really delve into it at that exact instant. As it was, they had some explaining to do.
Did we miss something? Jane asked from across the room. Brooke felt Sam stiffen in her arms. What’s wrong?
Sam, is everything okay? What happened? Mike added. Thankfully, their voices were more concerned than suspicious.
What’s got you so upset? Brooke questioned, trying to sound as casual as she could given the fact that love of her life was falling to pieces.
Sam separated from Brooke, and wiped her nose. I’m sorry, she addressed Mike and her mother. My memories from the night of the accident are kind of sketchy, she began. I just had a flashback or something-and it was like being there all over again.
Oh Sam, her mother consoled her.
Oh God, Brooke lamented. She had learned in the past few days just how badly the accident had affected Sam, but was helpless to comfort her now. Thanks for being so concerned about me, Brooke said stupidly-cursing herself for sounding like a politician. She had to reach out to the brunette-make some contact at least-and put a hand on her shoulder. The poor girl was trembling, and she looked at Brooke beseechingly, needing a lifeline.
Brooke’s heart shattered. But she couldn’t: not with Dad and Jane standing right there-already wondering about their odd behavior. Surely Sammy knew that, right?
Or did she just say the hell with it and take Sam and hold her until the storm passed and then face the consequences?
Sam took the decision out of her hands. I’m going upstairs, she announced as she marched away from all of them. She took the stairs two at a time and Brooke heard the door slam.
I’d forgotten how devastated she was the night of your accident, Brooke, her father said. He addressed Jane: Didn’t she have to be treated for shock?
Jane nodded. I hadn’t seen her like that since...well, since Joe died.
As much as you two fought, I knew then that deep down she really did care about you, Mike said.
Brooke couldn’t take anymore. Jane, is it all right if I check on her? She’s got me worried.
Of course, Brooke. Jane nodded. I was just about to, but I think she’ll feel better if it’s you.
It was all Brooke could do to not take the stairs three at a time.
She rushed to Sam’s room praying that the door was unlocked-that Sam hadn’t shut her out. The brunette was an expert at hurting alone.
Sam? Brooke found her sitting on the floor of her room curled into a ball. She looked up, tears streaming down her face. Brooke locked the door, went over to the brunette, and wrapped herself around her there on the floor.
Sam collapsed completely into her, weeping like a child.
Brooke didn’t bother to remind her that she was still here-that she had survived. Sam was reliving that night as if it were happening all over again. But at least now she could be there for Sam like she couldn’t then-because that night she lay dying and it had been up to Sam to save her life.
She rocked the love of her life back and forth, cradling her gently, never suspecting that she was returning the favor.
After a while (minutes? hours?) the tears abated and Sam lay silent in her arms.
How are you feeling? Brooke asked.
Better, Sam replied, her voice husky with emotion. I hope I didn’t blow it with Mom and Mike.
I don’t think you did. They were more worried than anything, Brooke answered. And if they figure it out we’ll come clean and deal with it, she shrugged.
Just like that?
Just like that, Brooke nodded. The way you looked tonight my only concern right now is that you’re okay.
I’m sorry, Sam confessed. I don’t mean to be such a basket case.
Sammy, don’t be silly. I can’t even imagine what that must have been like to witness that. And I’m sorry that I never realized before how much the accident affected you.
I’ll be fine, Sam insisted stubbornly. Brooke would have shaken her head in frustration if it wasn’t locked into position against Sam’s. As long as I have this to remind me that you’re okay.
Sam squeezed her tighter, and Brooke let it go for now. How did it go with Harrison? she broached.
He knew.
Really? Brooke was surprised.
She felt Sam nod against her. About me, anyway, Sam amended. The night of the prom he heard me telling you that I needed you-and that I loved you when we were waiting for the ambulance. The brunette took a deep, shuddering breath and exhaled slowly before continuing. When he was telling me about it: that’s when the memory came back. I didn’t have a chance to tell him about us. I was freakin’ out, and just wanted to get out of there before I started screaming and lost it completely.
His poor Mom probably thinks I had a breakdown or-- she chuckled, Or that he tried to rape me or something. Poor guy’s probably getting the third degree right now...
It seemed so real, Brooke. It was like I was there all over again, and you were-- Sam couldn’t finish the sentence.
You saved my life that night, Brooke told her. Sam didn’t answer, but she felt the brunette shift to listen. I don’t remember much about that night either, to be honest. But I always remembered a voice telling me to hold on, and for the longest time I never knew who that voice belonged to, Brooke smiled.
It was you, Sammy. You kept me there. You made me hold on. You saved me, Brooke acknowledged.
Sam was quiet for a moment. It was self-preservation, she professed, because I knew at that moment that I couldn’t live without you.
Brooke looked up at a knock at the door. Sam? It was Jane. Are you okay in there?
Sam disengaged from the warm nest of long arms and legs. Brooke got up and sat on the bed while Sam unlocked the door. I’m okay, Mom, she half-lied. Jane embraced her daughter, and Brooke smiled.
She looked away to give them a moment, and focused her attention on Sam’s pillows. She’d discovered that one of them was much more comfortable than the other. She patted both pillows experimentally, and then flip-flopped them so that the comfy one was on her side of the bed.
Thank you, Brooke, for taking care of Sam, Jane called out her. She looked up to see Jane watching her.
Always, Brooke smiled. She felt funny inside-kind of tipsy all of a sudden-and had the strongest desire to simply tell Jane that she loved her daughter, and that she’d always take care of her. Probably not the smartest thing to do, though.
I just wanted to check on you and make sure you’re all right, she smiled to Sam. Don’t stay up too late tonight, okay? You two need to get your sleep patterns back to normal.
We will, Sam nodded.
Jane left and Sam shut the door behind her. She waited a few moments, listening for Jane’s footsteps to fade, before she locked it again.
Brooke patted the bed, and smiled. C’mon, Sammy, let’s take your Mom’s advice and hit the sack early.
Brooke, I don’t know if I--
Just to sleep, sweetheart, Brooke assured her. It’s been a long day for both of us.
Smiling, Sam peeled off her clothes, and they climbed into bed together.
Although... Brooke broached, did you ever hear that song ‘Sexual Healing’?
Brooke, Sam warned.
What? Can I help it that all the songs on the radio are suddenly about you?
Sam laughed out loud. What? Brooke asked.
That’s how Lily figured out I was in love, Sam began, there was some cheesy song on the radio and I got upset when she turned it.
Were you thinking about me? Brooke grinned.
Uh-huh, Sam nodded. The songs on the radio have all been about you for a long time, the brunette confessed.
That’s my Sammy, Brooke smiled. She nuzzled into the brunette’s neck, and started singing a fair rendition of ‘Sexual Healing’-at least as many words as she knew.
Brooke! Sam protested-squirming as Brooke tickled her neck. They laughed late into the night.
* * *
Mike and Jane got ready for bed, and Jane was a bit preoccupied. There was something going on with her daughter-and with Brooke too come to think of it.
The look on Sam’s face when she’d come home tonight had scared her. Sam hadn’t looked that way since Joe died. If everyone hadn’t been safely at home and accounted for, Jane would have guessed that something had happened to Mike or Brooke.
Jane felt a stab of guilt thinking back on the night of the prom. She’d been so worried thinking about Brooke-and being there for Mike-that she hadn’t really thought about what Sam was going through. The two girls had grown close in the months preceding the accident. And Sam had been the only witness-other than Nicole-what must that have been like for her: to see Brooke’s body broken--
She shivered, needing to think about something else.
Jane... Mike ventured. She looked over at him. He’d been quiet tonight, and looked like he was having difficulty articulating whatever was on his mind.
Nothing, he finally said. Must be getting senile, he grinned.
She smiled back, and pulled back the covers. She fluffed her--
Waitaminute. She reached over to Mike’s side of the bed as he was always trying to steal her good pillow. Nice try, she told him, and flip-flopped the comfy pillow to her side of the...
Jane stared at the pillow, thinking about Brooke mimicking that same action. What else could the girl have been doing? She searched for any other reasonable explanation and came up lacking. And that was just one piece of the puzzle: there was the pillow, Sam’s strange behavior tonight, their close relationship of late. Could it be...? Was it possible that Brooke and Sam had become Brooke and Sam...?
Nahh, she dismissed the thought and shook her head at herself. What was she thinking? That was ridiculous.
Senility, she reasoned, must be contagious.
* * *
The next couple of days passed without event. Jane and Dad seemed to accept Sam’s explanation of the incident at face value. Still, Brooke couldn’t help but feel they were being scrutinized more than normal, and she and Sam were very careful over the following couple of days. Not once was Sam molested in the kitchen.
Well, okay, once. But Brooke looked in the garage beforehand to make sure that both cars were gone this time.
They had spent that entire night curled up in bed together. Brooke held Sam until she finally fell asleep-emotionally and physically drained-and thankfully slumbered without dreaming. They awoke early enough the next morning to join Jane and her father for bacon and waffles.
Jane suggested counseling for Sam at breakfast the next morning. Brooke jumped at the idea-she had seen the counselors while in the hospital, and they had been as much a part of her recovery as the physical therapist.
There was counseling for the victims-and often times the assailant-but what about the loved ones who were affected? She knew it would help Sam to see a counselor, but the brunette flatly refused.
Brooke let it go for the time being. She would warm Sam up to the idea gradually. The brunette had just as many scars from that night as she did, but no one noticed because all of hers were on the inside.
Sam was back to her old self on New Year’s Eve. As her Dad and Jane got ready-packing their overnight bags for their stay in the city-Sam suggested that Brooke get out of the house for a while without her. After her outburst the other day, she didn’t want to give them the impression that they were waiting with baited breath for them to leave.
Brooke spent the afternoon shopping and returned to the Palace a little after dinner time. She wondered if they should scrounge something together from the kitchen and eat in, or maybe try and go out for the evening. With a frown she thought of their last attempt at an evening out together.
She knew they couldn’t flaunt their relationship-at least for now-but she didn’t want to pretend nothing was going on between them. It made her feel like--
Like there was nothing going on between them. She had been secretly thrilled when they told Lily and Kat, because when other people were in on the secret it made it real. She longed for the day when they could finally be ‘Sam and Brooke’.
Wait. How about ‘Brooke and Sam’...?
She rolled the two around in her mind a few times, and had to admit that-dammit-‘Sam and Brooke’ sounded better.
Brooke had just fished her keys out of her purse when the front door magically opened before her. She smiled, ready to greet--
Lily?
The pretty Latina was dressed in a red dress shirt and black tie that looked very familiar.
Ah, Madame, Lily addressed her with a bow. Welcome to Tete-a-Tete West.
Huh?
Lily smiled at Brooke’s confusion. I believe the rest of your party has already arrived. She stepped aside and gestured for Brooke to enter.
She stepped over the threshold and just stared in awe at the transformation. Candles were everywhere, soft music played from the stereo, and in the center of the room was a round table set with a white linen tablecloth, candelabra centerpiece, and place settings for two.
Sam was standing at the table, waiting for her. She was dressed in a burgundy silk shirt that Brooke had never seen before with a plunging neckline made her forget all about being hungry.
The brunette smiled bashfully under the blonde’s appraisal, and the candlelight radiated in her eyes.
Sam, what is this? She was stunned.
I know you wanted our date to be special, she began. I wanted to give us another chance. She gestured to the candlelit room. We have candlelight, and when I explained to Kat what I was trying to do she went to the manager and he gave me one of the CD’s from the restaurant.
You went to the restaurant? Brooke asked in amazement.
I had to pick up the take-out, Sam grinned. Her smile widened when she saw Brooke’s reaction. Hey, don’t cry. I wanted this evening to be perfect.
Happy tears, Sam, she assured her.
Come sit down. Sam held out a chair for her. Beaming, Brooke sat down and then watched Sam take the seat across from her.
Sam placed her hand-palm up-on the table, offering it to her. Brooke laughed through fresh tears and held her girlfriend’s hand just like she’d wanted. With her free hand she dabbed at her eyes with her napkin.
Would you care for some champagne? Lily asked from beside her.
Lily volunteered to help make our evening special, Sam told her.
Thank you so much, Lily, Brooke smiled. And-yes-I’d love some champagne.
Brooke wasn’t sure how she’d finagled a bottle of champagne for the evening, but decided that she didn’t want to know. It was just more of what made Sam ‘Sam’. It was her magic that she could put all of this together so quickly-that she could make this the best New Year’s Eve ever.
Lily poured the bubbly into the champagne flutes. I can only stay for an hour or two. Josh and I have plans for tonight also.
That’s okay, Brooke informed her. By that time Sam will be naked and screaming my name like a banshee. You probably wouldn’t want to be around for that anyway.
Lily’s opened her mouth, but was rendered speechless. Whatever opinion she had on the matter was hers-and hers alone.
Brooke! Sam laughed, embarrassed.
At least I didn’t wait until you were drinking. I’m getting better.
Good point, Sam laughed. Are you hungry, or do you want to wait--
I’m starving! Brooke replied. And you better eat up too. You’re gonna need your strength, she winked.
Sam smiled to Lily. What’s the appetizer?
I speak Spanish, Sam, she laughed with a shrug. I have no idea what you ordered.
Yeah, me either, Sam confessed. I just asked Kat to pick out a couple of good entrees.
I’m sure whatever it is its wonderful, Brooke beamed. Did she give you any of the French Onion Soup? I had some there, and it was delicious.
I think I saw some soup in there, Lily smiled.
That’d be perfect! Brooke exclaimed.
A few moments later Brooke watched Lily ladle out soup for the two of them, and then turned her attention to watch Sam. The brunette glowed as she looked at her, and Brooke realized just how lucky she was.
I think you were right, Lily, Brooke began.
Huh?
I don’t think I am good enough for this girl. Brooke saw the candlelight suddenly reflected in Sam’s eyes, and the brunette looked away, embarrassed.
I think you’re perfect for each other, Lily observed. I’ll be in when dinner’s ready, she smiled, and left the two of them alone.
Good old Lily.
Brooke raised her champagne in a toast. To forever, Sam.
She regretted it immediately. As soon as the words were out, the voice inside her head-the one that reminded her that the career best suited to her was ‘rodeo clown’, the one that pointed out when she was putting on weight (the voice that sounded suspiciously like her mother)-told her that she was stupid for putting herself out there like that. They’d just started officially dating a few days ago. Wasn’t she getting a little ahead of herself talking about forever? And maybe Lily was wrong: maybe this was only a fling for Sam-a necessary first step in carving out her sexual identity.
I’m sorry, Sammy, she said, lowering her glass so that Sam didn’t see her hand shake. I-I’m being presumptuous talking about--
No! Sam pleaded, halting her downward spiral. Reluctantly-hopefully-she brought her eyes up to meet the brunette’s and found them brimming with unshed tears. You’re not, Sam assured her. I want forever too, Brooke. I--
I just didn’t know...I wasn’t sure what this meant to you, Sam explained. When I realized that I’d fallen for you, I knew it was a permanent condition. I just didn’t know how to ask you if that’s what you--
I do, Sammy, Brooke smiled through fresh tears. I definitely do.
Sam beamed, the light dancing in her eyes. So forever it is then, she vowed, raising her glass to the blonde.
Forever, Brooke nodded.
Happy New Year, Brooke.
Happy New Year, Sammy...
I actually went to post the whole thing but it was too large, so I'm splitting it into two parts.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Ryan Murphy...you know the rest. Who was it who recently asked: "Do we really need to put this in here anymore?" LOL.
Rating: NC-17 for naughty bits-a rarity for me.
Word Count: 10,161. According to Wikipedia, that makes it officially a 'novelette', LOL.
Continuity: This is next in line after 'In The Wee Hours', which was the final part of the Christmas Get-Together series.
A/N: Many thanks to Redlance for some much needed writing therapy when I was wondering if this story would ever get finished. And also to Splendid for inspiring me to write this in the first place. And BTW, did I mention that I love the super!Bram verse?
A/N II: Don't forget: '09 is the Year of Bram.
Summary: Sam and Brooke enjoy their new relationship as they welcome 2002.
Ringing in the New Year - Part II
Sam knocked at Harrison’s door the next afternoon, bouncing nervously on the balls of her feet. Harrison’s mother Robin answered the door. Hey Sam! she beamed.
Hi, Mrs. John, she replied. Is Harrison home?
He’s upstairs, she nodded. It’s so good to see you! Robin let her in and pulled Sam into a hug. Sam felt a pang of guilt. Mrs. John had been a second mother to her for most of her life, and she’d shut her out of her life as well.
And she felt doubly stupid now: Robin was gay. She had gone through all of the questioning and isolation that Sam had suffered through for months. It would have been good to talk to her.
You always were slow... Brooke’s voice echoed in her mind.
Sam knocked on the door jamb of Harrison’s door. He looked up from whatever he was reading at his desk. Hey, Sam. His expression was a mystery, and she realized just how long it had been since they’d hung out together-since they’d been friends.
She used to read his expression as easily as a mood ring. But ever since that fiasco with the prom, and then the accident, she’d let Harrison disappear from her life.
In fairness to herself, it hadn’t been unilateral. Harrison had faded away from her as much as she had from him.
Hey, Harrison. I wanted to talk to you.
I’m right here, Sam, he shrugged. I always have been.
So this is how it’s going to be, Sam thought to herself. She suddenly regretted refusing Brooke’s offer of coming with her. But that would have guaranteed an antagonistic situation. Still, she could always walk over to the open window and shout: Honey, help!
The thought cheered her up a bit. And then she realized that she could call Brooke ‘honey’ or ‘sweetheart’ or whatever she wanted while her best friend growing up was left out in the cold. She could very easily imagine how he felt. It’s how she had expected to feel for the rest of her life.
I know I haven’t been a very good friend lately, she confessed. I’m sorry. I’ve been going through a lot of--
You don’t have to apologize to me, Sam, he interjected. I haven’t exactly been around much either. I figured you needed your space.
Sam sat down on the bed facing him. The best way to do this was just to say it. Harrison, this year I realized that I’m-that I’m gay. She looked up at him, but his expression hadn’t changed.
Say something, she laughed. You’re just staring at me like a...like a doofus.
That got a reaction. He chuckled, and looked away for a moment before meeting her eyes again. But now the light was back in them when it looked at her. Her Harrison was back, even if only for a second.
I knew that, he answered-and then thought about his statement. Well, I guessed, he amended. He went on to clarify: I knew that if you weren’t gay, you had at least fallen in love with someone who was also a girl.
Sam studied him. Did he know? How did he know? She decided to put it out there. Brooke...
Harrison nodded.
How did you know?
It was Harrison’s turn to scrutinize her. You don’t remember the night of the accident, do you? he appraised her.
Sam faltered. It wasn’t one of her favorite subjects. No, not-not all of it, she began. Harrison waited for her to elaborate. I remember the headlights lighting her up, and I remember running up to her-not knowing if she was already--
Her breath caught in her throat and tears welled in her eyes. Just thinking about it threatened to release the emotions of that night. I remember being at the hospital, waiting to hear whether she would make it.
I’m sorry, he said. I wasn’t trying to upset you, Sam. I was just... he paused. That’s when I learned how you felt about Brooke. He too looked uncomfortable dredging up the memories of that night. When you followed her out and then--
I was stunned when it happened. I-I could barely move. When I caught up you were already with her...
His eyes took on a faraway look as he peered into the past. I’d never seen you like that: hysterical. You were frantic-begging-pleading with her and with God for her not to die.
He looked up at her. You told her you couldn’t live without her and that--
...that I needed her, and-and that I loved her... Sam remembered-her voice hollow with despair. The memories of that moment had come rushing back to her, and the tears fell because there was no way she could stop them. For an instant she was back on the road as Brooke’s life seeped out of her. Oh God!
Sam? Harrison called out to her, but she could barely hear him. Her vision was clouding around her.
She had to get out of there, and hoped her shaking legs would hold as she got to her feet. Harrison was saying something on the periphery of her senses, trying to apologize or something.
It’s not your fault, she cut him off. I just remembered--
I’m sorry. Harrison, I’ve got to go. It’s just too much right now. She reminded herself that she had come to tell him about her and Brooke, but it was too overwhelming. The pain of the accident was as fresh as it was on prom night. It was encapsulated within the memory, and recalling that moment felt like it was happening all over again. I gotta go! Sam said, and made for the door before she threw up.
Sam? Harrison’s mother called out as she ran by. What’s wrong? Sam was sobbing now, unable even to answer.
* * *
Brooke was in the family room, trying anything to take her mind off of where Sam was when a crying, disheveled mess came into the house and made a bee-line straight for her.
Sam? she asked, trying to keep her voice even despite the horrible sickness welling in her stomach.
The brunette walked right up to her and wrapped her arms around her, holding on for dear life. Sam? She was at a loss to venture what Harrison could have said to make her this upset, but couldn’t really delve into it at that exact instant. As it was, they had some explaining to do.
Did we miss something? Jane asked from across the room. Brooke felt Sam stiffen in her arms. What’s wrong?
Sam, is everything okay? What happened? Mike added. Thankfully, their voices were more concerned than suspicious.
What’s got you so upset? Brooke questioned, trying to sound as casual as she could given the fact that love of her life was falling to pieces.
Sam separated from Brooke, and wiped her nose. I’m sorry, she addressed Mike and her mother. My memories from the night of the accident are kind of sketchy, she began. I just had a flashback or something-and it was like being there all over again.
Oh Sam, her mother consoled her.
Oh God, Brooke lamented. She had learned in the past few days just how badly the accident had affected Sam, but was helpless to comfort her now. Thanks for being so concerned about me, Brooke said stupidly-cursing herself for sounding like a politician. She had to reach out to the brunette-make some contact at least-and put a hand on her shoulder. The poor girl was trembling, and she looked at Brooke beseechingly, needing a lifeline.
Brooke’s heart shattered. But she couldn’t: not with Dad and Jane standing right there-already wondering about their odd behavior. Surely Sammy knew that, right?
Or did she just say the hell with it and take Sam and hold her until the storm passed and then face the consequences?
Sam took the decision out of her hands. I’m going upstairs, she announced as she marched away from all of them. She took the stairs two at a time and Brooke heard the door slam.
I’d forgotten how devastated she was the night of your accident, Brooke, her father said. He addressed Jane: Didn’t she have to be treated for shock?
Jane nodded. I hadn’t seen her like that since...well, since Joe died.
As much as you two fought, I knew then that deep down she really did care about you, Mike said.
Brooke couldn’t take anymore. Jane, is it all right if I check on her? She’s got me worried.
Of course, Brooke. Jane nodded. I was just about to, but I think she’ll feel better if it’s you.
It was all Brooke could do to not take the stairs three at a time.
She rushed to Sam’s room praying that the door was unlocked-that Sam hadn’t shut her out. The brunette was an expert at hurting alone.
Sam? Brooke found her sitting on the floor of her room curled into a ball. She looked up, tears streaming down her face. Brooke locked the door, went over to the brunette, and wrapped herself around her there on the floor.
Sam collapsed completely into her, weeping like a child.
Brooke didn’t bother to remind her that she was still here-that she had survived. Sam was reliving that night as if it were happening all over again. But at least now she could be there for Sam like she couldn’t then-because that night she lay dying and it had been up to Sam to save her life.
She rocked the love of her life back and forth, cradling her gently, never suspecting that she was returning the favor.
After a while (minutes? hours?) the tears abated and Sam lay silent in her arms.
How are you feeling? Brooke asked.
Better, Sam replied, her voice husky with emotion. I hope I didn’t blow it with Mom and Mike.
I don’t think you did. They were more worried than anything, Brooke answered. And if they figure it out we’ll come clean and deal with it, she shrugged.
Just like that?
Just like that, Brooke nodded. The way you looked tonight my only concern right now is that you’re okay.
I’m sorry, Sam confessed. I don’t mean to be such a basket case.
Sammy, don’t be silly. I can’t even imagine what that must have been like to witness that. And I’m sorry that I never realized before how much the accident affected you.
I’ll be fine, Sam insisted stubbornly. Brooke would have shaken her head in frustration if it wasn’t locked into position against Sam’s. As long as I have this to remind me that you’re okay.
Sam squeezed her tighter, and Brooke let it go for now. How did it go with Harrison? she broached.
He knew.
Really? Brooke was surprised.
She felt Sam nod against her. About me, anyway, Sam amended. The night of the prom he heard me telling you that I needed you-and that I loved you when we were waiting for the ambulance. The brunette took a deep, shuddering breath and exhaled slowly before continuing. When he was telling me about it: that’s when the memory came back. I didn’t have a chance to tell him about us. I was freakin’ out, and just wanted to get out of there before I started screaming and lost it completely.
His poor Mom probably thinks I had a breakdown or-- she chuckled, Or that he tried to rape me or something. Poor guy’s probably getting the third degree right now...
It seemed so real, Brooke. It was like I was there all over again, and you were-- Sam couldn’t finish the sentence.
You saved my life that night, Brooke told her. Sam didn’t answer, but she felt the brunette shift to listen. I don’t remember much about that night either, to be honest. But I always remembered a voice telling me to hold on, and for the longest time I never knew who that voice belonged to, Brooke smiled.
It was you, Sammy. You kept me there. You made me hold on. You saved me, Brooke acknowledged.
Sam was quiet for a moment. It was self-preservation, she professed, because I knew at that moment that I couldn’t live without you.
Brooke looked up at a knock at the door. Sam? It was Jane. Are you okay in there?
Sam disengaged from the warm nest of long arms and legs. Brooke got up and sat on the bed while Sam unlocked the door. I’m okay, Mom, she half-lied. Jane embraced her daughter, and Brooke smiled.
She looked away to give them a moment, and focused her attention on Sam’s pillows. She’d discovered that one of them was much more comfortable than the other. She patted both pillows experimentally, and then flip-flopped them so that the comfy one was on her side of the bed.
Thank you, Brooke, for taking care of Sam, Jane called out her. She looked up to see Jane watching her.
Always, Brooke smiled. She felt funny inside-kind of tipsy all of a sudden-and had the strongest desire to simply tell Jane that she loved her daughter, and that she’d always take care of her. Probably not the smartest thing to do, though.
I just wanted to check on you and make sure you’re all right, she smiled to Sam. Don’t stay up too late tonight, okay? You two need to get your sleep patterns back to normal.
We will, Sam nodded.
Jane left and Sam shut the door behind her. She waited a few moments, listening for Jane’s footsteps to fade, before she locked it again.
Brooke patted the bed, and smiled. C’mon, Sammy, let’s take your Mom’s advice and hit the sack early.
Brooke, I don’t know if I--
Just to sleep, sweetheart, Brooke assured her. It’s been a long day for both of us.
Smiling, Sam peeled off her clothes, and they climbed into bed together.
Although... Brooke broached, did you ever hear that song ‘Sexual Healing’?
Brooke, Sam warned.
What? Can I help it that all the songs on the radio are suddenly about you?
Sam laughed out loud. What? Brooke asked.
That’s how Lily figured out I was in love, Sam began, there was some cheesy song on the radio and I got upset when she turned it.
Were you thinking about me? Brooke grinned.
Uh-huh, Sam nodded. The songs on the radio have all been about you for a long time, the brunette confessed.
That’s my Sammy, Brooke smiled. She nuzzled into the brunette’s neck, and started singing a fair rendition of ‘Sexual Healing’-at least as many words as she knew.
Brooke! Sam protested-squirming as Brooke tickled her neck. They laughed late into the night.
* * *
Mike and Jane got ready for bed, and Jane was a bit preoccupied. There was something going on with her daughter-and with Brooke too come to think of it.
The look on Sam’s face when she’d come home tonight had scared her. Sam hadn’t looked that way since Joe died. If everyone hadn’t been safely at home and accounted for, Jane would have guessed that something had happened to Mike or Brooke.
Jane felt a stab of guilt thinking back on the night of the prom. She’d been so worried thinking about Brooke-and being there for Mike-that she hadn’t really thought about what Sam was going through. The two girls had grown close in the months preceding the accident. And Sam had been the only witness-other than Nicole-what must that have been like for her: to see Brooke’s body broken--
She shivered, needing to think about something else.
Jane... Mike ventured. She looked over at him. He’d been quiet tonight, and looked like he was having difficulty articulating whatever was on his mind.
Nothing, he finally said. Must be getting senile, he grinned.
She smiled back, and pulled back the covers. She fluffed her--
Waitaminute. She reached over to Mike’s side of the bed as he was always trying to steal her good pillow. Nice try, she told him, and flip-flopped the comfy pillow to her side of the...
Jane stared at the pillow, thinking about Brooke mimicking that same action. What else could the girl have been doing? She searched for any other reasonable explanation and came up lacking. And that was just one piece of the puzzle: there was the pillow, Sam’s strange behavior tonight, their close relationship of late. Could it be...? Was it possible that Brooke and Sam had become Brooke and Sam...?
Nahh, she dismissed the thought and shook her head at herself. What was she thinking? That was ridiculous.
Senility, she reasoned, must be contagious.
* * *
The next couple of days passed without event. Jane and Dad seemed to accept Sam’s explanation of the incident at face value. Still, Brooke couldn’t help but feel they were being scrutinized more than normal, and she and Sam were very careful over the following couple of days. Not once was Sam molested in the kitchen.
Well, okay, once. But Brooke looked in the garage beforehand to make sure that both cars were gone this time.
They had spent that entire night curled up in bed together. Brooke held Sam until she finally fell asleep-emotionally and physically drained-and thankfully slumbered without dreaming. They awoke early enough the next morning to join Jane and her father for bacon and waffles.
Jane suggested counseling for Sam at breakfast the next morning. Brooke jumped at the idea-she had seen the counselors while in the hospital, and they had been as much a part of her recovery as the physical therapist.
There was counseling for the victims-and often times the assailant-but what about the loved ones who were affected? She knew it would help Sam to see a counselor, but the brunette flatly refused.
Brooke let it go for the time being. She would warm Sam up to the idea gradually. The brunette had just as many scars from that night as she did, but no one noticed because all of hers were on the inside.
Sam was back to her old self on New Year’s Eve. As her Dad and Jane got ready-packing their overnight bags for their stay in the city-Sam suggested that Brooke get out of the house for a while without her. After her outburst the other day, she didn’t want to give them the impression that they were waiting with baited breath for them to leave.
Brooke spent the afternoon shopping and returned to the Palace a little after dinner time. She wondered if they should scrounge something together from the kitchen and eat in, or maybe try and go out for the evening. With a frown she thought of their last attempt at an evening out together.
She knew they couldn’t flaunt their relationship-at least for now-but she didn’t want to pretend nothing was going on between them. It made her feel like--
Like there was nothing going on between them. She had been secretly thrilled when they told Lily and Kat, because when other people were in on the secret it made it real. She longed for the day when they could finally be ‘Sam and Brooke’.
Wait. How about ‘Brooke and Sam’...?
She rolled the two around in her mind a few times, and had to admit that-dammit-‘Sam and Brooke’ sounded better.
Brooke had just fished her keys out of her purse when the front door magically opened before her. She smiled, ready to greet--
Lily?
The pretty Latina was dressed in a red dress shirt and black tie that looked very familiar.
Ah, Madame, Lily addressed her with a bow. Welcome to Tete-a-Tete West.
Huh?
Lily smiled at Brooke’s confusion. I believe the rest of your party has already arrived. She stepped aside and gestured for Brooke to enter.
She stepped over the threshold and just stared in awe at the transformation. Candles were everywhere, soft music played from the stereo, and in the center of the room was a round table set with a white linen tablecloth, candelabra centerpiece, and place settings for two.
Sam was standing at the table, waiting for her. She was dressed in a burgundy silk shirt that Brooke had never seen before with a plunging neckline made her forget all about being hungry.
The brunette smiled bashfully under the blonde’s appraisal, and the candlelight radiated in her eyes.
Sam, what is this? She was stunned.
I know you wanted our date to be special, she began. I wanted to give us another chance. She gestured to the candlelit room. We have candlelight, and when I explained to Kat what I was trying to do she went to the manager and he gave me one of the CD’s from the restaurant.
You went to the restaurant? Brooke asked in amazement.
I had to pick up the take-out, Sam grinned. Her smile widened when she saw Brooke’s reaction. Hey, don’t cry. I wanted this evening to be perfect.
Happy tears, Sam, she assured her.
Come sit down. Sam held out a chair for her. Beaming, Brooke sat down and then watched Sam take the seat across from her.
Sam placed her hand-palm up-on the table, offering it to her. Brooke laughed through fresh tears and held her girlfriend’s hand just like she’d wanted. With her free hand she dabbed at her eyes with her napkin.
Would you care for some champagne? Lily asked from beside her.
Lily volunteered to help make our evening special, Sam told her.
Thank you so much, Lily, Brooke smiled. And-yes-I’d love some champagne.
Brooke wasn’t sure how she’d finagled a bottle of champagne for the evening, but decided that she didn’t want to know. It was just more of what made Sam ‘Sam’. It was her magic that she could put all of this together so quickly-that she could make this the best New Year’s Eve ever.
Lily poured the bubbly into the champagne flutes. I can only stay for an hour or two. Josh and I have plans for tonight also.
That’s okay, Brooke informed her. By that time Sam will be naked and screaming my name like a banshee. You probably wouldn’t want to be around for that anyway.
Lily’s opened her mouth, but was rendered speechless. Whatever opinion she had on the matter was hers-and hers alone.
Brooke! Sam laughed, embarrassed.
At least I didn’t wait until you were drinking. I’m getting better.
Good point, Sam laughed. Are you hungry, or do you want to wait--
I’m starving! Brooke replied. And you better eat up too. You’re gonna need your strength, she winked.
Sam smiled to Lily. What’s the appetizer?
I speak Spanish, Sam, she laughed with a shrug. I have no idea what you ordered.
Yeah, me either, Sam confessed. I just asked Kat to pick out a couple of good entrees.
I’m sure whatever it is its wonderful, Brooke beamed. Did she give you any of the French Onion Soup? I had some there, and it was delicious.
I think I saw some soup in there, Lily smiled.
That’d be perfect! Brooke exclaimed.
A few moments later Brooke watched Lily ladle out soup for the two of them, and then turned her attention to watch Sam. The brunette glowed as she looked at her, and Brooke realized just how lucky she was.
I think you were right, Lily, Brooke began.
Huh?
I don’t think I am good enough for this girl. Brooke saw the candlelight suddenly reflected in Sam’s eyes, and the brunette looked away, embarrassed.
I think you’re perfect for each other, Lily observed. I’ll be in when dinner’s ready, she smiled, and left the two of them alone.
Good old Lily.
Brooke raised her champagne in a toast. To forever, Sam.
She regretted it immediately. As soon as the words were out, the voice inside her head-the one that reminded her that the career best suited to her was ‘rodeo clown’, the one that pointed out when she was putting on weight (the voice that sounded suspiciously like her mother)-told her that she was stupid for putting herself out there like that. They’d just started officially dating a few days ago. Wasn’t she getting a little ahead of herself talking about forever? And maybe Lily was wrong: maybe this was only a fling for Sam-a necessary first step in carving out her sexual identity.
I’m sorry, Sammy, she said, lowering her glass so that Sam didn’t see her hand shake. I-I’m being presumptuous talking about--
No! Sam pleaded, halting her downward spiral. Reluctantly-hopefully-she brought her eyes up to meet the brunette’s and found them brimming with unshed tears. You’re not, Sam assured her. I want forever too, Brooke. I--
I just didn’t know...I wasn’t sure what this meant to you, Sam explained. When I realized that I’d fallen for you, I knew it was a permanent condition. I just didn’t know how to ask you if that’s what you--
I do, Sammy, Brooke smiled through fresh tears. I definitely do.
Sam beamed, the light dancing in her eyes. So forever it is then, she vowed, raising her glass to the blonde.
Forever, Brooke nodded.
Happy New Year, Brooke.
Happy New Year, Sammy...